Subtle Feeling

Note : Remember the progression. It alternates the past and present and you will get the story.

Yoona peeked the slightly open door, hearing sobbing sound coming out from Seohyun. She was crying out for him, silently… beneath the blanket. Hugging the teddy bear he had bought her as his last gift.

It happened. The maknae was crying.

The thing she had been so afraid of was occurring right in front of her.

The maknae is in love.

There’s a saying that when love comes, it comes uncaringly. It disregards your position in life. It just happened.

The camera zooms right into his face and then out again. Wooyoung smirks.

“We Got Married?” Wooyoung raises his eyebrows. “Are you really asking me about this?” He burst out laughing.

“So you’re asking me about how do I film it?” He asks, feeling amuse with the question itself.

“Well I come there with the mind to play around.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I don’t take it seriously. I have been told repeatedly not to take it seriously.”

“Why so?”

“Why? Because we are idols. Isn’t that simple?” Wooyoung wraps his answer with a smile. That’s his definite answer. It’s an open one, but it’s his answer.

Fans might not get it but his co-workers did. They are a product after all.

***

“If I try to push you into We Got Married is it fine with you? I mean your schedules are already tight and all but this can really be a popularity booster.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, it’s a really famous show. Most idols are competing to get into one right now.”

“Well I think the concept is interesting. So yeah but can I really get in?”

“You’re the ‘it guy’ right now Yonghwa yaa. You have a high probability of bagging the deal. I’m telling you this is a gold mine.”

“Sure, why not? When is the interview?”

“The next morning.”

“Well, what should I do to prepare.”

“Just be yourself, really. If you got this one you’re good for the long run but if not, it’s fine… we can just pushed you into some other program. Let me handle the rest, I’ve got this.”

Yonghwa just forced a tired smile, before slurping his coffee… readying for his next schedule. If you already managed to get in the hype, all you have to do is to maintain it and for him he must appeared in various place, promoting his band… playing his role as the leader and the most famous member of the band for now.

There will be a time, when Korea… not just Korea, the world will acknowledge their existence and their music.

There will be… and he will see through it.

By the next morning he already up and prepare to face a few of faceless people with the tag on their clothes, sitting in one long table with papers on their hand. Ready to drill him for the interview.

“Your ideal type?”

“None. I’m fine with any of it.”

The slightly older guy than him frowned along with the panel members.

“Why?”

“I mean, she’s going to be my workmate or lover .. something like that. I can’t possibly predict what she’s going to be like. Every personality is charming. I’m a very open guy.”

The director for the show, smiled… it was clear he was very amused with his answer.

“Okay, that’s all for today. We’ll get back to you later.”

***

T-ARA, Eunjung has been keeping a very close tab on the We Got Married couple that she was supposed to replace. The Yongseo couple.

They were one of the longest running couple throughout We Got Married. One of the few, along with ADAM couple. Somehow, she felt burdened watching them because it seems.. that they really do have feelings for each other. Or maybe, they just really good actors.

When she saw We Got Married couples, outside from the show. They probably acted like very good friends… or just very distant. It depends really.

Yongseo couple is just weird.

They wore their rings all the time. They made handmade stuffs and what’s with making songs for each other?

They did all of that? But they don’t kiss?

Yes, it puzzled her. How can she not? If you want to go all the way to make the audience believe, do more skinships with each other.

But they don’t. It feels like they are being really secretive. They did say hi sometimes… and she saw their interactions like a high 5, friendly chattering, shy giggles but not more than that. She too has confirm, that they don’t date during the filming at all.

Well, she for once will go all out to make the audience believe. We Got Married, is a good platform after all.

***

The PD sat down with his staff members after presenting to them the candidates for the show. He pushed a couple of pictures to the middle of the table, signifying the last candidate for the show.

“We must go with Seohyun.” The assistant PD emphasized. “She’s from SNSD, just that will create enough buzz.”

“But she doesn’t even finish highschool yet.”

