" off, Myungsoo-hyung! It's over now, what kind of excuse are you going to say now?", I yelled at the man who used to be my 'boyfriend' as my hand slaps away his palm that trying to touch me.

"Sungjong-ah, I'm sorry, I never thought that you would take things wrongly like this. If you just give me a chance then I'll-"

"What chance? I've gave you too many of it until I'm sick of being hurt alone!", I'm snapping back at him again before he finished another bull promise. His expression turns bitter as he heard me yelling at him once again. I never raised my voice this high whenever we argued back then, though.

"Look, Sungjong-ah. I can't live without you, what am I going to do if you ever leave me?", he says, still begging on me to stay as he holds both of my hands tightly. He bite his bottom lips as he's looking at me in any possible pleading stare that he could make. Both of our eyes met, yet I'm trying to endure myself for not giving in. I used to fell over it and forgive him right away back then, but not this time.

"Don't be silly, hyung. The way you live your life right now is no different than you're living by yourself.  An egoistic person like you won't ever know what's the difference between living all alone with living with someone that loves you"

"But Sungjong-ah, I've told you that I'm too busy with my work lately. Is that why you're getting upset like this?"

"You're getting busy lately? As far as I know you've been ignoring me for almost a year! Is that what you mean by lately? You're even rejecting all of my calls this week and now you're trying to stop me from breaking up with you? For God's sake I'm tired living like this, Myungsoo-hyung..."

Both of us stays silent until I managed to release my hand from his loosen grip. I can see that his eyes getting watery but I can't let myself being weak  for him anymore.

"Don't go...", he says as tears starts falling from his eyes. For a moment I got hesitate when I saw him crying like this, but I've made my mind.

" I'm sorry hyung, seems like this is the furthest place where we can go together. Goodbye Kim Myungsoo", I say as I'm leaving him before getting into my car and closing the door. I'm starting the engine as I'm looking at him falling on his knees in front of our shared house from the rearview mirror. Guilt is all that I can feel, yet I'm trying to move on and driving the car away from the once our home sweet home.

Up until now, I'm still able to hold my tears and walk away like a man. But eventually I'm starting to feel the loneliness as I'm driving alone, therefore I'm trying to shoo it away by listening to a song from my car's radio. Most of the stations are broadcasting news by now until I found one that starting to plays music.

"Good evening our dear listeners. I've got a request from miss K who asked me to play a song that was meant for her ex-boyfriend. Please enjoy, Maroon 5 - Maps"

I miss the taste of a sweeter life

I miss the conversation

I'm looking for a song tonight

I'm changing all of the stations

Seems like this song perfectly voiced my thoughts right now that it almost like the lyrics was made for me. I'm nodding my head along with the rythm as I'm turning the volume higher when the song meet the reff.

But I wonder where were you?

When I was at my worst

Down on my knees

And you said you had my back

So I wonder where were you?

When all the roads you took came back to me

So I'm following the map that leads to you

"This is funny, I never thought that Adam Levine could perfectly guess what I'm trying to say to Myungsoo-hyung and making it into a song", I say to myself and chuckles over it all alone. I'm humming along with the jam as each words that the song says simply describing how my relationship with Myungsoo-hyung goes until today.

Both of us were a total stranger back then until I found him secretly taking a couple pictures of me when I'm sleeping on a bench in a park. I was startled when I found out that someone is ilegally taking my pictures, but somehow I can't get mad over him as he apologizing to me right away by buying me lunch. He explained to me that he's a novice photographer who got a chance to show some of his photographs in an upcoming art exhibition. He was very happy, but unfortunately he's lacking some photos in his displays, so he decided to have a walk while trying to complete his photo collection, and that's how he end up taking my pictures. I found him pretty amusing on our first meeting actually. Not because of his stalker-ish personality or because of his handsome face though, but because he was the first person who able to make me smile after my doctor told me that I'm having a brain cancer that starts to growing lately on that morning. Soon, I learned that he's a sloppy and forgetful person despite of his neat looks, but none of his flaws restricted me from loving him. It only needs some time until both of us admitted that we're falling in love with each other as I moved into his house right after that.

He was such a lovely person who would whispers 'I love you' as soon as I woke up and brought a table of breakfast on my bed only to show how much he loves me. Like other couples does, both of us also had our troubles such as his rise and fall in his jobs until I had to do extra work in my part time job so we can live normally. Sometimes I got tired because of that, but all of that was like nothing when I'm able to see his smile again when he got his job back.

