A thousand and four days ago, what did I do? when I still had you?

A Thousand and four days ago what did I didn't do when I still had you?

These questions run through my mind everyday.. for an instance, Yesterday, I asked myself ; A thousand and three days ago ,what did I do?.. these questions always come ramaging through my head everyday..well atleast everyday after the day you left.

I remember.

I remember the tears that went down your face as you agressively shooed them away. I remember every harsh word that left scars on my heart to where they came from were none other than your own lips. I remember the door that you almost broke when you left my apartment without haste.. Yes, I remember a lot of things from a thousand and four days ago, But I still ask.., A thousand days ago, what did I do?

Did I ever shed any tears that mirrored yours? Did I kneel down and begged you not to leave? Did I capture your lips with mine and say that everything was going to be alright and we can pretend that none of this ever happened? or Did I just simply pretend that we were nothing more than just merely two individuals that once showed affection to one another?

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done.. Help me leave behind some, reasons to be missed. Don't resent me, and when You're feeling empty..Keep me in your memory.. Leave out all the rest.

Forgetting..all the hurt, you've learned to hide inside so well.. 
Pretending..Someone else can come and save me from myself.

I can't be who you are.

I can't move on.

You're haunting me.

Every last word you said still lingers in my head.

You need to stop, Daehyun. You need to stop. But why won't you just leave me alone?!

I know, You know that I regret ever doing the things I did a thousand and four days ago.. But why? why do you keep coming back?

I know I should've just let you go, set you free..but I guess I just loved you too much to do that.. and still do..

I am sorry though.. I take it, you would have been better off without knowing me..But we just had to cross paths, Aye?

I knew I shouldn't have done what I did. I wish I shouldn't have done what I did. I knew I should've just let you go.. But get this..I was not the same Youngjae you once fell in love with..but that still isn't a good enough reason to why you still keep visiting me.. in my dreams, my imagery, my mind. It's driving me crazy.

Maybe I shouldn't have gone too far, a thousand and four days ago. Maybe if I hadn't done what I've done then you still would have been beside me.. whispering sweet nothings in my ear and telling me that you love me all over and over..

I'm guessing this'll all end , all the visiting, the haunting, the pain..if I do end my existance like you always told me to..so I can join you, right? You want to be with me again, don't you? Don't worry.. it won't be long..

but just know that I regret doing what I did a thousand and four days ago.. that I regret enjoy seeing your blood stain the walls of every corner in the hallway..Yes I regret it..because I still do love you..

I'll see you soon, Daehyun..It won't be long..

_______

(A/N: Yup Jae's the psycho here.. I just felt like writing it so yeah :/ )

(  ._.) what a sad life I live in.. 
but thanks to B.A.P it light up! so thank you B.A.P!

#Happy1000dayswithBAP