-==-

I’m home (Eventually the truth will spill out)

Pairing : Haehyuk

Genre : Slight angst, fluff, romance

Rating : PG-13

Summary : Hyukjae said he was belong to city, he will never belong to this small city with pretty beach he always visited every summer. Without knowing he pretty much doesn’t belong to anywhere, he doesn’t completely fit. But Donghae has a place that Hyukjae really belong to.

Warning: Grammar error, unbeta, google translate, bxb, confusing sentences structure

-==-

Hyukjae stood in the middle of unfamiliar atmosphere. Not fully unfamiliar actually because he knew at least ten people in this beach party but still most of them were stranger. They were Donghae’s friend and Hyukjae was invited to this party because one of Donghae’s friends lives beside his beach house. Alcohol was passed freely, doesn't caring about the fact they’re still underage, “This is our last day as kids, and tomorrow we’ll grow up as a boring adult. So have fun while we can!” one of them shouted and Hyukjae wished he never heard his shout. He admitted, even when he hasn’t adult yet he has become boring. He staring at plastic cup on his hand, half of the content had spread on his system, burning his inside but not enough to make him felt hot. And he’s sure he’s sober. Mind was replaying his past memories, memories when spring, summer, autumn, winter, Donghae this, Donghae that, Donghae love this, Donghae hate that, Hyukjae sighed. He put the cup aside and the cup fell down. The content spilled. Hyukjae bit his lips.

“Well, I’d like to going out with you Hyukjae and perhaps I can know you closer. Will you be my boyfriend?” This guy, Siwon, confessed to him a day before graduation. He wasn’t from Hyukjae’s friend circle. He even not his friend at all. He was acquaintance Hyukjae meet through his hyung. They knew each other only skin deep, they meet only few times but eventually Siwon fall in love with him. Hyukjae remember Donghae said that he prefer dating with stranger than friend or best friend and Hyukjae was contemplating whether he should following Donghae’s words or make his own decision. He also asking himself, did he had stop waiting for Donghae to change his mindset or he just ran away? But in the end he made his decision.

Hyukjae gasped in surprise when someone suddenly dropped their head on his lap. He looks down and met with a pair of impressive eyes he hasn’t seen for almost a year and couple months. “Donghae!” he exclaimed in surprise. Alcohol wafted from Donghae’s body. “Long time no see, Hyukjae ah. How about us?” Donghae’s hand cupped one of Hyukjae’s cheeks and he felt dizzy. The question seems unreasonable but Donghae probably was drunk so anything he said was meaningless. “You tell me.” Hyukjae said quietly. Fingers running on Donghae’s smooth hair, slight longer than the last time he meets Donghae, but still brown. “Us? Same but different. But when we said we’re different, the fact is we’re same” Donghae murmured. “Do you have something you haven’t told me, Hyuk.” He asking casually despite he already knew the answer of his question. He saw it on Hyukjae’s SNS (yes, he check his best friend every single day through SNS.), “I have boyfriend.” Hyukjae breathed out.

Donghae doesn’t understand what was happened to him when Hyukjae change his relationship status from ‘Single’ to ‘In relationship’. He wants to confront him, asking why but he has no right. Who was he to have a right for questioning Hyukjae’s decision to accept that man's love? He’s just friend. Hyukjae’s friend. He may be jealous but why? Because Hyukjae has boyfriend and he have none? Because Hyukjae will give more attention to his boyfriend than to him now? Because Hyukjae maybe won’t spent summer holiday in beach house when he has boyfriend? New question kept popped out in his mind, bugging him ever since he comes to his hometown Mokpo. And as weeks passed and the question starts driving him crazy, Donghae without thinking twice drove back to this city. This small city with pretty beach, where Hyukjae said he wasn’t belong here but Donghae thought Hyukjae was pretty suitable to be part of neighborhood. And he’s lucky he found Hyukjae here. Sat alone a bit far from beach party place.

