chanyeol looked at the shattered pieces of glass on the floor.

he had done it again.

"chanyeol-ah, come down for dinner", his mother called.

"later", he croaked. 

he wasn't ready to face anyone yet, especially not his mother.

not after ji-ah was ripped away from him, forever. 

all he could think about as he looked at the crimson blood flowing out of his wrists were how deeply they were in love; how they were each other's worlds; how she was more than everything to him. 

chanyeol's life wasn't easy. 

every single day, he had to face his mother's moodswings. his father's beatings. his sister's bullying. in school, he was struggling to keep up. he failed almost all his subjects and had no clique to hang out with. 

but all that didn't matter.

he had ji-ah.

she was more than just his friend, she was more than just his lover. she understood him more than he understood himself, she loved him more than he loved himself. she walked into his life when he was at his worst and filled him with so much love that for once in his life, he felt he was whole again. 

she held his hand as he ranted to her about how traumatized he was after his father had punched and slapped him one night. she the cuts on his wrists when he cried, telling her that his mother said she regretted giving birth to him. she backed him up whenever someone hated on him because he was a victim of a horrible self-harm addiction. 

"who says boys can't cut too?", she always comforted him. 

"you know I love you no matter what", she said to him every night.

she was the only person who accepted him for who he truly was. the good and the bad, she took in all of it. 

she was his special person. 

------------------------------------------------------------
today was the first day in more than five years where chanyeol didn't meet ji-ah at the swings in the park at 8pm. 

it wasn't that he didn't want to meet her; nor was it that she didn't want to meet him.

she just wasn't there anymore.

every single time he closed his eyes, he pictured her — her soul trapped in her petite body, scarred with horrid third-degree burns.

his mind races with images of that night. he remembers the loud screech of that bright red car as it crashed into them. he remembers ji-ah's scream, that precious scream that broke his heart. he remembers the surge of heat that made his heart pound, followed by strong, luminous flames that engulfed them. 

chanyeol was lucky. he wasn’t trapped, and the flames had not reached him. he had the opportunity to escape. 

looking over at how ji-ah was struggling to free herself from heavy dented metal before the fire reached her, his heart sank. he knew deep down inside that although she was a person with very strong willpower, she was too weak to escape on her own.

he had to help her. 

he forced his door open, and raced to ji-ah’s side of the car. 

“RUN, YEOL. I’LL SAVE MYSELF.”

“NO BABY I HAVE TO--”

the flames proved to be too strong. chanyeol could no longer see ji-ah. he tried to push through the heat, through the demons in his head that told him to run away. 

he tried, but he ended up collapsing on the hard, rough road. the smoke from the blazing fire caused him to tear up, it caused him to close his eyes. as his eyes drifted shut, his mind did, too.

chanyeol woke up in a hospital, with bandages on his arms and feet where became a victim of the fire. he opened his eyes, and the first thought that came to him was--

ji-ah.

he limped to her room, biting his lips as the burns on the undersides of his feet made it hard for him to even stand up. 

peeking through the glass panel, he broke down. she was wrapped up to cover her burns, a neck brace around her neck. she looked so weak, so fragile.

chanyeol inched towards the left side of her bed. he gently picked up her left hand, careful to not hurt her. with tears streaming down his cheeks, he bent down to kiss her hand. 

"rest well, baby. im right here for you", he whispered as he her hair.

ji-ah passed away that night.

------------------------------------------------------------
chanyeol took another piece of glass and pressed it hard onto his wrist. 

it hurt so much, but to him, no amount of physical pain could replace the emotional pain he felt without ji-ah next to him.

"ji-ah... I miss you", he sighed as he thought about the lovely girl who had been, and would always be, the person who meant the most to him.

"rest well, baby girl. I love you."