I was still hanging with the gang as afternoon melded into evening and we had got a campfire going. Baekhyun had come to join us after twenty minutes of screaming my name at the top of his lungs; Chanyeol had to go get him in the end. He was still shooting death glares in my direction. We sat in a huge circle surrounding the blaze- I was sitting in between Tao and Jongin trying hard not to look in the latter’s direction, focusing on scolding Tao for playing with the fire. It was ironic really, here I was next to the object of my affection completely ignoring him, sitting close to the fire and ignoring the possibility of being burnt-like Tao. I snuck a peek to my left and thankfully he wasn’t paying attention, he was looking at the flames seemingly intrigued. I watched the fiery tongues flicker and dance in the reflection of his eyes giving his normal warm brown tone an amber hue. I used my eyes to trace the rest of his features, along the curve of his nose to the dip in his upper lip then along the bottom one. I nestled my gaze to his chin thinking of the cleft that would become visible when he smiled then marvelled over the sun-kissed skin that shone in front of the fire and stretched across his cheeks; all the way back up to his eyes. He hadn’t felt my stare on him. He didn’t turn to face me. He remained focused on the fire. But what surprised me the most was how much I wanted him to turn, look at me and catch me in the act of ogling him so that he would know. He needs to know. I fought to keep my impulses under control…If I could just tell him…

‘Guys let’s play a game!’ I snapped my head toward the voice a little resentful but a whole lot more grateful for Jongdae and his game urges. A few more seconds and I may have actually done it – confessed. I was furious at myself; all the precautions I had set were flung out of the window by just looking at him. I cringed internally just thinking of how bad it would have been if I had actually done it. I blame the fire. And his perfect face. I slapped my hands over my eyes and groaned which brought me some unwanted attention.

‘Come on it’s just a game Kyunggie’ I looked through my fingers and gave Jongdae a look that I had learnt straight from hell. Kyunggie? Kim Jongdae will pay with his blood.

‘Mark my words Kim Jongdae…’ I paused for dramatic effect and the group had stilled- all noise and movement stopped. I stood up so that from across the fire, where he was sitting, it looked like I was one with the flames. I threw the popping candy I had in my pocket into the blaze making it flare for a moment then added the final touch- my evil smirk.

‘You will burn.’  

I had a tendency to over dramatise but my excuse for that was that it was better to over threaten then over harm. And so over the years I had developed my ‘evil smirk’ I first used it when Baekhyun called me weak, the others were agreeing with him so I… well I got him in a head lock and smirked at the others to show how easy it was. But apparently the smirk made me look the spawn of Satan so I started using it as a threat. No moving needed or payback- it was very efficient. And judging by the way Jongdae was hiding behind Yixing it still worked or he thought I wasn’t kidding; I guess it would be easy to burn him, especially with the fire already prepared for me.

I sat back down as if nothing happened- everyone stared at me with terror in their eyes not wanting to be my next victim. Then I heard a laugh, a strong guttural sound that I would recognise anywhere. I turned and yes I was right, he was laughing- full on, mouth open eye crinkled laughter. He slung an arm around my shoulders and I stiffened so that I wouldn’t do anything stupid.

‘You’re awesome Soo! I’ve never seen Jongdae so scared!’ He kept his arm around me, pulling my body a little closer to his so that he’d be comfortable in that position. I let go of the breath I was holding realising that he probably won’t move his arm for a while. I offered him a slight smile without fully looking at his face the proximity would definitely cloud my already misty judgement. I breathed in his scent trying to be discreet. I could feel his warmth, I hadn’t even realised I was cold. Trying to look attentive was proving harder than I expected- I watched the scenes in front of me: Yixing was asleep on Suho’s shoulder, Baekhyun and Jongdae were arguing while Chanyeol tried to break them up, Tao was now bugging Sehun and Jongin had his arm slung around me and was roasting one of the marshmallows Suho brought with him. Everything began to blur out leaving only me, him and the fire in high definition- like a scene from a movie. I could hear his breaths and feel his chest rise and fall against my shoulder. Why hadn’t he let me go? I snickered softly, I had even started thinking like the lead of a movie questioning the motives of his actions. But there were no motives or meanings to his actions we’re friends and we’re guys- I’m no female protagonist. I chuckled bitterly once more. This would make one twisted movie.

‘Something funny?’ The soft low voice pierced through my cloud of angst and I made the mistake of looking up. Our faces were inches apart-

Words!

Thoughts!

Speech!

God dammit Kyungsoo! Sentences! Remember when we used to form those!

Anything is fine!

Great so now we’re just gonna stare at him… nice one…

At least look away!

Okay since you’re obviously not going to do anything normal in this situation just get up and leave. No more damage can be done. Just up and leave.

‘…up and leave’ slipped out of my lips and I shot up. Jongin’s arm dropped to his side, his brows furrowed in confusion but I had already begun to march away. Baekhyun saw me heading back to the cabin and scurried to my side, not wanting to get locked out again. I managed a wave to everyone and avoided direct eye contact with Jongin then spun on my heel and trudged with Baekhyun into the darkness.

I sunk my face into the pillow feeling hopeless and helpless, the rest of my limbs slung across the bed.

‘Nice going.’ I shifted my face slightly to the side so I could see the bane of my existence.

‘Whas shu meeeh’ was the way that ‘what do you mean’ came out due to the pillow. But as the bane of my existence was also my best friend he could understand my ‘pillow talk’.

‘With Jongin back there’ He said casually while he jumped onto his bed and checked his texts. I froze. After pressing send or whatever he was doing on his phone he looked at me and gave me the ‘whatyouthinkIdidn’tknowaboutyoursecretcrush?’ look followed by the ‘Please!IamyourbestfriendIknoweverything’ snort.

I took my face fully out of the pillow and sat upright giving him the ‘Howlonghaveyouknownlook’ and he just smirked which always meant ‘a while’. I flopped back down into my previous position and shoved my face deeper into the pillow.

‘Kyungsoo!’ Baekhyun’s whine pierced the pillow foam, ‘If you don’t show your face we can’t communicate with looks!’

‘Hwuuud!’ I replied which meant ‘good!’ I knew Baekhyun wouldn’t tell anyone but now he was going to ask a lot of questions I had avoided asking myself. I heard the sound of his phone turning off… Oh gosh no! He only does that when he wants full concentration, zero distractions like when he’s playing computer games or watching dramas. This is bad… This is real bad.

‘Start from the beginning.’ Yep. I’m doomed.

Authors Note:

Hello, hope you're enjoying it - sorry that it's short I'll try to write longer chapters in the future! <3