He drinks a couple glasses of liquor before made his way to Hyukjae. Someone was accidentally spilled his beer on him, make Donghae smells like drunkard because strong alcohol scent was all over him but he doesn't care. It feels so good stay near him when he dropped his head on Hyukjae’s lap. It feels like home when Hyukjae running his lithe fingers on his head. But Donghae need to make sure about something, that’s why he asking. And somehow Hyukjae’s answer stirred up something in his heart, he couldn’t pinpoint the exact feeling. One thing that was sure, he’s angry or perhaps a little bit jealous. That guy was Hyukjae’s boyfriend and he just Hyukjae’s best friend. That guy will own Hyukjae in the way he never will. “This is unfair!” He shouted in his mind. “I should do something.” He sits up and crashed his lips on Hyukjae’s. He couldn’t pinpoint which one were fuelling his action, alcohol or his flared up emotion or a little bit of both and late realization that after years he become Hyukjae’s friend he finally notice how Hyukjae’s lip looks so kissable and soft up close.

Hyukjae’s eyes widened in shock, he still couldn’t believe what was going on. He only remembers he told Donghae that he finally has a boyfriend and now the brunette was kissing him like no tomorrow. The worst, he has no power to stop him. The guilty feeling toward Siwon was not present when Donghae’s impatient tongue made way into his mouth; he even forgot who Siwon was. Hyukjae could felt butterflies in his stomach were going crazy. Donghae didn't slowing down or trying to be gentle. He seems desperate when he moved his body to stay between Hyukjae’s thin legs, pushing Hyukjae to open his legs wider. Hyukjae’s fingers raked his hair; his own hands cupped Hyukjae’s face before moved to caressing Hyukjae’s side and stay a little bit above Hyukjae’s .

“What it is? What is this feeling?” Donghae questioned when he felt so lightheaded. He was sure lack of oxygen wasn't the reason. So what is this feeling? He kissed Hyukjae just because he was mad, right? But his heart felt so warm and beating hard. What is this feeling?

Hyukjae’s felt his cheeks as hotter as summer and he was sure red was spreading on his cheek throughout their kiss. He moaned silently when Donghae caressing his body, opened up his mouth for him. Let Donghae exploring him, tasting him and when he do the same thing, he tasting alcohol on Donghae’s mouth and make him cringes, make his brain point out the controller of his best friend's behavior. It’s alcohol. Realization hit him hard, slapped him right on his face. He suddenly remembers about Siwon. He untangled his fingers from Donghae’s hair and pushed him, broke the kiss immediately. “What do you think you’re doing?” Hyukjae panted. He had prepared himself for any answer or reasons that Donghae will said but he secretly hoping the good one. Confession from Donghae will be perfect. Donghae was a pro of covering up feeling, faking as if he was fine when he isn’t, and now, he was confused, but he already spoke up without thinking first, “I just want to teach you kissing trick, in case you’ll kiss your boyfriend in the future. That’s what best friend for, right? Help each other.” He got slap on his right cheek, but the pain was nothing compared to the pain he felt when he looks at Hyukjae and he was crying. “I hate you!” Hyukjae exclaimed before ran away. Donghae was speechless. He saw Hyukjae was getting far and he could see next summer won’t be the same.

The next morning he comes to Hyukjae’s house. The black car was nowhere to be seen. He’s gone.

Hyukjae had trying hard to forget the incident, brush it off as one of drunken escapades, but it’s easier said than done. Hyukjae clutched his heart and he could feel it under his touches, his heart beating harder when he remembering the feeling of Donghae’s lips against his. The feeling was so nice but Donghae’s answer turns it into ash. He clutched the bag strap tighter. “Good bye.”

-

Autumn come, winter passed, spring visiting and now summer again. Hyukjae had contemplated to find another place for spending his summer break other than that beach, but guess what, college task make him stay at the dorm. He counting, he’s dating Siwon for almost a year and their relationship was quite fine. He still limited any information about him to Siwon except for regular information like his favorite food or his favorite pet etc but he never for once told Siwon any problem he was facing or secret he wants to share. Donghae’s answer few summers ago was influencing his subconscious. He treated Siwon as boyfriend but never as a friend.

Next summer come rather fast in his opinion, well, busy life always makes everything moving fast. And this time, his father asking him to join him at their summer house but Hyukjae hiding behind college's task as excuse to reject his father and the old man say nothing as he hung up the phone. In the middle of night his phone was ringing and he questioned who’s person call him late at night like this, without checking the ID he pick up the phone, “Hyukjae.” The voice erases his sleepiness. His best friend call him after two years from the incident but Hyukjae could hear Donghae’s voice strangled as if something was clogged up his throat, “My father.”

