It's so short!! I'm so proud of myself, i wrote something short and easy and sweet! I had a tough day yesterday and I came home and spit this out in like, an hour. Such nice stress relief. PS the Hoseok in this story is not the BTS member. It’s just a name I made up, I didn’t even know it was J-Hope’s real name.

Make the Fireflies Dance

Sehun barely remembers the girl who kissed him when he was ten, he just knows that it happened. For a while he told the story to his classmates and they all agreed that he’d gotten his first kiss before any of them, but after a while the story lost its appeal, to Sehun at least. That was around the time he started realizing that girls really weren’t his thing. He was fourteen and a friend was staying over at his house, and they were just going to sleep when Sehun blurted the question that he was dying to ask.

“Why do we even like girls? Like, why?”

“s, dude,” his friend muttered. “And other girl parts.”

Other girl parts. “But why?”

“I don’t know,” his friend said. “Procreation?”

“Are you thinking about procreating when you stare at that girl you like?”

“I’m thinking about something.”

“What is even like? Who actually knows?”

“People who’ve had . My brother says it’s fun.”

And they ended up looking at on Sehun’s computer, and to Sehun the whole thing just seemed obscene. The guy kept saying things like “You’re so wet for me.” All Sehun had to say to that was

Eew, gross! Why was it wet? What made it wet?!

Ugh, it was disgusting. If was like that, Sehun was going to become a monk, they were excused from it.

When Sehun was just a few weeks shy of sixteen, he saw a boy glancing at him in the locker room. When Sehun caught his eye, the boy turned away and blushed, only to look back after a few seconds. Sehun ended up finding a reason to stay behind, and so did the other boy. He was in Sehun’s grade, they were on good terms but hardly spoke. His name was Hoseok, and he was pretty cute. If Sehun noticed that kind of thing.

“Hi,” Hoseok said, fiddling with his shoelaces.

“Hi,” Sehun said back.

“You’re…good. At soccer,” Hoseok said, blushing even more. “Better than me.”

“You’re pretty good. You’re fast,” Sehun said, “That’s important.”

Hoseok beamed at him. “Thanks. So…um…do you have a girlfriend?”

He was direct. Sehun could admire that. “No. I don’t think much about girls.”

“Me either,” Hoseok said, lowering his voice to a whisper.

Sehun didn’t exactly remember what happened next. There was more talking, and then there was kissing. The kissing is what he remembers the most, because it was the first time he’d actually felt something akin to what the romance movies and dramas and novels all talked about. Except until then, he didn’t understand why kissing brought butterflies to people’s stomachs or made them giggle and blush. Now he knew.

The thing with Hoseok carried on for a few weeks, until they both decided to just move on. They weren’t dating, they didn’t want to date each other.

“You’re really pretty, and really cute,” Hoseok said to Sehun while they were ‘breaking up,’ meaning that Hoseok was kissing Sehun’s neck and Sehun was tracing the faint outline of Hoseok’s abs under his shirt. “I’m glad we did this, even if it was only for a little while.”

“Me too,” Sehun said. “It was fun.”

And that’s all it was, fun between boys in the locker room. How was it any different from the flings that girls and boys had with each other? Teenagers were hormonal beings surrounded by other hormonal beings, a little fooling around was almost expected. At least Sehun had been careful, and it had stayed innocent.

Suho isn’t Hoseok, not by a long shot. For a while Sehun feels conflicted for liking him, because Suho is so gentle and loving to everyone. He gets why Tao sometimes calls him ‘Omma,’ because in many ways Suho is like a mother. But Sehun has a mother, he doesn’t need another one. Instead he sees Suho’s care as something a partner would do. Sometimes he feels like he already is Suho’s boyfriend. Suho always looks out for him, makes sure he eats enough, watches him and seems to just know when Sehun’s in a bad mood. And they talk, about things that Sehun never dared to tell his mom. And Suho makes him feel like it’s okay, like Suho will never judge him or turn him away. Isn’t that what boyfriends do? Isn’t that what love is like?

