“A day late and a dollar short!” Choi Young Do said bitterly, raining resentment with his eyes.

Cha Eun Sang swallowed the barb and decided against returning the heat. She was not going to stoke the fire that was already burning bright. But she knew that Choi Young Do hated passive victims. If he wanted to provoke her, then a sharp answer rather than inflamed words would more likely distract him.

“Touche! But I am not sure whether you were aiming for petty or profound.” Cha Eun Sang said in a voice that was trying hard not to let her uncertainty show.

Choi Young Do gave a short humorless laugh. “Do not feign innocence, Cha Eun Sang! I have every reason to doubt your sincerity. Just out of curiosity, why this sudden show of loyalty and care?”

Cha Eun Sang was speechless for a moment, trying to figure out if it was a genuine question, for the answer to her mind was obvious.

“Because we are friends.” She said simply, trying not to show her irritation at his seemingly inane question. Only the answer seemed to backfire rather unexpectedly.

Choi Young Do advanced suddenly, almost aggressively, eyes blazing with anger and cynicism.

“Do not fool yourself! We are not friends! We were never friends!”

Cha Eun Sang wanted to jump up and back up against the farthest wall, in an attempt to put a greater physical distance between her and Choi Young Do. That’s what her instinct told her. The same instinct that had led her to run away from Kim Tan in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles. But she was older now and knew from experience that sometimes you have to fight the good fight for a good cause and Choi Young Do was a good cause….at least right then.

“Alright. Perhaps you are right. We are not friends. But we are ‘friendly’…..most of the time…..sometimes……may be.” She finished, increasingly unsure in front of a stony faced Choi Young Do.

“You have always used me. And I have allowed it….whenever I could…as much as I could….as much as it was humanly possible.” Choi Young Do’s voice was unusually somber.

Cha Eun Sang felt those words weigh on her heart along with the sneaking suspicion that perhaps she had indeed walked over Choi Young Do’s feelings all those years ago, doing more damage than she had estimated. At that point of time, she had only seen him as a bully, whom she had found difficult to deal with. Even when he had apparently stopped victimizing her, he was unpredictable and unreliable. But the adult Choi Young Do had proven himself as a valuable support over the last one year and she was thankful for it, even if he was still moody and prone to fits of anger. She, however, never consciously set out to take advantage of him. She had to clarify.

Cha Eun Sang let her words express the pain that his accusations had caused her, “I am sorry if you feel that way. I agree that of late, I have come to depend on you and lean on you a lot. Trust me, I had no idea that you thought I was exploiting you. I don’t know how can I convince….”

“When have I ever been able to lean on you? Or is it just that you only thought of taking?” Choi Young Do’s voice was laced with acrimony.

It was Cha Eun Sang’s turn to be genuinely surprised. She could scarcely believe her ears.

“You needed my help? When? You never said anything.” She was truly puzzled. The Mighty Choi Young Do always seemed so invincible.

“Why do I have to say anything? You were so wrapped up in yourself that you couldn’t even sense that somebody else wanted……badly needed…..your friendship? But it was a different story when it came to….somebody else. You walked on coals for his sake. I risked just as much……..for you!” Choi Young Do was yelling by now.  He hated that he was sounding whiny but the cracks were too deep to window dress in polite words.

Cha Eun Sang flinched at his intensity. She was also taken aback by his petulant behavior over something that taken place a decade ago. He sure held a grudge, she thought to herself. But before she could say anything, Choi Young Do burst out again.

“And when I did spell it out, what did you do? You rejected me! But that did not stop you from coming to me for help to rescue him. And the fool that I was, I did. You didn’t care about me but I was frantic for your safety, for your wellbeing. But I was never in the loop. I had to find out that you had chosen him for good by actually ferreting the information out of you! And after that you wanted us to be ‘friends’!” Choi Young Do balled his fists and strained his shoulder muscles to keep himself from punching a hole in the wall. It still hurt, hurt so bad, just to think about it.

Something was dawning on Cha Eun Sang. She had always thought that Choi Young Do had taken an interest in her only as a way to provoke Kim Tan. It was a pissing contest between two immature, entitled and arrogant teenagers. She had become a pawn in their irrational game of one-upmanship. Later though he had shown moments of genuine care. But that’s what they were- moments. When she only craved constancy as a reprieve from her own struggles to keep afloat in the cross currents of life, he was fickle and moody. She had gravitated towards Kim Tan in spite of the fact that he had his own share of follies. Kim Tan was unusually steadfast in his faithfulness, for his age. And he was willing to go to any length to protect her, even if at times overbearing and pigheaded in his efforts. And there was something else. Something that was different about Kim Tan. He wore his heart on his sleeve, warts and all. Choi Young Do….she could never really get a real sense of who he was.

