“I’ve been waiting forever for you to say these words”

 

This wasn’t supposed to happen Youngjae thought and he was close to panicking when he processed the fact that a pair of lips were pressed against his! He felt a pair of hands make their way around his waist and pull him closer and his instinct made him close his eyes tightly, but his mind was racing a million miles per minute.

 

This was bad

 

The other boy tried to deepen the kiss but Youngjae was way too frozen and after a bit he pulled back needing to fill his lungs with air. At the same time after a couple of deep breaths, oxygen made its way to Youngjae’s brain but he still couldn’t think properly

 

This turned into a mess and Youngjae was in the middle of it all

 

“I never thought you liked me and let alone confess first” Youngjae gave a small tight smile at the boy’s words and the smile he got in return was blinding, he almost started blinking rapidly

 

“Yongguk-hyung…” Youngjae felt dizzy and just when he was about to fall backward because the pair of hands retreated from his back, he felt the same pair of hands on his biceps steadying him.

 

“Youngjae, I really like you… maybe more than just like” the older talked slowly in his deep, raw voice and Youngjae knew he was in deep . This wasn’t supposed to go this way

 

“I am not feeling well” Youngjae’s voice shook as he lowered his gaze “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

 

“It’s a date” Yongguk said brightly “I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you where we’re going”

 

Youngjae opened his mouth, he wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but he was interrupted by a pair of lips pressing against his for a couple of seconds and his vision went black. When he came to his senses he saw Yongguk waving before closing the door behind him.

 

What just happened?

 

“What just happened?” Daehyun voiced his thoughts as he and Himchan appeared by the door, while Youngjae started at the place he last saw Yongguk

 

“I don’t know”

 

 

“Let’s prank Yongguk hyung” Daehyun clapped his hands like it was the best idea in the world

 

“I’m in” Himchan agreed stuffing his mouth with gummy bears, his eyes on the tv in front of him

 

“That’s the worst idea ever, but nothing happens in my life so I’m in” Youngjae says from his position over the table, engrossed in his biology book

 

“Great, the bookworm is in, this ought to be good” Himchan says in a bored tone, making Youngjae glare at him

 

“Good, because I have an idea” Daehyun smiles and Youngjae is momentarily scared like he knew that he would end up in deep

 

“Why me?!?!” Youngjae’s eyes widen as Daehyun and Himchan reveal their master plan

 

“Because I don’t feel like fake confessing to Yongguk-hyung” Daehyun fake gags

 

“And I don’t think  I can look at him in the face for more than 5 seconds, and let alone pretend to be into him for two whole weeks” Himchan scrunches his face

 

“You’re more suitable for the role! You’re a great actor. Also we’re your hyungs” Daehyun adds with an almost innocent look on his face

 

 

If not then, the moment Yongguk started avoiding him and blushing whenever Youngjae started acting like a high school girl around her crush, he should have known this was and even worse idea than he thought.

 

“Oh my god, he really is avoiding you” Himchan chuckled as Yongguk pretended not to see them and sit a few tables away in the café near campus they visited often.

 

“You really are a great actor” Daehyun nods

 

“I’m at it and you know it” Youngjae rolls his eyes sipping on his coffee

 

“You are the best roommate ever” Daehyun throws his hands in the air almost hitting Himchan, who was sitting next to him

 

“Contrary to my roommate who is pretending not to see me because he doesn’t want to sit next to Youngjae” Himchan fake pouts

 

“You practically live in our dorm room anyway” Youngjae raises his eyebrows and turns to look at where Yongguk was sitting, only for his eyes to meet the said older boy’s.

 

Yongguk adverts his eyes immediately and lowers his gaze on the coffee in front of him. Youngjae for some reason blushes too, maybe because he caught the older staring, but in a way he also got caught.

 

“Aaaaand action!” Daehyun whispers just as Youngjae pushes his chair back and grabs his cup to go join the older. It was what he was supposed to do anyway.

 

 

“Why do I have to sleep on Youngjae’s bed… WITH YOUNGJAE” Yongguk looks like he’s having a panic attack and he won’t look Youngjae in the face

 

“You don’t have to sleep with Youngjae, that would be gross with us in the room, just sleep next to him” Daehyun smirks and receives a pillow on his face from the younger who was laying facedown on his own bed

 

“You can sleep on my bed I’ll sleep on the floor” Youngjae sits up in his bed, glaring at Daehyun who was standing in front of his own bed and Himchan who was spread on the couch, repeatedly. 

 

“There’s no space on the floor” Daehyun points out as Youngjae considers the small space between his and Daehyun’s beds. He could easily suffocate and have a cramp on his back for the next week.

 

“Also I called the couch and Daehyun’s bed is smaller” Himchan says nonchalantly

 

“They live in a dorm room, the beds are the same!” Yongguk points out and Youngjae sees this as an opportunity to act

 

“Hyung! Are you saying you would rather sleep on the same bed as Daehyun-hyung?” Youngjae pouts and looks truly devastated, making the other two pranksters almost burst out laughing

 

“N-no that’s… not w-what I meant” Yongguk scratches the back of his neck “I shouldn’t have come here to sleep-over knowing how little space there was! Maybe I should just go…”

 

“Hyung!” Youngjae shouts frowning and pouting at the same time, managing to look cute like always and Himchan coos, not to mention Yongguk’s eyes soften immediately “Don’t dramatize it! It’s just a night”

 

“I-i… uhhh… o-okay” Yongguk says and makes his way over to Youngjae’s bed who was patting the space beside him, looking like he received the best present ever.

 

“Just so you know… I’m a cuddler” Youngjae smiles as Yongguk lies down next to him looking awkward as hell, and immediately wraps his arms around the older. Youngjae takes a deep breath as he makes himself comfortable, arm over Yongguk’s chest and his leg draped over both of Yongguk’s “Ahhhh you smell really nice!”

 

“Eww you two, go to sleep and don’t get cheese all over me” Himchan snickered from the couch that was placed really close to the end of both beds, seeing as the dorm room was quite small

 

Youngjae pretended he didn’t feel the heat radiating from Yongguk’s cheeks as he rested his own cheek on the elder’s shoulder.

