"I AM NEVER WATCHING A KOREAN DRAMA AGAIN!" Joonmyun screamed into the hillside. 

"Honey, are you okay?" his 'mother' asked. She looked at him worriedly as she slipped a packet of letters into his horse's saddlebag. 

"Fine," he grumbled, attempting to climb onto the  horse. It shifted when he tried to hoist himself up and he fell onto the ground, getting his clothes more dirty than they already were. He dusted them off as he stood up, glaring at the animal. 

"Let's go," he instructed, taking Hwansuk's reins and walking down the hillside. 

"Good luck on your exam!" his father called out. Joonmyun nodded, not really liking the guy. Who named a horse after himself anyways? "Aren't you supposed to die in three days or something?" he looked at Hwansuk. The equestrian glanced at him and kept walking. 

"Hey!" he called out. "It's this way! Seoul is over there!" 

Hwansuk kept walking, ignoring the commands from his master. He stopped in a meadow of lush grass and began grazing. It had rained recently apparently, and all the plants and wilflife were luscious and alive. Joonmyun stomped his foot, marching over to the horse. He pulled on the reins stubbornly, though the animal didn't budge. "Come-" pull "-on-" tug, "-Seoul, Hanyang, whatever-" jerk "-is that way!" 

Hwansuk remained still, grazing happily and relaxing. Joonmyun fumed at him. It was already a long journey to the capital, and he just wanted to take whatever military test and get back in time for their next concert in Tokyo. "Hey, if I get in trouble from SM, it's your fault," he said, though no one understood him. 

He decided that it was better for Hwansuk to eat first anyways. Afterall, they had along journey in front of them and the horse was carrying everything. If he ate and energized now then he would travel faster later, Joonmyun reasoned. Perfect. He sat down beside the horse and pulled a loaf of bread out of his pack. He tore a chunk off of it and stuffed it in his mouth as the mount glanced down at him. 

"Hey!" he protested when he was swatted at by a tail. "Fine! I'll stand up." 

Joonmyun munched on his bread moodily as he stared at Hwansuk. "You're lucky you're big or I so would have taken you by now." 

The equine glanced up at him again, swatting at him with his tail. Joonmyun spit out a mouthful of horse hair and glared hard at the animal. "Okay, listen, let's come to a compromise, okay?" 

Hwansuk eyed him with partial interest and complete distaste. 

"Well, I need you to get me to Seoul," he explained. "You need me to-" he blanked out on things the horse needed him to do. He could technically just run off and live in the mountains, feeding off of the plants and wildlife in the habitat. He really didn't need Joonmyun at all. 

"Okay, fine, you are superior to me," he admitted. "Happy?" Hwansuk snorted. 

"Well, whatever then," Joonmyun dismissed. "If you don't want to co-operate, then I'll just get to Seoul on my own," he picked up a stray tree branch off the ground and started hiking again. "I don't need a horse. I just need to get back to Tokyo in time for our last show and then get to the Osaka concerts and then get back in time for our comeback planning and dance practices and photo shoots and-" he paused, looking back at Hwansuk. 

"Oh who am I kidding? I do need you," he moaned, clinging to the horse's neck. Hwansuk only continued happily muching. Joonmyun tugged at his mane. "Just come on, pal. I bet there's lots of nice mares in Seoul." 

Hwansuk continued eating. 

Maybe he didn't like mares, Joonmyun thought. Maybe he liked stallions. Wait, was his horse gay? Could horses even be gay? A horse wouldn't really know what that would mean. But then again - Joonmyun side-eyed the horse. 

Hwansuk snorted at him. 

"Does your door swing that way?" he asked, leaning in closer. The mount stepped away and Joonmyun fell to the ground, since he was leaning on Hwansuk's shoulder. 

"I'll take that as a no," he growled as he dusted off his travelwear, which was too big for him. Let's face it, Joonmyun was not as big as Jung Yonghwa. He wondered how that even worked. Shouldn't the clothes in a drama change to fit the actor playing the role? Joonmyun looked down at his clothes. His shirt was certainly a little baggy. As for his trousers - well, those were a lost cause. He had used a stray length of rope as a makeshift belt and tied it around his waist, under his other layers so it couldn't be seen. However, that backfired since he got ropeburn pretty quickly, so he retied the rope over his undershirt. 

