Stay.

Is that too much to ask for?

All I ever wanted was you to stay with me, by my side, even if it’s just for a while.

Stay.

I held her hands, so tight, as if it was the last time he could hold those warm hands, hold her tight so that she won’t go, hold her so that she won’t leave me, just, hold her. “Do you really have to leave? Do you really have to end the memories we have built together?” I stared into her eyes, with full of love and sadness.

 Love is something interesting and very mysterious. They say breaking up is love too, but isn’t it just a waste of time? Why break up when you loved each other? Isn’t it torturing?

I felt so tormented.

“I’m sorry Myungsoo, I am very sorry. We did love each other but really, nothing went wrong. I just wanted to end everything, I’m going to quit. Let’s end this relationship.” She couldn’t even look into my eyes, she’s tearing up. Jiyeon, look at me just one last time. Look into my eyes, Park Jiyeon. Those angel eyes that used to shine in my life, and forever will be. “I don’t want to. We loved each other, we even promised to grow old together, watch over our kids having their own kids, our grandchildren. Are you tired of me? I’ll change, I’ll be a better person. If you want me to leave music, I don’t care as long as I’m with you, got it? Don’t ever think of leaving me.” I begged her, I wanted her to stay.

Stay until my tears dry up.

Stay until you understand me.

Stay or maybe you can just wait a bit.

“No! Don’t ever think of leaving music. Music has connected us together. I love it when you’re making love to your guitar, I love it when you put all of your emotions while playing. I didn’t want to leave you because you’re too busy with your band, never. I’m tired, Myungsoo, really. I was the one who always waited for you. I guess I was dumb enough or maybe I just didn’t understand love.” I hugged her, she broke into tears. She leaned her head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Jiyeon. Maybe sorry isn’t enough to make up everything, don’t leave me. Please, stay.” I wanted to cry, too. This cold heart, why won’t it let me to cry? I’m tired as well.

Please don’t make me write a song. I don’t like to write songs about you…

Stay as the main person in my memory.

Stay until I can see you.

Stay inside my memories.

“Let me go,” Jiyeon hesitated. She pulled off the hug and walked away. I wanted to run after her, why aren’t my legs moving? Dammit. “Jiyeon-ah, Park Jiyeon.” I cried out calling her name countless times, she won’t turn back, never did once.

Please keep a bit of warmth like this.

I already feel cold now that I’m alone.

Even if you left me,

And nothing is beautiful anymore.

I already feel dirty now that I blame you.

.

.

.

.

I don’t understand why did she leave. 

-2 years later.

I swear I saw her walking down the streets wearing that white plain dress used to give her; she has always loved white. I ran to her, calling out her name; “Jiyeon-ah, Park Jiyeon.” I didn’t see the cars coming. She turned around to see who called her, and so I waved at her. “Jiyeon-ah, it’s me, Myungsoo!” The cars might be losing out of control that it didn’t stop, that I was the only one who can stop the car. I was lying on the road, blood stained my cloth, I didn’t feel anything. I was still looking at Jiyeon, she’s running towards me, “Myungsoo-ah, wake up. Please.” She cried out for help, she didn’t realize that I was smiling. “Wake up, Myungsoo.” She was crying, her tears streamed down her cheeks, dropping on my face.

Finally the ambulance came and the paramedic team lifted me up and put me on the stretcher, checking my pulse. “You guy, hang in there, okay?” “Please save him.” Jiyeon asked the paramedic, “I’m sorry, we can’t do anything, we’re taking him to the ER, please wait.” Jiyeon nodded weakly, she must’ve been shocked. After 2 years of parting, she had to see me lying down like this.

.

.

.

.

I’ve been asking myself, if I were to stay, will Jiyeon come back to me? My life was all miserable from the day she walked out of my life. I left the band and spent the whole time alone in the house, working on arts. I never touched my instruments, neither guitar nor piano, not even once. I seemed to be giving up on life, but I’ll try to find her again, fix everything up.

“Myungsoo-ah, the doctor said the surgery went well. You’re such a good boy. You did lose quite amount of blood, but it’s okay you don’t have to worry about it, everything is fine.” Jiyeon held my right hand and put it to her cheeks, feeling the warmth of my hand. She kissed my hand gently, her lips were still the same, the touch was still the same. She never changed. She was still beautiful Jiyeon I used to love, until now. “They say we should talk to the person even if he’s in comma, they still can hear us. Probably you didn’t know, I was waiting in front of your house all the time. I saw you were throwing things away, broken glasses everywhere. Why won’t you take care of yourself? When you went out to buy food, I sneaked in to your house, it was in a huge mess. I guess you’ve been wondering why your house is still clean after the mess you did, right?” She laughed, it was really precious. “If only you would wake up and see me again, I wanted to hear your music, once again. I missed it. I’m sorry I left, I didn’t want you to quit your band. I thought you’d be probably doing well if I leave. I am really a fool, am I? I saw you suffered, but didn’t go to you and comfort you. I was afraid.” She was crying again, I wanted to touch her hands telling her, everything’s okay, I wanted to hug her…

Now,

How do I get back into my body?

a/n: okay... i'm trying to do the sequel let's see if i'm not lazy enough to think.