A/N: To avoid confusions, the italicized paragraphs are the lyrics to the song, the bold ones are the POV and the normal ones are the dialogue. Enjoy reading! ^^

 

 

[A Drop in the Ocean - Ron Pope]

A drop in the ocean,

A change in the weather.

I was prayin' that you and me might end up together.

 

 

My photoshoot had just wrapped up. It's already late. I got home to our dorm thirty minutes before midnight. Just when I thought that my roommate has already caught up with her beauty sleep, I heard her soft voice calling out my name.

 

"Chaerin-ah, you're home."

 

 

It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert.

But I'm holding you closer than most,

'Cause you are my heaven.

 

 

I turn around to look at her direction. There she is, her angelic face never cease to amaze me. How does she manage to look so fresh and very pretty even this late at night? I'm starting to believe our fans. She is a goddess. My goddess. And yes, I'm in love with her yet she doesn't know it.
I don't think I'll be confessing soon, though, because I can't lose her just because of my stupid feelings and she's currently taken by someone else. Tragic, right?

 

"I was worried that you'll be coming later like the previous days.", she exclaimed. I dropped my bag at the couch along with my coat which I just took off.

 

"Yeah, today was the last day. We didn't waste any time since all of us are still busy with other projects so we want to finish it quickly. Thank goodness, it's done.", I plopped down on the couch as I explain. She sat beside me then ran her hand through my blonde locks.
 

She continues to caress my hair. I closed my eyes and let myself feel her soft touches on my tresses.

 

"You know, you didn't have to wait for me, unnie."

 

"But I want to. Besides, I can't sleep so here I am."

 

I stared at her while she keeps on massaging my head. I noticed her smile hasn't left her beautiful face.

 

"Unnie, you've never looked happier. What have you eaten today?", I asked her as I sat properly, facing her.

 

"What do you mean? I'm just happy because you're here beside me being all cute.", I raised my brow. Aish, stop teasing me, unnie.

 

She eventually gave up as I keep my I-don't-believe-you face then she managed to meet my gaze again and said, 

 

"Let's have a few drinks, Chae."

 

 

I don't want to waste the weekend,

If you don't love me, pretend.

A few more hours

Then its time to go.

 

 

Here we are at the balcony of our dorm, enjoying the view of Seoul and feeling the cool breeze of the season. I changed my clothes into an oversized t-shirt and a pair of loose sweatpants.

 

"Do you believe about a love that lasts forever?", she asks then takes a sip on her glass of red wine.

 

Dara. Why do you have to ask a question like that all of the sudden?

 

I just looked at her and stayed silent. I honestly don't know how should I answer. I wanted to say yes because that's how I feel about her. But I decided to be quiet because I might blurt out my entire feelings towards her and regret it for the rest of my life.

 

"I used to think that it's not true. But maybe it's time for me to find out.", she told me. I can see her eyes shining like a precious diamonds. I wish she could stare at me with this gaze forever and I'd be happy to get lost in them all the time.
 

I'm starting to wonder why she said that. Does it mean..

 

"I'm engaged."

 

 

And as my train moves down the east coast,

I wonder how you keep warm.

It's too late to cry,

Too broken to move on.

 

 

I stopped playing with my own glass and looked at her, obviously surprised. 

 

Did I heard it right?

 

"Seriously? Since when?", I can only afford to ask. I'm still shocked. It's all too sudden.

 

"He popped the question this evening when we had our dinner date. It was so magical, Chae.", Dara placed her head on my shoulder as she closes her eyes and let the silent atmosphere come in.

 

As for me, the fluttering of my heart earlier instantly stopped that I can't even feel anything right now. I wanted to be happy for her as a friend, but as a lover, I am forever devastated. 

 

I was too late.

 

 

And still I can't let you be,

Most nights I hardly sleep,

Don't seek what you don't need from me.

 

 

 

"I'm happy for you, Dara", I managed to say. You have no idea how hard it was for me to form those words. 

 

I'm bleeding inside.

 

"Thanks, Chae.", I can feel her smile grow as she spoke.

 

Dara lifts her head and faced me. She cupped my cheeks and I was surprised by her action.

 

"You will be my maid of honor, okay?", she added.

