N/A: And, like almost two years later, the final part!! 

Part 4: 

The truth is... Donghae doesn't know how to live without Hyukjae.

After the show Hyuk gave, people started whispering things, staring and pointing at Donghae, speculating about what could have happened between the two friends but one thing seemed common, after the song, they all believed it was Donghae's fault and for the first time, he felt not wanted. It was an oppressive feeling, knowing he was suddenly being judged, it was a position he had never been in. He had had power and now he had nothing. So he did the cowardly thing and left the place. He didn't care about leaving Jessica without a date or that probably he was just making things worst by running away but he was frightened, he was confused, he was hurt, he felt guilty and the weight that had settled on his chest kept sinking more and more, making it difficult for him to breathe.

As he stumbled inside his house, he made an effort to be quiet and not wake up his parents because he honestly couldn't handle seeing them right now. He slipped on his room and locked it behind him, leaning on the door. His mouth was firmly shut, knowing that if he opened it by just a little, he would start sobbing and the whole point was to not make noise. Still, he couldn't quite stop the tears that slid down his face. He had screwed it up. His friendship with Hyukjae was now completely ruined. The boy knew what Donghae had been doing, knew he had been playing him and he had retailated. Part of him was deeply surprised that he had wrote a song about it, sang it on this public event and had revealed for everyone what he had done. It's not that he didn't deserve but he was still surprised Hyuk had done at all.

The other thing that had surprised him too was the revelation that he was in love with Hyukjae. How didn't he notice it? It had been so natural, it had happened on such a quiet moment that he hadn't noticed the shift on their relationship. And it made him feel stupid because his main protest had been that he didn't want things changing between him and Hyuk but it had already happened. Ever since the kiss, since the confession, Donghae had looked at Hyuk in a new light. And he hadn't realized what that was, he had believed that only because Hyuk felt different, it didn't mean he did and it was bull. That was the reason he liked seeing him jealous, why he leaned into his touches, why he had wanted to kill Siwon when he found them on that classroom alone.

"This is so messed up..." he mumbled to himself. Crying had tired him out and he undressed, not really caring about the tux he was wearing and put on his pajama pants, entering his bed and covering himself till the head, hugging his pillow closer.

Tomorrow was going to be long day.

The truth is... Hyukjae had never been a day without Donghae.

His earliest memory it's of the day he got to the kindergarden by the hand of his mom. He was scared, he knew how to make friends, it wasn't that what scared him, others kids weren't frightening but he was scared of not seeing his mom if she left him in here. So he cried and cried, clinging to her hand and refusing to even considering letting her go. But then she told him his friend Donghae was here too and he had looked up surprised, looking for the sight of the boy he always played with and smiling brightly when he spotted him also coming with his dad. Hyuk had jumped and cheered just like Donghae and he had hugged the boy as soon as he was near. After that, it was easier to let his mom go, he was sure that Donghae would make him company till she came back. He felt safe. Ironic how things were now.

Even though Siwon's intentions had been nice, after crying so much, he had decided to simply go home, not in the mood of endure the staring or whispering of the people inside. He vaguely wondered what Donghae was doing, maybe he had brushed the song off and was making out with Jessica, maybe he was angry with Hyuk for daring to humilliate him in this way. He didn't know and his head hurt just by thinking about it. So he decided that he wouldn't, he just went home, changed his clothes, took a long warm shower then went directly to sleep. No more overthinking. 

The next morning, his head hurt even more so he took a painkiller, claiming with his mother that he loud music of yesterday had provoked him a headache. She didn't make questions, it wasn't typical of her to just doubt her son and soon she was preparing breakfast, easily talking with his sister Sora of random things with Hyuk not paying them attention, simply focused on his food. That is, until he heard Donghae's name being mentioned.

"It's so weird Hae isn't here yet. He usually bounces his way in as soon as my pancakes are ready" joked his mom, sharing a smile with Sora, none of them noticing the sudden way Hyukjae had tensed up and the boy desesperatedly looked for an excuse to give but he was blank. It was true, Hae was always here when he wasn't in his home, his parents weren't around that much and he hated being lonely so it had become kinda a tradition to have him for breakfast every morning, wether it is a week day or a weekend. They were glued to the hip. And now they wouldn't anymore.

Hyuk didn't even know what was going to happen now. Before, he had been sure that he didn't wanna stay quiet, that he wanted to at least hurt Donghae one tiny bit of what he had hurt him, to show him how it felt to play with your emotions for your amusement in everyone's sight. But now... he hadn't planned what he would do afterwards. If he closed his eyes, he could still see the wide, shocked, hurt eyes of his best friend. And he felt petty. He had been so concentrated on his own hurt, on taking retribution that he hadn't know how it would effect Donghae. And in theory, he shouldn't care, right? But years of being his friend, of caring for him, of loving him silently... , he had screwed it up. Becaus