The 'belt,' as he called it, was pretty 'dandy' (he learned that word from Sehun). It was useful for storing things. For instance, the package of letters his mother sent with him, and the papers his father had sent to verify him as his son and get him a place to stay at an old friend's place. Though Joonmyun couldn't understand how he had friends. For goodness' sake, the man named a horse after himself. Perhaps the horse was a replica of the man - but, you know, in horse form. 

Either way, Joonmyun needed that horse to move and he needed it now. "You are coming with me," he pulled on the reins, to no avail. Eventually he gave up and banged his head on a tree. "I didn't train seven years for a horse to show me up!" he screamed.

"Wait a second," he lifted his head and looked at Hwansuk, narrowing his eyes. "Sehun?" 

The horse flicked his eyes and lifted a hoof in greeting. Well that explained the horse's colourful mane. 

"Are you a horse?" he asked redundantly. Obviously he was a horse, because - well, he was a horse. 

"Well let's get going then!" he piped up, running over and clambering into the saddle. Surely now Sehun would listen to him, right? However, the steed didn't move and Joonmyun tugged on the reins. 

"Listen, Sehun, let's just go to the capital and then I can do whatever I need to do and we can go home for the last day of Tokyo, alright?" 

Sehun looked at him. 

"Oh wait a second," Joonmyun realized, the gears in his brain working. "You don't wanna go because you know the horse dies, right?" 

Sehun looked at him. 

"You know what, whatever, let's just go." Sehun still refused to budge, so Joonmyun sighed. "You know we can finish this drama and go back to present time where bubble tea exists." 

Sehun eyed him. 

"Alright, here's my deal, one week's worth of bubble tea," Joonmyun placed the price, putting his hands on his hips. Sehun shook his head, mane flying everywhere and hitting Joonmyun in the face. He spluttered and spit it out, his mouth now tasting like horse hair. 

"FIne, two weeks," he tried to negotiate. Sehun flicked his head in disapproval. 

"Two and a half and that's as far as I'm willing to go," Joonmyun told him. The mount simply stomped his foot childishly and nudged his shoulder, tilting his head to the side. 

"Uh-uh, we ain't going to four, Sehun," Joonmyun disagreed. "Alright, three?" 

Sehun shook his head again, and scratched at the ground with his hoof.

"Two and half then, I already spoiled," the leader pulled back his offer. The horse looked at him in shock and nudged his shoulder again, a bit harder this time. Joonmyun remained adamant, though, and stood his ground. "Two and a half, Sehun, take it or leave it." 

Sehun turned his head away in defiance, signalling that he wasn't listening to Joonmyun anymore. He flicked his tail in the other's face and sent him into a series of splutters and coughs, spitting out the rainbow colored horse hair. 

"Fine, three," he growled, "But only if you stop getting your horse hair all over me. I already have enough to make a bow." He remembered that bows were made of horse hair, from those dreadful days when he thought he was a violin prodigy. Turns out he wasn't suited for the strings when he entered in a violin competition and sebsequently lost. It still scarred him to this very day. 

"Hey, Sehun, we gotta get a move on," he patted the horse flank. When he still refused to move, Joonmyun sighed again. "Fine, four weeks of free bubble tea, that is my final offer!" Sehun turned around and whinnied. He nudged his face and pranced off happily. 

"Hey, wait for me to get on!" Joonmyun called, chasing after the runaway horse. "Dammit, Sehun, get back here!" 

~

It turned out that Sehun never ended up dying. Joonmyun knew that the horse was supposed to die sometime along the road, since Chanyeol watched the Three Musketeers, and oddly enough his favourite character ended up being the old mare. Joonmyun didn't question it. Sometimes it was better not to know the answer. (He learned this when he asked why Baekhyun had bought thirty dollars worth of glue one day). 

They did, however, get sidetracked, since Sehun didn't want to go through the forest with the hungry tiger. He knew from the drama that if they didn't go through the forest they'd have to go around and it would delay their journey until after the military test was complete. Joonmyun tried to reason with him and told him that if it already ate two people today, it couldn't still be hungry, could it? How much could one tiger eat? In the end, Joonmyun managed to win him over with another two weeks of bubble tea. His wallet was crying. 

