Warning: not edited

3. Looking for a solution, finding more troubles.

It was the first time in months that he actually dared to take his car and guide around, but for this destination there wasn't a public transport fast enough to satisfy his urgency. Where he was going? Well there was one and only place where every member (and he suspected even all the shinee members) would go when in trouble, to be patted on their head with kindness, to be lectured even, but more than anything to be listened by someone who didn't judge. And Minseok hyung never judged anyone.

So Zitao that morning, even though he had the most horrible hangover ever, dragged himself out of his apartment, texted his hyung he was coming and speeded towards his place. He hoped Minseok would prepare for him his special soup , the one able to revive even deads. Generally Minseok had always been pretty useless in the kitchen however there was a dish he could prepare without the risk of poisoning the others and it was a soup. Nobody knew what ingredients had however the members found out its miracle virtues a night of 9 years ago when Jongdae and Baekhyun had exaggerated with the bottles of soju and had managed to make drunk even Yixing (Zitao will never know how he ended up waking up in Luhan's wardrobe). Anyway.

Despite his hangover, that what causing him a massive headache, he remembered quite everything Like iy would be easy to forget the conversation with him.

How much time had passed since they talked like that?

8 years?

Shisus.

“Zitao?”

Zitao could recognize that voice even when being in the way of getting wasted; even after all those years. It shocked him so much that he chocked on his beer, hanging up in the process, making the phone fall without grace on the bar. Godammit.

Sehun who didn't know who was on the other line, laughed at him like the little brat he still was

“ It's not funny!” Zitao whined angrily, as he took a napkin to wipe his chin, wet from beer.

“Who was calling you, the devil?”

Zitao glared at him but then his cellphone vibrated again, the display lightening up, the call of the unknown number.

“ Well aren't you going to answer?” Sehun

“ It's the bastard” Zitao retorted like that was enough to close the argument. Well apparently not for Sehun who understood immediately to which bastard he referred to, the only bastard of Zitao's life, and picked up in his behalf, making Zitao shriek like a teenager girl discovered spying his oppa by the same oppa.

“Yoboseyo?” he answered calm and casual. Zitao was hating him so much in that moment. Why Oh Sehun, why?

“Oh, Yifan ge, it's Sehun” the latter then said, calling him ge like it was the most natural thing in the world and not like it had passed years since the last time they heard each other.

Or maybe not.

For what Zitao knew this traitor could have been fraternizing with the enemy behind his back.

“ Yes he's here. He was actually paying our drinks and he hang up on accident. You know he never had been good in multitasking. Mmm. Yes now he' s free, I'm going to hand him the phone, bye ge. It was nice to hear you. Well bye”.

And with the same calmness of his tone he handed him the phone.

Zitao cursed at him under his breath but at that point he would have looked like pubescent boy if he hang up this time, besides on purpose.

He inspired, long and deep.

C'mon he wasn't a 21 years old child anymore. He was 27 and he could stand a phone call with his arch-enemy.

“ Yes”

“Zitao, is this you?”

“ No. Actually is a ghost. Of course is me, Yifan” he retorted, no honorifics, no kindness in his voice. Just fake Zitao, don't show how much he is affecting you.

“Thank you for answering this time” and he said with such a relief in his voice that Zitao's inside chummed from the intensity of his feelings. “ Anyway, how are you. It's been a while. Hope you are good” he said tentatively, but also with an tenderness that felt burdening. Has he always been so sweet?

“I'm doing well.” he said formally.

“I'm glad” then none of them seem to find words to continue their conversation on. There was a time when it wasn't even necessary to try, to just get along. Yes, in another life.

“ Why dare you calling Yifan” Zitao asked suddenly exhausted. “ it's late you could have called during day”. And since when you have my number? ing Yixing.

“ you never answered, and to say the truth I didn't even know you would have answered this time. I just tried. It seems I'm on luck today” he said nearly humourus. And Zitao knew there was probably a smug of his face like he had all those time Zitao tricked him succesfully and even he still let him pass.

“well now I'm doing it. So tell me, I'm all ears.”

And it was true. He then stoop up from his seat, motioning to Sehun he was going out of the pub to talk in privacy and listen to what Wu Yifan wanted to tell him after years of a silence. Silence sentenced by him of course: it wasn't like Yifan didn't try. Zitao kept pushing him away, year after year , after he in the end gave up.

Zitao had been missing him all the while along.

Sometimes he was afraid that even though there was no reason to be at each other throat anymore, he would have never been able to let it go.

“Ah. Well. This is so awkward..”

“ I don't have all the night you know”

“ OK, ok...” he heard him sighing “the last time we talked you wanted to kick me and you were right. Because despite the external reasons what mattered the most is that I failed you. But I don't want to talk about this now. Zitao, it had passed so much time...” his voice faded but then he resumed in a steady voice “I just wish to be able to work together again.”

The Yifan Zitao used to know was childish like him even though he tried to act collected. The Yifan he used to know was a fluff of ball of sunshine but an awkward mess in expressing what he really felt. He was grumpy, logic and a bit of a narcissist. The Yifan he used to know was the same one that was talking now with him like it had never passed a day from the last time they stay side by side. And the Zitao now wanted nothing but to cry and scream, because the time, the feelings and the mess they became.

