"I can't believe that my parents want me to live at home." Seunghyun mumbled to himself as he lifted the last of his boxes into his new dorm room at campus. He was starting his first year in modern art at Korea National University of Arts and his parents had almost forced him to live at home until they had heard that he was to share rooms with another person.

"I'm not that irresponsible." He continued mumbling and looking around himself satisfied.

To anyone else it would be like walking info a dump sight, with boxes everywhere and clothes occupying both beds (and how he managed that in less than one hour I leave for the angels to foretell).

"Now, what have i missed?" He wondered and kicked his shoes off carelessly, while rummaging through boxes in search of some clue of what to do next. In the third box he found pens and notebooks.

Right, classes.

And Seunghyun got in a hurry to leave for his introduction.

~

Well after lunch time, maybe closer to dinner time, Seunghyun arrived home and almost dropped the grocery bag on the floor in shock.

What happened here?

Where he had left his boxes there was now a cozy rug, and where he had left his clothes was now well made beds. The two desks in the room had changed location so that they were facing each other in the middle of the room, a folding wall was put up to hinder insight to the bed to the further right, and when Seunghyun opened the refrigerator there was already an pot with food waiting for him.

On his desk was a short note.

Dear roommate.

I took the liberty to arrange our room in your absence. Your side is the left one, don't be noisy and don't mess around on my side.

AND DONT EAT MY FOOD!!

Best regards

Choi Jonghun

Seunghyun read the note five times, getting angrier by the minute. How rude his roommate sounded and what a rude note. Like he would see food and become totally uncivilized.

Well, I'll be now!

As revenge he took a plate from the cupboard and served himself food from Jonghuns pot.

"Don't mess with Seunghyun." He laughed as he ate. Deliberately leaving the dishes on Jonghuns desk.

But after he had finished the delicious food he felt remorse for breaking that one rule. Jonghun had made a clear request for him not to eat that food and he had completely disregarded that.

“Aww, what to do, what to do?”

Before he could ponder more over the situation he heard a key turn in the lock and as he turned around he saw a tall man enter. A tall and muscular man.

Drool.

"Ah, you must be my new roommate." The man said and offered him his hand. "I'm Choi Jonghun and this is a good friend of mine, Lee Hongki."

Hongki waved and went to Jonghun side of the room, behind the folding wall.

"I'm Song Seunghyun and this is my first time away from home, please take care of me." Shame was burning his cheeks as he shook the older ones hand, the plate all visible on the otherwise neat desk was standing out. Seunghyuns desk already looked as if he had spent all his day studying at it.

He saw Jonghun look at the plate with raised eyebrows, but then he turned back to Seunghyun with a smile.

"Hope you don't mind but we are going to eat and watch a movie or something. Have a good night."

And just like that the other two was behind the screen and talking like he wasn't there.

At first Seunghyun didn't care about it, but after he read through his notes for the second time and checked instagram and twitter and facebook and anything else he could do on his phone, he was rather bored.

He still felt rather bad for eating of Jonghuns food, so he didn't want to disturb his older roommate, but he couldn't keep from listening to the conversation taking place on the other side of the wall. He almost felt like a thief in the dark, listening on a conversation (though really not that interesting) that wasn't meant for his ears.

Jonghun and Hongki seemed to be talking about a band they were both playing in and about something taboo, but they never mentioned enough for Seunghyun to understand what it was all about.

When Jonghun took out his guitar and started to play softly while Hongki sang along just as softly, Seunghyun finally fell asleep. With all his clothes on. On top of the blanket.

When he woke up the next morning the sun was already up and he didn't have time to reflect on how he had magically gotten undressed to his underwear and got in under the blanket during the night. He was late and only took the new note lying on his desk before running to class.

~

Pabo Seunghyun!

Please take better care of yourself or you'll catch a cold any day now.

/Jonghun

~

Seunghyun~

Stop leaving your dirty laundry everywhere!

/Jonghun

~

Seunghyun

Eat some of the food in the refrigerator, or it will get old.

/Jonghun

~

Weeks followed in the same pattern, Seunghyun had a hard time connecting to his classmates and was quite lonely. It didn't help that Jonghun seldom was home and when he was he had some friend with him, and not inviting him to join. Almost everyday he got at least one note too, complaining about something he had done or telling him to do or not do something.

