On the other side of the dorm, Jinki joins Kibum at the balcony a few doors down from where Taemin is a crying mess. Approaching footsteps caused Key to look up from his drawing pad to meet Jinki’s eyes looking back at him. They exchange smiles and Jinki takes a seat next to his boyfriend.

“What are you working on?” His eyes skims over the jacket on the page.

“Something I’d like to wear during winter.” Kibum replies and begins shading in from the outline of the sketch.

Jinki looks on admiring how focused Key is on his work. He smiles as he thinks about how lucky he is to have such a talented boyfriend who dances, sings , raps and even designs his own wardrobe. Jinki is never a sourpuss when it comes to Key because they are both still in the early stages of their relationship in where they’re so consumed in each other almost to the point where no one else matters.

Kibum ceases his sketching, grabs Jinki’s shirt and pulls him in for a sweet kiss. The leader’s lips curl up in a smile. It’s against the rules to become romantically involved with each other. It can lead to many problems inclusive of a disbandment should the public discover but love obscures their reality and manages to convince them that it’s right, that rules don’t matter, that some rules are meant to be broken and they’re already doing a good job of hiding it. They have managed to delude themselves but Taemin’s eyes are clear as day.

“Love you.” Jinki whispers against Key’s lips which earn him another kiss so hot and deep it almost melts him.

>>> 

Taemin whirls around to escape to his room where he can cry his eyes swollen but he’s unable to do so quickly when he stumbles into Minho. Minho stares at him wide-eyed and Taemin runs off just as he opens his mouth to ask him what’s wrong.

Finally Taemin ends up in the bathroom and not his bedroom. If someone should come looking for him, the  would be the first place to check.

The orange hues of the evening’s sunset  can be sent though the French windows. He turns on the tap and splashes cold water on his on his teary face. He looks in the mirror and sees a young boy looking straight back at him. The boy’s eyes are red and puffy, his nose if flared, his lips are quivering with each sniffle and shiver and most importantly the boy is in love. The boy is in love with Lee Jinki hyung, the leader of Shinee. He’s in love and it hurts like a .  He doesn’t restrain himself from crying this time. He watches the tears effortlessly glide down his cheeks.

“Why couldn’t things be different?” He sobs. Taemin breaks down, remembering the kiss between his two elders, his sobs getting louder. He picks at his nose and his lips and tries to smooth down his  hair by wetting it and patting it down.

“I’m so hideous.” He exhales. “I’m ugly. Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. You’re ugly!” He screams and claws at his jaws. “Jinki will never like me because I’m so ugly.” He falls to the floor and weeps his eyes shut.