prompt by MoonloverXD:

“your name hurts”

a/n: a bit more than 2k long but i hope you like (maybe love) angsty and sad yeoljong.

btw, i almost cried while re-reading this.. (and don't tell me i'm the only one..)

(i thought of marking this as mature content but, nah, nothing heavy happens~)

have fun!

- hanie

It started when I was absorbed in getting good grades and trying to be a good son and help out my family. I did spend time with Sungjong, but.. it wasn’t enough. I love him, but.. the amount I do didn’t reach his heart anymore.

I came home and I heard voices and I didn’t know why I was suspicious. It were just voices, so where was the big the deal? Sungjong could’ve friends over and talk to them like many other people would’ve done when they’re alone. But there was one thing I knew. Sungjong never invited someone over (I didn’t either) and he reasoned it with a shrug and “I’ve trust issues and someone I know invading my privacy is someone I’ll hate.” (It never made sense to me.)

Suddenly it got quiet and short after I heard them laughing and it sounded as if they’ve been throwing things because every here and then I heard a plop or crack. I didn’t know what to do. I thought of slamming the door shut or going out again but my mind chose the first. And, to be very honest, I was more than surprised to see a smiling Sungjong running towards me.

“SUNGYEOL!”

My eyes were big and I almost fell down backwards because of the additional weight in my arms.

“I’ve missed you!”

And I got kissed and how I’ve missed that. It felt like ages we’ve last kissed and embraced each other. “Sungjong.” I whispered and I loved the way his name rolled of my tongue. (I had loved it.)

Back then I thought it was a good thing that Sungjong missed me. But Myungsoo eyed me and how my boyfriend clutched onto me when he hugged me like his life depended on it. I should’ve known then. He never acted like this and Myungsoo made it crystal-clear.

For a few weeks it was always like this, me coming home and being greeted by my boyfriend and his friend. (Myungsoo was my friend, too, but since Sungjong and me got together he didn’t talk to me anymore.)

I pushed away all those negative thoughts about them having a thing and them hiding something from me. I wanted to think about it but every time Sungjong kissed me or looked at me it all flew away and I could only think of him. (The amount I’ve loved him always got me weak.)

After those few weeks Sungjong only greeted me with a quiet Myungsoo (what I understood because he was never talkative) but it was too quiet and a shiver ran down my spine. And that was the moment I started to ask myself what always happened when I wasn’t there with my boyfriend and his friend.

I got suspicious again, thinking about the way Myungsoo always looked at Sungjong and how the younger once told me that he liked my boyfriend a lot. I should’ve been more attentive to such things and I should’ve been there to prevent this to happen. But what was done was done.

I once came more than late home. I thought I’d have to sleep at my parents house (we were discussing things I wanted to forget), however I didn’t have to (and, to be honest, I didn’t want to either) and so I entered my, our, apartment only to be met with noises I didn’t want to hear.

Long, I tried to tell myself that they’re just friends. But they obviously weren’t and I should’ve known. Myungsoo was always there when I wasn’t, of course Sungjong would fall for that.

“A-ah.. Sungyeol..”

I shivered and had an urge to throw up. I should’ve gone into our room and stop them because Sungjong just moaned my name. But I couldn’t. Something inside of me didn’t let me. It was as if I wasn’t part of Sungjong’s life anymore and my name came out of him out of pity.

So, I silently retreated to the front door and went out, drinking with Woohyun and tried to forget everything between my endless tears and screams.

My grades went up (I was really happy) and things between my family and me were good, too. Also, my friends gave me strength. But my boyfriend, or what was left of it, that was what broke everything I tried to built up and make us have a nice life.

I only did that for us. Sungjong insisted on me staying in college and then doing what I wanted while he worked and stayed home.

I should’ve said no, I should’ve stayed home a