 

“But hyung I thought you liked cheese” Youngjae smirked making Daehyun cackle from the other bed

 

“Shut up!” Himchan huffed and turned around on the small couch, facing the back-rest as Daehyun turned the light off

 

“Youngjae-yah…” the younger felt the chest under his cheek vibrate and smiled at the feeling

 

“Goodnight hyung” Youngjae interrupted and Yongguk had no choice but to let out a deep sigh and accept his fate

 

“Hyung can I come with you?” Youngjae smiled and attempted at aegyo, baby voice and all

 

“Uhhh… I’m just going to get snacks at the convenience store nearby, nothing too exciting” Yongguk looked at Youngjae cautiously, before smiling at the cute expressions

 

“I still wanna go with you” Youngjae hugged Yongguk’s arm close to his chest “Can i?!” he batted his eyelashes and honestly it felt pathetic even to Youngjae but he was supposed to lead Yongguk to think that he liked him, so maybe it was worth a shot in his pride

 

“I never said you can’t, I just don’t understand why you would want to go out! You are usually pretty lazy if I might say so”

 

They were this time in Himchan and Yongguk’s dorm room, since it was bigger with them being seniors and such and once again they were having a sleep over.

 

“I just like being in your presence” Youngjae smiled big. He was surprised how things were coming so easily to him

 

“I-i… uhhh… You… Let’s go!” Yongguk turned to prevent Youngjae from seeing his reddening face and the smile that was tugging on his lips

 

“Will you buy me chocolate?” Youngjae asked somewhere between the dorms and the store

 

“I knew there had to be a reason why you were this eager to come!” Yongguk smiled and Youngjae smiled back “I would have bought you chocolate anyway! I know how much you like that stuff”

 

“Who doesn’t?” Youngjae reasons, and Yongguk nods “Okay I admit i came partly for chocolate”

 

“Partly?” Yongguk lifts his eyebrow

 

“Yes”

 

“What about the other part?”

 

“I think I told you earlier, if you remember!” Youngjae smiles and Yongguk looks kind of unsure before smiling back.

 

“Because I don’t tease you as much as Himchan and Daehyun?”

 

“They’re the worst! But that’s not the only reason”

 

“What is it then?” Yongguk frowns slightly before smiling again

 

Youngjae thought this was the most perfect moment to end the prank, since the situation presented itself.

 

“Hyung…”

 

Just say it

 

“Yes?” Yongguk looked at the younger

 

“You are my favorite hyung” Youngjae smiled, convincing himself that Daehyun and Himchan deserved to see Yongguk’s face when he fake-confessed

 

Yongguk laughed a deep but sweet sound filling the air

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Yes”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because”

 

“Because I buy you chocolate?”

 

 

“Hyung! Are you up?” later that night Youngjae propped his chin on Yonnguk’s bed from his position on the floor.

 

Yongguk had made sure to make up a make-shift bed for Youngjae on the floor with lots of fluffy blankets, while Daehyun slept on the couch. Perks of being older

 

But Youngjae could swear the pile of blankets was more comfortable than his own bed. They smelled a lot like Yongguk too

 

“Hmmm?” Yongguk seemed to be asleep

 

“Hyung?” he tried again but no answer. Yongguk was sleeping soundlessly, his chest rising and falling steadily. Youngjae shrugged and carefully walked around the bed, wiggled himself into Yongguk’s bed behind the said boy, trying not to wake the older up.

 

At one point during the night Yongguk woke up on the same side he fell asleep in. He heard Himchan’s light snoring and shifting on the other bed and he remembered that Youngjae was supposed to be sleeping on the floor between his and Himchan’s beds.

 

He smiled to himself and craned his neck too look down only to see a pile of ruffed blankets but no cutely sleeping Youngjae. He looked around the room from his position on the bed and he noticed that Youngjae was nowhere to be seen.

 

He panicked for a moment looking once more down and sure enough Youngjae wasn’t there.

 

“Youngjae!” He said in a low voice and just when he was about to jump from the bed, searching for the younger, he felt the pair of arms, he hadn’t noticed earlier, tighten around him and a warm breath hitting his neck.

 

“I’m here” he heard Youngjae’s sleepy voice and almost laughed at how relieved he was. Not like something would happen to Youngjae because his and Himchan’s dorm room was like a minute away from the other two boy’s, but Youngjae had once mentioned that he sleep walked when he was sick or stressed, so he worried that the boy could have somehow locked himself outside the room, or even worse what if he was sick?

 

“Did you sleep-walk into my bed or something?” Yongguk turned to face the younger boy

 

“No, I just couldn’t sleep on the floor” Youngjae cuddled closer to the older

 

“I thought you said the blankets were comfortable” Yongguk chuckled deeply hugging the other back

 

“They were, but I felt trapped between Himchan-hyung and your beds! Besides you looked more comfortable”

 

“You’re right, my bed is more comfortable” Yongguk smiled

 

 

“Treat me to dinner?” Youngjae pleads in his baby voice smiling cutely. He was mastering his aegyo now that he knew that Yongguk had a soft spot for it.

 

“I’m not falling for that! Go to Yongguk hyung and use your charms, he seems to dig that ! I don’t even know why, you’re ugly” Daehyun ignores Youngjae’s pleading and continues tapping away on his phone

 

“I’m not ugly! You are” Youngjae as the mature young man he is, sticks his tongue out “Everyone digs my cuteness”

 

“Sure” Daehyun rolls his eyes

 

“YOU OWE ME!”

 

“I don’t own you anything brat” Daehyun looks at Youngjae like he was a disgusting thing that should be thrown away

 

“I will ruin your plaaa-haaaan” Youngjae sing-songs, earning himself a serious look from his roommate “Treat me to diner or I will drop out of the plan and Himchan hyung will force you to fake confess to Yongguk hyung. You know how much he loves this plan it’s not even funny! I could even tell Yongguk hyung about the prank”

 

“Oh no you wouldn’t” Daehyun glares at his roommate

 

“Oh yes I would” Youngjae wiggles his eyebrows

 

“You wouldn’t” Daehyun tries again

 

“Watch me!” Youngjae grabs his phone and dials Yongguk’s number

 

Daehyun looks kind of terrified. He thinks Youngjae is just playing around so he’ll get what he wants but he doesn’t want the two week effort go to waste. Everything they have done the past two weeks… gone in a phone call

 

“Youngjae?” Yongguk’s deep voice asks from the other line through the interphone and Youngjae smiles devilishly

 

“Hyung!! How are you?”

 

“I’m good? Why did you call me again, we just talked to each other like an hour ago? Did something happen?!”

 

“Not really I just thought I should tell you….”

 

“NOOO!” Daehyun jumps Youngjae closing his mouth and trying to grab the phone witch Youngjae was waving around in the air away from Daehyun’s hands.

 

“Youngjae? What just happened? Are you okay?!”  Yongguk sounded worried and Daehyun felt like killing Youngjae at the moment

 

“Okay, Don’t! I’ll treat you just don’t!” Daehyun mouthed and let go of Youngjae’s hand

 

“I’m fine hyung” Youngjae said chuckling

 

“What was that sound?”

