Hongbin didn’t want to worry anyone.

He knew that the rest of the group must have noticed. His hands shook, he fidgeted a lot, and he would often drop his head when faced with a large crowd. Every time anyone asked him about it, Hongbin would just blame some nerves, or even the weather. Everyone would usually just give him pointers on helping with nerves, or even just toss him a jacket if he said he was cold. He was sure that everyone had noticed his hands shaking.

It was a bit more complicated than that.

Hongbin’s anxieties had always been a source of discomfort. It didn’t matter if he’d done something a thousand times – if he was faced with it, he would immediately drop into worries, and his mind would go crazy.

What would happen if he said the wrong thing?

What would happen if he forgot the steps to the dance while they were performing?

What would happen if their van flipped over on the way to the dorm?

What would happen if the rest of the group actually hated him?

Often he found excuses to stay in his room, and whenever he was forced to go out he would get home exhausted, mentally and physically. It didn’t bother him on stage because the lights would drown out the crowd.

Yes, he was getting better at playing it off, but it was still hard.

That was the main reason that he was glad their manager would keep them updated on how many fans were around. Before any event, there would be an update on if it was crowded or not. No one knew how much that little bit of information really meant to Hongbin. It gave him a chance to brace himself, to figure out how he was going to get through the group of people he was facing.

Holding the strap on his bag tightly, he tossed it over his shoulder and slipped out of the plane with a sigh, following last behind Wonsik as they walked. They had been told that there weren’t many people here, so Hongbin wasn’t too worried, and he smiled as he glanced between the men ahead of him. Hakyeon and Jaehwan were talking loudly about something in front, followed closely by Taekwoon and Hyuk. Wonsik was busy on his phone, not paying attention to much of anything other than whatever he was typing on it. Hongbin just smiled at him, about to open his mouth to speak when they walked into the terminal and were faced with more than the few people that were originally supposed to be there.

Even Wonsik looked up in something akin to shock as the screams blocked out the music he’d been listening to, and Hongbin almost froze.

He didn’t like being trapped in large crowds like this, and within moments that was exactly what was happening, their manager trying to keep the fans away from them and mostly failing. Swallowing deeply, Hongbin grabbed onto the hem of Wonsik’s jacket, noticing the little nod from the other man when he felt the tug.

They were all trying to keep smiling, to make the fans feel welcome, but it was quickly becoming overbearing. What if one of them grabbed him? What if they got separated? What if one of them got hurt?

When the questions started, Hongbin immediately felt his face heat up and he looked down, attempting to swallow but quickly finding his throat felt dry. His hands were shaking, and his grip tightened on Wonsik’s coat as his steps wobbled slightly.

What if they missed their schedule?

Hongbin felt his breath catch in his throat and he had to drop his head, eyes closed and following Wonsik by his grip on his jacket alone. He could feel himself starting to sweat.

He had been doing so well at not letting this get to him, but it had never been this bad. They were getting pushed, prodded, touched – Hongbin didn’t know how much more of it he would be able to take. Glancing to his side, he tried to offer a fan a smile, but it didn’t do much to change the fact that they were nearly getting walked on, and Hongbin clenched his fist tightly as his breaths sped up.

He was sweating, but his body felt chilled. His breathing was shallow and quick and at the same time it felt like he wasn’t getting any air. His vision was swimming in front of him and he had to bite his lip to keep himself focused and clinging to Wonsik.

What if they left him?

That was the thought that caused Hongbin to let go of Wonsik’s jacket as he stopped in his tracks and was nearly knocked over. He felt like he was going to vomit, and all that was happening were fans continuing to scream, take photos, and try to touch him. His entire body was trembling.

Though it wasn’t immediate, when Wonsik noticed the lack of tension on his coat he turned, looking around for Hongbin and finally seeing him as he all but collapsed to his knees. Eyes wide, Wonsik took in a quick breath, trying to be calm as he pushed through the fans separating Hongbin from himself.

“Excuse me,” he said loudly, Hyuk turning around when he heard Wonsik’s voice over the crowd. Wonsik didn’t get far, the girls closest to Hongbin almost refusing to move until Wonsik spoke again, more urgent this time. “Get out of the way!”

At that a few of the girls in front of him moved, Wonsik dropping to the floor as he got close enough to Hongbin to speak. He reached out, both hands holding Hongbin’s cheeks as he lifted the other man’s head.