Hyukjae couldn't believe what he were doing, but for now, he let his instinct took over. He was sure he’ll get punishment because leaving the dorm at night without permission but he doesn’t give a single . It’s Donghae. He’s crying on the phone and even a stupid person can conclude what were happen. He stepped on the gas, hoping his car will go faster. Almost dawn when he reached Donghae’s house and he could feel his heart constricted in pain when he saw peoples at the house wearing black. He looks down at his own outfit and couldn’t help but smiles bitterly, he also wearing black from head to toe, call it coincidence but Hyukjae rely to his instinct. He found Donghae, his brother and mother sat near the altar. His father picture was surrounded by chrysanthemums.  Clothes black, eyes red, hair messed up, and tears still trickle down on Donghae’s cheek. He bowed to the man at the picture, before exchanging the same act with Donghae and his family. He really want to hug him, comfort him and Hyukjae understand Donghae want that too although he say nothing, their eyes spoke louder than any voices. But in the end, even comfort words weren’t exchanged between them, or at least in other people eyes. Because the comfort Hyukjae gave to Donghae was reserved only for him and Donghae. He gave it exactly after the funeral ceremony ended few days after he come to this place, in the middle of the night when only stars and moon and God as witness. And they made silent agreement to not bring this up in the future. They’re best friend after all.

“You won't get trouble right?” His father questioned, eyes focus on sea in front of them. “It’s been a week Hyukjae.” The old man continued. Hyukjae sighed. Donghae’s father funeral indeed has ended few days ago but Hyukjae doesn’t want to leave. “It’s summer break. I guess college won’t be a problem.” He answered. The old man chuckled before shook his head, “College maybe won't be a trouble but what I trying to say is trouble with your friends, your boyfriend, you literally haven’t contacting any of them this week, I’m sure they’ll freak out when they found out you just disappearing like that.” The old man slowly pours the coffee for him and Hyukjae when he notices his son fall silent. “Son, I remember my father told me that sometimes harsh truth was better than sweet lie.” Hyukjae looked up to his father, “What do you mean?” He asked. “Siwon.” The old man continued, “Let him go. It’ll make both of you happy. I know you’re in pain, Siwon too, but it’ll hurt both of you more if you didn’t make decision.” Hyukjae’s father put aside his cup, gently caressing Hyukjae’s hair as he saw tears starts trickle down from Hyukjae's eyes, “Your mom, although only spent short time with you taught you not to be a coward and so do I. I know you can. Chase your genuine happiness Hyukjae. You deserved it.”

-

“I’m sorry Siwon.” Hyukjae whispered he didn’t dare to look at Siwon’s face. He had prepared himself mentally for anything Siwon will say, he’s ready. That’s the reason why he driving hundreds mile from that little town to meet him. He needs to settle out everything. Siwon shifted, Hyukjae flinched. “Finally.” He said shortly. Dumbfounded, Hyukjae lift up his face, Siwon was smiling and Hyukjae questioned Siwon’s mental health. Why he seems so happy when the fact few minutes ago Hyukjae has ended their relationship? Wait, so, that’s mean Siwon actually was waiting this moment too? “Finally you realized it, Hyukkie.” He said lightly but makes Hyukjae more confused. “What do you mean, Siwon?” He asked quietly. “Since beginning, you never truly give yourself into this relationship. You only agree going out with me and become my boyfriend but not attached to this relationship. It seems like we’re together but also we're stranger. I know almost nothing about you Hyuk. I open up my feeling, my emotion to make you at least willing to open up yourself too but no, you never do that. Since beginning, there's already one guy who had your heart and that person wasn’t me.” He smiled, dimples show up on his cheek, “I think I should apologizes too. I actually had stopped loving you, I guess since few months ago. Because since that day I realized I only see you as a friend but I’m afraid I’ll hurt you if I end this relationship, that’s why I’m waiting. I’m waiting you to end it.” He smiled again and Hyukjae only want to wipe the smile off of his face. How could he's so calm like this while he himself was sort of passing through nervous state when he asks to meet Siwon in this café?

