“Thank you for your hard work tonight.” Ryeowook smiled and waved to the staff leaving the studio. He breathed heavily as he stretched his arms, body aching from sitting for so long. He tidied all his scripts and notes and stood up, preparing to leave.

With his hands on the door knob, he turned the studio door and gasped.

“It wasn’t the usual corridor of the studio. It was a corridor of a school.

His old school.

Ryeowook backed into the room and closed the door, rubbing his eyes. He gingerly turned the knob again.

“Hey!” He sees his younger self and cringed. He had forgotten how chubby he was in the past.

“How was your results for last semester?” He waved and smiled at the girl, who sped up her pace to meet him.

The Ryeowook who was watching felt his heart skipped a beat. It was her.

“I did badly.” She frowned, her eyebrows furrowed together cutely and Ryeowook laughed at his younger self, staring at her with that stupid heart shaped eyes. Had he always looked at her like that?

She gestured animatedly, talking about her bad results and how disappointed her parents will be and Ryeowook watched them, enthralled.

He wasn’t lying to his fans when he said he hadn’t dated ever since he debut. In fact, he had never dated at all. How long has it been since he thought of her, the one and only love he had that never worked out.

“Why don’t you let me help you? I did pretty well on that module.” The younger Ryeowook suggested. She paused. Her friends had caught up behind her.

“Who is this? Your boyfriend?”

Although there was technically nothing wrong with the question, the tone they used was a condescending one. The girls looked at Ryeowook with laughing eyes. She smiled apologetically at Ryeowook and turned, “Nah, just my classmate.”

The older Ryeowook smiled bitterly. He remembered this, she never admitted to anyone that they are friends.

He watch his younger self walk away forlornly and a huge bubble of hate emerge from within him.

“Why am I so ing fat? No wonder she didn’t like you.”

As though to further affirm him of his insecurity, the scene changed to that day that have etched in Ryeowook’s worst nightmares.

“I… I really like you. Can’t we be more than friends?” Ryeowook stammered.

“Oppa…” She started with that soft voice of hers and he didn’t dare look up, didn’t dare face the truth.

“I really enjoy your company and you are a great friend,” Ryeowook felt his chest tighten painfully. “But I like guys that are tall and dress well and well… slimmer…”

Ryeowook looked up. He ought to be upset, he ought to feel offended, but when he saw her apologetic eyes, he felt his heart melt into mush and he laughed.

Laughed because this is how powerless he is against her.

The scene vanished and Ryeowook is back in his radio studio, the door gone.

Ryeowook sunk into his chair, too overwhelmed to move. Everytime during comeback period where he had to go on a diet, he had used his old pictures to discipline himself to train harder. But thinking of her, it was the first time in months.

Ryeowook looked at his reflection in the dark glass door.

“Will she love me like this? Am I good enough for her now? Where is she even?”

Ryeowook wondered, something wet rolled down his cheek and he wiped it off, only to realise it was his tears…

Nine years ago…

Ryeowook crumpled up the paper and tried again.

“Kim Ryeowook if you are wasting paper trying to write the perfect love letter again I swear I will cut your pocket money to buy paper!” His mom shouted from outside.

“Hey, it’s me, Ryeowookie. After so long being friends, I think I have fell for you… Will you go out with me?”

He crumpled up again, “AaAh, it’s not romantic at all!”