“Just nice, when she’s out… the filming will be starting. It will be a bloom of a flower. We need her. Then we will have the entire Kpop rabid fandom to watch this thing.”

“To match her is hard. But we can milk a lot from her image itself.” The PD agreed. “And she genuinely seemed innocent for me. It’s going to be a hard one, but I believe it’s a risk worth taking.”

“Let’s pair her up with a Super Junior member then.”

“No. It doesn’t seem as interesting as this one. Imagine if we put a mischievous snaggletooth rocker with her.” The PD stood up, and grabbed the picture from his file.

“I thought this Jung Yonghwa was eliminated.”

“Bring him in. We can get two blossoming stars. The innocent next door girl meets the new ‘it’ rocker. This will be perfect.”

“They can be a great experiment for us.” The producer tapped Jung Yonghwa picture before joining it with Seohyun. “This is it. The born of Yongseo couple.”

***

 “We Got Married?” Taemin asks, frowning. “Why are you asking me this?”

“I might be going into one.” Minho answers.

“Do you really want to?”

“I don’t really know. It’s a great popularity booster though.”

“Why don’t you ask Seohyun noona? You guys are quite close after all. Despite, she being quite hard to approach before.”

“I will. Just tell me more about you and Na Eun.”

“Well, I got to say… We Got Married are scripted indeed. More evidently, as of late. After the PD has changed. So you might be right to ask me this instead of going to Seohyun noona. Her season is different than us.”

“Still, it’s the most popular season out there. I know how famous Yongseo couple are. It’s no joke.”

“Me and Naeun. For starters, if you don’t know. Our concept is similar to what Yongseo couple was. I admit, that what people has been saying to draw your lines and all are lies. It’s hard to do so. You get involve. But what happen with Naeun and I was that I liked her. I do, but I get the vibe we won’t really work out. I feel the feeling wasn’t intense enough to act on it. As time goes by, we just decided to part ways and be you know co-workers. Not that we are really together anyways. But it’s possible that you can find your soul mate there and it’s a great way to date without being burdened of getting caught in a way.”

“The concept and everything… was it already planned out to be that way.”

“For us, it’s. They wanted to recreate the concept that has been successful throughout the run before. You can’t deny that Yongseo couple has a very huge fan following. From what I see with the concert we are put in together whether it’s SNSD or CNBlue, the fans are still there… holding their lightboard.”

Minho, nodded. Contemplating the options on his mind. “It can be a burden though, it feels like you can’t move on.”

To be honest, he doesn’t really need any popularity booster anymore. He’s famous enough as he is.

***

Seohyun went over the kitchen to eat over the breakfast that Taeyeon cooked for her. It’s her graduation day, so her Taeyeon unnie put in extra effort for today breakfast. Tiffany unnie gave her a bag while apparently Jessica unnie decided to kiss her on the cheek instead. The others? Well, she’s going to keep it a secret.

She smiled as she munched the last bite of her breakfast. She was about to leave when Yoona unnie came out grunting. Probably, tired due to her relentless schedule.

“Hyunnie?” Yoona rubbed her eyes groggily. “Going?”

“Ne.” She nodded excitedly, with her sparkling eyes.

“Are you really that excited? It’s only 7 o’clock right now. Quite early for an event that will commence around 8.30 don’t you think?” Yoona asked while she was pouring the milk.

“Not really? I feel quite sad.”

“It’s sad to leave your teenage life. Come sit here first. I need to talk to you.” Yoona patted the empty stool beside her.

“Waeyo?” Seohyun glanced over the clock on the wall before deciding to sit around for a while.

“I heard you got in We Got Married?”

“Ne.” She bobbed her head up and down.

“Are you okay with that? I mean you can always turn it down.”

Seohyun noticed how unwilling her unnie was on letting her go to such program, she tried to comfort her Yoona unnie. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know. I know that.”