All in all, Seunghyun didn't really like it at university and living so far off from his childhood friends.

About a month after he had moved into the dorm a big package with a new, and to his dismay yellow, guitar arrived. With it a note followed.

Dear son!

As you've seem to be doing so well at university, we wanted to give you a gift to motivate your studying. And since your guitar broke before you left home, we decided to buy you a new one.

Hope you like it!

Study hard and make us pride.

Love

Mom and Dad

PS. Your mom chose the color!

Seunghyun was not home when the guitar arrived, but when he came home Jonghun was waiting for him, giving him the package and the note.

"Do you play?" Jonghun asked.

Seunghyun nodded and played some tune he had heard Jonghun play last night. A perfect imitation.

He looked up, smiling at Junghun, and saw Jonghun smile back.

"You have any plans for tonight?"

~

They arrived at the music academy on campus around six thirty, they were on their way to one of the music rooms that he had heard that the music students could use. They didn't really talk, even if Seunghyuns insides was bubbling with held back questions. He didn't want to take a wrong step and go back to the silence between them. This was, after all, the longest time he had spent with one person since he had started university.

Seunghyun walked a step behind Jonghun and watched the man before him; his broad back, muscular arms that showed under the t-shirt, the strong neck and long legs. Jonghun probably was a girls wet dream. And for a moment Seunghyun got jealous and wished he wasn't so thin, but then he returned to his carefree nature; there was girls enough out there for everyone. Even for him, one day.

He realized that he really hadn't looked at Jonghun before. He had seen him, sure, but not really watched him. And maybe it kind of was Jonghuns fault for being so uncommunicative and for only really communicating with him through notes the first month. But Seunghyun wasn't one to hold a grudge on someone to infinity and back.

"Come on." Jonghun called to him, Seunghyun had fallen behind while he was thinking and now Jonghun was holding a door open.

Seunghyun ran the last bit and entered the room where he recognized Hongki. Two other boys that he hadn't met before was there as well. And it was like Jonghun had read his thoughts because he instantly introduced them as Jaejin on bas and Minhwan on drums in their band called FT Island.

"We are one guitarist short, do you want to try out for the spot?" Hongki asked, he didn't look happy about Seunghyuns presence.

He looked to Jonghun for advice, who smiled at him and nodded.

"I think he is the one we're looking for." He said to Hongki and then turned back to Seunghyun. "Give it a try. Play the one you played before"

Seunghyun sat down, playing the melody he had heard the night before while looking both at Jaejin, Minhwan and Jonghun, who smiled at him.

A strange warm feeling was filling him up and he had to turn back to his guitar

He tried to sneak a look at Hongki as well, but after the rather cold greeting he felt rather shy towards him.

It was nothing new. The first time they met Hongki had acted cold as well.

He decided on focusing on trying to impress the sour Hongki and the quieter other men instead. He let the music fill him, taking over his body and feeling the notes leaving his body, himself merging with the instrument.

The music took him over and he started to loose himself in the sounds coming from the guitar, the rest of the room was completely silent.

Finally he felt a hand on his shoulder and he let go of the instrument as if it had burned him and looking up. Hongki stood there and smirked.

"You're in."

~

After that Seunghyuns time at campus became more fun, he and Minhwan became good friends. He didn't spend more time with his roommate though. They met at band practice and that was it.

It was alright though, he and Minhwan spent most of their free time together; and so also this day.

"Ah, finally lunch!" Seunghyun exclaimed as they sat down together out on campus.

"Yes, well shush now, I have gossip." Minhwan said and pushed his lunch to the side to bend forward to whisper. "Someone likes you~!"

Seunghyun looked up from his lunch, shocked. "Who?"

A theatrical pause from Minhwans side, him smiling triumphantly. This was obviously big news.

"Jonghun."

This time it was Seunghyuns time to pause, but for an entirely different reason; it was too much to comprehend and all he could say was a weak: "What?"

He gathered his thoughts; so this was bad. He was surely not gay. He was sure. Oh well, pretty sure. And Jonghun looked really good. And all those muscles. But Seunghyun wasn't gay, not that much at least. Maybe?

No, not gay.

He shared his worries with Minhwan who just laughed.

"I'm serious here! I don't think I could like this person back~."

Another laugh.

"You just said that you do." Minhwan laughed. "You like his muscles."