Oh, but it’s beyond that. If Sehun’s fling with Hoseok was innocent, what he feels towards Suho is the opposite. Sehun wants Suho to do things to him, things he can hardly think about because he’s being watched by eleven other people, one of whom can sense his emotions. Sehun can’t quite say why he feels this way, but he feels like there’s this other side to Suho, one he tries to hold back. A side that is not innocent and gentle. Like when they go shopping, and Sehun overhears people talk about him. That he looks like a model, or he has a nice . Things that make Sehun preen under the attention and bring Suho running. At first Sehun didn’t notice, but it seems like every time he hears those things, Suho is right there with an arm around Sehun’s waist or shoulders, pressing his lips to Sehun’s cheek in what to all the world, and the rest of the team, is just Suho’s way of showing affection to a friend. Suho kisses Tao and Chanyeol, even Lu Han sometimes. But that’s in private, at home, when they feel so awful that Suho would do anything to remind them that he loves them.

But when Suho kisses Sehun in public, even though it’s on the cheek, it feels…possessive. It feels like Suho is saying, he’s mine, don’t look at him like that. Sehun loves that. It’s not overbearing, Suho doesn’t stop Sehun from going out or wearing his favorite skinny jeans, he doesn’t beat people up when they talk to him. But he has this little way of saying, he’s mine. And Sehun is his, whether Suho knows it or not. And it’s moments like that when Sehun’s imagination gets the best of him and he imagines Suho’s hands on his hips, in his back pocket, teeth in his neck to leave a mark, hands touching his chest and belly, whispering into his ear “Mine, mine, mine.”

Oh yes. Sehun has it bad for Suho.

When they’re at the club, and Baekhyun Sehun’s cheek, in the moment he’s too grossed out to really process what’s going on. It hits him, what Baekhyun’s done, when Suho is pulling him away, glaring at Baekhyun, and wiping his hand down Sehun’s cheek.

“Poor thing,” Suho croons. “Getting attacked by that uncultured wolf.”

Sehun’s heart races. “I’m alright,” he laughs, giddy at having Suho’s attention all to himself, even in this crowded club.

Suho takes his hand. “Have you had a drink yet?”

Sehun shakes his head. “I wouldn’t know what to get, hyung. I don’t really like soju, and I’m not sure what drinks are good.”

Suho nods. “I guess you wouldn’t know. But that’s why I’m here. Come on, let’s get you something.”

Suho leads him to the bar and they squeeze their way onto two stools. Sehun doesn’t hear what Suho orders, but when it arrives it’s brightly colored and filled with fruit.

“You have to be careful with something like this,” Suho tells him, “Especially the fruit, because it’s been soaking in wine all day. Try it, I swear it’s good.”

Sehun tastes it, and Suho is right, it’s delicious. It’s crisp and sweet, and not over powering. He tries to drink it slowly, but it’s the first thing he’s had all night and half of it is gone before he puts the glass down. Suho’s ordered himself a drink, and two glasses of water, one of which he slides Sehun’s way. Sehun drinks it slowly, hoping Suho can’t see his blush.

“You don’t have to babysit me if you don’t want to,” Sehun says, yelling a little over the music. “I’m sure there are cooler people you could hang out with.”

Suho shakes his head. “No way, no one’s cooler than you.” He puts his hand on Sehun’s knee. “And I’m not babysitting you. We’re friends having fun.”

Sehun relaxes enough to take Suho’s hand and hold it loosely. He wishes he was more confident, that he could lean in a few inches and kiss Suho. This is how it happens, isn’t it? Meeting in a club, having a drink at the bar, talking for a while, that spark you can’t deny, dancing, kissing following naturally, then . That seems to be the way. That’s what Baekhyun and Jongdae are doing.

When the drinks are gone, Sehun gets up and tugs on Suho’s hand. “Will you come dance with me again?” He asks, heart racing.

Suho grins at him and stands up. “Sure.”

