Bright lights, cameras angled differently, a huge crowd. Jongin knows all of these too well. Though he does, the current one that he's infront of feels nothing like home. It feels nothing like passion, nothing like love. Nothing normal. Appearance wise, it is the same. But the thoughts and feelings, it was too different. Normally, the lights would be dancing along. Not anymore for they remain steady now. Cameras were supposed to convey him as a dancer. They no longer do. It points right at him with stiffness, as if Jongin were a criminal that needed to be watched for long. The crowd was supposed to cheer him on. They were supposed to scream his name with excitement and delight. They no longer do. Disgust and curses were the only things thrown alongside with his name now. Pure hatred was all that filled him up.

Sitting across him was Chanyeol. The Chanyeol that he once trusted, relied on; the one he actually built a friendship with not too long ago. Beside Jongin was guidance councilor-turned-television host. This host was supposed to rebuild Jongin and Chanyeol's friendship. Ths host was supposed to be the middleground, he was supposed to speak for both sides. Besides, councilors don't side with anyone when guiding, isnt it? Along with the crowd, Chanyeol and the host saw Jongin as someone who's to be judged.

"Commercial end! We're live in 3..2..1" The production crew alarmed, making the host immediately sit up and face the camera. The host starts the show with an explanation of the debate that is about to happen between the two guests today. He sighs as he explains to the audience, both those who were watching live and those who are watching throught the television, what was going on between the guests. And that explanation, or intro to the show as Jongin would like to call, ticked Jongin off.

"I know people need to know what's going on, but atleast get your facts right before presenting a false accusation.. Start the show with that, and people would already have the wrong idea through out the episode." Jongin thought to himself, already feeling so defenseless.

The host started the show off with "How do you help someone you love? How do you help this loved one attain an easier, lighter life? Our guest today was reported for publicly humiliating the person he loves, consecutively. Why? For the mere fact that he, Jongin, does everything for Kyungsoo, thinking that he's protecting Kyungsoo from the bad, stressful world. Jongin turns into Kyungsoo's stylist, personal assistant, and hell; he even brushes Kyungsoo's teeth for him. Now, Kyungsoo doesn't approve of this, but that disapproval just leads him to being publicly hit and scolded by no one else, but Jongin."

The live crowd murmured and grimaced, leaving Jongin sighing to himself. Poor people do not understand, he thought.

"According to other testimonies.. you, Jongin, were accused of publicly humiliating Kyungsoo?" The host asked, his voice thick with fakeness. "Bull," Jongin thought to himself, "We all know my side doesn't matter anymore.. No one would listen and believe even if I would speak of the truth."

"I was accused, but I didn't-" Jongin answered softly, unfortunately getting cut off by Chanyeol who jumped into the conversation.

"You did do it, Jongin! Everybody saw how you screamed at Kyungsoo just because he didn't like what you were doing to him!" Chanyeol barked, almost getting out of his seat to approach and hopefully get to whack some sense and honesty into Jongin.

"I did that for Kyungsoo to have an easier life, I did that to hel-" Jongin was on the verge of breaking down as he retorted. But, his defense was cut off yet again.

"You brush his teeth backstage, you get mad when he's placed at the corner of the screen, you get furious when he doesn't get a solo act! Kyungsoo rarely goes to college, and when he does and goes home with homework that he actually wants to do, you steal it away and do it for him! When he sleeps, who puts a hand on Kyungsoo's chest all of a sudden to check if he's still breathing?! When Kyungsoo wasn't granted an honour award at college, who called the university saying that he would write to the public how horrible the university is?! You! Kyungsoo doesn't like what you're doing, Jongin! And when he tells you "enough", what do you do!? You hit him, you scold him for not having the same mindset as you do, what else?!" Chanyeol angrily answered back, while Jongin is left sobbing.

Jongin tried, but failed, to hold himself together. His words were chokes out with his sobs. He was a pitiful, defenseless little mess. "I do all those to help him! I'm all he has.."

"You got that mixed up. What you meant was, he's all that you have," His opponent hissed back.