 

“Just a dog on the street scared me” Youngjae seemed like he was having fun at Daehyun’s pissed face

 

“That sounded a lot like Daehyun’s screeching” Yongguk said and Youngjae burst out laughing

 

“Hey!” Daehyun protested “I don’t screech”

 

“Knew it! So Youngjae, what were you going to tell me before that awful sound filled my ear?” you could practically hear Yongguk smile through the phone

 

“As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted” Youngjae used the opportunity to glare at Daehyun “Daehyun hyung is treating us to dinner, so you should come over. Bring Himchan hyung too! He isn’t treating Himchan hyung, but maybe they should split the bill because we are so amazing and make their days better and they are so grateful to have us”

 

‘I’m going to kill you!’ Daehyun mouths and Youngjae just bats his eyelashes

 

“Sounds great!” Yongguk chuckled “I don’t have anything to do anyway and neither does Himchan! He has been complaining for the past hour that he might go crazy from boredom. Maybe we should do something else afterwards?”

 

“I don’t see why not! We’re waiting, don’t be too late!”

 

“What have you done? I’m a poor college student!” Daehyun whines when Youngjae ends the phone call

 

“Don’t lie! Should we invite Jongup and Junhong too?”

 

“Are you nuts? Let’s just go”

 

“What did he mean he likes you too?! What did he mean maybe more than just like? WHY DID HE KISS YOU?” Himchan was close to panicking and to be honest so was Youngjae.

 

“Why are you panicking hyung? He didn’t kiss you, he kissed Youngjae” Daehyun rolls his eyes

 

Youngjae like on autopilot had told the two what had happened 

 

“He kissed me” Youngjae says in a daze, staring into distance. He was now sitting on the couch looking in front of him “He likes me… oh my god what have I done?!”

 

“More than just like!” Daehyun corrects “That kind of means he’s in love with you! Wow, you’re screwed”

 

“What have I done?! How can I tell him that this was supposed to be a prank now? I played with his feelings! Oh my god I’m a bad person” Youngjae hides his face in his hands feeling like he’s about to cry

 

“Aw, don’t be harsh on yourself! You didn’t know” Daehyun tries to comfort Youngjae, patting his head

 

Youngjae lifts his head glaring at Daehyun

 

“You” he points a finger and stands up, making Daehyun back down “It’s all your fault”

 

“Don’t talk to your hyung like that” Daehyun tries

 

“HYUNG MY ! YOU KNEW HE LIKES ME, DIDN’T YOU?”

 

“I swear I didn’t know Youngjae-yah! It was supposed to be a prank… I’m not that bad” Daehyun looks genuinely apologetic “I’m sorry”

 

Youngjae sighs, pulling on his own hair

 

“What are you going to do now?” Himchan asks looking close to panic again

 

“I don’t know”

 

“What are you supposed to do? Tell him it was a prank. I’ll take the blame since it was my idea” Daehyun looks down

 

“I… I’ll hurt his feelings” Youngjae shakes his head

 

“Maybe he found out about the prank and wants to get you back?” Himchan suggests

 

“Maybe!” Youngjae nods “But… I don’t think he would do that! Besides…” he took a really deep breath “… he looked pretty genuine. It just felt so real, so full of feelings. I’m cruel”

 

“You don’t have a choice! You’ll have to tell him sooner or later. If not today then tomorrow! If not tomorrow next week or month! You’re not even gay, are you?”  Himchan tries to reason but Youngjae shakes his head.

 

“I-I… yeah you’re right. But I wasn’t mentally prepared for this! I can’t do that to him! He won’t ever talk to me! And we’ve developed a good friendship these past weeks”

 

“You mean the past two weeks where you were supposed to act like you were in love with him?” Daehyun raises an eyebrow and Youngjae feels his cheeks heat up.

 

“Well it sure brought us closer”

 

“Youngjae! Just go to sleep now! It’s late anyway and we can deal with this tomorrow, since we don’t have school and stuff” Himchan stands and pats Youngjae’s shoulder. Youngjae nods still standing in the middle of the dorm room. “I’ll go try to talk to Yongguk and listen to his version”

 

“Do you think I can sleep?”  Youngjae half whines half groans throwing his head back

 

 

Yongguk’s smile fades to a sad one once he passes Himchan and Daehyun who are looking at him expectantly. The bright smile on his lips must have fooled them as they looked more confused as ever.

 

His steps slowed down until he reached the door of the building in which Youngjae and Daehyun’s room was. He let out a deep sigh and let the warm spring wind hit him as he breathed in and out slow steps taking him towards his own room.

 

 

“He should have called by now” Youngjae paces around the room Daehyun follows him with his gaze

 

“Youngjae! It’s still 1pm! He’ll call! You never know maybe he isn’t up yet, it’s a Saturday”

 

“But Himchan-hyung said he was asleep when he went to their room last night! I don’t think he would sleep for 14hours!”

 

“YOUNGJAE! You’re acting like you’re scared he will cancel your date” Daehyun rolled his eyes “He will call, stop making a fuss”

 

“DAEHYUN! Shut up I just want this to be over already!”

 

“Don’t talk to your hyung like that!” Daehyun tries but at Youngjae’s glare he just shifts a bit back on his seat on his own bed “Yeah yeah hyung your ”

 

After a half smile from Youngjae’s part Daehyun tries again

 

“It will be over! Don’t worry, be calm! You’re wrecking my nerves as well”

 

“I really hate you for making me do that prank” Youngjae says calmly

 

“Well we didn’t force you into it! You were just getting bored because literally nothing happens to you except awesome grades because you’re a social reject”

 

“Not like you’re any better” Youngjae fights back

 

An hour, three fights and 100 rounds of pacing later, Youngjae’s phone starts ringing on his hand and startled he almost throws the phone out the window.

 

“OH MY GOD HE IS CALLING! WHAT DO I DO?!  Should I pick up?” Youngjae says after he finishes fumbling with his phone when the screen is finally facing up

 

Daehyun just stares at him stupidly, blinking 100 times per minute

 

“Right” Youngjae takes two deep breaths and answers the phone

 

“Hi Youngjae! I thought you weren’t going to pick up” Yongguk says after he hears Youngjae’s voice on the other end of the line

 

“M-my phone was just l-lost in a pile of clothes” Youngjae smoothly covers up his voice shaking. He hears Yongguk’s deep laugh but it kind of feels different from other times. He thinks how awkward things are going to get after today! Definitely the friendship that had gotten stronger the past weeks would be going to waste.

 

“And there I was thinking that you would be waiting eagerly for my call. Tsk”

 

“It’s not like that…” Youngjae blushes and his voice cracks when he hears Yongguk’s voice talk to him again

 

“I was just joking Youngjae. How did you sleep last night?”