The next leg of their journey involved staying overnight at a village. The village was very friendly and welcoming, and the girls there took a liking to Sehun, taking turns braiding his colourful mane and tail. The entire village seemed to like the horse, really. The stable boy even gave him more oats. Sehun didn't want to leave the next morning. Eventually, late in the morning he managed to convince the horse to leave and head to the capital using threatening, thanking the villagers and promising to come visit. "Sehun, if you don't get your horse on the road right now, I'll tell manager hyung to suggest another hair-dyeing phase!" 

Joonmyun was happy when they finally got back on the road. Well, he thought they were. He didn't know. 

"We're not lost!" he told Sehun. The horse looked at him skeptically. "Really! We aren't!" 

They were put back on track when they heard a group of merchants heading to Seoul (or Hanyang, Joonmyun didn't know exactly what time period it was). The merchants were loud and were easy to follow behind.  They were all  set.  That is, until Joonmyun remembered that they had to hurry up and get there before the test began. 

"Onwards, Sehun!" he pointed forwards, though the horse remained still. "That doesn't work for you?" 

Sehun flicked his tail. Joonmyun sighed, leaning forward on the mount's back. "Fine, let's go." Sehun set off a moderate walk, with a miserable leader on his back. 

They hurried through the next few days, until Sehun demanded to stop and rest, which Joonmyun complied to moodily. He already had six weeks of bubble tea to pay for, he wasn't going to add anymore. "Sehun, let's go, Tokyo awaits us," he poked at the horse. "Come on, you can't just abandon the last show like this." Sehun looked at him, as if to say Yes I can. 

Joonmyun sighed. "Come, on, let's go now. Think of the fans, Sehun, think of the fans. Think of the fans. Besides, once we get this concert done, we won't have anymore 'til the end of December." 

The thought of a rest after a long concert tour sounded perfect. They all loved performing, whether it be singing, rapping, or dancing, but sometimes the job got to them - little to no sleep, rushed schedules, sasaengs, the news, hate and criticism, the long travel distances, tiring dance practices and intense training. A month break from the concert would do them good. Of course they'd be busy in that month doing other things - other performances, and preparing for their comeback in January. It all seemed to tiring, nearing the end of a tour and then going straight into comeback preparations. Hopefully they'd get a rest period afterwards. 

Sehun grudgingly got up, letting Joonmyun climb on before setting off walking again. To be fair, the horse was carrying a rider and all of their belongings. He was also the one doing all the walking. Joonmyun supposed he had a reason to be lazy. "Alright, here, how about this?" he proposed. "We hurry to get my test done, I pass with flying colors or whatever the hell is supposed to happen, and then poof! We're back in Tokyo!" 

Sehun's flanks moved, as if he was sighing. He neighed quietly before nodding. Joonmyun smiled. "Great. Now we- not that fast Sehun! Not yet! Slow down!" He screamed when the horse began running all of a sudden. After a while he settled down and stopped screaming, gripping the reins tightly. 

With newfound perseverence, they made it in time for the rest, arriving a day before they began. Joonmyun sighed in relief, leaning on his horse's neck as they entered the city. 

Seoul was, to say the least, absolutely enchanting. Men and women in traditional Korean clothes were milling about the streets. A street merchant called out, advertising his product, yelling to have his voice heard over the buzz of the city's voices melted together. There were horses pulling carts of fine silk, another pulling vegetables. The streets were crowded, people and colors everywhere. Everyone and everything was in a rush, hurrying to be on time. There was always another story around the corner, every person had their own tale to tell, their own life and goals and dreams. A boy on a street corner shyly watching a girl pick flowers. Three brothers playing with a toy ball in front of their house. Twin sisters braiding each other's  hair. He overheard a family talking about wedding preparations for their son, and he heard two old ladies chatting about their new clothes. A merchant from China selling clothes, a family business. It was all new and exciting for Joonmyun and Sehun, seeing Seoul in a new light. No busy traffic, cars honking, people on phones, brisk businessmen and women. It was the city they had lived in all their lives, and yet they knew nothing about. 

"Hey!" Joonmyun shouted, having been to immersed in watching everyone else and forgetting to watch himself. "That's my money!" he called, though it was lost in the noise. He pulled on the reins. "Sehun, we have to catch him!" The horse set out, ploughing through the people and knocking them over. He bowled over the two old ladies from before as they were talking about the color of their new clothes. "Sorry!" Joonmyun called over his shoulder. 