I was there for you

In your darkest times

I was there for you

In your darkest nights

Finally Myungsoo-hyung got a fixed job last year as he became a professional photographer of a top class magazine. Ever since that our time together getting fewer than before but I'm trying to endure it and saying to myself that it was for Myungsoo-hyung's sake. Even though I can hold my needs to be with him, my health starting to get worse later on. I asked him to accompany me to the hospital yet he's always excusing himself for being busy at work. In the end, I went to have a medical check up all alone which end by getting a verdict from the doctor that my life won't be longer than three months. It feels hurt and I don't know what to do except trying to have a talk about it with Myungsoo-hyung. I was hoping that he'll soothe me with his sweet words yet he rejected my call instead. I got shocked at his act but he keep rejecting it until I'm tired of it. When I got home he suddenly greets me by scolding me for calling him in the middle of an important meeting. It hurts me even more than knowing that my life won't go further than three months.

Ever since that day I'm starting to rethinking of what I've done to him on his darkest times and what he gave to me when I was in my worst time. I was mad at him, but I can't let out my anger at him. Therefore, I decided to leave him. Not only because I mad at him, but also because I don't want him to know about my real condition.

"It's for our own good... It's better this way...", I'm saying to myself as the flashbacks ends along with the song. Eventually I can't hold my tears anymore and let it drips freely on my pale cheeks.

***

It's been two months and a couple of weeks since I left Myungsoo-hyung's house. Nowdays feels like counting my days towards my death as it'll be three months in a couple days. Hell, maybe I'm going to die before three months anyway. Lately I'm used to pass out easily and starting to loose my sense in vision and the other parts of my body. Sometimes I even having a memory loss, and I've been thinking about this person whose name is Kim Myungsoo.

Why can't I remember anything about him in this past three days?

Sure thing that I'm repeating that name in my head over and over everyday, but somehow it suddenly vanished from my memory like a thin air and never reappears again until today. Now I wonder who he is and what he looks like. It confusing me yet I can't do anything about it which making things goes beyond frustrating. I was deep in my thought that I'm not listening to what the passangers around me yells about. Faintly, I can hear them screaming 'watch out!', 'look out!', and 'the light's already green!' as I'm going to cross the street, but there's a voice that sounds really familiar for me which echoing the loudest in my half functioned eardrums.

 "SUNGJONG-AH, WATCH OUT!!"

The person with the loudest voice suddenly pushing me real hard until I bumped myself across the road. I was about to yell at him for what he's done but suddenly a car crashed him right in front my eyes before I managed to scold him. Those guy who pushed me was actually tried to save me as he got hit by the car as the compensation. He flew away several meters from the car as he lands flat on the ground, unmoving right after that. I got scared if my savior hurts that I'm running at him almost immedietly only to check his condition.

I'm kneeling next to him as I'm lifting his head on my lap to check on him. His got a bunch of wounds over his face after he smashed the car's front glass and the rough asphalt ground. His clothes torn here and there and most of them are dripping some bloods on it. Somehow I got a feeling that I knew this person, but for some reasons I can't remember who he is. His breathing goes heavy as he managed to open his eyes and speak up to me.

"S'Sungjong-ah... you're okay... right? ...I'm sorry for making you sad all of the time when you were with me... I'm so sorry...", he says. Slowly he's taking one of my hand as he's trying to hold it firmly and placed it on his chest.

"I...'m... here... I'm here... for... you... Sungjong... ah..."

And the moment I'm starting to remember who Kim Myungsoo is already too late as the person on my lap finally let his last breath go.

"Myungsoo-hyung..."

After that, I'm starting to loose my conciousness again. Maybe this time it will be forever....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okaay, it's been a long time since I ever posted anything haven't I? I can't apologize enough for not continuing 'If I die young' yet I'm making this oneshot (what the hell am I thinking). I'm stuck on the idea of the story and mood to finish it. Jeongmal mianhae... And I'm a type of person who easily change her mood because of one song, and for this case it is because of Maroon 5's Maps~ yaay~ I love the song very much! There's a lot of great covers too at youtube, check it out if you're intrested :)))

Basically all of my stories are full of angst, but still.. WRITING THEM FEELS GREAT AS HELL! You know, It's like I'm addicted to angst and I can't get over it. Anyway, I wish you enjoyed this (crappy) story as well~ Thanks for reading ^^