 

“Great!” Youngjae tries to sound less miserable than he felt, he was sure he was failing though. The truth was he had barely closed his eyes thinking about the whole situation he found himself in just the past night. He planed what he would say to Yongguk and that stupid kiss just kept playing in his mind and he had to run three times to the bathroom because he felt like he would vomit.

 

“I slept well too! A bit excited about our date today, but happy”

 

And that sentence just made Youngjae want to go and throw himself of a cliff

 

He had heard that Yongguk hadn’t dated anyone ever since he had started uni. He assumed now it was because he hadn’t found someone he liked who swung that way. Himchan was flaming gay so he supposed Yongguk didn’t want to just get in a relationship with the first gay guy he met.

 

He kind of felt flattered but at the same time he felt like the world’s biggest

 

“Yeah… haha about that…can we…” Youngjae started and Daehyun’s eyes looked like they would pop out of their sockets any time, staring at Youngjae, wanting to hear what Yongguk was saying as well

 

“I thought we should go somewhere simple so we have a better opportunity to talk. Like have dinner at a small restaurant or something… maybe get ice cream or coffee after?”

 

Youngjae sighed

 

“How about we just get coffee? We need to talk”

 

“Dinner and coffee then! It’s a deal! I’ll pick you up at 7”

 

“Yongguk-hyung…” Youngjae started but the dialing sound soon filled his ear “ my life”

 

“Do I look okay?” Youngjae looked down at his dark skinny jeans and grey jumper that Himchan had chosen for him

 

“You look okay” Daehyun confirmed rolling his eyes

 

“Just okay? Not good or great?” Youngjae turned to look at Daehyun before examining his hair in the mirror once more

 

“You look good! Really, really good! Grey is definitely your color” Himchan nodded looking at Youngjae in thought “Or you could wear red! That looks great on you too”

 

“Guys! Youngjae doesn’t need to look really, really good or great because he’s going out with Yonguuk hyung and he doesn’t need to impress him because by the looks of it he already is impressed. And he’s just going to tell Yongguk-hyung that it was a prank and chances are he’ll get a glass of water or whatever he’ll order thrown at his face or a plate of food dropped on his head, just saying”

 

Himchan and Youngjae started at Daehyun who was huffing with his arms crossed across his chest.

 

“He’s kind of right” Himchan agreed “You don’t need to look better to get rice draped over your head”

 

Youngjae groaned throwing his head back and massaging his temples. He felt a headache creeping towards his forehead from all the stress he had since last night

 

“I hate life!”

 

“No you don’t! We know you’re going to be a successful doctor in the future and earn a lot of money and marry a beautiful woman and make cute babies just like yourself” Himchan pinched Youngjae’s chubby cheeks

 

“If my cheeks stay red for longer than two seconds I’m chopping your hands off” Youngjae threatens and Himchan immediately draws his hands back. “Better”

 

“Why are you so self conscious all of the sudden?” Daehyun frowns

 

“I’m not-“ Just then a knock echoes in the dorm room followed by Yongguk’s deep voice

 

“Youngjae-yah!”

 

“Oh my god he’s here! I have to leave” Youngjae spun a couple of times in circles seemingly searching for something until Daehyun grabbed him by the shoulders

 

“Your wallet is in your back-pocket, hand-phone on your front pocket, you put perfume three times already, you look perfect, door’s on your right! Just go already”

 

Youngjae rushes to the door, looking like a nervous wreck and puts a smile on before he opens the door

 

“Yongguk-hyung…”

 

The youngest stares at the older male surprised. Yongguk had dressed up quite nicely in black skinny jeans, a loose white t-shirt with a long and loose black cardigan his gummy smile in place

 

 

“Is there anyone you like?” Youngjae asked after taking a sip of his coffee, making the older look up looking a bit shocked at the sudden change of topics

 

“We were just talking about school, why-“

 

“Do you?” Youngjae leans forward on his elbows which were set on the small table they were sitting at on the small café they liked

 

“I…I-I … maybe? Why you asking?” Yongguk said wearily

 

“So you do!” Youngjae pouted exaggeratedly making Yongguk chuckle “Who do you like?”

 

“I asked a question first!”

 

“Curious! Now who do you like?!” Youngjae tries again but all he gets as an answer is a shrug.

 

“None of your business!”

 

“But I want to know!” Youngjae whines and then looks at Yongguk with pleading eyes

 

“Why don’t you tell me who you like?” Yongguk asked looking curious but also cautious

 

“I asked first” Youngjae protests

 

“I don’t care! If you want to tell me fine, if not, fine!” Yongguk shrugged again sipping on his coffee

 

“Hmmmm…” Youngjae smiled mischievously “You!”

 

Yongguk coughed as he tried not to get chocked to death by the coffee that went down his wind pipe. He heard Youngjae laughing and a weird feeling engulfed him

 

“That wasn’t funny”

 

 

“I’ve only been to this restaurant once before but I liked it so I thought we should come here! Hope you like it too” Yongguk smiles as he pulls the door open for Youngjae.

 

“It’s fine!” Youngjae says as he hesitantly makes his way inside and waits for Yongguk to lead their way to a random free table. “Anywhere would have been fine! Really!”

 

“I thought we would be more private here” Yongguk says pulling the chair for his ‘date’

 

Youngjae blushes as he takes a seat and he bites his lip when the older sits down across from him.

 

Immediately a waitress made her way towards the pair and Youngjae was thankful at her for breaking the awkward silence.

 

Almost the whole dinner went by with Yongguk talking and Youngjae only answering shortly or nodding while he ate. It was awkward and Youngjae felt guilty.

 

“Are you okay?” Yongguk asks after he pays for dinner after a 5 minute debate with Youngjae on who should pay and how they should pay.

 

“I-I… why wouldn’t I be?” Youngjae asks as they make their way towards the exit

 

“Because!” Yongguk stops a few steps after they’re out the small restaurant, grabbing Youngjae’s wrist and stopping him as well “This is so unlike you!”

 

Youngjae looks at the older and shakes his head! This is it! It would be best if he just told Yongguk what he had rehearsed the whole day.

 

“Usually you talk way too much and like to embarrass me! What is wrong?”

 

“I… Yongguk-hyung…”

 

“Is it because we’re on a date? Did you just turn into a shy boy because we’re on a date?” Yongguk coos and Youngjae thinks this is the hardest day of his life  “You’re the cutest thing ever”

 

“No! Hyung I’m…” Youngjae sighs. This is hard!

 

Yongguk looks at him expectantly, like he knew what was about to come. A serious look on his face an unreadable expression on his eyes

 

“Youngjae?”

 

“Can we go get coffee? We’ll talk while drinking” Youngjae hopes he’ll have enough time to gather up his courage to tell Yongguk that he’s sorry and that it was all a prank and blame Daehyun.