“Hongbin, are you okay?” he asked, though Hongbin just stared at him, tears streaming down his cheeks and a panicked look on his face. He was still biting his lip, air barely being taken in as he took shallow gasps. “Hongbin, answer me. Move back!” Wonsik shouted, turning to the crowd behind him and scaring a couple. They didn’t move, though, and he saw a few more taking pictures.

Wonsik could feel how clammy Hongbin was, how shaky he was, and he had no idea what to do. Everything he said felt like it was delayed, Hongbin barely even responding to his words and motions. The other man looked like he had completely zoned out, eyes glassy as he tried to breathe and mostly failed for air, breaths coming out in jagged gasps. He could hear the shouts of their manager over the crowd, Hakyeon and Jaehwan’s voices also echoing over everyone. Wonsik just looked back to Hongbin, keeping eye contact even as Hongbin’s eyes almost closed. Hongbin reached up, hand gripping Wonsik’s wrist shakily.

“Hongbin, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to move you?” he asked, and Hongbin shook his head, breathing only getting more rushed as someone tried to touch his hair. “Do you want me to do something else? Talk to me. Don’t close your eyes, Hongbin.”

“I-I feel like I’m about to pass out,” Hongbin said softly, words wavering and barely there as his grip on Wonsik’s wrist tightened.

“Don’t pass out,” Wonsik said, leaning closer and resting his forehead against Hongbin’s. The other man was shivering, and Wonsik was at a loss of what to do. It was like everyone around them was moving in complete slow motion, and Wonsik needed this crowd to get away from them.

When he felt Hongbin’s grip loosen and he went limp Wonsik’s entire body stiffened, Hongbin collapsing onto him just as his manager and Hakyeon pushed through to them.

“What happened?” Hakyeon screamed, panic in his eyes as his manager worked with a few of the police officers that had run up to help. Wonsik’s eyes wide, he held Hongbin close.

“Hongbin just passed out, I… I don’t know what to do,” Wonsik sputtered, Hakyeon clearly at a loss as well. He looked around, keeping the few remaining people in the crowd from them as Taekwoon helped.

“Pick him up and get him to the van,” Hakyeon said, Wonsik already in the process of picking up Hongbin and curling one arm under his knees and cradling his back with the other. Hongbin’s head dropped onto Wonsik’s shoulder limply, an officer following them as they moved. Wonsik didn’t even care about his bags – someone would grab them for him.

All he cared about was Hongbin in his arms and getting him into the van and safe.

They were the first ones in and Wonsik immediately got into the backseat, setting Hongbin down before he sat himself, then lifting his head.

“Hongbin. Hongbin, talk to me, c’mon…” he mumbled, massaging the back of his neck to try to get him to wake up. It wasn’t working, and Wonsik leaned his forehead against Hongbin’s once more, one hand on the other man’s chest to make sure he was breathing. He was, and Wonsik let out a sigh of relief as he closed his eyes.

It wasn’t until everyone else got into the van that Wonsik pulled away, brows furrowed as everyone fired questions at him. Wonsik couldn’t even follow them, and eventually Hakyeon held up his hand, effectively silencing everyone as he looked to Wonsik.

“Is he okay?” he asked, and Wonsik looked at Hongbin before he turned back to Hakyeon. “What happened?”

“I don’t know, he just… He just freaked out and then passed out. He was holding onto my jacket and then he wasn’t.” Hakyeon nodded, about to open his mouth to speak when Hongbin moved shakily. Immediately Wonsik turned to him, one hand on his cheek as Hongbin opened his eyes slightly. “Hongbin, are you all here? Are you okay?” he asked, concern in his tone as the others all watched on.

It took Hongbin a moment to grasp where he was, and he looked around in confusion as his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting of the van. His eyes connected with Wonsik’s and he stared at him for a second, taking in a few shallow but calming breaths before reaching out and wrapping both of his arms around Wonsik’s shoulders. Wonsik just blinked at him, looking to Hongbin in surprise before he hesitantly wrapped his arms around Hongbin as well. He glanced to Hakyeon, eyes wide as he looked to him in confusion. Hakyeon nodded.

“Hongbin, do you want to go to the hospital?” he asked, Hongbin shaking his head against Wonsik’s neck. “Do you just want to go home?” At that Hongbin nodded, the driver having heard and focusing on getting them back as quickly as he could.