“ I'm still reflecting upon the different offers. I won't exclude any of them for the time being. Really. I'll be crazy to do that” he added laughing nervously.

“Good. I'm happy to hear that.”

“Well now, I have to go. Sehun is waiting for me”

“ Bye Zitao. Keep safe. And thank you”

Zitao hang up before Yifan managed to say something able to tear him apart.

Of course after that call he needed a drink to drown his feelings to never let them surface again. Sehun tried to stop him but Zitao apparently didn't listen to him. The er could have tried harder but at least he had the decency to put him to bed. “I'm proud of you Zitao” he heard him whisper before leaving. He could bet Sehun had eavesdropped all his conversation and he was having now a gossip reunion with Yixing. He sighed. Somehow along with Kris and Luhan withdrawal Yixing ended up not only taking care of him but of Sehun too. So the latter acted like the second brother who reported to his mother what his the troubled sibling was up to.

Bwa. They could gossip all they want,

He the radio to just zone out his brain, he looked casually in the mirror. Gosh he looked horrible. Minseok would thoguth he survived a rave.

After half an hour he recognized Minseok' neighbourhood and he slowed down the speed. Minseok had been dating the same girl for three years now: she was the physiotherapist intern that treated Minseok injured ankle back then when he had an accident during a concert. AT that time she didn't had a clue of who Minseok was: that added to her caring were surely the charm and Minsoek had courted her since than and fort hat purpose he visited the clinic so often to have become a nuisance ( and nearly starting a rumour of him not being well). Zitao found it cute to know that even reliable Minseok could be so reckless when it came to love, but Minseok had always been a romantic guy. They announced their relationship something like two year before and the marriage was fixed for the end of that year. Zitao knew that would coincide basically with the end of his career as a singer. It wasn't like he would let out of the music industry completely since he was an appreciated Radio DJ and his contract with Sm was still running. But since he had co founded a music art academy he had started to really understand and enjoy the work behind the scenes.

“ I realized the dream of my childhood, I have nothing to ask” he once commented to Zitao but he couldn't help but wonder if the pressure SM had been putting on him during the years to fulfill the spot left by Luhan, was too much for him. At least Minseok was happy.

Zitao recognized the complex building where Minseok lived. He had bought the apartment for himself and his soon to be wife, thoughtfully placed near the clinic she worked. In the meantime however, was still his bachelor cave an often the members payed him a visit for advice.

Zitao parked, much more like threw, his car in the first available space, impatient to receive his remedy. Once he arrived at his apartment's door he didn't waste time in knocking but simply typed the code that every member knew by memory (Zitao knew that after his marriage it wouldn't be like that anymore) and invited himself in.

“ hyung it's me Zitao” he shouted as he took off his shoes, noticing there was another pair.

Oh. Who could it be?

“ Zitao we are here in the kitchen”

Curious he quickly walked towards the source of noise. Minseok hyung was taking a bowl and a glass from the table in front of which was seated a smiling Jongdae. Even in his state of despair Zitao noticed that Jongdae didn't seem to look better than him and with another glance he realized that the now empty bowl probably contained the famous soup.

“Hyung tell me, you have still some” he exclaimed.

“ Seems like we have another hungovered here” Minseok hyung teased.

“yeah. Anyway good morning hyungs” he said as he seated next to Jongdae and plastered himself on the table, his head resting on his crossed arms.

“ good morning indeed huh?” said Jongdae laughing quietly ruffling ad he massaged in circle motions his back. No matter how many years had passed, Jongdae still took care of them like they were his precious little donsaengs still in their teens and early twentys. Zitao enjoyed the touch observing from his fringe, Jongdae's tired face. Minseok said another hangovered, but Jongdae stopped drinking so much after the epic hangover in 2013, so for him to get wasted, well he had it worse than him. Plus he went to Misneok which meant something was definitely buggering him. Hmm. It seemed like he wasn't the only one in deep .

“Hyung seems like like you have another lost kid from the unknown island here, so I leave you two alone. See you soon guys” he said winking as he stood up. Zitao frowned. What the heck was going on? He met him with Yixing not even two weeks before and he seemed fine. What had happened since? Zitao wanted to know but honestly he had too much in his hands for the time being. He hoped Minseok hyugn helped him since he couldn't do anything. He really liked Jongdae and he reminded himself to check how he was doing after he felt better. Maybe he could ask Yixing since he and Jongdae were really good friends.

“ Yeah, yeah, keep safe ok, you are too old for this you know peter pan” they heard the melodic laugh of Jongdae coming form the frontdoor and then the door shutting.

Zitao snickered because never nickname was more suited. Because Jongdae was one of those rare kind and young soul who would never get old, spacing free like the air and warm like sunlight in spring.

Minseok sighed shaking his head.

He then eyed Zitao arching his brow.

“ and you my 27 years old teenage, what happened to you?” asked him in a motherly tone

“ Hyungggg”

“ Oh god, you kids will be the end of me” but he stirred the rest of the soup in the pot, ready to serve one bowl to Zitao too.