 

Yongguk looks at Youngjae for another couple of seconds and then smiles slightly

 

“Sure! Whatever you want”

 

 

“Do you think Yongguk-hyung will fall for it?” Yongguk hears Youngjae’s voice and stops before he has the chance to open the door of his own dorm room

 

“Of course he will! The worst that could happen is a priceless expression of him when you confess” Yongguk frowns as he leans closer to the door that was slightly ajar.

 

It was pretty late and the halls were quiet so he could hear the conversation perfectly.

 

“What if he gets creeped out and never talks to me again?” Youngjae tries to reason

 

“I bet he’ll understand a joke! Don’t worry Youngjae-yah!” Yongguk scowls when he identifies his roommate’s voice

 

Yongguk stands straight and thinks about bursting inside and telling them that the plan failed but just when he’s about to open the door for a second time he stops

 

“What if he finds out?” he hears Youngjae again

 

“He won’t” the oldest of the three talks again

 

“I really don’t want to do this!” Youngjae whines and Yongguk smiles to himself. Youngjae was too cute for his own self… except now he was planning to prank Yongguk! That definitely wasn’t cute!

 

Yongguk realized that must have been the reason why Youngjae was around him more than usually the past week and a half. He pouted as he leaned closer to the door again hearing Daehyun’s muffled voice this time

 

“I don’t blame you! I don’t know how you stand Yongguk-hyung’s nerdiness!”

 

Yongguk rolls his eyes

 

“Shut up Daehyun! Yongguk hyung is way better than you’ll ever be” Yongguk smiles at how annoyed Youngjae’s voice sounded

 

“Aweeeh is our dongsaeng really falling in love with our hyung?”

 

“Stop wiggling those eyebrows or I swear to god you’ll wake up without them!”

 

Yongguk chuckles to himself and decides to let it be. He wanted to see Youngjae act like he had the pas week and maybe just maybe he finally he had an excuse to drag Youngjae on a date. Maybe a prank of his own too.

 

“Do you have to tell me something?” Yongguk asks before sipping on his coffee “You look like you are debating with yourself”

 

Youngjae opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He just looks down as he walks, coffee in hand

 

“You’re cute” Yongguk chuckles lowly and Youngjae closes his mouth and feels his face getting hot

 

“Hyung stop saying that!” Youngjae breathes out “You’re making things harder”

 

Yongguk gets a serious expression again

 

“Just say whatever you’re willing to say. It’ll be fine”

 

“No it won’t!” Youngjae says slowly “Yongguk hyung…”

 

Youngjae stops and the older stops as well, facing the younger. He is dreading knowing what Youngjae will say

 

‘Hyung I’m not a ! It was supposed to be a prank!’

 

Yongguk shakes his head, trying to find his own way to tell Youngjae that he knew about the prank

 

“Hyung…” Youngjae tries again and when Yongguk looks at the younger he just can’t help himself.

 

 

 

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN’T TELL HIM?!”  Himchan almost faints the next day when Youngjae finally wakes up and tell them that he hadn’t had the chance to tell Yongguk that it was all a prank.

 

“I mean I didn’t tell him! I didn’t want to ruin last night! It was…”

 

“IT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO GO SMOTHELY! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM IT WAS A PRANK NOT ENJOY THE ‘DATE’” Himchan yells again and Daehyun just stares at Youngjae like he grew another head.

 

“WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME! IT DOESN’T AFFECT YOU IN ANY WAY! IT’S ME WHO HAS TO GO THROUGH…”

 

“SO YOU JUST LET THIS DRAG ON FOR A WHILE AND HURT YONGGUK EVEN MORE”  Himchan breathes heavily and Youngjae’s jaw drops

 

“I… didn’t think of it that way!”

 

“Youngjae! You don’t just think of yourself! You don’t just leave Yongguk thinking that you two are dating! He  might like you even more and hurt more when you tell him finally” Himchan says calmer this time

 

“He…I…Just… I …” Youngjae breathes out “Just when I was about to tell him he kissed me and the look in his eyes… I just couldn’t do it!”

 

“Oh my god he kissed you again” Himchan face-palms 

 

“Oooh… did you like it?” Daehyun winks making both Youngjae and Himchan glare at him.

 

“Do you want me to tell him for you?” Himchan asks and Youngjae shakes his head

 

 

“Are you avoiding me?” Youngjae asks as he catches up with the older boy who had a couple of books on his hand and his backpack hanging of his shoulder

 

“No” Yongguk says tiredly

 

“Then why are you running away from me?”

 

Yongguk slows down side glancing at the shorter boy. He looked so cheerful and …just cute with his hair slightly up and the red long-sleeve shirt.

 

“I’m not, just had a rough night”

 

He couldn’t sleep the whole night thinking about what he should do with the whole prank think. He didn’t know if he should ruin it before Youngjae did his part or just come up with a way to use this to his advantage.

 

Youngjae’s gasp brought him out of his thoughts again

 

“Are you cheating on me?!” Youngjae puts his hand on his chest in fake shock and Yongguk’s head snaps in his direction

 

“What?” and then it dawns what Youngjae meant “No… not rough like THAT! Even if it was like that, why would it be cheating? I just couldn’t sleep because… I was thinking about… things?”

 

Youngjae smirks

 

“What kind of things?”

 

Yongguk face-palms

 

Youngjae opens the door smiling and his smile freezes when he meets Himchan and Daehyun’s gaze who were waiting in front of the door arms crossed over their chests.

 

“You didn’t tell him again, did you?” Himchan sighs and Youngjae’s smile drops into a frown

 

“No…”

 

“Youngjae…”

 

“I know, I know I just… “

 

“It’s been two weeks!” Daehyun throws his hands up

 

“He keeps referring to you as his boyfriend… soon everyone will think you’re gay!” Himchan’s frown resembles Youngjae’s

 

Youngjae sighs

 

“I don’t think I can tell him… just… you haven’t seen his face…”

 

“You think?” Himchan snorts “He has that love-sick face whenever he talks about you… hell I can tell when he’s thinking about you. It’s just that… whenever he has that face on a few minutes after his face changes into a deep frown and he looks like he’s about to cry… I don’t know if that’s good or bad”

 

Youngjae bites his lip, thinking

 

“Are you turning gay for him or something?” Daehyun asks with an accusing voice

 

“Of course not!” Youngjae yelps

 

“Then tell him!” Himchan yells back

 

“I’ll… I’ll just make him dump me?” Youngjae tries “That way he won’t hate me”

 

 

“Hyung what’s your ideal type?” Youngjae smiles and Yongguk just looks up sadly

 

“What’s with you and all these questions lately?” Yongguk rolls his eyes

 

“Just curious!”