Hongbin spent the entire ride holding onto Wonsik, Wonsik talking to him in hushed tones as he ran his fingers as soothingly as he could through his hair. He had never seen Hongbin act like that, and he didn’t want to see it happen again. When they got to the dorm Wonsik let everyone out first, helping Hongbin out and letting him walk, though he supported most of his weight as they moved.

Wonsik led Hongbin directly to his bed, setting him down and watching as he curled up into a little under the covers. He let out a worried sigh, brows furrowed before he walked off and opened the door a bit. Hakyeon walked up, staying close so that he could talk quietly.

“Is he okay?” he asked, and Wonsik glanced back at Hongbin for a moment before turning back to Hakyeon and nodding.

“I think so. But I’m going to stay in here to make sure.” Nodding in understanding, Hakyeon looked around Wonsik and to Hongbin, who hadn’t moved. Then he looked back to Wonsik, still nodding as he reached up and patted Wonsik’s shoulder.

“Take care of him,” he said softly, Wonsik offering him a little smile in response before he closed the door and walked over to the bed.

He had never seen Hongbin look so frail and scared in his life. He knew that Hongbin was shy, but to see him collapse under the pressure like he had was something that he never wanted to see again. Letting out a shaky sigh, Wonsik laid down next to Hongbin, keeping far enough away so that the other man could have space.

Wonsik just wanted to make sure that Hongbin was alright.

The two fell asleep not too long after, Wonsik fighting it for as long as he could before he closed his eyes and zoned out.

When Hongbin opened his eyes he looked around, honestly not remembering having been moved at all. By the time he grasped where he was he had flipped around, noticing Wonsik beside him and smiling softly. He reached out, one hand on Wonsik’s cheek as the other furrowed his brows and woke through a startled snore.

“Wonsik, you can go to sleep in your own bed if you want,” Hongbin croaked out, Wonsik turning onto his side and eyes barely open as he settled in his new position.

“I want to make sure you’re okay,” he mumbled, voice raspy from sleep as he looked Hongbin over. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I… I have really bad anxiety,” he replied, voice barely a whisper as he spoke. “I didn’t want to make you guys worry, so I didn’t say anything.” Wonsik furrowed his brows in response, reaching over to push Hongbin’s hair from his face.

“Why? We could have helped sooner,” he said, Hongbin staring at him in silence. He didn’t know how to respond to it so he just nodded, looking down before Wonsik shook his head and lifted his chin again. “You really freaked me out back there, I didn’t know what to do.”

Hongbin stared at him for a long time, Wonsik still only barely awake as Hongbin looked at him. There was a long silence before Hongbin leaned forward, forehead resting against Wonsik’s as he closed his eyes.

“Thank you,” he murmured, relaxing in the closeness for a moment before he looked up and caught Wonsik’s gaze. He looked so worried, so tired, so concerned, and Hongbin leaned forward to kiss him.

A lot of words were spoken through the silence of that kiss, and Hongbin honestly didn’t know what to say. He was thankful, he was relieved, he was scared, and he felt cared for. Wonsik was lying in his bed making sure that he was feeling better, and Hongbin couldn’t ask for more.

Nothing deepened, the kiss didn’t move, and it wasn’t uncomfortable. After a moment Hongbin pulled back, swallowing deeply as he opened his eyes.

“Thank you for being there for me,” he added, Wonsik slowly opening his eyes as he looked at Hongbin.

Another silence fell between them, only being broken by Wonsik leaning forward a few moments later, lips connecting softly with Hongbin’s for only a moment before he pulled back and smiled, body shifting just a bit closer.

“You’re welcome,” he replied softly, watching as Hongbin smiled to himself and flipped over so that he was on his side, back facing Wonsik. For a moment he just stayed there, not moving at all, but eventually Wonsik sighed, arms wrapping around Hongbin loosely as he held him close. Hongbin opened his eyes, shifting a bit and about to turn to ask him what he was doing when Wonsik answered for him. “I’ll keep you safe. Just stay by me and I’ll make sure you’re always safe,” he mumbled, and Hongbin bit his lip as he threatened to tear up. Instead he let one of his hands curl around Wonsik’s arm, eyes closing as he nodded in understanding.

He could do this.

No, Wonsik being there wouldn’t solve the problem, but knowing that he was there would certainly help, and Hongbin was sure that he meant what he said. Wonsik would be able to help. If he had been able to handle Hongbin today, Hongbin had no doubt that he would be there for him again if he needed it.

Hongbin’s sleep might have been restless at first, but with Wonsik holding him like he was, he managed to doze off.

He felt safe.