“I mean, it will be just like Taeyeon unnie and Hyung Don oppa right?” Seohyun asked obliviously. “It’s great to experience such stuff to and it’s the right time to get out from unniedul shadows.” Seohyun added thoughtfully.

“You see.” Yoona put down the glass of milk that she has been drinking, leaving a white stain on . “I asked around and it seems you might end up being married to a rookie. So, no it won’t be like Jung Hyungdon oppa and Taeyeon unnie.”

“Rookie?” She pondered for a while. “Hmm..”

“He’s in consideration but he’s more likely to be your husband compared to others. I’m afraid he can’t differentiate that this is a fake one.”

“I know what you’re worrying about but don’t worry I will go there and film then I will go back here and just be normal.”

“You really think going there is wise?”

“Yoona unnie.” She sighed before leaning forward to wipe the stain on Yoona’s mouth. “You guys can’t always shelter me like this. I will be a close minded girl until my hair turns grey then.” She checked back the time with the clock on the wall. “I’m going and stop worrying. Trust me.” Seohyun patted Yoona’s shoulder.

Yoona watched the maknae closed the door before resting her chin on the dining table.

Seohyun is all grown up and she, being the most exposed member of SNSD, knows very well of the perks and the harms of being one. She got a feeling, that 2010 will be Seohyun’s year. She just hoped Seohyun won’t end up weeping at the end of the day for choosing what she chose.

***

Minho arrived, panting… trying to even his breath. He looks at his back, making sure there was no one following him. He signals the staff to close the entry and fix his appearance. He loosen his mask and let down his cap… greeting his buddies. Congratulating, the birthday girl and the birthday boy.

“Is that for me?” Key nudges Minho, teasingly.

“Not for you. I gave yours at the middle of the night. It’s just a goguma.”

“For Seohyun?”

“Yep, my mom ask me to give it to her. There’s some extra in the house.”

“I thought she stopped?”

“Or so she says. Where is she?”

Key points his forefinger at the far end, table. She was hanging out with Min, Jaejin and Hoon. “Better catch the girl fast, I’m afraid she will be gone in a few minutes.”

Minho laughs at Key sarcasm and makes his way to her table.

“Choi Minho!”

“Seororo!

“You should stop calling me that.”

“This is for you, my mom gave it.” Minho offered the bag to her before waving his hand to the other 4 people sitting there.

“By the way, I’m going to party there for a while. Bye guys.” Minho excuses himself. "Minho!” Seohyun  runs to catch up with the still walking Minho. “Yaa.” She taps his back.

“Wae?” He asks nonchalantly.

“I’ve heard you got the offer to be in We Got Married, aren’t you getting in?”

“That stupid bandwagon?”

Seohyun looks at him incredulously, feeling slightly offended.

“I don’t mean you the pabo one here, nevermind you’re indeed a pabo. I’m just not getting in.”

“Waeyo?”

“Do you want me to be frank with you?”

“Of course.”

“Because I don’t want to be like you.”

She stands there, frozen.

“I know, you never found We Got Married as an experience you wanted to forget but I feel like you’re stuck in that moment sometimes Seohyun. I’ve seen you suffered and I’m not willing to go down to that path.”

“Why? It’s a miss chance.”

“I can’t be as positive as you. I don’t think I’m hardworking enough to fake my feeling or even hurt the other person or even to keep drawing the line. I’m old now.”

“Yaa. I’m old too then.”

“We’re old as idols… it’s time for us to seek for our own love. You can’t forever dance on the stage.”

Seohyun forces  a tight lip smile. “I understand.”

“Are you okay?”

“Will be.”

“I’m sorry, I mean it.”

“Don’t be.” Seohyun sighs… as she walk to the nearest table, finding Soyu drinking the beer in front of her.

“Seohyunnie…” Soyu squealed delightfully, clearly she is slightly tipsy. “whaddaya want?”

“The offer you gave me before, I’m in.” Seohyun pulls the chair and sits on it.

