The clanking sounds of the porcelain lids hitting against the respective teacups were gradually filtering throughout the enclosed room. The loud noises as the spoon stirred through the teas and coffees were heard in every corner. Waiters and waitresses had their hands and feet all over the room as they tried to manage the crowd. Yet in the corner of the large café, a group of boys was surrounded by complete silence despite the surrounding volume and the screams of their hearts. They sat ever quietly, eyes on each other but the words seemed to have got caught in the middle of their throat, unable to voice out a single sound.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were back when we first met yesterday?” Jinhwan asked in his trembling voice. Anyone could tell that this guy had probably bawled his eyes out because of the tears stained cheeks and swollen eyes. And the disappointment in his voice merely added on to the already broken heart of Hanbin’s, as the latter wondered if that question was directed at him, or was it Bobby who claimed the name ‘Hanbin’?

“I…” Bobby started, still unable to grasp the situation clearly. He obviously was sick and tired of whatever Hanbin was trying to do but he knew how determined his brother was. And even when they were only half an hour into this entire drama, Bobby knew that it isn’t going to be an easy road ahead. He swore he wanted to just spill out every single thing the moment he saw how Jinhwan was grabbing his hands, yet crying out Hanbin’s name like it was the only thing in his mind. He wanted to, but Hanbin did all he could, just so he can protect Jinhwan.

“He lost his memory five years back in an accident, and I guess he just wasn’t very sure of the parts and pieces in his mind,” Hanbin blabbered, trying to find some reason and even if it is going to be ridiculous, he knew that someone somehow had to believe.

Maybe Bobby was crossing his fingers as he begged for Jinhwan to not take any of Hanbin’s bull; and maybe, just maybe, Hanbin wished for Jinhwan to question their identity too. After all, he had waited for eight long years to be with Jinhwan again. Hanbin’s words hit Jinhwan hard, seemingly satisfying enough to make up for the loss of contact five years ago. But Jinhwan only stared hard at the one who claimed ‘Hanbin’, wondering if it was also the accident five years ago that took away the warmth that only Hanbin can bring. Jinhwan wondered if it was normal that ‘Hanbin’ felt like a whole new person, like someone so distant.

“Hanbin… Have you forgotten all about us?” Jinhwan started. Perhaps it is innate in us humans to react to our name; Hanbin lifted his head upon hearing Jinhwan, but as he was about to open his mouth, he stopped in time. He stopped right before he creates the scene whereby he could possibly become the most unwanted burden of Jinhwan’s. But if hearts could speak, Hanbin would have shouted a gazillion times back, telling Jinhwan that his mind and heart was only big enough to fit the memories they’ve both shared; really nothing more, really nothing less.

“I just wasn’t sure if you were that boy in my vivid memories,” Bobby replied, ever coldly as millions of thoughts ran through his mind, hoping for someone to put an end to this. After all, he had no intention in hurting Jinhwan; but the truth is, the boy will be hurt in so many ways when he finds out how all those lies were simply crafted to so-called give him the protection he had never wanted. Looking deep into Jinhwan’s eyes, all Bobby saw was his longing for Hanbin, yet he can’t bring himself to reveal the truth because Hanbin really isn’t any stronger than one thought.

“I am… I am! You went to the beach yesterday because you remembered of our past right? The beautiful sandcastle that you’ve built used to be there! And today as well, the Ferris wheel! You were there because of our promise, wasn’t it?” Jinhwan probed nervously, yet anyone can see the hopes that were relighted again behind his eyes.

“I really don’t know!” Bobby exclaimed in frustration as he barged his way out of the café. He hated it. He hated how Jinhwan was looking at him, shouting Hanbin’s name and he hated how Hanbin looked so broken, tearing behind that sunglasses that he refused to take off. He felt ridiculous. He felt like all these lies will only crumble the innocent Jinhwan even more in future. He too, wanted to help Hanbin, but none of the things that were going on proved to him that they were for the betterment of any of them.

Yet Jinhwan’s heart sank as he watched Bobby, or you could call him ‘Hanbin’ take his leave abruptly. Truthfully, Jinhwan was afraid. He was so afraid when ‘Hanbin’ walked away from him again today because he might walk away for another eight years or even more. Jinhwan was tired, tired to wait aimlessly. He had long lost his sanity and the fact that ‘Hanbin’ is back, he don’t think that he was strong enough to let everything slip away like it did before. Whether the ‘Hanbin’ who had just walked out is the one whom he gave his heart to eight years ago, he still has to give it a chase; because Jinhwan was innocent too, because Jinhwan never knew that the ‘Bobby’ sitting next to him was the guy that he had been foolishly awaiting for the past eight years.

“Kim Jinhwan!” Junhoe stood up as he ran after the wheelchair boy, trying to stop him. If there is another innocent party in this whole situation, then it has to be Junhoe. He knew nothing about Hanbin, yet as he witnessed how Jinhwan cried upon that name and that person who claimed that name, he knew it was something that Jinhwan was never able to return him. Call him selfish if you want, but if you don’t even allow him to be selfish for once after all the selfless acts in the past few years, then aren’t you too heartless? He too wanted to secure his own happiness. And he knew enough by watching, that Jinhwan will never return to his side again if he was to leave this café.

“Mianhe… Mianhe but I really can’t afford to lose him again,” Jinhwan cried as he pushed Junhoe’s hand off his shoulders. That moment, he felt like the worst jerk on earth. But he is a human too.

“Hanbin!” Jinhwan cried. He gave his all to chase but it was just this fast that his wheelchair could go. He was so afraid of losing sight of who he thought was Hanbin, and he was so afraid that the scene from eight years back will reply. The road was too edgy with the half-paved cement and rocks that were scattered all over. The pilling snow that covered the floor was not doing any justice to the petite boy. Jinhwan’s eyes only remained focused on ‘Hanbin’.

“Ahhh!” Jinhwan yelped as he accidentally missed a step on a high platform.

“Jinhwan!” Junhoe and Bobby called out simultaneously as they both dashed towards the petite boy who was now sitting on the cold pile of snow, elbow scraped by the rough cemented floor, which he had accidentally brushed against. The two clumsy men can only hurry over clumsily, one retrieving the wheelchair that had toppled over while the other tried to help Jinhwan up.

Yet on the other hand, Hanbin who had remained silent throughout just followed behind them, his heart breaking as Jinhwan’s voice echoed again and again in his ears. He wanted to be one of them who rushed forward to help Jinhwan too; he wanted to be the first one by Jinhwan’s side too but his stubbornness got the better of him. His footsteps came to a halt as he stayed quietly behind the bus stop, listening to the sobs that he begged for to stop.

“Yah, why did you follow me…” Bobby tried to nag but his heart softens upon the eye contact with the petite boy. He felt so sorry. Why should he be the one running away from everything when Hanbin and Jinhwan were hurting the most in this mess? In Jinhwan’s eyes, all he saw