“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr., A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches

C H A P T E R   1

       “Can you explain to me what the Hell is happening right now?” Sehun hissed quietly as he glanced at Joonmyun beside him. They had just reached Sehun’s hometown a few minutes ago and apparently, they were walking towards Sehun’s old house which was swarming with villagers. Sehun couldn’t do anything but to keep his head bow and ignore the looks people were giving him as he walked through the small crowd. Some of them were staring at him questionably and some were flashing filthy looks.

       Who wouldn’t when Oh Sehun, the intolerable kid with silly mouth and equally discourteous behavior, was coming back after years of peacefulness in the countryside? It was a total nightmare!  

       “Well . . . I think you should find it out yourself.” Joonmyun flashed a small, reassuring smile as he patted Sehun’s back softly. The blond really hated that smile because he couldn’t quite tell what the true meaning was laid behind it.

       The young lad with blond hair came up the steps and entered the house rather hesitantly with Joonmyun beside him. For a moment, the harsh whisper from gossipers at the corner stopped almost immediately. It became too quiet for a little while that even the sound of falling needle could be heard. Sehun’s beady eyes behind his glasses wandered to the small group of women who were chattering and gossiping among themselves moment ago. He glared rather angrily at them as he pulled his heavy luggage and stormed past the living room without a word.

       Sehun frowned gloomily as he headed towards his old room. He knew that they must be talking about him and his ‘disrespectful’ behavior right now. And Sehun did not want to waste his precious time listening to their rumblings about his rude manner. It would only result him to be fumed over the facts he had knew for so long. And he was very tired of hearing the same painful sentences leaving their bad mouth for numerous times.

       “Don’t mind them, alright? They must be surprised to see you again, that’s all. Hurry up. We need to go to the cemetery.” Joonmyun was fast enough to catch up behind him. He ruffled Sehun’s hair and smiled rather sympathize over the boy’s fate.

       Abruptly, Sehun stopped sharply as he turned to face Joonmyun with an incomprehensible expression – mixture of curiosity, worriedness, and desperation. Joonmyun somewhat regretting his words once he saw the gleam of loss child he rarely came across except years ago during their first encounter. If Sehun was going to ask him about the issue again, Joonmyun decided to inform him the news regarding Luhan’s demise because the younger boy needed to know. He was Luhan’s little brother after all. He had the right to know.

         “Who?” he mumbled silently. Joonmyun couldn’t resist the look Sehun was giving him because he had known Sehun too well after three years of breathing the same air with the boy. He wasn’t the type to show his true-self – the ignorance child who desperately seek for attentions and loves from the people around him, the naiveté nature laid underneath his façade.

       Joonmyun sighed inaudibly as he gazed into those cloudy brown eyes. With a small voice, he replied;

       “It’s . . . Luhan.”

*  *  *  *  *

       “Did you see that?” a lady in her mid-forty murmured as she craned her head towards the direction Sehun had taken just now. With the same hush tone, she continued, “That insolent child. No wonder why his parents sent him away. Look what he just did – walking in without greeting us. He is really such a pain in the neck. Remember the last time when he fought with my youngest son? Junhong was hospitalized for a week because his violent deed. And he does not apologize until now.”

       “Ew, such a rude boy. I totally dislike him,” answered one of Ling’s confidants. “I think he’s still mad about the issue with that Kai boy . . .”

       “That was nonsense! Kai is really a nice lad. He wouldn’t do such thing. Shixun must spread the rumor to get his attention,” another woman interrupted.

       “Uh, I don’t really think so. That ungrateful kid really hates his brother. That’s why he tried to gain as much attention from his parents by faking the news.” Once again, Ling spoke out.

       “What do you mean?”

       “Don’t you know it already? Shixun loathes Luhan greatly that he refused to even write to him. I’ve told you, he is a graceless and awful child. Can you imagine it? He despised his own flesh and blood. I knew he would turn out to be like this. Just look at his ugly face.” Ling said with a grimace.

       A few minutes after that, Ling excused herself and took her leave as she had household chores to attend to. The remaining women kept on with their conversation regarding to the topic of Luhan’s sudden death.

       “Do you believe in Ling? Is it true what she saw? Did she really see the body? Luhan’s blood couldn’t have been white, could it?” a lady asked her other friends with a trembling voice as she looked around anxiously.

       “I don’t know. No one had truly seen his body. As soon as his body was found, his newlywed husband quickly took it away. He must be hiding something, don’t you think? What else could have been the reason Xiumin removed the corpse without waiting for the villagers? He did not want us to see it, most probably,” replied a brunette.

       “Could it be a sign? Or maybe omen? He had white blood! We all could have been cursed!” she involuntarily shivered.