 

“Hmmm…” Yongguk stares at Youngjae “… I would like someone smart”

 

“Like Jungnam?” Youngjae asks and Yongguk scrunches his nose at the mentioning of the overly-nerdy boy from a year under him.

 

“No! And why did you have to mention a guy?”

 

“Because he’s smart?”

 

“No! I don’t like people like him… i would like someone with chubby cheeks, cute, a nice smile, funny, dorky…” Yongguk smiles to himself, lost in thought looking at Youngjae

 

“You look love-sick” Youngjae pretends to barf “You have someone in mind don’t you?”

 

“Maybe” Yongguk smiles and pops a fry in his mouth

 

“Who is she?!”

 

“Just… someone”

 

“If she doesn’t like you, I could totally pass as your ideal type you know” Youngjae wiggles his eyebrows “I’m smart, cute, funny, awesome…”

 

Yongguk bursts out laughing

 

“Maybe I was talking about you”

 

“Obviously, I just pretended not to notice” Youngjae flutters his eyelashes at the older who just shakes his head

 

“Ewww you two stop it!” Himchan yells as he opens the door and is met with the sight of his roommate and his boyfriend making out on the couch

 

“You weren’t here!” Yongguk shrugs but Himchan is busy glaring at the younger who tries to hide his blush on his boyfriend’s shoulder

 

“Anyway that’s disgusting! Eww” Himchan shudders and Youngjae just sticks his tongue out when the older turns his back, making his boyfriend chuckle

 

“You need to get laid”

 

Himchan turns around so fast, the two are surprised he doesn’t fall and glares at the couple

 

“Well too bad i’m not an who plays with people’s feelings” Himchan keeps glaring at his younger friend who starts squirming in his ‘boyfriend’s’ lap.

 

 

 “I’ll buy you that hat” Yongguk says when Youngjae removes the said item from his head and makes to place it back on it’s previous spot on the shelf.

 

“Really?!” Youngjae says excitedly but then his smile falls “No, you shouldn’t! Thank you for offering though”

 

“No I want to!” Yongguk argues

 

“But I won’t accept it!” Youngjae argues back

 

“But you look cute!”

 

Youngjae smiles at his hyung who is flushing red

 

“I look cute in everything”

 

“Don’t be a narcissistic and just take it!”

 

“At least I’m a cute narcissistic ”

 

 

“Will you buy me this shirt?” Youngjae puts his pleading face on and Yongguk sighs

 

“Is this why you’re dating me? To buy you stuff?”

 

Youngjae stops pouting for a second and looks seriously at Yongguk before his cheeky smile returns

 

“No, but you could make yourself useful seeing as you’re my boyfriend”

 

“I bought you three shirts already!” Yongguk rolls his eyes but smiles anyway

 

“Stop rolling your eyes before they get stuck that way! I will break up with you if that happens”

 

Yongguk chuckles at the diva that is Youngjae who puts his nose in the air before turning to the shirt that he was still holding

 

“Okay but just this one! Don’t ask for more”

 

“Really? Yayyyy” Youngjae hugs his boyfriend and places a small kiss on his jaw “You’re the best boyfriend ever”

 

“Yeah, yeah sure”

 

Yongguk watches as Youngjae’s eyes spot something right behind him and his eyes widen

 

“Woah, those pants would look great with this shirt!”

 

“Youngjae I told you…”

 

“Pleeeeease?!” Youngjae holds the shirt to his chest and pouts adorably at the older

 

“No” Yongguk looks away from Youngjae “Leave the shirt then and buy the pants”

 

“But I won’t have a shirt to wear them with” Youngjae whines and Yongguk feels like he will blow his soul out any moment from all the sighing

 

“Youngjae! It’s just jeans… they go with everything?” Yongguk tries and Youngjae pouts more

 

“Please babyyyy!”

 

“No”

 

“Honey?”

 

“No”

 

“Pum’kin?”

 

Yongguk pinches the bridge of his nose

 

“You’re the worst boyfriend ever!” Youngjae stomps his foot on the ground

 

“That’s not what you said earlier”

 

“I was just trying to make you feel better about yourself”

 

“What have I gotten myself into?” Yongguk looks at the light colored ripped skinny jeans. He didn’t doubt they would look great on Youngjae

 

“A beautiful relationship with the cutest guy ever”

 

Yongguk sighs again

 

“So you’re trying to make him break up with you by spending all of his money?” Daehyun asks looking like it’s the stupidest thing he’d ever heard

 

“Well not only that” Youngjae tries as he folds he shirts and jeans Yongguk bought him earlier

 

“It’s not going to work” Daehyun concludes

 

“But…”

 

“You two look like on a honey-moon! You two are constantly kissing and hugging and making out” Daehyun scrunches his face at the last word “I don’t know how you can do that and still exclaim to not be gay”

 

“He’s a good kisser?”

 

“Don’t!”

 

Yongguk sighs as he slams the door shut and leans his back against it. It was an exhausting day with Youngjae acting like a kindergartener and spending all of his money. He still couldn’t bring himself to be mad.

 

He was mad originally. Very mad

 

He hated how Youngjae was acting when all of this was a prank. Was Youngjae just using him?

 

He had expected Youngjae to tell him at their first ‘date’ but Youngjae hadn’t and he hadn’t brought it up either. Maybe he wanted to see how long Youngjae would take to crack, maybe he was just selfish, who knows.

 

“What happened?” Himchan asks as soon as he comes out of the bathroom drying his wet hair, just having taken a shower.

 

“Nothing except Youngjae acting like a spoiled kid and spending all my money”

 

Yongguk was mad at Himchan and Daehyun too. If they were part of this why didn’t they tell Youngjae to end this?

 

Himchan’s face showed distaste as he grabbed a set of clothes and started putting them on, since he was only on his boxers.

 

“How’s it going? With Youngjae I mean…”

 

“Good” Yongguk answered shortly

 

“How come I never knew you were gay before this?”

 

“You never asked”

 

“It never came up” Himchan shrugs “Youngjae isn’t treating you well”

 

Yongguk looks at Himchan quite surprised

 

“Did you two fight? Did he do something to you? You keep glaring at him and have this kind of face…” Yongguk scrunched his nose trying to impersonate Himchan “when you talk about him”

 

“Oh nothing really” Himchan smiles a big sweet fake smile “He’s just being an to a friend of mine, nothing serious”

 

Yongguk smiles. Maybe he should tell Himchan that he knows

 

“I know”

 

Himchan raises his eyebrows

 

“You know?”

 

 

“You’re quiet” Youngjae points out as he stuffs his mouth with food. They’re currently having breakfast at a small place in campus a week after the shopping spree on Youngjae’s part.