They followed the pickpocket through an alley, when Joonmyun told Sehun to turn around. "We'll go around and catch him that way!" The trusty steed sped off in the other direction, and they caught up to the robber on the main street. Joonmyun reached out and tugged at the pouch of money, but instead the fabric ripped and coins fell all over the street. 

People started picking it up, and Joonmyun hastily climbed off Sehun, scrambling to his feet. "Hey, that's mine!" He tried to explain, but no one listened. "It's my money!" He bent down and began picking up as much as he could scavenge, which was only a few coins, the others swept into other's pockets or kicked throughout the street. 

"Out of the way!" Someone called, shoving Joonmyun aside as a horse pulled a cart through the road. 

"Let's go find somewhere to stay for the night," Joonmyun suggest to Sehun, leading the horse through the streets. He tucked what money he could save away, and pulled out the papers his father had sent with him from his belt. "He said his house should be somewhere over here." He pointed to the expensive and grand house, unsure if his father actually knew him. Judging from the looks of the house, this man was rich. His father, - well, from what he had learned, his father was a farmer that lived in the countryside. 

"Name?" Someone opened the door suddenly. 

"Uhhhh," Joonmyun tried to remember the name of the main character in the Three Musketeers. Dammit, why could he remember? 

"You don't know your own name?" the door attendant raised an eyebrow. 

"I do!" Joonmyun answered quickly. "It is Park. Park Dal Hyun." 

"Park Dal Hyun," the attendant repeated. 

"Hwansuk. Jung Hwansuk - My father knows the owner of this house," he fumbled for the papers and handed them to the attendant. "He said I could stay here and take the military test tomorrow." 

"Sorry," the attendant said. "The Minister Kang knows a lot of people. The house is full," he threw the letters on the ground, slamming the heavy door shut. 

~ 

"That's all the money I have, though!" Joonmyun protested. 

"All the inn's are full. Everyone's come to take the military test tomorrow. You've gotta pay extra," the manager shrugged. 

"Fine," Joonmyun grumbled. It wasn't like this was his actual life. He could get it over with and go back in time for the concert. Yes. Then it would be over. It would all be over. 

He dumped his three coins on the desk, and the manager swept them up with grabby hands eagerly. He grinned wide, showing off crooked and yellow teeth. "This way." 

The inn really was full. All the rooms were closed, and a few people even stayed in the hallways, just desperate to get out of the streets, but not having enough money to get a room. The manager led them through the halls until he reached one at the far side of the inn. He smiled again and opened the door. "This room is yours." 

Joonmyun's jaw dropped. The manager blinked. "Well, and his. And his. And his." 

The door closed behind him. Joonmyun gulped, navigating around the  bedrolls, people, and belongings scattered on the floor. He found a tiny space in the corner where he set up his sleeping bag, setting his things down on them. As soon as he was done he collapsed, exhausted. Finally, he was done. He snuggled into his bedroll and relaxed. 

~

Joonmyun was happy to wake up in a warm and soft bed. He smiled and snuggled deeper into the blanket. Wait a second. He sat up, looking around. An old Korean house with wooden floorboards, swords stacked to the side, and two other men sleeping on bed rolls next to him. The door was suddenly smashed open and a dagger thrown at the body of the man next to him. 

"You're kidding me," he deadpanned. "You're ing kidding me."

~ 

"It was Park Dal Hyang," Luhan corrected him. 

"Shut up, Luhan, all you had to do was sell clothes." 

~

Finally. After the third concert in Tokyo was finished, Joonmyun was looking forward to being nice and lazy the next day, when they had no schedules. He shut his blinds and cocooned himself in blankets, laying down in bed with his stuffies and pillows. He snuggled into the blanket, relaxing. Finally, a chance to rest after all the crazy things that had been happening. He sighed in relief quietly. 

"Hyung! Where's my six weeks of bubble tea!" 

"This is not what I trained seven years for." 

3.2k words

ROLES - The Three Musketeers (2014)
Suho - Park Dal Hyang
Sehun - his horse
(mentioned: Luhan - clothing merchant) 

a/n: aha! i managed to get this out in time for the last concert in tokyo! it's today, isn't it? it is! btw, don't forget to vote for exo at the mama awards! also, remember to save a few of your roses for the 26th of november, so the most supported star with be exo for the 27th, chanyeol's birthday. enjoy! 

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