 

I'm lost in her eyes. They're so tantalizing even when they are now filled with slight drunkenness and drowsiness. But my heart is still aching about the fact that I can't have her anymore. How can I be her maid of honor if all I wanted was to be the one standing next to her in front of the altar, saying our vows to each other and being with her forever?

 

I kept my façade of being that typical bestfriend who should be happy for her because I don't want her to know that I'm breaking. 

"Are you kidding? I'll be the baddest maid of honor Seoul City has ever seen.", I chuckled. Despite my cheerful tone, I felt tears beginning to sting.

 

Stay strong, Chaerin. For her.

 

 

It's just a drop in the ocean,

A change in the weather.

I was prayin' that you and me might end up together.

It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,

But I'm holding you closer than most,

'Cause you are my heaven.

 

 

 

"Omo, Chae! Why are you crying?", she starts to worry when she noticed the tears falling down on my cheeks and immediately wipes them with her thumbs.

 

"I'm just happy for you, Dara...unnie."

 

I can lie to her about my feelings. But there's no way I can escape the truth about her getting married soon. It hurts a lot more than it should be.

 

"Aww, Chae. But you don't need to cry. Let me see that smile that I always love about you.", she said.

 

Stop it, Dara. I can't help but to be in love with you more when you said these kinds of things. I can't help but to be hurt more as well because these moments will not be the same by the time you say 'I do'.

 

"Come on, Pudong-ah, smile for me.",  and I did. I decided to cherish every second I get to spend with her.

 

Her smile widened when she saw me smiling back at her. This woman is one of a kind. That guy is so lucky to call her soon as his wife.

 

"Good. There's my Baby Rin." Dara broke the silence between us. She held my left hand and continued to speak.

 

"Come, let's get back inside. It's getting colder out here."

 

After that being said, we walked inside our dorm to seek warmth.
But tonight, all I want to seek is a remedy for my broken heart.

 

 

Misplace trust in old friends

Never counting regrets

By the grace of God, I do not rest at all.

And New England as the leaves change

The last excuse that I'll claim

I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl.

 

 

 

We decided to stay up for a little bit. Dara is in my arms, all cuddled up as she keeps herself awake with the images shown on the television.
This position has been comfortable for both of us since we moved into this dorm four years ago. We became closer and knew almost everything about each other. We're also being teased by our own fans, even the staff and our fellow members, that we look like a married couple, and we just laugh at their comments. I'm actually happy inside whenever someone says so because I could pretend that she's mine in everyone's fantasy, including my own.
 

Then she met him and everything changed after they announced their relationship publicly.

 

"What are your thinking about, Chae?", she suddenly asked me.

 

"Nothing, just how you will look like on your wedding gown.", I lied.

 

"Well, what do you think I'll look?", she excitedly waited for my answer.

 

I chuckled at her reaction and I think I blushed at the moment.

 

"You'd be the most gorgeous bride in existence.", I said truthfully as I absentmindedly nuzzled her cute nose with mine. She was a little surprised but I guess she didn't mind.

 

"You're lying.", she giggled.

 

"I am not! When have I lied to you?" Just all my life. But what I just said is a hundred percent true.

 

"Hmm, I don't know, you tell me.", she said to me sarcastically.

 

I don't know when it began but we just found ourselves tickling each other and letting out loud giggles as we kept on teasing each other.

 

I don't want this night to end yet.

 

 

And still I cant let you be,

Most nights I hardly sleep,

Don't seek what you don't need from me.

 

 

 

We just lied on the couch, trying to recover after our laughing fit and tickle fight. Her hair was tossled everywhere and her pajama shirt was slightly folded up, exposing a portion of her perfectly toned abs. I tell you, she's flawless.

 

She stares at me like she's looking deeply into my soul. She suddenly blurts out,

 

 

"Chaerin-ah, if one of us was born a guy, do you think we'll end up together?"

 

 

It's just a drop in the ocean,

A change in the weather.

I was prayin' that you and me might end up together.

It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,

But I'm holding you closer than most..

 

 

 

I was dumbfounded. I gave her a puzzled look.

 

"What do you mean?", I managed to say.

 

"I don't know. Just a random thought. I always think about how everyone sees us as a married couple.", she lightly laughed.

 

"Maybe. I don't know. We do have a great chemistry.", I smirked.

 

She giggled and nodded, "Yeah, we do."

 

"If I was a guy and I courted you, would you say yes, unnie?", I ask shyly.

