Lying in your arms
So close together
Didn't know just what I had
Now I toss and turn
Cause I'm without you
How I'm missing you so bad 

Sitting comfortably on the couch of our virtual house during our break, I thought I could use some sound trip. Of all the songs that could pop up, it just had to be this.

Where was my head
Where was my heart
Now I cry alone in the dark 

Okay, just like any other kid who spent their childhood in the 90’s, I was a self-confessed ‘N Sync fan girl. I was just so tremendously crazy about them that I even had a full-blown life-sized poster of Justin Timberlake that hung on my bedroom wall.

I lie awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do
(Wanting you the way that I do)

Add to my borderline obsession was the fact that I literally knew every single word in the lyrics of their songs and I would unknowingly belt them out in the car which drove my family mad. No kidding.  And if they held a reunion concert in Korea, I’d definitely be the first one in line.

I was such a fool
I couldn't see it
Just how good you were to me
You confessed your love
Undying devotion
I confessed my need to be free 

But I just couldn’t, for the life of me, bear listening to ‘I Drive Myself Crazy’ right now. To be frank, it did nothing more than adding more salt to my wounds that were still raw.

And now I'm left
With all this pain
I've only got myself to blame 

Alright, enough was enough. That was my cue to switch stations.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time

What the?! Was there some sort of psychic force working against me?

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right,
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry

Please. The last thing I needed were life lessons from Taylor Swift.

Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I instantaneously switched to AM radio. There wouldn’t be any sappy, self-deprecating love songs playing for sure, would there?

“…TV programs will not be airing this week to give way to special Lunar New Year programming.”

 That . I hoped my favorite programs wouldn’t get canceled.

“In other news, stars from King Kong Entertainment recently took part in a radio campaign for severe psoriasis. According to an official representative of the agency, their talents Jo Yoon Hee, Lim Joo Eun, Yoon Jin Yi, Lee Dong Wook, Lee Kwang Soo, Park Min Woo, Yoo Yeon Seok and Kim Bum all partici-“

I pulled my earplugs and threw my phone on the couch. Ugh!

“What’s with the ‘ugh!’?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin as I covered my mouth with my hand before conducting a quick scan of the set. The thought of getting caught by the production team made me want to crawl into a hole, but thankfully none of them were in sight. When the coast was clear, I asked, “Did I say that out loud?”

Sporting an all-too-knowing smirk, Jae Rim oppa plopped down on the vacant space beside me. “No. It’s called ‘mental telepathy’, jagiya,” he replied sarcastically before he sniggered. “Of course you did. Way too loud even for your liking. And for a second there I thought you were talking dirty, which would’ve been y by the way,” he said suggestively with a provocative wink.

Glowering, I got one of the magazines lying on the table and whacked him repeatedly. “You did not just say that!” I yelled as I continued to hit him. “You are sick!”

“Ow, ow, ow,” he cried in pain, both his arms thrown before him in defense. “Okay, okay. Stop,” he appealed. My hits were getting lighter, but I didn’t yield completely. “It was a joke, alright?”

With a final hit on his shoulder, I gave him a defiant stare. “You do not tell jokes like that.” I threw the magazine back on the table, causing a loud thump.

“Arasso, arasso!” he complied, albeit in hesitance, while keeping his arms crossed against his chest. “Jeez, why so serious, So Eun-ah?”

I threw a scornful look his way before rolling my eyes. “Because you were at it again!” I exclaimed. “Trust me, I’m not in the mood for your jokes right now.”

His jocular facial expression slowly toned down into a solemn one. “Is there something wrong?”

“I’m fine,” I said with my gaze down. I looked at him and added, “Sorry for lashing out like that. I’m just not in the mood is all.”

He gave me a tender smile. “Is this about him?”

“No,” I answered absentmindedly. Oh, . I flinched involuntarily, realizing the repercussions of my response.

One of his brows shot up, the meaningful smirk back in place. “Gotcha,” he uttered smugly.

I shook my head persuasively and contended, “N-n-no, I think you misunderstood, oppa. I wasn’t-“

“Save it, So Eun-ah. Your answer alone gave you away.”

I felt my insides become rigid. Dating had always been a delicate subject as one of the show’s ultimate objectives was to ‘sell’ some sort of a fantasy to the viewers. Hence, we never broached the topic until now.

I didn’t look away as I attempted to formulate a comeback, but the circuits inside my brain apparently went dead. I hated how he could always do that to me.

“I don’t even know who he is,” Jae Rim oppa claimed, “And I’m not sure if I would even want to find out, but I consider him a lucky guy to be warranting such attention from you.”

I placed my palms on the edges of the couch while keeping my eye on the floor. “He’s just a friend.” What friend? He doesn’t even want to see you anymore, remember?.

“A friend, huh?” The way he asked leaked with amused skepticism. “Right. Does he even agree that he’s just a friend? Or does he also treat you as just a friend?”

Taking my eyes off the floor, I gave him a look with my head tilted and eyes narrowed.

He let out a chuckle while shaking his head. “Aigoo. It looks like you’re in some serious , my dear.”

I couldn’t help but scoff. “Excuse me?”

“Okay, let me rephrase that. Are you wholly positive that he’s just a friend?”

As someone who had a lot of tricks up his sleeve, Jae Rim oppa sure knew how to push one’s buttons. I got one of the pillows lying on the couch and held it before my chest. “Why won’t I be?”

“Because a friend won’t get you all riled up like that.”

All I could do was give him a vacant look. He did hit the bull’s eye, but I wasn’t letting him have the satisfaction of it.

“I hit the nail on the head, didn’t I?” He was grinning like a Cheshire cat, with both of his brows up.

“Psh. Now’s not the time to get all cocky.”

Still looking as smug as ever, he asked candidly, “Ever heard of The Ladder Theory?”

It was my turn to chuckle. “What the heck is that?”

“So Eun, So Eun, So Eun…” he sang, “This is the reason why you’re troubled. You need t