“Here, you go.” Soyu pushed the soju at Seohyun. “But.. you said you have to practice and this will make your face red?”

Seohyun sighs as she gulps it..

“What happen?”

“Don’t ask.”

From afar Minho looks at her worryingly. He feels guilty for making her feel that way…

“What’s up man?” Key pulls Minho for a headlock. “You did well, she needs a reality check.”

“You heard it?”

“That low blow, definitely.” Key chuckles at Minho annoyed look. “You never did that but whatever, maybe because it has been going on for too long. You still can’t blame her dude, she lives a sheltered life. We are a bunch of products and we are trying to make the most out of it.”

***

Yonghwa has been grinning from ear to ear, reading the text message on his temporary phone for the nth time.

Cham. Stop apologizing. Try to find the scarf in Japan instead. Take good care of yourself, oppa.

From : Hyun

“Who is that hyung?”

“Seohyun.” He said giddily.

“Why is it you’ve been smiling like a lunatic, then?”

“Because I can imagine exactly how she said these exact words to me… with her nose flaring and all.” He laughed before starting to mimic every word of it.

“You shouldn’t be too happy if she’s talking about the scarf then, have you finished knitting it?”

“Completely.” Yonghwa wiped his imaginary sweat on his forehead and fake a crying sound. “It’s so hard..”

“I admire you hyung really… to be able to do that.”

“How can’t you not repay back what she has done when she herself tried her hardest to accommodate me Minhyuk?”

Minhyuk saw how his hyung smile soften  when he started to talk about her and started to worry silently for the impending end the two will soon meet.

The internet was buzzing with hate war between the two fandoms saying that Yonghwa has every right to claim banmal song as his song while her fans are saying how Yonghwa has been using the name of SNSD to promote his single song… regardless these two look so uncaring of the world.

How can they even be that way?

“Hyung… aren’t you worried?”

Yonghwa looked at the maknae puzzled. It took him a while for him to figure out what Minhyuk was implying.

He slightly snickered.

“I’m but I need to enjoy this when it last.”

Truth to be told, Minhyuk was feeling pretty terrible of letting his hyung do all this work.. and he was feeling guilty for being silently grateful that his hyung got partnered up with the nation’s girl group member since it can raise their band’s fame. Despite knowing, how many backlash it can lead his hyung too if he doesn’t do it well.

He promised to repay his hyung back… whatever it takes.

***

“The chapter in our life will come to a closure, I’m trying to accept it. It’s not the end.” Lee Joon raises his beer to his group of friends. Yonghwa’s one of them, spacing out on his sentence.

Who thought this bad influence hyung is saying something meaningful at this kind of times?

He curves a small smile and stands up. Feeling the need of fresh air. Somehow he ponders around with the thought on his head…  His feet are bringing him around the unfamiliar street in Japan with only the dark night becoming the only familiar compass in his escape route but then he stops by to listen to the street musician sweet rendition of the classic Remioromen song with his guitar. It pulls him in, it reels him in… he taps his feet to the rhythm, nodding his head…

 Along with the crowd, he cheers in his mother tongue language.

“Daebak.”

He feels like someone is staring at him, so he turns to his side… only to encounter her.

“Hi.” She giggles awkwardly at him.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” Both of them simultaneously ask the other. Yonghwa laughs at the apparent awkwardness and shock that is evident. He waves his hand, asking her to continue with her sentence.

“I was here with Yoona unnie actually but I don’t know where she’s gone.” Seohyun looks around, concerned when suddenly she gasps. “Want to eat some ice cream oppa?” Seohyun points at the 7Eleven store at the corner.

Yonghwa raises his eyebrows. “Sure.”

It’s weird that they aren’t talking about how creepy the coincidence of them meeting each other at this country at such time, alone by themselves. Still, he ignores it. Might be more comfortable this way.

He grabs a can of beer from the fridge.

“Drinking?”

“Can’t i?”

“Grab one for me.” Seohyun mutters nonchalantly as she grabs two ice cream packs. “Is this fine with you?”

