“Dark hair on a white pillow, an ache inside, her face a reflection in his eye.” 

 

 

 

Donghae was sitting at the edge of his bed. He was staring blankly in front of him for God knows how long. The loud ticking of the clock was the only sound that was heard inside the dark room that he was in.

 

A sudden pain hit his head. He crouched forward and put his hands on it, each elbow on his thigh. He was at this position for some minutes when a cold breeze touched his skin. He looked at his side towards his balcony. He creased his forehead in confusion but set it aside immediately when he heard a sound of door opening then closing. A wide smile spread across his handsome face. He stood up and deserted the room.

 

He walked to his living room. The television was on and a soft cry from a cat was heard but he ignored all of it. He roamed his eyes around but saw no one there.

 

He then went to the kitchen. There, he saw the person he was waiting for. She was sitting on the chair at the end of the table looking at him with a smile.

 

Donghae went to her and hugged her tightly. "You're back." He whispered in her ear before nuzzling his head on the crook of her delicate neck, giving it a peck at the same time.

 

"Did you miss me?" She asked. He hugged her closer to him. She giggled softly when Donghae nod his head on her neck. 

 

"I thought you will not come back......to me." He released from their hug and held her shoulders so they faced each other.

 

"I thought so too." The woman lifted her hand to touch Donghae's cheek. He was looking at her with love and longing. "But I won't leave you anymore.''

 

"Promise?" Donghae asked her. He touched the hand of the woman that was touching his cheek.

 

"I promise." The woman said. Donghae smiled lovingly at her. He intertwined their fingers and pecked the inside of her palm.

 

"I love you, Dara." He said before closing the gap between them and kissing her full on the lips.

 

____________

 

Donghae stirred in his sleep when he heard the continuous ringing of his phone. He reached for it in his bedside table. He saw his omma's name calling him. When he was about to answer it, his phone suddenly turned off indicating that it needs to be charged.

 

He put his phone back on the bedside table not bothering to charged it and call her mother back.

 

He turned to Dara who was sleeping beside him and sighed in relief when he saw that she was still there.

 

Last night was the best. After having dinner, they went straight to bed. They did not sleep for a while and just cuddle each other. Though they did nothing like a married couple should do at night, but he felt like he was in heaven. Dara is in my arms, of course I am in heaven. He thought like a teenager inlove.

 

Dara slightly moved, some fringe of her silky hair fell on her face. He brushed it away gently and tucked it on the back of her ear. He was amazed how angelic she looked that moment. He touched her smooth cheek with his forefinger. He felt jealous when her face was kissed by the sunlight. He badly wants to kiss her too but holds himself for if he does it, she might wakes up.

 

He stared at the sleeping woman for a while before getting off the bed. "His beautiful Dara, his beautiful wife is with him again."

 

____________

 

- An hour later - 

 

While fixing a breakfast in bed for his wife, he heard the front door opened. Did Dara go out? I didn't saw her pass by. He went to his door and was astounded to saw his omma.

 

"Omma why are you here?" He blurted out.

 

Mrs. Lee frowned at her son question. "Why do you look so bewildered Hae? Did you forget that we have an appointment to Dr. Han today?" Donghae stilled for a moment. Mrs. Lee went to his side and touched his arm. "I'm glad you're not locking yourself in your room anymore."

 

"Actually omma I really want to lock myself in my room again."

 

"Why is that?"

 

"Because Dara is there."

 

Mrs. Lee looked at her son like he grows another head. "W-what?"

 

"Dara is back. She's sleeping right now; maybe you can talk to her later. Anyway, you said we will go to a doctor. Why? Are you sick?" Donghae guided his mother to sit on the couch.

 

"I think I will be." Mrs. Lee answered. She looked uncomfortable that it bothered Donghae so he decided to go with her. He can have his moment and alone time with Dara later.

 

"Okay omma I will accompany you there. Just give me a minute."

 

Donghae walked to the kitchen first to put the breakfast he made on a tray. He went to his bedroom, put the tray on the bed and gave Dara a peck on the lips that was still sleeping. 

 

Dara fluttered her eyes open before looking at the cause of her wake. She smiled beautifully at Donghae and kissed him as well.

 

"Good morning baby. I made your breakfast." He said cheerfully, bringing the tray closer to her. She gave him a warm smile.

 

Donghae went to his closet and rummaged it to change his clothes. He gets his phone on the bedside table and put it on his pocket. He walked closer to his bed again and kissed Dara on her forehead.

 

"Omma wants me to accompany her to the doctor. You'll be okay alone here? You want to come?" He wanted her to come with them, afraid that when he comes back she might dissappear again.

 

"I'll be fine alone here." 

 

He looked at Dara's amused face. She knew why he want her to come with him and his omma. "Go now Hae, I don't want you keeping your omma waiting for so long."

 

He sighed dejectedly. "I'll be back as soon as possible. Call me when you need something, okay?"

 

Dara just nodded her head. Donghae smiled then give his wife a peck on her cheek.

 

He walked back to the living room where his omma was sitting.

 

"Let's go now?"

 

He guided his mother outside his house. When they were in the front lawn, Donghae looked up to the balcony and saw Dara waving her hand to them. He waved his hand as well and gives her a flying kiss. Dara laughed heartily.

 

He got in his car. He saw his omma still looking at his balcony. When he looked up, Dara wasn't there anymore.

 

"Omma what are you still doing there? She might be in our room now and eating the breakfast I made."

 

Mrs. Lee just looked at her son and walked to him with unsure steps.

