Leo pensively stared at a cup of coffee that had cooled down before him. It had been an hour and he's sure the coffee had gone cold long ago. Just like the coffee, his heart also had turned into a cold heart. He felt numb. That came to his mind was only the last words of Hyejung.

 

"We are through.."

"Huh?? What??" Leo stared at Hyejung in disbelief, did not believe what he had just heard.

"I want to break up with you and I'm serious, Leo." Hyejung stared right back at him and sighed deeply.

"But why?? What did I do??"

"... Nothing.."

 

Leo just couldn't believe this.

 

"So?? Why do you want to break up with me if I didn't do anything wrong to you, Hyejung??" Leo raised one his eyebrow as he felt so confused about this whole break up thing.

"I'm bored, Leo. I feel like I'm not going anywhere with you. I wanted a change but you didn't give me any."

"Change? What kind of change?? Do we need to?? We were okay, Hyejung. I don't understand-"

"You don't understand and you never will. That's why I'm breaking up on you. Goodbye, Leo."

Hyejung slammed a ring on the table and walked away. It was his gift for her 21th birthday, 7 months ago.

 

Leo just sat still, staring at the ring infront of him. It was pretty expensive remembering he was just a college student. He remembered he saved up his salary just for buying a ring for Hyejung's 20th birthday. 

And now it didn't mean anything to her anymore, she gave it back to him as if it's just a trash.

 

He watched her back walking out the coffee shop. It's slowly fading away. Not only walked out from that place, but also walked out from his life.

Forever.

 

From afar, he could see a guy whom he had never seen before waiting for her outside the coffee shop. That guy smiled at her and wrapped his arms around her perfect slim body. She smiled back and hugged him as tightly.

 

Leo could feel his heart squeezed so hard, it caused him to forget how to breath properly. Hyejung had moved on. He could see that clearly now.

The girl, that once had been colored his dull and useless life, that he loved the most, is now loved by another guy.

 

He let out a chuckle that was reffering to himself. A bitter laugh. It wasn't a laugh that happened when he heard something funny, or when he felt excited and happy. That laughter was more like a pity that he addressed to himself.

 

Sad. Hurt. If he could name all the ugly feelings in the world, he would.

Only that words could define his condition right now.

 

Leo thought his condition was really ironic. Because exactly on this day, in this place, he met Hyejung three years ago. And he did not know that on this day also, she successfully broke his heart into pieces. All this time, he thought that they were okay, because she never once mentioned about this problem before. This was the first time Leo heard "wanted a change" from the mouth of Hyejung. And he still could not believe she ended their relationship just like that. Life is full of surprise, surely.

 

A year ago, at this coffee shop, Leo and Hyejung met for the first time. The same spot, right next to the window leading to the highway.

 

Leo looked at the girl who was sitting right in front of the table. The girl was sipping hot coffee just like him. Somehow she attracted his attention. With a red scarf wrapped around her neck, she looked so warm. No wonder, because winter was going to approach soon and the weather was kind of cold. 

Leo thought she was a very sweet girl that unconsciously he kept staring at him. He was shocked when she lifted her head, but not a strange look that the girl was showing to him, instead a small smile escaping from her thin lips. Without realizing Leo face flushed red and what he could do was just bowing his head in shame.

 

The memory about that beautiful moment was still remained neatly in his mind and heart. It seemed like only yesterday they were laughing together and throwing jokes to each other, feeling genuinely happy.

But one thing that he learned today... Nothing lasts forever. Sense of love defeated by sense of ego.

 

Leo leaned back on his chair and stared out the window. He saw a lot of people passing by, all with their own activities. He remembered that this was one of Hyejung's favorite activities while staying in this coffee shop. Pay attention to people passing by outside. She said it was fun because everyone doing different things, but strangely at the same time.

Some of them were walking alone with earphones attached to their ears, some were walking along either with a friend or a lover. Hyejung once said that it was very funny because everyone doing different activities and we did not know if today, was a happy day or bad day for them. That's Hyejung, even the smallest things, she still thought about the details. Ordinary people may had never thought of it, because they were too busy with themselves not caring for other people's feelings.

For other people, why bother to think about someone's day when they have their own days to bother about. But Hyejung didn't think that way. She concerned with her surroundings. And this was the reason why Leo fell in love with her. It was an ugly feeling for him at first, because he was never a good guy to begin with. He had anti-social as his number one trait and he hated that. But Hyejung never complained, she accepted Leo as for who he was. Before.

And now, he was trapped inside her cage and difficult to break free.

 

But today he was free.. He had freedom. Or rather, one-sided kind of freedom.

Leo had been released by Hyejung even though he did not want. He hoped that she would never release him from her trap. But everything had already happened. What could he said? Or do? Hyejung was no longer the love of his life.

 

"Hyejung... Why are you doing this to me?!"

 

Leo buried his face deep in his both hands with a long groan. Everyone around him directly looked at him, staring at him with a strange look. But he didn't care. The opinions from people around him was not important anymore. The most important thing for him now was, how to get out from this unpleasant situation. From this nightmare. Hyejung was everything to him and he didn't know how to continue his life after she left.

 

Leo took his phone from his pocket jeans. Hyejung's smiling face clearly displayed on the screen of his phone. Leo now resided in pain. He never thought before that he had to replace his phone wallpaper with another picture, not her. The more he looked at her face, the more painful he felt. 

It's as if there was a large stone lodged in his chest. 

His eyes began to burn and he knew that the fluid wanted to get out so badly from his eyes. Leo much as possible didn't want to cry. He didn't want to cry because that meant Hyejung had won the game.

 

Suddenly he saw a small hand clutching a tissue in front of him. Leo looked up and what he saw? A little boy was looking at him with a grin, showing clearly the front teeth that was missing.

"This is for you." The little boy put the tissue in Leo's hands. "My dad said, boys can cry too, sometimes. Crying doesn't mean that we are a crybaby, right?"

Leo stared at him with disbelief but also amazed. This little kid advising Leo who much older than him as if he understood what Leo's problem is. 

Leo smiled a little and the little boy's head as if he said thank you. With that, the boy smiled and ran back to his mother.

 

The words of the boy made him realized that there was no harm for a big man like him to cry. After all, he's also a human being who have feelings. Born as a boy didn't mean he should look strong all the time. 

He looked deep into the tissue that he got from the boy and he put it over his both eyes. His tears flowed on the surface of the tissue. Although it's only one or two drops but the sense of relief he felt was no joke. As if the large stone which had been located in his chest now been eroded little by little. It's not gone completely but didn't mean it could not disappear at all.

Leo grabbed his phone that was on the table. With confidence he opened Hyejung's picture. Deleted. 

Now his phone screen looked empty without any wallpaper but he didn't feel bad. Leo realized that it was about time to move on. It might be difficult and would take a lot of effort, but he believed he'd get through it. He didn't want to get too drown in grief, he didn't want to stand in the same place, he should move forward without looking backward.

"Past is the past, now let's see what will the future bring for me."

With that, Leo rose from his chair. Didn't forget to bring the precious tissue with him, he walked out of the coffee shop that was full of memories.

 

It's time to search for a new coffee shop.