Word count: 1582

 

They only met 5 years after they graduated elementary, age barely considered to be adult and minds not too mature, yet.

 

It happened like one of those mainstream asian dramas shown every night. Luhan as clumsy as she is spills her orange juice immediately staining the pristine white shirt of the person she bumped into. She profusely bows and says a series of apologies to the victim until the guy- the cute guy waves her off and tells her it's okay.

 

Just like in dramas, she might just fall a bit in love. Not too much and not too little, could also be considered a crush or infatuation.

 

☁︎

She only learned his name months after, mind messy and eyes heavy from studying.  Luhan is sitting in a weirdly pink bench situated not far enough from the soccer field. Her head is covered with a thick Chemistry book, eyes trained on every words and arms aching from holding the book in an upward position as there's no table.

 

Normally, Luhan would have been easily distracted but this is not the right time and she will really be dead if she fails in one of her subjects. She's been concentrating well if not only for the girls beside her that are chatting and laughing quite obnoxiously.

 

"I call dibs for him," one of the girls pointed at a boy resting under a tree, soccer ball between his hand and earphones attached to his ears. "What? The Kim Minseok? You can't stand a chance," her friend retorts, slightly laughing at her friend's craziness. Luhan refuses to call it eavesdropping, she just hear them because of their voice. Luhan gives a once over to the boy and she might kind of recognize that face.

 

Kim Minseok. She vows that they will have their own conversation and they will learn each other. Someday.

 

☁︎

Luhan got the chance to talk to him a year after, at senior high.

 

It was a big shock to Luhan when she found out that she and Minseok will be in the same class and it will be an understatement to say that Luhan is happy that Minseok chose to sit beside her. 

 

Minseok smiled her a smile enough for her heart to beat loud, she hopes it's not that loud for him to hear. "I'm Minseok. Kim Minseok," he offers, right hand placed in front of her and eyes filled with expectation. They didn't talk much after that.

 

☁︎

Weeks later, same as what happened to a drama that Luhan used to love, she and Minseok got paired to a major project. They compromised to spend time for it at least twice a week and decided that they'll go to a different place every meeting so that it would not be monotonous.

 

It started awkward at first, suggestions hanging at the tip of their tongues. Occasional glances, eyes meeting sometimes and immediately directing their gaze to something they think more interesting. There are also times when they have the guts to spill informations for the project, ideas spurting everywhere and mouth not stopping but there will always be a period where awkward silence fills the air.

 

Sometimes they go to a quaint coffee shop not far away from school, oftentimes to their school's library. But there will always be a rare time where they go to each other's house, meeting different family members and eating family specialties.

 

☁︎

Bashful whispers become normal talks, shy glances turn into direct eye contact and timid smile blossomed into confident grins. 

 

They spent more time together as much as possible that Luhan thinks Minseok might have the same feelings as her, that he will make a move tomorrow or someday but it never happened. Luhan can't keep the feelings to herself anymore, it's too much, her heart is getting heavier and mind messier thus making her to confess to him.

 

Minseok looks at her in disbelief, not sure if he will be happy or sad. "I'm sorry Luhan but now is not the right time. Someone deserves you better," he smiles that smile, neither mockingly nor sorry and Luhan hopes that maybe... just maybe it meant something that he couldn't say.

 

 ☁︎

Luhan cried for a week, unable to let go for the fact that she and Minseok will not have a chance to be together. Sometimes she scolds herself for giving him her heart but she never regretted it. At least I was able to tell him, she convinces herself and at the very least it gives her a little bit of strength and confidence to overcome the day.

 

As much as she wants to mope and roll on her bed and cry, she has to stand up because they'll be graduating soon and periodical exams is fast running to them seniors. Luhan studied very hard, always pulling an all-nighter and empty coffee mugs by slowly filling her once clean table. She persevered not because of the grades and honor but to at least ease the pain and maybe forget Minseok, at least a little.

 

 ☁︎

Loud claps were given to Luhan as she finished her speech with a smile and grateful bow, she is the class valedictorian. Hard work evident under her beautiful eyes yet covered by a layer of makeup. White graduation caps being tossed in the air and some girls crying at the center, boys making fun of the crying girls and their messed up cosmetics in the sideline. Luhan found her parents, giving her a huge and crushing hug and pictures were taken everywhere.

 

She was sitting alone on the weird pink bench where she used to observe Minseok and she can't help but smile at the memories of high school and Minseok. It was very peaceful at first until someone came and spoke, "I will surely miss this," and she was pulled up and Minseok gave her a hig, maybe their first and last hug.

 

Luhan sure feels awkward and shy but composes herself to give him the words she always want to say. "I still like you, you know. I'm not forcing you or anything but at least give me a reason why," she her breath and waits for Minseok to walk away, she might be kind of expecting him to avoid her and the question then walk out.

 

"If we're meant to be, we'll see each other again," he smiles again the smile that makes Luhan's heart to pound so hard. For the first time since her confession, she smiles a genuine smile.

 

 ☁︎

Five years is a long time, immature high school students now striving hard to find a decent job and earn wads of money. Luhan is proud to say that she's a successful accountant in a very famous hotel chain, bank account loaded to its limit and apartment decorated with expensive furnitures and up to date technology.

 

The picture frames scattered everywhere are filled with her face and a quite handsome guy. His name is Sehun, met him in an upbeat club downtown. They're official and has been together for a long time now but they never did the act, Luhan refuses to and Sehun sometimes understand (but most of the time gets angry) she reasons out to preserve it until their wedding. It's always half lie and half truth though, it's true that Luhan loves Sehun but it will always be not enough.

 

 ☁︎

Luhan decides to wind up after weeks of stressful work and deadlines pushing her, she opens the door to the quaint coffee shop she and Minseok used to frequent. The aroma of coffee beans welcomes her and sat at the farthest corner of the shop, the shop is playing a relaxing music and gives the shop a once over. 

 

She swears she could hear her heart break into pieces when she sees Minseok and a pretty girl whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears. Their eyes meet and Luhan gives him a tiny smile which confuses the pretty girl. Minseok gives her a smile, teeth showing and pink gums appearing but eyes a bit of sad. Luhan is not sure though. It's not their time, not yet.

 

Luhan and Sehun broke up that night when she rejects Sehun for the nth time. She cried but for different reasons.

 

 ☁︎

The next time they meet is in China, three years older and bank accounts enough to support a family of 12 for maybe a lifetime. Luhan visits her hometown once again, her parents fussing over on why she doesn't have a plus one. I'm very busy with work and I don't have the time, she supplies.

 

Luhan sits on one of the swings in the nearby park, she feels really tranquil yet she does not know why. Maybe it's because she's fairly sure that she's alone and no one will bother her or that something good will happen, like winning the lottery or anything.

 

Her doll shoes is starting to get dirty and her skirt flying because of the wind, the swing might be getting way too up but she continues to push on the ground, giggling like a kid. It's been quiet for a while except for her occasional giggle, not until a boyish voice cursed when his things fell. It might be creepy but she swears she knows that voice.

 

The man looks up and a spark of recognition lights in his eyes and he smiles the smile that always and will forever make her heart beat fast. He smiles again and Luhan knows.