 

____________

 

Mrs. Lee was in the office of the doctor for ten minutes now. Donghae was sitting in the waiting room. He was alone there, reading a magazine from the coffee table infront of him.

 

After a few minutes the office door opened. He stood up expecting his mother but he saw the doctor instead.

 

"Hello Donghae." The beautiful doctor greeted.

 

"Where's omma?" He asked looking at her back to see if his mother was there.

 

"She's still in the office. I told her to stay there while we talk."

 

Donghae nodded in understanding. "So how is omma?"

 

Dr. Han gives him a smile. "We're not going to talk about your mother. We're going to talk about you."

 

"Me?" The doctor gives him a nod as an answer. "How are you Donghae?"

 

Dr. Han sat on the couch. Donghae replied that he was fine before taking a seat across the doctor. He felt a little queasy while looking at her.

 

"How do you do this past month?"

 

Donghae rubbed his head. He didn't know why it was aching or why his insides felt heavy all of a sudden. But he was sure he didn't like the topic of their conversation.

 

Upon seeing his reaction, Dr. Han didn't pushed Donghae to answer her question. She got something on her coat pocket and showed it to Donghae. It was a picture of a woman. Donghae held it to see the picture clearly.

 

"Do you know this woman?"

 

"This. . . . . She is my wife, Dara." Donghae said, not tearing his gaze on the picture.

 

"When was the last you saw her?"

 

Donghae creased his forehead in confusion. But his insides felt lighter so he gave her an answer. "Just this morning, before we went here I saw her on our balcony."

 

"Your omma told me she left, when did she came back?"

 

"Last night." Donghae answered feeling elated now to the topic of their conversation. As long as it's about Dara, he was always happy.

 

"Did you talk to her?"

 

"What kind of question is that? Of course."

 

"Would you tell me something about her?" The doctor placed her hand on the top of Donghae's hand and smiled beautifully at him.

 

Donghae eyes sparked thinking about her wife. "Her name is Dara. She's beautiful, all about her is beautiful." Donghae looked at the picture of her wife, caressing her face in the picture. "She's a very responsible wife. She supports me in every decision I make. But what I really love about her is she always makes me happy."

 

"Is there a time where Dara made you feel sad?" Dr. Han asked.

 

His lips that were form in a smile suddenly became a firm line across his face. He stared at the wall on the back of the doctor, he was remembering the past that bring pain and sadness to him. "Last month, Dara said she's going somewhere. She asked me to come with her because she didn't know the place at all. But I have a work that day so I can't go with her. After my work I expected her to be at home from the place she went to, but she wasn't home. She didn't come back for a month. That day until yesterday I was sad because of her."

 

When he finished talking, all of a sudden he get his phone in his pocket and put it on his ear. "Wait a minute Dr. Han, my wife is calling me."

 

"It's okay. Go ahead." She said, the warm smile not leaving her face. Donghae stood up and went to a corner. After a while he finished talking on the phone and came back.

 

"I need to go back home now. My wife needs me. May I talk to omma?"

 

"Yes. Of course you may." They walked inside the office. Donghae saw his mother looking at a monitor. He thought she was watching something horrific because her face looked terrified. He's worried that maybe it was about her condition she was afraid of, but he needs to go home now. He needs to see Dara now.

 

"Omma, Dara called me and asked me to come back home. We'll talk about your condition later. I'll call hyung to drive you home. Is that alright?"

 

His mother looked at Dr. Han. The doctor just nodded her head at her.

 

"It's okay. And don't worry about calling your hyung, I'll do it."

 

"Thanks omma." Donghae hugged and kissed his mother's forehead before bowing his head to the doctor. As soon as he went out Mrs. Lee sat down and cried. Dr. Han console her friend which is the mother of her patient. She was a psychiatrist, her friend Mrs. Lee asked her to consult her son which she thought was having a depression from the death of his wife. 

 

"I don't know what to feel. Should I be happy that he's not locking himself anymore or be sad for him because now he's seeing his dead wife? What I'm going to do?

 

"I'm afraid to say this but only Donghae can help himself. He didn't need someone who will tell him to accept everything. He should do it on his own. We can't tell him something we know he wouldn't believe."

 

"So we will just let him delude himself?"

 

"For now, yes. A truth that he should already know will bring him to a depression that's beyond what he experienced before."

 

____________

 

Donghae opened the front door of his house. "I'm back." He greeted but he was answered by the silence. He ran to his bedroom. He expected to see Dara, but she wasn't there. What welcomed him was the breakfast he made for her. It was left untouched on the bed. The heavy feeling he felt earlier crept inside him again.

 

Did she leave me again? He asked himself.

 

"No! She promised she won't leave me anymore!"

 

He walked to every part of the house. To the kitchen, bathroom, and in the guest room but he didn't see her.

 

Pain, loneliness, regret, guilt, and all the feelings he had when she left the first time was coming to him again. He didn't like it. He hated it. He despised every bit of it!

 

He sat on the edge of his bed. Both hands were supporting his head and his elbows were on his thigh.

 

A faint sound was heard on his left side; he looked at it and saw the closed sliding door of his balcony. Like a déjà vu he felt a cold breeze passed him.

 

"Donghae." A voice of a woman called on his right side. When he turned his head he saw the woman he was looking for. He stood up and called her name.

 

 

 

 

 

"Come with me." She said in her soft and sweet voice, lifting her right arm forward for Donghae to take.

 

 

 

 

He smiled at her.

 

 

 

 

 

Then, she smiled at him too.

 

 

===END===

 

 

 

 

 

 

Phantazein = greek word of phantasm which means something that exist only in a person's mind.

Thank you for reading.