 

“Aren’t I always?” Yongguk replies as he sips on his coffee a cold gaze on his boyfriend

 

“You’re being weird” Youngjae looks at his boyfriend concern written all over his face

 

“As always”

 

“Yongguk…”

 

“When are you going to tell me?” Yongguk interrupts in a demanding voice

 

“Tell you what?”

 

Yongguk closes his eyes and lets out a breath slowly

 

“Youngjae, why do you keep dragging it? It’s almost our two month ‘anniversary’” Yongguk draws air quotes around the last word

 

“What do you mean?” Youngjae looks away from Yongguk’s face

 

“Youngjae, I know! I’ve known all along. There’s no point in denying it. Just admit it, I want to hear it from you”  Yongguk slams his hand on the table “Don’t you think it’s unfair?”

 

Youngjae’s eyes get cloudy as he looks at his boyfriend… if he can call him that. Youngjae knew what he was talking about. He was just hoping Yongguk was talking about something else

 

“I’m sorry” Youngjae looks at his lap, his tears falling feely down his face

 

“You’re sorry?” Yongguk snorts “That’s all you have to say?”

 

“I… didn’t mean to drag it…”

 

“But you did”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me then?! That you knew…” Youngjae looks up his eyes angry

 

“Just wanted to see how long you can keep being heartless” Yongguk was angry, no he was mad. After his talk with Himchan, he just couldn’t take it anymore. Youngjae kept acting like everything was fine and his feelings for the younger continued to grow. He didn’t get it! He knew that the younger was lying to him yet… he loved him

 

Youngjae sobs and wipes his tears with his hands.

 

“I was considerate!” Youngjae tries

 

“By leading me on?” Yongguk huffs “By making me think that you really like me? By making me hope that someday you might even love me?”

 

“But you knew…”

 

“What if I didn’t? You didn’t know that I knew about the prank”

 

Youngjae winces

 

“I didn’t want to hurt you, when I confessed you just looked so happy! And the date… it was cruel, to tell you it was a prank”

 

“And this isn’t? Making me get used to the feeling of having you, isn’t cruel? You were going to hurt me anyway, so why not make the pain bearable by telling me since the beginning! Why did you even do this?” 

 

“You knew since the beginning! So you pranked me back, you used me, you took the opportunity so can’t we just call it even?”  Youngjae started raising his voice, both of his hands gripping the table

 

“We can’t” Yongguk said quietly a tear rolling down his cheek “I really like you… whatever I did this whole time… it was real! I never acted, it was never forced! I just pretended this wasn’t fake and that you really liked me back… in the end that’s what is hurting me most”

 

Youngjae felt a lump in his throat that didn’t allow him to talk. He grabbed his throat and opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out. He felt something ache in his chest and he burst out crying

 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you” He whispers but the other just shakes his head and his deep voice cracks when he talks

 

 

“What do you mean you know about the prank” Himchan asks, color having left his face

 

“I mean I heard you talking about the prank. I know Youngjae is dating me for a prank, but isn’t it enough already? It’s been seven weeks” Yongguk spits out anger overpowering his calmness

 

“Yongguk-hyung” Himchan starts letting out a shaky breath “It was supposed to end the same day Youngjae confessed. He just didn’t have the heart to tell you after you told him that you liked him. Are you getting back to him by this?”

 

Yongguk grits his teeth

 

“I wish! This is backfiring to me… I thought I would prank him back but I just keep falling more for him” he shakes his head

 

“Hyung! You shouldn’t have done this”

 

“I was waiting for him to tell me and end this in good terms but… I don’t know anymore! He’s using me!”

 

“He’s trying to make you break up with him” Himchan walks over to the older and puts his hand on his shoulder “He doesn’t know how to tell you! I know he’s being an but he likes you a lot. He doesn’t want to loose you as his friend”

 

“This got out of hand” Yongguk sighs “At least I know I’ll only be here for a few more months and I won’t have to see him again”

 

“Hyung… I hope you’re aware that… Youngjae’s straight, he doesn’t like guys…”

 

Yongguk laughs bitterly

 

“Obviously”

 

“But he keeps kissing you and he looks like he doesn’t have a problem with it! Don’t you think that means something?”

 

“Come on Youngjae you can’t just stay in this room forever” Daehyun sighs sitting on Youngjae’s bed next to the later who was covered whole with his blanket.

 

“I don’t stay in this room all the time” he heard Youngjae’s muffled voice and rolls his eyes

 

“Going to classes doesn’t count”

 

“Then I’m willing to stay forever in this room…until I finish college” Youngjae replies in a raw voice

 

“It’s been a month Youngjae! You never acted like this even when you ended a real relationship”

 

And those must have been the wrong words because Youngjae starts sobbing and Daehyun feels guilty all over again

 

“Youngjae I know you feel guilty but in two months he’ll graduate and he’ll forget about this and I’m sure in a couple of years you’ll be laughing at this”

 

Youngjae starts sobbing even harder in a broken voice that makes even Daehyun’s heart break

 

“Hyung…” he starts and Daehyun has to lean closer to hear what the younger is saying “I don’t… the worst thing is that… I don’t want him to forget”

 

“What?” Daehyun asks unsure of what he heard was right

 

Youngjae removes the covers from his face and sits up, his hair a mess, his eyes swollen, his cheeks wet with tears and a look of despair on his face.

 

“I… I think I like him!” Youngjae breathes out and Daehyun’s jaw drops

 

“You look like !” Himchan snickers as he enters the room and spots Yongguk sprawled on the couch only on a pair of pajama bottoms. His hair is sticking in every possible direction and there are bags under his eyes.

 

“Thanks” Yongguk gurgles and Himchan has to sigh

 

“This impacted you more than I thought”

 

Yongguk just glares at Himchan before rolling from the couch on the floor

 

“I just can’t get him out of my head”

 

“But you haven’t seen him since… that day”

 

Yongguk snorts

 

“You think? We’re on the same college! I see him pretty much everyday and the worst thing is that he looks like too”

 

Himchan’s lips form a small o as he nods

 

“Has he tried talking to you?”

 

Yongguk shrugs

 

“I’m avoiding him I don’t know”

 

“Maybe you should let him apologize sincerely” Himchan suggests but Yongguk shakes his head

 

“Just one more month to go”

 

 “I don’t think I can take it anymore” Youngjae groans as he watches Yongguk disappear in front of his eyes again

 

“Just go to his room and talk it out with him! Not guaranteeing success but it’s worth a shot” Daehyun pats his back

 

“So what do you suggest I say? I’m sorry I was an but I think I was subconsciously pushing the fact that our dating wasn’t supposed to be real aside because i liked you but I couldn’t admit it to myself, so I was using an excuse to be near you”

 

“Sounds good! You should put in more emotions though”

 

Youngjae face-palms

 

“I can’t do that! Even if I did that do you think he would forgive me? He won’t”

 

“You don’t know if you don’t try”

 

“NO!” Youngjae yells “I shall live the rest of my life in this miserable state”

 

Daehyun looks at his best friend unimpressed before he grabs him by his wrist and drags him towards the dormitories.

