Ten Ways Of Courting Brat Luhan - A Guide By Oh Sehun ft. Troublemakers eunhae

Sehun, in his majorelle blue ankle trousers and baby blue and white-checkered formal attire, jumps over uneven surfaces of the ground as he charges full speed towards a certain busybody, pelting down his university lane in hopes of reaching to Luhan in time. His small leather backpack thuds rhythmically against his lean back, and the sound of books and pens jittering announces his arrival for the redhead, whom is — as usual — crowded by his three brothers. Despite this stance, early in the morning (it is nine but to Sehun that is early), the tall lanky boy waves his arms high above his head, eager to consume even a tiny drop of attention from Luhan.

“Luhan! Luhan! Hyung!” His voice drowns and dwindles out amongst the chants of many others; like a breath blowing with a breeze. He tries harder, seeing the said boy completely dismiss the calls and strut in the opposite direction, his crowd immediately following like lost sheep. The fan girls (and a few boys) miraculously manage to change direction along with the boy, making Sehun grit his teeth and whine internally, seeing how hard it is to get through the bodies of people to meet his crush. But then again, it is his choice to pursue the flower boy of their university, so he can't complain when he sees waves of people surrounding Luhan.

Sehun knows the elder heard his lame calls, for after observing the shorter for so long he just knows the little things someone like Luhan would pull off. Cocky as usual, huh, Sehun thought, just wait until I get my hands on you. Immediately afterwards, like a complete change of personality, Sehun scolds himself mentally on acquiring thoughts so vile. Even from far away, Sehun is able to see the turn of his beloved deer’s head, in an attempt to hide his growing smirk from the burgundy pink haired boy.

Finally, the younger of the two reaches the non-stopping boy, whom is still heavily guarded. Somehow, he easily squeezes past slick bodies, in the dead summer heat, groping his way to the centre, Luhan. He feels the wave of people push him back out, but with determination he parts the sea with the possessed elegance he owns and soon his long legs take him to the bodyguards of Luhan. They make eye contact, and a second later, the bodyguard — Minseok, a.k.a one of the three brothers Luhan is related to — whispers into the small shell of the red haired tyke’s earlobe. Sehun is just able to catch Luhan’s mischievous glint in his brown orbs before he drifts further and further away due to the crowd pushing.

However, Luhan follows Sehun and ambles forward until he is in front of the said boy; the crowd splitting to form a clear pathway.

It is the gentle smile adorning the elder’s lips that reminds Sehun why he is crushing on Luhan all over again. Sehun watches the strides of the petit male consume the remaining distance between the two of them, and he observes the way the wine red locks bounce in the wind with the steps, framing the slim and small baby face the other possesses. There is a twinkle in Luhan's eyes that make them look so dark and wet and shiny; so prepossessing and sparkling with charm. And oh sweet baby Jesus, don’t even get Sehun started on that devious pink tongue of Luhan's, when the other’s lips become so chapped and dry that the little muscle pokes out and patrols the area of those soft lips, moist flooding the rouge tinge. Little things Luhan do drive Sehun insane with want, need, and man’s carnal desire. If anyone asks what love feels like, then Sehun can pretty much relate to the spring breeze caressing his heart whenever he catches a glimpse of the deer-like boy glowing with innocence; or the passionate fire consummating every inch of his cells when mischievousness sparks in Luhan's nature.

“Sehunnie?”

The angelic boy murmurs in a soft tone, his voice melodic to the ears of the public; and the way Luhan spoke his nickname gives Sehun a pleasant rumble up his spine, offering one more reason to make his stomach flutter like a wave of butterflies passing by. Oh gosh he called me Sehunnie how adorable is that? I just want to squish him and plant kisses all over him. Some people find it weird that Luhan doesn't quite match his age, always behaving like a little boy, but Sehun likes all of Luhan; even his childish and sometimes unreasonable side.

As Sehun is about to reply, he embarrasses himself by choking on his own spit (how is that even possible? And really, now of all times?) whilst uttering Luhan’s precious name.

“I!- Luhan- I, um- oh God- you- me. Ahh, uh, notieth me thsenpai!” Is the first thing that comes to his mind, so Sehun blurts out with a heavy lisp. Colour drains from the pink haired boy’s face as soon as he utters out those words, momentarily hating his hobby of reading a lot of shoujo nonsensical manga.

