It fits well with the story, it gets you curious, makes you ask ‘why’. There’s an error in the title as To doesn’t need to be capitalized. 

I find it a bit redundant to have the title in the description and another phrase that says exactly the same thing. Maybe you can omit the ‘I have 49 days…to find love!”
The description gives the readers a background of the story, and it says just enough. There are grammatical errors though:
-instead of a comma, use a period to separate these phrases “You came to this world for a purpose, to find love in 49 days. if you fail to do so..”
-it should be: await and not awaits, because consequences is plural
-also, it should be depths of hell. 

The format in which you did everything is mind-boggling. It gave me a headache, made my eyes want to rush over to the next lines because it was such a bother.

I didn’t have problems with your posters, but the font size and the colors you used just made my head ache. It didn’t help that everything was centered, that you bolded out the dialogues. It was really hard to look at.

I disliked the use of pictures in the middle of texts because it broke the flow, hindered the potential of your story. It was more like show and not tell, which shouldn’t be, because this is Asianfanfics, it’s supposed to be a literary work.

Also, you should get into another paragraph if the speakers of the dialogues change.

Your background just didn’t make it seem like an angst story. It didn’t connect, didn’t set the mood at all. 

I can see where this is going, and she’s going to fall in love, of course.
This story lacks cohesiveness. I can tell that it wasn’t planned out.
Time travelling isn’t exactly a new idea, and I’d like to say that this was a fic where the whole time travelling thing wasn’t used well.
I just have questions and things I didn’t find clear.

1. The palace was attacked in 1990. How old was Suzy then? If she’s 18 by 2014, it couldn’t be possible that she was six when the incident happened. But according to one of the chapters, she’s an eighteen year old in a 24 year old body. And it doesn’t make sense, because (I’m repeating myself) Suzy was six in 1990. And you say the mall was built in 1997 but the attack happened in 1990. Again, big question marks ??? Timelines are important in the cohesiveness of the story. Work on it.

2. Why was she handed the book? Why would she time travel? I don’t see the logic. Was she sent to the current time so she could be given the mission: to find love? It just doesn’t fit, and if you ask me, it doesn’t make sense.

3. If the book was handed to her to somewhat save her, why would it give her the very opposite of that? I mean she was threatened to be sent to hell.

The characters are superficial, skin-deep at best, but that seems like an overstatement because the characters don’t even have skin to begin with. I mean, if I didn’t have prior knowledge on how Soohyun, Jongdae, Minseok and Jongin looked like, I really wouldn’t know. And I should, because it’s your responsibility as the author of this fic to paint their faces.

The characters don’t have varying colors. They are monotone, they’re all nice, and I wouldn’t be able to guess who’s who if they all talked at the same time without names.

I’m having issues with Suzy’s character because she is veery nice, she always says yes, is too trusting and I’m looking for the trauma that she had when she was young. I mean, her parents died in front of her and she’s just too bright and happy for someone with such a past. She should at least be wary, and keep to herself.

I need to emphasize this because Suzy’s character needs more. She needs depth.

And I can’t say much about the other characters because they’re all similar. I get it, Soohyun is nice, Jongdae is nice, Minseok is nice, but what else? Jongin’s character got me curious though, because he just sprouted out of nowhere and asked Suzy out, and I’m asking why.

Your eyes opened slowly as the first ray of sunlight shone into the room. The melodious song of birds drifted into the room. When I reached this part of the story, it made me somewhat glad, because for the first time I saw details. It isn’t much but still… And I’m wondering how there are birds who sing by the 53rd floor of the building. I’m not saying it’s impossible, I just find that bit odd.

Anyway, you should work on the details because I felt blind while reading. You don’t need to spoon feed your readers everything, but just give them enough to guide them through. Adding details isn’t exactly a difficult feat, as there are five senses to guide us: Sight, smell, touch, taste, hearing. If you play on that, you’ll find that it is very easy. But for now, your story just lacks in details. Like when you used the pictures to present the cappuccinos and eggs, you could’ve written them, gave life to those images with words.

You can also start by drawing the character’s physical traits, not by showing us, but by telling us.

I didn’t have major issues with your grammar. You tent to use ‘a’ instead of ‘an’. You use the particle ‘a’ when the initial letter of the following word is a consonant; ‘an’ if it’s a vowel.

Also you misspelled panting as panthing in chapter 3.

And take note of your use of ellipsis, as most of the time, they are not necessary.

The flow was consistent, but I get the feeling that Suzy is getting these random thoughts popping into her head, like she never runs out of things to do. But aside from that, you did well on this. It wasn’t too fast or too slow.

I was disappointed actually, because you said that this was going to be an angst story but it seemed fluffy to me. Also the way you formatted everything just made my eyes hurt. Maybe if you can make the story cleaner, it will be easier to read. And if I was a casual reader and not a reviewer, I would’ve quit reading because I just don’t see substance. I’m sorry if I was harsh, but you preferred it that way, didn’t you? :) Thank you for requesting.