She blurted out what was on her mind, even before she thought it through, “Who are you?” Just as abrupt as her question, Choi Young Do’s boiling anger came to a sudden halt, thrown off by her question.

He looked at her in puzzlement, “What?”

Cha Eun Sang seized that one rare moment when Choi Young Do was off his ‘game’, to see if she could actually look into the heart of the enigmatic man-child.

“No, seriously…..who are you? I barely know you…the real you. I know that you are extremely intelligent, driven and successful. I know that you are capable of caring when you choose to do so and you are equally capable of viciously tearing somebody down when it suits you. But those are manifestations of what’s going on in your heart and mind. But I don’t think anybody ever knows why. You never let it show. You never share.” Cha Eun Sang stopped to take stock of the effect of her words on Choi Young Do.

Apparently, Choi Young Do was affected, for he instinctively crossed his arms across his chest. One didn’t need to be a psychologist to know that it was the most common defensive body language. He dropped his gaze but his stance, with feet planted wide, suggested belligerence against her probing questioning. If he was a wall before, then now he looked like a fortress. Cha Eun Sang felt that she had to make one more attempt to make a dent before she gave up. At least he was listening…or seemed to be.

“You are right. We are not friends. We never were friends. But how could we be? Friends share things…….hopes, fears, pain, secrets….and support each other through it all. You know, before I stepped into your charmed world of money and fame, I was rather naïve. My mother and I hovered on the edge of your glitzy world and I must confess, I thought you, all of you have an easy life. But then I moved into Kim household and met Kim Tan. I saw how different things were. Yes, Kim Tan didn’t have to worry about finding money for school but he had his own set of struggles. Our priorities were vastly different and we belonged to two different worlds. But over time, I came to see him as more than just a chaebol heir. He was an illegitimate son who longed for his father’s love and hated his authoritarian ways, he was a kid brother who pined to be accepted by his older brother and he was a helpless son who wanted to protect his mother against societal censures. He had guilt, he had regrets and he had hopes…..for a better future. I came to know all that because he trusted me enough to share his thoughts, feelings and confessions with me. All of a sudden, we could relate to each other as flawed individuals. But we knew that we were each other’s confidantes and had each other’s back. Us against the world……that’s what brought us together and kept us together. You………I don’t know the first thing about you. Whatever I know about you is what I have seen and what others have told me. Can you blame me if my perception of you is less than rosy?”

Choi Young Do took a few seconds to recover from her narrative, having flinched at every mention of her ‘love story’ with Kim Tan. Despite that he had managed to take cognition of her grievance. He just didn’t know how to defend himself without telling her the whole ugly truth about his life. Where could he begin? When did it begin? When did he change from a run-of-the-mill, privileged boy into an angry and bitter teenager, hell bent on destroying everything and everyone, including himself? How does one open himself up when there was only darkness that he could share of himself? What could he confide that was not besmirched with sordid family secrets?

“I love dogs.” Choi Young Do said the first thing that he could come up with in his mind that he could share without reservation, almost relieved that at least that trivial information was unimpeachable.

It was Cha Eun Sang’s turn to stare in incomprehension, “What?”

“Well, there you are…. I shared something about myself.” Choi Young Do said with a shrug of his shoulders, trying to look still in control.

Cha Eun Sang snorted involuntarily in the process of stifling a laugh but failed to wipe away the smile that hugged her lips. She wanted to reach out and touch Choi Young Do, if only to reassure him that he didn’t have to try so hard. It would take time for the defenses to come down, one piece at a time. That is if he was willing. Outwardly, she wanted to acknowledge his tiniest attempt, so that he felt that every bit counted towards the bigger goal.

“All kinds? Or just a particular breed?” Cha Eun Sang managed to sound absolutely sincere. In a way she was behaving like she did with Sunny. His tiny world had issues that seemed huge to him, even though it amounted nothing in the adult world. She often played along so that he didn’t feel belittled or excluded.

Choi Young Do tilted his head to the side, trying hard to ascertain if she was merely patronizing him. He could discern no significant evidence to that effect so he ended up answering honestly.

“All kinds. But especially the so called ‘ferocious’ ones…Pit bull, Rottweiler, Dobermann, GSD.” He was quiet for a