Luhan doesn’t bother hiding his freaked out face (which Sehun still think is adorable), and his brown orbs flicker left and right, brain thwacking for a polite reply to whatever he just heard from Sehun. In the end, Sehun watches with a lingering pout as Luhan releases a few awkward chortles, brushing off the matter easily as his three brothers place a barricade of arms and brings Luhan away into the building.

At least, some people had sympathetic looks and gave Sehun thumbs up.

•••

“So, what’s the big deal?” Hyukjae recounts nonchalantly, but the smirk on his lips and the smugness in his voice leaves Sehun wondering if he honestly is here to ‘talk’ and is that my bubble tea he’s drinking from? He sighs as he confiscates his own tapioca pearled drink from the territory of his best friend, kind of used to the action but still annoyed. Or maybe he’s bugged from the earlier event; a perfect opportunity to talk to Luhan properly but he messed it up (just like the previous attempts at conversing like a normal human being when it comes to his crush).

“Yesth, now mock me like you would usually do. Tell me how thstupid I am, to losthe a brilliant chancthe to happinesth. Tell me what an asthwipe I’ve been and tell me how much Luhan will never sthee my handthome image.” Sehun whines, his lisp coming out at full speed. He throws his face onto his palms roughly as he sobs rather dramatically. Hyukjae rolls his eyes, mildly wondering what he’s having for dinner tonight, (maybe he should leech off on Donghae's abundant supply of kimchi ramyun and stay over for the night) but he is also fretting over Sehun's case.

Hyukjae huffs, mind traipsing over his own personal mileage of love, and discover that his experience is no better than Sehun's current predicament. Ruffling his camel shaded hair, Hyukjae tries to recall his past girlfriends and one boyfriend he had (he’s biual if that’s the only thing he learns from past flings and exes), but those memories are wielded together like glass; all seeming bland and concordant for anything specific to pop up.

“I’m sure you’ve learnt from this mistake, right? Just relax your nerves before you go to Luhan, and please control you lisp. It’s getting worse whenever your Luhannie is mentioned. But then again, knowing you, you’ll probably still do the same thing given another chance.”

Sehun's mop of rosa pink hair shoots up as he glares indignantly and rather childishly at Hyukjae, retorting with a mere sthut up! A second later his lips stretch to on the thick red straw of his bubble tea.  The sweet taste greets his taste buds once more, but the bitter heaviness of despair still lumps in his stomach. Somehow, the mixed emotion the boy feels is converting the sweetness of the drink into something too sickly, making Sehun feel nauseous instead. Hyukjae seem to realise the turn of events, and pulls his plastic chair closer to the younger…maybe he shouldn't have teased the other so much.

“You sthink it’sth easthy to control my listhp? Thometimes I can’t help it.” A pout.

Oh dear lord. (Sehun will be the death of Hyukjae; the other is Donghae).

“Where is Donghae when I need him?” Hyukjae mutters to himself under his breath; wanting desperately for the younger to come to his rescue and comfort Sehun because he's terrible with tears, but the person of his concern hears it anyway.

“Hyung is busthy finishing off histh coursthework, remember?” Sehun butts into the elder’s thoughts, sniffing now and then and Hyukjae sees the glistening shininess of the former’s eyes. Is he so hurt and upset over such a trivial thing that he's crying?

“Sehunnie, don't be too upset. It's not like you…uh, I don't know, ran into him or something. You have plenty of other opportunities to make up this time. Don’t give up now.” Hyukjae tries his best and pats his friend on the shoulder. Despite his age, Sehun is often spoilt and behaves immaturely. Although, Hyukjae supposes that's what makes him such an interesting person and definitely a friend to make.

The elder sees Sehun drying his tears on his sleeves, and it is then he realises that perhaps it is beyond a crush if this is how Sehun is acting, but, he may be wrong and he should leave it to the younger to find out for himself.

Yet, he would be a bad friend as to offer the other no help whatsoever.

“Hey, Sehunnie, want me to advise you and give you a few tips on courting obnoxious brats?” Hyukjae wiggles his eyebrows.

“Yah! Luhan isth not obnoxiousth in any form!” Sehun reprimands. But, a second later, he nods with acquiesce, because really, deep down in his gut, he knows he going to require all the help he can get.

Because, let's face it, Luhan is an obnoxious brat.

•••

1. Cheesy pickup lines (suggested by Hyukjae)

The next time Sehun sees Luhan, he doesn't embarrass himself and actually speaks. Although, maybe it's better to not speak now that he thought about it.