 

“JUNG DAEHYUN WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME!”  The younger yells digging his feet on the ground but to no avail.

 

“You need to stop being miserable” Daehyun says struggling not to let go of Youngjae’s hands before they arrive in front of Himchan and Daehyun’s dorm room

 

“JUNG-ING-DAEHYUN I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MURDER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP IF YOU DON’T LET GO OF ME THIS INSTANT MOMENT” Youngjae shrieks when Daehyun knocks on the door with one hand, holding both of Youngjae’s wrists on his other

 

“Himchan-hyung, open the door” Daehyun yells and a confused-looking Himchan opens the door, looking partly annoyed, partly amused “Quick take the key”

 

Himchan grabs the key and goes out of the room before Daehyun pushes Youngjae inside and they slam the door shut, Youngjae screaming the whole time.

 

As soon as the door is locked, Youngjae starts pounding on the door, yelling profanities.

 

“Ahem!” Youngjae freezes in that exact moment before slowly turning his head behind only to be met with a cold gaze.

 

“H-hyung?”

 

Yongguk frowns as he walks closer to the younger making him look up.

 

“Don’t call me hyung” he spits and purses his lips in a thin line.

 

Youngjae wanted to reach over and remove the crease on his brow but just as he was about to move his hand, he retreats it back. Youngjae bites his lower lip and looks down in discomfort. Not to mention he feels like crying

 

“I’m sorry” Youngjae whispers

 

“Why are you here? Where did Himchan go?” Yongguk asks coldly making the younger wince

 

“I didn’t come here to bother you…. just… Himchan-hyung and Daehyun-hyung… they locked me here” Youngjae fiddles with his fingers and Yongguk raises his eyebrows

 

“Is this another prank of yours?”

 

Youngjae shakes his head slowly and Yongguk reaches over Youngjae trying to open the door, finding out its really locked. He turns to look where he left his key and sure enough it was gone. Himchan had lost his own again. He sighs

 

“Looks like we’re stuck here! Those bastards! I’m staying in the bathroom” Yongguk says and turns to leave but Youngjae’s hand on his wrist and his voice close behind him, make him stop

 

“Hyung… please!” He whispers but Yongguk doesn’t bulge “Please” he tries again desperately

 

“Stop it” Yongguk says through gritted teeth before turning around and pulling his wrist from Youngjae’s grip.

 

Youngjae feels tears fall down his cheeks and tries to fight his sobs back but fails miserably. He looks up at Yongguk and there’s something about him… something about those eyes that invites him in and Youngjae does what crosses his mind first

 

He grabs the elder’s face and slams their lips together, catching Yongguk by surprise.

 

Yongguk’s eyes widen and he tries to lean back, or push Youngjae but his mind is getting cloudy and he suddenly feels tired but content feeling those lips against his. He feels like he will get hurt again but he musters to gather all the anger, sadness, hurt, heartbreak and kiss Youngjae back roughly.

 

He kisses like it would be the last thing he will do, pushing Youngjae backwards, slamming him against the door.

 

Youngjae lets out a muffled groan when he feels pain shot at the back of his head and back but it all fades when he feels Yongguk’s lips move against his own, roughly and demanding.

 

Yongguk was trapping him, keeping him in place with his hips, his teeth scraping against Youngjae’s lips and his tongue making it’s way between them, hands on the younger’s face.

 

When Yongguk pulls back for air he comes back to his senses and just looks at Youngjae in his dazed state, staring into his eyes with his lips slightly parted and breathing heavily while tears fall down his face, over his own thumbs since he was still holding Youngjae’s face in place.

 

“I love you” Youngjae croaks out and fresh tears fill his eyes “I hadn’t realized earlier but… I do, I love you” he repeats, making Yongguk close his eyes

 

“Don’t!” Yongguk shakes his head, placing his hands on Youngjae’s chest and pushing him back, though he didn’t have any space behind him.

 

“I’m sorry for what I did” Youngjae breathes out and Yongguk can’t stand it. He slams his fist on the door just beside Youngjae’s head who winces and then closes his eyes

 

“I love you” Youngjae sighs and Yongguk feels his chest ache

 

“Stop”  Yongguk shakes his head  “How can you do this?! How can you do this to me?” his voice cracks. Youngjae lets his head fall backwards against the door, his eyes still closed

 

“I love you” he repeats and this time Yongguk feels his knees shake

 

“No! No! Don’t! STOP! STOP IT” He cries out feeling furious and when Youngjae opens his mouth again, he just loses it!

 

Youngjae falls on the ground from the impact of the punch and after the pain he feels the side of his face going numb, but he doesn’t care

 

“I love you” he whispers again looking up at Yongguk who is pulling on his hair, shaking uncontrollably “I’m sorry, I love you”

 

Yongguk turns to walk away from the younger but he can’t. He paces around the room a couple of times before kneeling next to the younger and grabbing his face between his hands.

 

He inspects the angry red mark on his face and he’s sure that’s going to leave a bruise the next day. He grits his teeth again when he notices Youngjae starring at him through his tears

 

“Don’t ever say something like that! Not when you don’t mean it! I don’t want anyone’s pity”

 

“But I do mean it” Youngjae whispers “Can’t you see? I’m a mess, I have been a mess ever since that day… I love you”

 

Yongguk closes his eyes, feeling tears threatening to fall

 

“I can’t forgive myself for hurting you, but you… can you at least try? I can’t stand knowing that you hate me” Youngjae says in a voice that’s barely audible, placing his hand over Yongguk’s on his own face

 

“Youngjae I don’t think I can…”

 

“I can’t stand you not being part of my life.” Youngjae moves his hand to the elder’s face, brushing his thumb over his lips

 

The next moment Yongguk decides he can’t stand Youngjae being out of his life either. And even though every time Youngjae had said ‘I love you’ it had felt like a stab on the chest, it also felt like he would never be as happy as when he were told those words by the younger boy, so he just closes his eyes and kisses the younger, taking a deep breath through his nose, his eyes falling close and a smile grazing his lips.

 

“I love you Bang Yongguk”  a content sigh leaves the younger’s lips as Yongguk retreats from the kiss and the later smiles for the first time in weeks

 

“I’ve been waiting forever for you to say these words”