"But I don't know him. We barely talk, you must have misunderstood what they were talking about."

"Well then, if that's the only problem I'll fix it!" Minhwan said and got up before Seunghyun could change his mind.

Instead Jonghun walked around smiling (which was bad from Seunghyuns point of view since that could mean that he knew) while cooking.

They still didn't talk much though, so maybe Minhwan didn't find Jonghun after all.

“Had a good day?” Seunghyun was ripped from his thoughts with the question that sounded way too practiced, not spontaneous at all.

“Eum, yeah, and you?”

This is so awkward.

Jonghun nodded and Seunghyun didn't know what to talk about next, instead he took up his phone and called Minhwan.

“Min, want to come over? Please?”

“But what about what we talked about?” The others voice came from the other line.

“Never mind, just come over.”

If he liked me, wouldn't he be disappointed that I invited Minhwan when we're finally alone? He mustn't like me after all. Minhwan misunderstood.

He could however not help himself from admitting that his potential admirer was rather handsome. Very handsome to be exact.

And wouldn't it be nice to be hugged by those warm, raw muscles?

But kissing a man? And loose his ity to a man? How was that even possible?

Thinking about it made him shudder. He didn't really know how it was to be done, but he had some idea about it and it made him cringe.

Fifteen minutes later he was saved from the awkwardness in the dorm. He had hidden on his bed with a book, carefully looking over past it at Jonghun that was cooking like nothing happened, but now he was safe enough to let go of the book.

“Hi Jonghun, smells good, what are you cooking?” Minhwan asked as he was let in and took off his shoes.

Seunghyun didn't pay attention to their conversation as he sat up on the bed and panicking waved his friend over.

“So, how are you doing?” Minhwan smiled as he sat down on the bed.

“Fine.” He answered pointedly, raising his eyebrows.

Minhwan just laughed and shook his shoulders.

“Wanna watch a movie?”

~

He didn't know how he ended up where he was, but he woke up in Jonghuns arms.

Jonghun was pulling his shirt off and Seunghyun yelped and pulled his shirt close to himself.

“Ah, so you're awake? Good, you shouldn't sleep in your clothes.” He smiled.

“Wha... What?”

Jonghun smiled and held up his palms. “You fell asleep and Minhwan left so I thought that I would help you to bed.”

Oh my God, he was undressing me! ert!

He was speechless, and Jonghun didn't seem to like to explain it further and the awkwardness was back between them. Or at least Seunghyun found it awkward, Jonghun didn't seem to bother too much.

“You want to eat, or just go to bed?”

He was about to answer that he wanted to sleep, but his stomach got first. A big rumbling sound filled the room and Seunghyun felt his face warm up.

“Food it is.” Jonghun laughed and pulled him to his feet.

He was still shirtless and quite uncomfortable, but Jonghun didn't seem to mind as he sat him down at the desk and cleared some space for a plate. Then he sat down at his own desk and looked at the plate encouragingly.

“Eat. I made it for you.”

Butterflies Seunghyun had never felt before woke up in his stomach and made him blush. He felt the heat spread across his cheeks and quickly turned to the food.

I'm just flattered, just flattered. And a tiny bit embarrassed. Nothing more.

He hurriedly ate the food and went to bed.

~

It continued with Jonghun being nice to him and he being embarrassed for weeks and soon he couldn't stand it.

He decided to go home for the weekend, because weekends was the worst. On weekdays he could hide behind homework and band practice, but weekends they were mostly alone in an awkward silence. And Seunghyun didn't dare to break the silence.

What if he said something offensive, he didn't know how to talk to a homoual man. Anything could maybe be offensive! And what if he by mistake was to encourage something he didn't really want between them.

But he had decided that he wasn't gay. He was even starting to believe it himself, even if Minhwan didn't.

So he went home.

His mother hugged him and cried a bit. His father hugged him and did not cry one bit. It was all as it used to be. He spent time with his friends on Saturday and Sunday, but Sunday night he was with his mother.

“So darling, you look different, have something happened?”

He was undecided if he should tell his mother or not, but he had always told her everything.

“Don't get to shocked but there's a guy who might like me.”

His mother sat down, a slightly bit shocked maybe.

“Ah, I didn't see that coming.” She smiled a bit. “And what about you? Do you like him?”