 

Dara lifted my chin to make me face her. I can see her eyes getting droopier than it already was. Meanwhile, my face is starting to become as red as a tomato again since our lips are only centimeters apart. You don't know how tempted I am to kiss her right now.

 

 

"I'd even say yes if you were to propose to me, my Baby Rin."

 

My heart just bounced at every wall of my chest with happiness. My Dara. But reality ruined it for me. She can never be mine now. I already lost the war even before it began.

 

Silence once again entered within our presence as Dara passed out, lying on my chest, probably taken over by exhaustion, and slight toxication.

 

My beautiful Sandara.

 

 

Cause you are my... 

Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore. no, no..

Heaven doesn't seem far away

Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore. no, no.

Heaven doesn't seem far away..

 

 

 

I fixed our position on the couch wherein both of us could be comfortable. I'm staring at her as she peacefully sleeps in my arms. I pulled her closer to me and kiss the top of her head. No words can express how much I love this woman.
 

Everyday, her presence is always with me and never once left. Every single time when I hear her voice calling my name, it's the most wonderful sound to my ears. Everything about her is perfect that I sometimes wonder if she's human. I treasure every moment with her because these moments are the only thing that can keep me sane whenever the thought of losing her cross my mind. It's hard not to think about it now, knowing that it will happen soon and I'm not ready at all. I will never be.

 

"Dara, I love you so much. I guess I'm too late. Your heart already belongs to someone else. I regret that I didn't put up a fight for your love. I was a coward. I may be the baddest female but when it comes to you, I'm scared. Scared that I could lose you anytime if I confess my feelings towards you. Remembering what you said to me before you passed out, it made me the happiest person in the world. It made me realize that maybe I stood a chance. But I guess I blew it, did I?"
 

Another set of tears are welling in my eyes and I just let it all out quietly. I touched Dara's face gently just to feel her.

 

"I didn't know when I started to fall for you. You managed to capture my heart without me knowing. I never minded it because you made me a better person. I am thankful for everything you did for me. You're my number one fan and I couldn't ask for anyone else better. You are an angel to everyone you encounter. Especially to me. I love you, Dara. I hope I could let you go soon but I think that's impossible. I already surrendered myself to you. I am yours and yours only, Sandara Park."

 

"I'll just make the most out of the remaining time of us like this until the day you get married, and that's when I'll let you go. I love you."
 

 

It took all the energy I had left in my body to kiss her lips. Although she's sleeping, fireworks still exploded in my head as I feel them on my own. That was the last thing I remember as sleep took over my system too.

 

 

A drop in the ocean,

A change in the weather.

I was prayin' that you and me might end up together.

It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert,

But im holding you closer than most, cause you are my heaven.

 

 

 

Chaerin fell in deep slumber after confessing her love for Dara. After an hour, Dara woke up, finding herself trapped within Chaerin's loving embrace. Dara smiled at how sweet her Baby Rin could be. She even dreamed of the girl confessing to her, making her heart pound uncontrollably.
 

She has been waiting for her all along but the latter never did so Dara concluded that maybe Chaerin didn't feel the same and was just naturally sweet when it comes to her.

"Aish, Chae. If only I was stronger for us, maybe we're already together for a long time now.", Dara thought.

 

"I have to teach my heart to let you go because it's for the best of both of us but always remember that I did love you, Chae. I don't think I'll ever stop but I'm letting you go. Why does it have to be this way? If you only love me back, it wouldn't be this way. I want to let you know that my love for you is strong enough to move mountains but I wasn't strong enough to tell you. I'm sorry, Chaerin."

 

At that moment, both thoughts of love were being said yet neither knew about it. Their love, though already free from the chains of their heart, is still unknown to each other's minds.
 

Dara leaned closer to kiss Chaerin, the one she's been wanting to give her ever since. She was relieved since she finally did it but the emotion shifted to the other way as she felt heartbroken with the thought that this first kiss could also be their last.

 

 

You are my heaven.

 

 

A/N: There's the first part of the story! I hope you liked it. I'll be updating the next chapter this week so just stay put. The update would be longer than this one. The featured song in the second chapter would be Gravity by Sara Bareilles. See you on the next update, readers! Don't forget to leave comments. ^^

P.S. Thanks to all who subscribed to my story. I really appreciate it. Much love!