“My doctor thsaid I'm lacking vitamin U.” Sehun blurts out during their break time, when — surprisingly — none of Luhan’s over-protective brothers are present. He had walked over to Luhan’s table and recited some pickup lines he learnt from Hyukjae.

However, it's either that Luhan is okaymaybeslightlybutonlyatinybit dumb or that he's pretending to not understand, because the elder finishes chewing his forkful of strawberry cake and replies innocently, “Eh? Really? I advise you to buy some from the pharmacy’s.”

Sehun blinks. Luhan blinks.

Awkward silence fills the air.

Sehun blushes and bee-lines out of the hall, not catching the cheeky grin on Luhan’s face that appears the second he’s gone.

He comes back later that day, and throughout the rest of the afternoon he tells more stupid pickup lines. No doubt, learnt from his stupid best friend Hyukjae. Luhan seems to have a way of combating his verbal attacks each time; and, it only leaves a more frustrated Sehun behind. (Surprisingly, Sehun manages to get his lisp under some control — ahem, occasionally).

“Can I follow you home? Because my parentsth told me to follow my dream.”

“Um, isn't that a bit stalker-ish?” Luhan ponders out loud.

Okay, Sehun can try another one.

“If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber.”

“But I prefer broccoli though?”

“Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling!”

Luhan looks down at his body then looks up to Sehun, speaking like a child. “No, I'm pretty sure I'm human. And I hope that isn't an euphemism for my .”

“Are you from Tennessthee becausthe you're the only ten I thsee!” (Okay, so his lisp is leaking a tiny here. No worries though.)

Luhan pouts adorably before giggling his head off. Sehun’s heart trembles violently seeing how cute the elder is. “No Sehun! I'm from China and I'm not ten, I'm twenty two silly!”

Sehun vaguely catches Jongin, Luhan’s other brother (aside from Minseok and Yixing) trying to keep in his laughter. If he thinks Sehun will stop there then he’s dead wrong.

“I know milk doesth a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?”

“I've stopped drinking milk years ago because I'm found to be lactose intolerant.” Luhan creases his forehead, thinking hard. Sehun mentally face-palms, and plans the death of his friend Hyukjae in his mind whilst he’s at it.

“Are you a cat? Becausthe you are purrrrrfect.” Sehun rumbles his tonsils.

“Oh cool! I can’t do that. Do it again!” Luhan laughs joyously as Sehun — for ten whole minutes — pretends he's a cat. It's worth it though when he sees the blinding smile in return, despite the ache in his throat or the fact that Sehun had no vocal chords left by the end of the day.

Yet, Sehun’s determination to win the boy’s heart doesn't stop there.

“People call me Sthehun, but you can call me tonight.”

“Sthehun?” Luhan mimics his lisp innocently.

“I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!”

Luhan shakes his head. “I don't, but don’t worry, Jongin knows!” Sehun looks over to where Jongin stands — a fairly big distance away — but on hearing his own name Jongin smirks and waves jokingly at Sehun. The boy with bubble-gum  coloured hair swallows the dryness in his throat and laughs awkwardly.

“I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreamsth come true.”

“Really? Then I want see a unicorn right now! Can you make that happen?”

“Uh…well…” Sehun scratches his head considering the request.

“Can you? Can you?” Luhan jumps up and down excitedly, clasping his pale and slim fingers together with a hopeful look.

“Well, that isth a bit tricky thsince—” Before Sehun could finish his sentence and immediately apologise and ask for Luhan’s forgiveness, the elder cut him off.

“Forget it! Sehunnie is a liar! Goodbye, humph!” Luhan spins on his heels and storms away, his three brothers following closely behind.

•••

“It doesthn't work, hyung! You lied to me!” Sehun glares daggers into Hyukjae’s soul as he stomps into the hall, going over to their normal table. Instantly, Hyukjae knows what the other is talking about.

“At least your lisp is getting better!” Hyukjae tries to argue weakly.

Sehun’s about to strangle the said male when Donghae hyung came to the rescue. Hyukjae sees his saviour and clings tightly onto his other best friend, hiding behind the brunet’s body (because he knows Sehun likes Donghae too much to harm him, unlike himself who's always the target of abuse for both (tch, and he's the oldest out of the three of them as well)).

“Hyung! You finished your coursthework?” Sehun changes his mood a hundred and eighty degrees, and has this eager puppy face look as he shoots up; unwraps Hyukjae’s arms from Donghae's waist and wraps Donghae’s arms around himself instead. Perks of being the maknae in the group. They act as if they are not in the hall during lunchtime, ignoring the commotion everywhere.

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