Dear my wife,

I miss you so much. I really-really miss you. Don’t want to tell you this because I’ll only make you sad…I cried again last night, with our daughter in my arms. She easily went to sleep everynight, probably she feels my sadness. Sadness of missing you baby.

I really miss your kisses and hugs. I missed to hug and kiss you everyday and night. The coldness I feels inside is indescribable. No matter what I do, I’ll think of you. Everytime I walk, everytime I run, everytime I awake and everytime I sleep…I’ll think of you. Whenever I close my eyes, I can feel you watching me and smiling back at me but when I opened my eyes, there was no you. I believe that you always here with me, by my side, didn’t leave even for a second. I can feel you…

Today, it’s 179th days after you left me. Counting every moment in my heart and soul of the day you went away. For 179th days, I spent my days and nights missing you. I know you’ll hate this but I can’t stop my tears, it’s flows like a rainfall. Because you left me so soon and im not even ready to send you away.

Our daughter, her name is Mia. I named her with your name because she resemble you so much. From eyes to the smiles. She’s growing into a beautiful baby, just like you. Because her mommy is so freaking beautiful that makes her daddy fell in love at a first sight.

You melted away my heart everytime you smile.

I miss you so much.

Now you are so far away, I can’t hold you anymore.

This morning, I went to your parents’s house and saw your portrait on the wall. Big and beautiful. I cried infront of your parents and our baby. Mia cried in my arms because I cried so much. She saw me crying ever since the night you went away. Its been 6 months she saw me drowning into my own tears. I tried to stopped myself, tried to held back this tears but it won’t stop. Everytime I want to stop, your beautiful face and voice hit straight to my heart. I just can’t, im sorry baby…

I miss you so much.

I think of you days and nights, couldn’t stop eventho I tried…

It’s already 1:25 in the morning now. Im writing this letter because I missing you so damn much. Can’t seem to find someone to comfort this feeling so I spill it out on this white paper with the help of a black pen. I bought these from your favourite store. Do you remember? We spent our dates a lot there.

The way you look at me still playing on my mind like a cassette. Repeating and non-stop.

Our daughter is sleeping right now after a bottle of milk. Few hours ago, I showed her your photos. She giggles and touched your face with her tiny fingers. She even kissed you and im surprised to see that. She’s smart isn’t she? Just like you, beautiful and smart…

The clock is ticking away second by second, I can hear it out loud. After you went away, I spent the nights alone in the balcony and staring at the stars on the night sky. The brightness of the stars reminding me of you because when you smiles your face glows.

I swear, it’s true.

I tried to touched the stars but I can’t because it’s too far-far away…Just like you…

Are you here with me now? Are you standing next to me? Do you read this letter?

Im so cold without you by my side. Everynight, I put Mia to sleep, I held her tight and won’t let go til she fell asleep. She’s so warm, she’s sweet like candy, just like you baby. I kissed her face thousand times, it’s like Im kissing you. She is our daughter and she looks so much l