"So, Jongin does everything for Kyungsoo even if Kyungsoo doesn't like it. And when Kyungsoo expresses his thoughts towards the actions, he is apparently hurt by this person who suppsedly loves him." The host cleared up, "He burshes Kyungsoo's teeth, he does Kyungsoo's homework, he acts like a personal manager.. Jongin, don't you think this is kind of.. overboard?"

"Not at all!" Jongin exclaimed as he wiped his stained cheeks. "This world is scary. This world pushed me to being like this!"

"Well, we'll hear from Kyungsoo then." This statement of the host got Jongin's heart beating to the extremes. All that rushed to his mind was, Kyungsoo was going to be surrounded with the world's worst, most judgemental crowd.

Kyungsoo came out from backstage, walking towards the stage and sitting beside Chanyeol. Beside Chanyeol. Because that's where he felt legitimately safe and protected.

"Kyungsoo, what is it that you exactly feel when Jongin gets this 'protective'?" The host asked, concern evident in his voice. But as Jongin always thought, everything related to the host is fake.

"I.. feel uncomfortable.." Kyungsoo started, "Look, Jongin, I can do things on my own. I want to do things on my own. I appreciate your help, and you know that I would call you if I do need help, right?"

Jongin only sobbed harder, looking down in embarrassment. Because what's as worse as being pushed away, was breaking down infront of someone you wanted to be a hero for. "I'm sorry.. All I wanted was to help.."

"Though this seems sweet to others, especially teenage girls, this relationship is dangerous." The host said as professionally as he could, "The is an eye opener, to show people how an obsessive control can mislead someone from the real world. Now, we'll be taking a break and when we come back, we'll be giving Jongin the help that he needs."

It took another hour of helplessness for Jongin. He was supposed to get help, but he got criticism. The help offered was not his cup of tea, and it never would be.  He expected to have Kyungsoo by his side by the end of the show, he expected to be on equal grounds. But as he partly expected, the crowd would side with Chanyeol's annoyance and disgust towards Jongin. Only because the host made him look bad, Jongin told himself, but still. He lost not only his name and image, but Kyungsoo as well. Kyungsoo who thanked the host for offering Jongin counselling sessions in a clinic. Kyungsoo who walked away into the outside world with not Jongin, but with Chanyeol.

Jongin never attended the counsellings. He tried to redeem himself by finding his way out of misery on his own, and he succeeded. Though he can't deny that thoughts of Kyungsoo and his dreams of them spending time together still consumes probably more than half of his being. Appreciate the little things, he reminds himself, because these little things when combined would create something big in the near future. Atleast that's what his favourite book of quotes and poems said.

A faint clap of thunder


Clouded skies


Maybe, just maybe.. Rain will come


If so, will you stay here with me?

 

A faint clap of thunder


Even if the rain would come

I will stay here

Together with you.

Jongin looked up towards the sky as a low rumble of thunder sounded in the nearby distance, he then lowered his book. A bright crack of lightning followed not too long after, illuminating the sky with light and a current of electricity. The sky was filled with pale gray clouds that formed thick bundles above as they slowly and leisurely pushed north by the light fall breeze. However, regardless to if a rainfall was coming, the air was still warm and pleasant on his skin. Jongin leaned back on the thick pillar of the gazebo that sat out in the city garden that he had found and there, he looked out at the serene scenery. His left knee stood up towards the ceiling while his other leg dangled off to the side. Jongin's left foot was bare upon the wooden flooring as he laid his book of poems down onto the empty space beside him.

From where he sat, he could see raindrops fall into the large pond just across the gazebo that he sat on. It didn’t take long for the drizzle turn into a heavy downpour. Up above, the sky was still glowing a faint colour of white as the gray clouds slowly began to mask the yellow rays of the sun. He found it a bit fascinating how the sun was still trying to remain visible even with this sudden rainfall. The light breeze blew past him, through his hair as the refreshing feeling came rushing through his body. Jongin let out a soft sigh of content before he leaned back onto the wooden pillar, finding himself more relaxed than he'd ever been in the longest time, despite of the cool breeze bringing tiny bumps onto his skin. He looked back at the book that he'd just read and placed down, and he found himself gracing a small smile across his face.

 

"How coincidental." he said, a light, airy chuckle leaving his lips. "Although it doesn't seem like anyone will be staying under the rain with me today."