October 10, 2014 07:12 A.M.

Got up earlier than you to give you a little surprise.
You’ll find it on your locker! :)
Morning, My Sunshine!

I could already imagine how Myungsoo had his smile on his lips texting me and I knew how sincere he was. I was always thankful of what he’d done for me and how sweet he was. And I’d been telling him to not show his affection towards me anywhere. However, he never listened. It goes the same with me too, I didn’t care if he wouldn’t listen, because I’d keep telling him that.

But before I could text him, Myungsoo called me first and I picked it up within the first ring.

“Good morning, Sooji. I knew you just wanted to text me, telling me to take down whatever I wanted to give you. But, I won’t. Okay? I love you…” I heard his voice from the other line and he didn’t hung the phone up for a few seconds.

Myungsoo knew I wouldn’t argue over the phone and I just let out a sigh before he hung up.

October 10, 2014 07:15 A.M.

I hate you, Kim…

October 10, 2014 07:15 A.M.

Oh, don’t worry. I love you, too.

By the time I arrived at my university, I felt this anxiety had grown bigger within me. A weird feeling hit me, making my heart race paced up. I felt uneasy as I walked on the corridor, feeling the people’s gaze on my back as they murmuring something. I lowered my head and quickly walked up to my locker. My hands were shaking, trying to reach my locker door as I heard some words came out from their mouths.

“Told you, it was her locker!”

“Oh gosh, what did Kim Myungsoo do in front of her locker?”

“I saw him opened her locker earlier.”

“What? He knows her combination code? Heol!”

“Are they dating?”

“No way! She doesn’t even talk.”

“Does not and not able is different. You should know that, folks.”

My hands were shaking to the point I couldn’t get my combination code right in just one try. I had heard enough. No matter how hard I tried not to let those words get into my heart, I couldn’t, and those words just kept ringing on my head. I wish I could open this damn locker soon, and get the hell out of this corridor without being asked but it just won’t happen.

“Are you dating Kim Myungsoo?” asked a girl. She leaned her back on the locker beside mine, she had her hands crossed in front of her chest. “Tell us, it was just nonsense, right?”

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself as I once again trying to get the right combination code of my locker.

The girl flipped her long hair as she looked at me. “Wouldn’t you tell us?”

I finally got it right and quickly, I took my books with me. I did caught a glimpse of silver small box inside, but I decided not to take it now.

“Didn’t you say she is not able to talk?” said another girl.

“Oh, right. What’s that? A gift?” The girl smirked as she stopped me from closing my locker. I hold her wrist when she wanted to take the box but she pushed me back.

I opened my mouth, really wanted to shout at her to back off and leave me alone but I couldn’t. I struggled to stop her as she purposely threw away my books on the floor before taking the box.

“Let’s see. Wow, there’s a letter.”

I quickly snatched it off and kept it behind my back. The unpleasant look was on her face as she grabbed me by the collar and pushed me hard to the locker.

“Listen, you are so helpless and useless, Bae Sooji. You should be ashamed of yourself. You are even not able to talk and why do you think you can have Kim Myungsoo? Doesn’t it ever cross your mind that perhaps he’s just playing with you? Perhaps he is just sympathizing? I don’t believe Kim Myungsoo is dating you. He’s too good for someone like you.”

I looked straight into her eyes, trying to hold back the tears ready to fall anytime.

Not able to reply to her words was the thing I hate the most right now. Because she didn’t know what she said. Because all she’d said about Myungsoo was wrong and I wasn’t able to speak up about that. I truly hate this.

“Yah! You better get off of her, Kang Mari!”

And I hate having people doing something for me that I should’ve done myself. This time, having Kim Sunggyu the president of student council to tell Kang Mari to get off of myself, just proven the girl right.

That I was helpless.

I knelt down to pick up my books and put it back on my lockers as the crowd had gone to their classes. I caught a familiar figure was standing not far from me, looking at my direction with his hands balled. I knew Myungsoo was there, but I didn’t spare him a glance. I was ashamed.

“Are you okay, Bae Sooji?” asked Kim Sunggyu.

I nodded my head even though I wasn’t and quickly closed my locker. I slightly bowed to the nice guy and scurried away before Myungsoo approached.

Although I’d tried to widen the distance between us, Myungsoo still could catch up. He pulled me to the other direction when I was about to take my turn to the left and stopped.

 I hung my head low and didn’t have the intention to look up at the man anytime soon. I heard Myungsoo sighed, he groaned and I could imagine he was pulling his hair out of frustration, too. The tears I’d trying to held back was urging itself to flow down and it finally did.

Another thing I hate was crying in front of Myungsoo. I walked a couple steps away from him, my back facing him and trying to not make a sound while the tears flowing uncontrollably. But no matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I bit the insides of my cheeks, I couldn’t hold back the sob. Once again, she was right.

That I was useless.

And my sob was getting harder when I felt his arms around my body, back hugging me. His chin on my shoulder and we stayed like that for a while.

Myungsoo once told me that words like trash shouldn’t be getting to my heart easily and I shouldn’t be crying over it.

He turned me to face him and hugged me even tighter than before, my head soothingly.

 But when I cried, instead telling me to stop, he let me.

“That’s why I’m here, Sooji. You have a shoulder to cry on and it’s okay to cry sometimes.”

I wiped off my tears and looked up at him. I stared at his eyes and I didn’t know what I should say. At first, I wanted to tell him that he shouldn’t have done that. But his intention was good, he just wanted to give me a gift and no one knew it would turn out like this.

Thanks for your gift, I said finally.

“I’m sorry, Sooji.”

Why?

“Today was supposed to be a good day but I ruined it.”

You didn’t.

“I did.”

I glanced at my watch and tried to assure him with a small smile.

It’s still eight in the morning. A bad morning doesn’t mean a bad day, Myungsoo. We still have a plenty of time to make it better.

Myungsoo smiled with his dashing dimple showing itself and he hugged me again.