Once again Zitao was grateful to have met such wonderful hyungs in his life.

After a Minseok 'revive deads soup', and at least one litre of water, Zitao felt less ty and more himself. He told Minseok all the story from the beginning, leaving no detail out. He already knew some of Zitao's concerns about his contract but he haven't been updating him about the latests news.

“ so that's it” said Zitao restless. “Hyung I really don't know what to do. Yixing won't help this time and I couldn't ask anyone but you”

Exo never didn't officially disbanded but Sehun and Baekhyun left, and with Minseok going on hiatus and the other focused in their own careers, there weren't family reunions anymore. There wasn't going to be a Junmyeon hyung dragging them all together, to discuss and magically resolve the matter. He knew he could eventually ask the members but he didn't wanted to bother them and wanted to resolve by himself. But Minseok was different. He was always their big brother afterall.

“Ah my Zitao, sure you don't have it simple hmm.” he said smiling at him motherly. There was something about his hyung that would make you feel like everything was resolvable. Like everything was possible.

“Hyung”

“ Yixing is right the decision is up to you.

“ But”

“ I can assure you that no matter what, we still keep in touch. Yesterday Luhan called at 3 in the morning to bother me about well... his private matters, so if that is one of your concerns please forget. I'm afraid we are stuck to like. And Zitao, we sacrificed so much for our dream, I think is time we catch our fruits. We deserve it”.

“Hyung the thing is, I don't know anymore what I want. I worked so hard to have my spot, to make my life dram true and I found you along the way and that was a blessing. But now everyone is taking their way... I just don't know which is mine. China is my homeland but...” you are my family

“ You still have time to decide. Take some days for you. Go out, get some fresh air”

“ And where should I go hyung?”

“ I don't' know maybe a travel in China could help”

“ Are you serious?”

“Aside from what will be your final decision, I think life gave you another chance.”

“ If you are talking about him

“ Yes I'm talking about Yifan.”

Nobody had talked to Zitao about Yifan since a long time ago. Sure, they discussed when he first left to share their opinions and they talked another time, years later when most of the members got in touch with him again ( even though some, like Yixing never cut the bridges). But since Zitao always showed himself so adamant in not wanting to have anything to do with him, eventually they stopped bringing the topic.

“Well I think it's time for you to meet, don't you think?

“Why everyone is so eager to send me to China?”

“you are wrong. We are eager to make you two meet. It's different.”

“ wait. What?”

“ Zitao you used to stick together like like yeot, you were so close to out do even Luha and Sehun in their trainee days, which is a lot. You communicated with each other in a way nobody could understand or even get in the way. Then everything fell down and when even after years there seemed to be no solution, everyone thought it was pity.

“I didn't, I...” Zitao was at loss of words. When Yifan left, he felt like a part of himself was being ripped. He lost a brother, a friend, and his confident. He moved on, but deep down he knew that no matter, what he would have always been 'missing', and it was his fault. How could he not be furious? So he took his anger and transformed in determination, living proudly the decision the was made for him. However after 8 years it was starting to make no sense anymore.

“Make him come here, go you there, but meet! Even if you refuse his company's offer... honestly I think your uncertainty comes from your unresolved matters.”

“ Hyung, not everyone is bound to have a happy ending. Some things go to waste and just that.”

“ Go and meet”

“ I'm understand why Jongdae always complained you bossed him around.”

“ And see how well he grew up!”

Zitao laughed quietly.

“You don't leave me much of a choice”

“ I always thought Yixing was too lenient with you.”

“Believe me, he can be a pain when he wants.”

“Still he pampered you to much.”

“hush sometimes I think you Yixing and Kyungsoo organize reunions to exchange tips abut education.” for a moment he imagined the scene and laughed hard.

Minseok arched his brow

“yah, don't change topic. Go and resolve.”

Zitao nodded defeated.

Minseok ruffled his hair like he used to do a long time ago when Zitao was too tired to move muscle aside form resting his body on the thick floor of the practice room.

“You know your soul mate doesn't exactly need to be your lover”

but Zitao didn't understand.

He left Minseok's apartment half an hour later with a lot of thoughts in his head and more questions than before. Well he had the an answer now but he didn't like it at all. He sighed.

He went toward his parked car ready, impatient to go back to his apartment and possibly take a shower and rest. But when he put the hand inside his jacket pocket to grab the key he found it empty.

What the …

Exactly at the same time the door of his car opened apparently by himself.

Zitao looked inside.

There seated comfortably in the passenger seat with all the air to have just woken up from his nap, was Kim Jongdae, a mischievous smile adorning his face.

“ I took your key before leaving. Will come in or not? It's pretty chilly you know”

“ Jongdae, what are you up to?”

“ Just come in. We have some gossip to do, you and I” he said winking.

Oh my god.

Author's note: ha ha ha Chen's is in! I have some plans for him, he si going to spice up things! ^O^ Imagining them in the future is so fun, I hope to be able to put all the members somehow!  Anyway I hope you liked the chapter and sorry for taking so long but the University's exams are killin me!

Thank you so much for you comments <3 

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