Kyungsoo cleared his throat nervously.

Being a journalist has been his dream since he was fifteen, but he never imagined that he would be this nervous to interview someone. Perhaps because that someone is Kim Joon Myeon, one of the most well-known writer over Korea who goes with the pen name Suho.

He got himself sitting in front of Kim Joon Myeon, with a pen and notebook. 

"So..." Kyungsoo cleared his throat again. "May I start now, Sir?"
Joon Myeon shook his hand. "Don't talk formally with me. I suppose our age difference isn't that much."
"I'm twenty two years old."
"I'm twenty four." Joon Myeon added, "You can call me hyung."
"Alright, hyung." Kyungsoo responded, even though hyung still sounded awkward for him.
"You want some tea?"
"Water is fine."

Joon Myeon stood up to take a glass of water for Kyungsoo, while Kyungsoo's eyes were surfing all around Joon Myeon's apartment. He thought it would be so messy, but in fact, Joon Myeon's apartment was clean and neatㅡwhich is rare for a writer to tidy his own apartment. To be honest, Kyungsoo didn't find anything special on Joon Myeonㅡexcept the fact that he is good looking among all of writers he has metㅡbut beside that, Joon Myeon isn't different with typical writer in general. Tired face, noticeable black circle around his eyes, and messy hair. He looks.... normal.

"Sorry, there's no lemon. Is plain water fine?" Joon Myeon said as he back to his seat.
"It's okay." Kyungsoo said. "Shall we start?”
Joon Myeon nodded. "Go on."
"Is it true..." Kyungsoo spoke carefully. "That you used to be depressed?"
Joon Myeon gave him a small smile. "Yes."
"If you don't mind, can you explain me what kind of depression was that?"
"Well.. It's a short-term traumatic depression."
"Traumatic?"
"Yes." Joon Myeon answered. "When I was kid, my mom and I were kidnapped. I saw my mom was killed, right in front of my eyes. I was so young that time, and... Yeah, I was kind of trauma."
"I'm sorry."
"No need to. I'm fully recovered now, as you can see."
"Sir, I mean, Hyung." Kyungsoo said. "There are some rumors that your latest book came from your true experience. Is it true?"
"Ah, you mean, The Sound of Autumn?"
"Yes, that one."
Joon Myeon smiled. "Personally, what do you think about that book?" He asked back.
"Me?" Kyungsoo's eyes widened, didn't expect that question to come out of Joon Myeon's mouth. "It's good, but.. The ending is too sad. I heard many readers also cried because of your story."
"Everyone wants a happy ending, right?" Joon Myeon laugh bitterly. "But sadly, not everyone get it. Sometimes, there's no such a thing as happy ending."
"Hyung?"

Joon Myeon closed his eyes for a while as he was recalling the memories back. He looked at Kyungsoo deeply before he said, "Let me tell you... reality behind that story."

October. Falls. 

Some people might hate autumn, but there's none who hates autumn as much as Joon Myeon does. Autumn was his mother's favorite season, but sadly, it was also the season when his mother has gone away forever. He cringed down before his mother's grave as his fingers ran over it slowly.

"It's been years, right Mom?"

He slightly smiled, knowing that his mother would never answer him. "I'm sorry." He muttered. Just how many times has he said sorry? Hundred times? Thousand? It has been many times. He thought he would feel better by saying sorry, but no, he didn't feel any better. All these years, his father always put the blame on him. 

You killed my wife.
If your mom didn't save you, she wouldn't have to die.
She should be the one who alives instead of you.

The young Joon Myeon had to hear all those cruel words came out from his own father's mouth. He had accept such a heavy burden on his small shoulder and up until now, he still carried the same burden. The thought that he was the one who cause his mother's death will never leave him, and causing him in a depression instead. 

Kim Joon Myeon, twenty two years old, was suffering from a depression.

"Is everything alright?" Kim Min Seok, his psychiatrist, questioned him.
"I.. I think I need new sleep pills."
Min Seok noted it on his small paper. "Still can't sleep?"
He nodded. "I almost can't eat anything too, especially rice and other main course. I'll always vomit it out, so.. I only eat bread. It's been like this lately."
"Have you tried psychotherapy?"
"No."
"I suggest you to start the therapy as soon as possible." Minseok said. "I'm afraid it will become worse. You can come here twice a week, what do you think?"
"I'm still kind of busy with my new book" Joon Myeon thought again. "But I think I can come once in a week."

Joon Myeon let out a deep sigh as he left Psychiatrist's room. I'm afraid it will become worse. Minseok's words kept repeating on his mind. Joon Myeon himself has never imagined that he would be more depressed than this, and it started to freak him out. Was he finally going insane? 

He stopped thinking when a soft melody came into his ear. He clearly recognized that it came from the piano at Hospital's ballroom.
Mom. That was the first thing tha