They go back to the dance floor, and Sehun loses track of time and how many songs are played. He has eyes only for Suho, all he cares about are Suho’s hands on his hips and the way Suho looks at him.

Sehun makes the first move. He leans close to Suho’s ear and whispers, “I really like you, hyung.”

Suho groans and leans against Sehun, head against his neck. He mumbles something that Sehun can’t hear, and when he looks up Sehun kisses him.

Suho threads his fingers into Sehun’s hair and tugs him close, so close that Sehun’s senses are overwhelmed by the feeling of his body heat and the smell of his cologne and shampoo. Sehun closes his eyes and lets his lips part, he moans when Suho into his mouth. This isn’t like what he imagined, it’s so much better, so much ier. He wonders how he tastes to Suho, if Suho can taste the sweet drink he just had, because Sehun can taste Suho’s drink on his tongue, heavy and bitter. Sehun grips Suho’s hips, fingers curling into his belt loops, his whole body winds tight like a spring, he feels wild and happy, and so excited. This is the best kiss he’s ever gotten.

Suho yanks away and Sehun’s about to pull him back when he catches sight of Suho’s wide eyes. That’s not the reaction of someone who just had the best kiss of their life.

“I’m sorry,” Suho gasps, “Holy crap, I’m so sorry Sehun.”

Later Sehun will look back and wonder how he managed to smile and laugh like it meant nothing, when his whole world was crashing down around him. He smiles for the rest of the night, all the way back to the car, where he laughs with the others about how Jongdae and Baekhyun are long gone already. He smiles in the apartment as he gets ready for bed. He bids Suho goodnight cheerfully, thanking him for a night out. But it’s different, they don’t touch or even really look at each other. Sehun wants to cry, but he doesn’t have that right. Who is he, what is he, to Suho really? He should have expected this.

Jongdae and Baekhyun come home the next afternoon, with matching hickeys and rumpled clothes. They look tired, but happy, and they’re holding hands. They eat together and look at each other with so much love in their eyes. Sehun thinks that it could have been him. But it’s not him. Because he’s seventeen, and he’s too young for Suho, probably. He should have expected it, but it still hurts.

After the mission, Sehun knows that he has to keep his promise to himself. He keeps their new puppy close, knowing that he’ll need something to hold onto if things go south. Suho comes into the room after his shower and spots Sehun on the bed with the puppy.

“Put him down before he pees on the bed,” he says.

Sehun slides to the floor. Hero yips and at Sehun’s face, Sehun kisses his head and tries not to cry. The little guy is so sweet, Sehun adores him already. Suho sits next to Sehun and pats his shoulder.

“You alright?”

Sehun nods. “Today was…amazing. Really, I can’t believe we basically saved six hundred people from being infected with plague! And we got a puppy out of it!” He laughs and chokes back a sob. “I’ve always wanted a dog,” he sniffles, and Hero whines and tries to his eyes. Sehun hugs him close and tries to get a hold of himself. His mom was allergic to dogs, he and his dad always wanted one.

Suho rubs the back of Sehun’s neck. “You must have wanted one badly to be crying about getting one now.”

“I really did,” Sehun says. He smiles at Suho. “Thanks for letting us keep him. We will take care of him, really.”

Suho rolls his eyes. “Famous last words,” but there’s no bite in his voice.

Sehun turns his attention to Hero, scratching him behind his ears. He’s nervous, really nervous, but he remembers the promise he made himself. He’s alright, Suho is alright, but next time they might not be so lucky. He saw how close they came to losing Kris, he’s not going to take any chances.

“Um, Suho…”

“Yes?”

“I have something I want to tell you.”

Suho waits. Sehun inhales deeply, trying to gather his nerve. He keeps his eyes on the puppy. “I just want you to know that…that I’m really mad at you. For saying you were sorry after you kissed me.” Not exactly what he wanted to say, but true nonetheless. He is angry, and hurt. “You don’t kiss someone and then say sorry. Like it was a mistake. Actually, I kissed you. So if it was a mistake then it was my mistake, and you should have told me, but you didn’t.”