No! Nononononono.

“I don't think so.” He took a big sip of his tea. “It's just really complicated because he is handsome and everything but we're always so awkward when alone. And I don't know what to say because he is gay and what if I offend him and he becomes angry? And then we might wouldn't be able to live together! But he is really, as a girl would say, dreamy. But awkward.”

His mother hit him over the head with a magazine and looked sternly at him.

“Seunghyun, I raised you better than that.” She said. “You shouldn't be so judgmental, maybe you're the only one finding that silence awkward. Ever think of that? And if you do, you shouldn't judge him just because he might be gay, you should treat him like anyone else.”

“But he tried to undress me...”

“I do not want to hear that!”

“But mom!”

She sighed and he pouted.

“Now you'll go back to school and be nice to this boy and if you like him it's fine by me and your dad, so go back and be yourself.” She said. “And who knows, he might loose interest if you are yourself!”

So he went back to campus that very same evening.

Not knowing how to face how to face anyone after his talk with his mom he walked around campus to gather his thoughts.

So maybe it wouldn't be that bad if Jonghun liked him after all. They were both tall and good looking, they would look good together. But what if the band didn't approve? Or what if they got together and then broke up? And kissing a man?

That couldn't be as good as kissing a girl. Girls have fuller lips, softer lips. But Jonghuns looked quite soft too. All though Seunghyun wouldn't know because he “hadn't looked”. He was quite sure about that, maybe Minhwan said it?

That must be it.

But no matter who said it, he still had a problem. He didn't know how to address the issue with Jonghun.

Maybe straight forward. You never know until you try.

So he went home and found Jonghun on his bed, reading a book alone.

“Hey, you're back.”

More than that Jonghun didn't have time to say before their lips touched.

It lasted for a second too long and then Seunghyun broke the kiss.

“Not bad.” He mumbled to himself and pulled Jonghun up in a sitting position. The other man was quite shocked and silently followed his lead as Seunghyun pulled his arms around himself.

“Not bad either.” He mumbled to himself again and snuggled closer to Jonghuns broad chest.

“Eh, what are you doing?” Jonghun finally said, but didn't pull away.

Seunghyun looked up. “This isn't what you wanted?”

“Well...”

He sat up from the embrace and looked into Jonghuns eyes.

“What do you want? Because Minhwan told me that you wanted this.”

“Well...”

He held up a finger, shushing the older man on the bed.

“I know!” He got up from the bed and pulled off his shirt before sitting down again. “This is it, isn't it? You tried to do this before if I remember correctly.”

He smiled big towards Jonghun and waited but, unlike what he expected, Jonghun pulled a blanket over him and got up from the bed with a sigh.

“No, not really what I wanted. Want some tea?”

And then they sat down on the bed together wit a cup off tea and Seunghyun got nervous about what was to happen.

I won't undress more!

“So you know I like you?” Seunghyun nodded a bit shyly. Jonghun mumbled to himself. “Well, it was about to come out some day.”

“You must know though that we don't really know each other?”

“No? I mean, I know you pretty well.”

"you do?"

"Yeah, I mean, I know some about you. I feel like i know you."

"But we've barely spoken."

Jonghun came closer to him and smiling softly.

"I know that you love to speak English, which is cute, and you're never moody but always pleasant to be around. Apart from when you play pranks. You are a bit odd, but you have a great personality."

Seunghyun sat silent. Not sure if it was because of the shock for all those words, more was said in less then an hour that in weeks together. Or if it was because what those words meant.

"But I don't know you."

"Sure you do. You know that I'm a bit silent around you, like leaving notes to you, that I like to listen when you play the guitar. You know that I'm easily embarrassed."

Silence. That awkward silence again.

"But is that enough?"

Laughter.

"Maybe we can date and you can get to know me better?"

"Are you asking me out that awkwardly? Because that didn't go very well with me."

"How should I ask you out then?"

Seunghyun thought for a moment, thinking through all the ways he had pictured it when he was to ask someone out; but that was all girls and he wasn't a girl and he didn't want that...

His thoughts was interrupted by soft lips, that he just had to lean closer to, was touching his.

It was over too soon and he looked into Jonghuns eyes that was quite close now.

Chocolate dark irises, quite beautiful too.

"Want to date me?"

Pause.

"If you kiss me again."