“How can you be so calm like this?” He asked again. “Acceptance, Hyuk. That’s my key. I’m accepting the fact I fall in love with you, I’m accepting the fact that you will never be truly become mine. I’m accepting the fact that someone else already has your heart. I’m accepting the fact that I had stopped loving you and I’m accepting the fact we suit as friends, not as lover.” Siwon stopped talking; Hyukjae couldn’t say anything except, “Thank you.” He said, “I hope one day you’ll find someone who truly can appreciate you.” Siwon’s eyes shifted pass Hyukjae’s shoulder and the blonde understand, Siwon had met that someone, “Yes, I hope the same thing too.” Hyukjae stop talking when the waitress come with their order and he noticed how Siwon’s eyes never leave the waiter's face, even after the waiter went back to kitchen, Siwon's eyes still following him and shifted back to Hyukjae when he has completely gone. “Who is he?” Hyukjae asking, “His name is Heechul.” Siwon answered and Hyukjae could see the same spark of love Siwon once had for him in his eyes. Siwon is in love and that’s a good thing.

-

Hyukjae planned to stay at dorm for one day but, day stretched into week, week changed into month and in short, Hyukjae once again spent his summer holiday at the dorm. He was tempted to sneak out in the night and going back to small city with pretty beach but one warning letter from Dorm Leader was enough to make him buried his plan deep in his mind. Hyukjae suddenly missed that place. The place he said he wasn’t belongs to. He missed the slushie, the crab cake and tteokbokki from Jung’s restaurant, he missed the fish smell from fish market, he missed the bonfire, and he even missed Mr. Han’s old boat. Hyukjae sighed. He supposedly misses his big city, because he couldn’t visit so often like before. Where his house was stand strong unlike his father beach house which looks like will collapse in any minutes. Smell of smoke and ashes he had been familiar with, suddenly couldn’t make him comfortable. As he thought deeply, even ocean's smell couldn’t make him comfortable either. It’s like, something was missing. A thing that able to make him feels like at home. He maybe feels like he was at home either he stay in the big city or in the small city. He maybe feels like he was at home either he with his father stay inside their comfortable house in city or stay inside will-collapse-in-any-minutes beach house. But Hyukjae knew he was never truly at home. He missed Donghae.

Rain had relentlessly falling since after dinner. Dorm was quite, not much sounds could be heard as most of the people prefer to sleep and the only sound dominating was rain's sound. Hyukjae rubbed the back of his neck, stretched his body and yawned. He took the pen and start writing again, trying to finishing his essay he hasn’t touched since weeks ago. A soft knock on the door make him stopped but he ignored it, thinking the person maybe Yongguk trying to snatch another ramen from his cupboard. For god sake, that boy was so cheapskate but totally generous for Jieun, his girlfriend. The knock getting louder and longer and Hyukjae was getting annoyed. He throw his pen away before strode off to the door. “ Yongguk! Can you buy ramen for once?” Hyukjae shouted while opened the door and his eyes widen in shock. That person wasn’t Yongguk, in fact that person was hundreds time better than Yongguk.

He was drenched but his smile as warm as the sun. “Sorry, if I came in wrong time.” The man said in soft voice, a little bit trembled as the result of drenched in rain. Tears well up in Hyukjae’s eyes. He didn't know why he’s crying but he felt so overwhelmed, without saying a word he hugged the man tightly. He doesn’t smell the best as result of stay in bus full with passenger for hours and rain was drench him but when Hyukjae pressed his lips on the man tan neck and inhaling his scent, Hyukjae could smell faint smell of ocean and his body scent, Hyukjae smell the familiarity and he thought he finally found it. “I miss you.” The man breathed out. “I miss you so ing much and it’s hurt me because I’m so blind to your pain.” He took a deep breath. “I love you Hyukjae.” Hyukjae abruptly releasing his hug, “What, Donghae?” He questioned. “I love you. I love you before, now and in the future.” He smiled before kissed Hyukjae. Everything seems like fall in right place when Donghae kissed him. Hyukjae has found his home and that was with Donghae. Wherever he goes as long as with Donghae, that place will be his home. Donghae’s embrace was his home. No matter they stay in big city or small city or even in deserted place, as long as he was with Donghae, he doesn’t mind because he does belong to Donghae.

“I’m home.” Hyukjae murmured against Donghae's lips,

“Welcome home.” Donghae replied.

“I love you too, Hae.”

-Fin-

A/N : Well, too abrupt? I planned this story as one shot that's why it seem rushed, sorry. 6608 words, the longest oneshot i ever made. I planned to post short chapter from Donghae side.

Thank you for subscribing and upvoting and commenting this story. Thank you so much.

-=-

EverLastingFriend_15 : update~~~

chrishwang : update ~~

kiddoELF : Thank you..I hope this story won't seem to ending abruptly..

crilleray : hope you like this chapter too..thank you..