He can hear Suho gulp. “Oh, oh. Well…it was…it wasn’t…” he sighs. “It wasn’t a mistake, exactly. But I over did it, I think, when I kissed you. I was too…much.”

“Then you should have told me,” Sehun says. “And I would have told you that I liked it and thought it was perfect.”

He risks a glance at Suho. He looks upset, and tired.

“You’re seventeen,” Suho tells him, like he doesn’t already know. “I’m twenty one.”

“So it is an age thing.” Sehun says flatly.

“Kind of. That wasn’t how I wanted our first kiss to be.”

“Then how did you want it?” Sehun asks.

Suho looks really upset. He shrugs. “Sweet, and gentle. And I wanted you to know that I was going to be careful with you, and kind, and I was going to take care of you and make sure you felt safe. I didn’t want to kiss you when you were tipsy, when we were in a damn club surrounded by strangers.” He inhales shakily. “That just…it felt so cliché. And you deserved more, and better. You’re seventeen, and you’re so new to all this, and you’ve seen so much these past few weeks, a lot of it was bad. I wanted to…to make our first kiss more than that, I wanted it to be good. That’s why I said I was sorry. And I knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as I said it, but I didn’t know how I could take it back.”

Sehun feels like he could cry. “But our first kiss was good,” he says. “Because it was us. And for the record, you already make me feel like all that. I felt all that when you kissed me, but I also felt…new. Like I wasn’t just this high schooler who knew nothing. I have changed, Suho. Sweet and safe is nice but so is y and spontaneous. I want that, too.”

“That could have been our second kiss,” Suho mumbles. He runs a hand through his hair. “I wish I’d said this sooner. I’m…I’m sorry that I didn’t. I wish I could do things differently. You have every right to be angry with me.”

“I’m not angry anymore,” Sehun tells him. And it’s true, he’s not. He knows that Suho did what he thought was best, and he understands how hard it is to take something back. Since their kiss things have been a little crazy, he can’t say that he blames Suho for not saying anything. Suho is their leader, he has a lot on his shoulders. Sehun can understand that.

“I still like you, a lot,” Sehun says. He takes Suho’s hand and holds it gently, giving Suho the chance to pull away if he wants to. “Can we…can we try again?”

Suho looks surprised. “You’re willing to give me that chance?”

“Yes,” Sehun tells him. “I’m not going to lose you because of this. It was a misunderstanding, and I know you have a lot to worry about, and it’s been as hard for you as it has for me.”

Suho’s eyes fill with tears. “I should have said something. Every explanation I could give you feels like an excuse. The mission, the other team members, my own fear…I didn’t know what to say beyond ‘I like you and I want another chance, if you’ll give it to me.’”

Sehun’s breath catches in his chest. “You…you do like me then?”

“Of course I do,” Suho tells him. “I’m kind of a jerk about it. I really can’t stand when people stare at you when we go out, I feel like…like they’re all wrong to look at you like they know you when they don’t. I don’t mean to be so possessive, I swear, I just…feel like you deserve better. I can’t promise I’ll be better…”

“You are better,” Sehun interrupts. “You’re a hundred times better, you proved that now when you apologized and admitted you did things the wrong way, and I forgive you for that, though I know I really didn’t have to be so mad at you. We’re both at fault, I could have said something sooner too, and I’m sorry I didn’t, because if I had maybe we could be kissing and cuddling now, instead of crying.”

Suho laughs at that, and he stops looking so tearful, so Sehun considers it a victory. He’s ready to move beyond this.

“Suho, can we have our second kiss now?”

“I’d really like that.”

Their second kiss is slow and sweet, and it makes Sehun’s heart flutter and his toes curl in his socks the same way the other one did. They sit side by side, the puppy sleeping in their laps, and they kiss for a long time. It’s wonderful, and Sehun is so happy. And if the smile on Suho’s face is anything to go by, he is too. Later they can talk about spontaneous and y, right now Sehun thinks slow and gentle is just what they need.

So cute these two ^^