       “We should stop talking about him. The less, the better.” The others nodded in agreement. But they knew that it would be the only thing they would be talking about for the next few days. Or at least until something more scandalous came along.

*  *  *  *  *

       It was as if the trees and grasses were weeping that day at the funeral. The brown leaves floated down and curled up lifelessly on the ground. The wind blew rather serenely and the sky was overcast, threatening rain. A faint sweet scent of baby’s breath and jasmine lingered in the air.
 

       Sehun stared hollowly at the tomb before him. His eyes seemed empty and cold under the cloudy sky. There were no tears for him to shed. He didn’t know what should he feels right now – whether to be sad, angry, or happy. Remorse? Most definitely. He somewhat regretted his past. Not that he did anything wrong towards Luhan. But if only he knew his brother would be leaving him sooner than he ever expected, he would have make Luhan proud of him, not to disappoint him farther. Sehun still remembered clearly the contain of his brother’s letter which had been sent to him four months ago. Luhan had asked Sehun to get back to his hometown for his wedding day. Nonetheless, the younger brother did not come. And he hated himself for it.

       The burial ground had long been empty, only he remained there. Sehun felt numbed and extremely exhausted yet he was still sitting there, lost in his own world of despair and sorrow. He glanced at his own pale and slender fingers and smiled weakly as he recalled the memories during their childhood days. His tiny hand, the hand Luhan used to hold. How he missed that warm and homey presence of his elder brother. But Luhan was now dead, and he lived only in Sehun’s memoir. To be honest, a part of him was desperately missing Luhan, but a part of him – an evil side of him – was quite pleased that Luhan had finally left. Just the thought of it made Sehun’s stomach churned uneasily.

       Right now, he did not want to leave Luhan alone – he wanted to be there a little longer. Oh, how childish that sounded! But Sehun didn’t care anymore; he just needed a moment of tranquility to calm his foggy mind.

       Footsteps fell behind him. Sehun looked up immediately and the face of the person he despised the most came into his eyesight. Even in the darkness, Sehun could recognize him as he could still remember his features so clearly. He was the same person he used to know – the curves of his face, his skin tone, and his quiet eyes – nothing had truly changed.

       With a sigh, Sehun stood up unwillingly while dusting away the dirt from his clothes. He was not yet ready to meet this two-face bastard even after three years apart from him. Sehun thought he would have had enough preparation, but he was absolutely wrong. As he turned to leave, the male quickened his steps and caught Sehun’s wrist.

       “Shixun, wait!”

       The said male heaved a soft sigh as he spun and glared at the intruder. He really hated that annoying face with equally irritating smile. Wasn’t it enough that he had been embarrassing Sehun to all the villagers years ago? What did he want now?

       “Can’t you leave me be, Kai? I’m sick of you. If you think I’ll fall for your sweet words again, you’re wrong.” Sehun snapped as he struggled to escape from Kai’s firm grip.

       “Let me explain first.” He spoke rather calmly. Those eyes were breathing desolate sigh, imploring him to be nice. But Sehun knew better, he always did.

       “There’s nothing to be explained! Years had passed Kai. What do you expect for?” His shaky voice proof he was on the verge of crying. It was just too much events for a day. He felt so tired and hopeless that all he wanted to do was to curl  up in his warm blanket and forget everything. Just a mere presence of Kai made his blood boiled to no end.

       “You never give me the chance, Shixun! You blame me for everything that happened between us and then you just left without telling me or anyone except your own family. That incident . . . was a mistake. You know I still love you.”

       A bitter chuckle escaped Sehun’s small mouth. Tears were pooling at the corner of his eyes as he stared at the person in front of him in an utter distressed. He did not yet recover from Luhan's loss and now Kai had just appeared out of the blue only to make him felt like a bad guy? 

       “Don't speak as if you possess the most wonderful love ever, Kai. If you're really in love with me, you wouldn't have betrayed me in the first place. You wouldn't have leave me when I was begging you to stay. I've had enough of you and I don't have anything to do with you anymore!” Sehun yelled, tears threatening to fall from his glistening eyes. But no, he wouldn't let his weak true-self shown up right now. He wiped his teary eyes harshly as he glared at Kai. 

       When Kai did not reply to his words, he continued, “As cliché as it sounds, you was my very first lover and you taught me a lot about loves. But you were also the person who had ruined my life and first love heartlessly. You ruined me, you ruined us.”

       And with that, Sehun left Kai at the cemetary as he ran fast as he could into the wood, towards the house placed up in the hills. He wanted comfort – somone who could console him and tell him that everything would be alright. And the first person came into his clouded mind was Yifan.