No response from him, he was busy staring at her. Almost gapping hearing how cool she is about drinking. The thought of her changing somehow leaves a pang on his heart as if it’s saying he’s really not a big part of her life anymore.  

They sit at the nearby bench, ignoring the fact that a scandal can be created with them hanging out this way.

“I want the chocolate one.” Yonghwa picks the ice cream from her hand. “This one is for you. Are you sure about this?” Yonghwa offers the can of beer to her.

“I’m not a kid, I can drink now.” Seohyun says proudly. “So why haven’t you asked what I’m doing here?” Seohyun asks, her hand is peeling the ice cream’s cover.

“I just thought it will be a boring conversation starter. I was about to ask that before though.” Yonghwa shrugs.

“Me too.” She nods lightly.

“So, how are you?”

Seohyun nearly scoffs at his question.

“Wait, did you just do that to me?” Yonghwa looks at her surprise.

“Noo… oppa.” She waves her hands around, denying.

“You scoff. You scoff…” He repeats, shock.

“I did not, oppa.”

“You did.” He grins. His cheeks popping out. It feels familiar. Somehow, it boils something inside of her. So her hands naturally fly at his shoulder. Slapping him, to stop teasing her.

When she realizes the catastrophe of what she did… it’s already too late. He grabs her wrist at the heat of the moment. His deep, soulful eyes staring at her. Her heart stops.

“Is this fate?”

“Hmm?”

“I was thinking of you while I was walking the entire night.”

“What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I meant earlier on.” He lets her wrist go and she hates how she feels disappointed over it.

He crumples the ice cream plastic away and drinks his beer. She continues soon afterwards. Neither spoke any words to each other.

“You know, how married couple ends up with each other because they have missed the train. Miss their chance, so they settle in for the condition instead? It’s like they are settling for something that lost its meanings. The ‘I love you’ was not meant from their heart anymore… because deep inside they were longing for that one true person. Some might have realized that they already let them go. I’m afraid I will end up like them. Settling just because I got tired of the life and doesn’t feel like hoping anymore. Giving up, on love.”

“Is this why you’re being so careless, oppa?” She tilts her head to his side, genuinely curious over his answer.

“For sitting here with you?”

She nods. “I thought you wanted to avoid scandals.”

“Only because I want to avoid hurting the people I love. But who are you to say this to me when you are sitting here so chill without any care in the world. It’s weird for your personality.”

“Nothing really, I just wanted to talk to you. It’s been a long time since we last talked you know.” She says, her eyes are looking at her front. Her fingers circling the beer can, pouting . Contemplating.. afraid.. nervous..

“Oppa, have you ever think that one girl could be me?”

Just like that, the beer of can slips away from his hand. It spills over his shoes. Thankfully not his sweat pants.

He ignores the dampness, and look at her. The grown woman that she has become.

“Always, I think of it always.”

She feels breathless as she grabs the helm of her shirt.

'Dugeun..dugeun..'

It starts beating again… she gathers all her courage, closes her eyes and says it. “I feel the same way. I can't never get over you.”

Author's Note

It's a thoughtful fic. No. I'm not writing this for fantasy sake. I'm trying to create a sense of real-ness. A hope in a way. I hope you get the feeling that i tried to insert as i was writing this. Leave your thoughts... at the comment sections. lol

By the way, if you're bored, do entertain me. What is it about Yongseo that makes you feel like reading fics about them? If you're a writer what makes you want to write them?

Writing Yongseo for me, brings up intense feels. I don't even need to describe their relationship and was able to write the character. It's hard writing fic based on real person that actually exist. It doesnt help you to expand the range of the character some might able to. Not really me. For one shot especially i tend to write based on the Yongseo that i've seen on screen. But Yong & Seo are such rich characters... that it's so fun to explore it.

I genuinely like writing them. The aim that i used to write them will forever be to convey the genuineness between both characters.