junsu p.o.v

why did you leave me without words...i tried so hard to understand but i can't ...i think back on our life together and i only remember us being happy and loving. we fought yes but we always made up. was it something i did? did i not satisfy you anymore? please i just want to be clear and know why you decided to leave me without and explanation. i won't be able to move on if i cant get this clear.

i visited your family's home when i asked your mother what happened to you she started to cry she, looked up at me and with a cold glare, she began to hit my chest and screaming for me to get out. i left i decided to not contact her for a while. your sister than contacted me and told me that i didnt need to worry that even though you left me without words that you loved me.....

she began to cry and hugged me when she finally calmed down a bit she looked at me with puffy red eyes. she began to say "........ he was sick, he didnt want you to worry and wanted us to keep it from you. i told him he should but he just wanted to live the time he had left with you with complete and total happines. he had cancer, he lost his hair because of his chemo therapy. he told you it was because he wanted to change his style." i let out a breath i didnt know i was holding. my vision was blurred i couldnt say anything i started to cry, i fell to the floor because i knew what her next words were. i started to yell and hit things.

your sister watched me she saw the pain i was in and she tried to stop me but i just cried into her chest she just held me and just kept me from going crazy. " he passed away a week ago we are burying him tomorrow i came here to tell you my mother wanted me to because she wanted you to know the truth." i told her i would go and that i was happhy she told me. with that she left. " i kept crying after she left asking why you didnt tell me, why didnt you let me be there for you. i was angry but i thought hard about it and realized that i would've done the same thing so i understood i went to your funeral i went hoping to not breakdown but i did everyone there knew about us and we were accepted they understood why i was like this, they all knew but me. i wasnt angry i knew that you did it so i wouldnt worry. i came home and took out the pictures we took when we first got together for christmas 4 years back and cried and while looking at your pictures i told you how much i loved you, how i would always keep you in my heart. i wont forget you but, i will try to let you go. saranghaeo......