T For Traditional

“If you keep staring at him like that he will think you like him.” ChangJo teased.

Ricky’s ears were already red when he answered, “I just missed him so much, it’s almost unbelievable that he’s back again.”

They were at a small party ChangJo’s parents were hosting to celebrate their oldest son’s return from college. It was the first time ChangJo’s brother visited since he left two years ago.

Everyone had finished dinner and gone to mingle in the living room. ChangJo and Ricky were standing near the corner watching L.Joe speak to his aunts.

“Yeah I missed him too.” ChangJo admitted. 

L.Joe was saying goodbye to his aunt. 

“When he’s at college I can’t rub it in his face every day that he’s shorter than me.” ChangJo said while grinning.

Ricky laughed heartily. L.Joe was two years older than them but they were both taller than him.

L.Joe glanced over at them, hearing their giggles. He gave a final goodbye to his aunt before walking towards them.

Ricky stopped smiling and blushed. ChangJo resisted the urge to ask him what was wrong. Ricky never answered that question.

They became friends in middle school when they had been paired together for gym class. ChangJo was usually silent but Ricky seemed to bring out his louder side. Whenever they were together they were always laughing about something. They quickly became best friends and the teachers said they were friend soul mates.

ChangJo invited Ricky over one night and that’s how he met L.Joe. Ricky was always shy and polite when he was around L.Joe. Everyone assumed he was scared of L.Joe. ChangJo had asked him if his older brother and said or done something mean to him but Ricky denied it. ChangJo stopped bringing him to the house not liking his best friend being scared. Ricky never told his friend the reason why he was so shy around L.Joe.

When they turned sixteen Ricky’s parents deemed him old enough to be alone in the house and took more hours at work. When he came home from school his parents were usually at work now and didn’t come back until very late at night. 

L.Joe left for college and ChangJo’s parents didn’t like their house so quiet so they invited Ricky over more and more often. Most times Ricky would stay the night at their place. Everyone was happy with the arrangement.

Ricky was like a son to ChangJo’s parents. They adored him, though he didn’t replace L.Joe.

As L.Joe was standing in front of them giving them his toothy grin Ricky’s stomach got butterflies. They hadn’t spoken to each other in years, what would they say to each other?

“You haven’t seen me in two years and yet you are hanging out with Ricky like always? I’m starting to think you like him more than me.” L.Joe joked.

“We were just talking about your height.” ChangJo said.

L.Joe rolled his eyes. “I see you’re still a brat.”

“Only to you.”

“ChangJo come say goodbye to your aunt.” His mother called. ChangJo obediently left.

L.Joe turned to face Ricky. “So how have you been? You’re graduating soon right?”

“Yeah,” Ricky nodded.

“Any plans after that?”

“I was thinking about going to SNU.”

L.Joe raised an eyebrow. “Impressive.” ChangJo had bragged about his best friend to him a lot but L.Joe had thought ChangJo was exaggerating. If Ricky was seriously considering going to SNU he must be really smart.

Ricky smiled politely, wondering why ChangJo had to leave them alone. Of course ChangJo didn’t know. Ricky had never told anyone about his crush on his best friend’s older brother.

Ricky had even thought he had gotten over his crush but seeing L.Joe again today just brought those feelings back at full force. He always regretted never confessing to L.Joe before he left for college.

“Are you dating anyone?” Ricky blurted out. They were alone in the room, this was his chance.

“No I-”

“I like you. I like you a lot and I know I’m younger than you but it’s only two years and soon I’ll be in college too. We can-”

“Is this a joke?” L.Joe interrupted no longer smiling.

“No, I really do like you.” He said weakly under L.Joe’s glare.

“This is disgusting.” At seeing Ricky’s trembling lip he added, “I don’t have any wrong with you being,” He paused and then whispered, “Gay.”

“But don’t come on to me again. I’m not like that alright.” He finished tensely. L.Joe looked around to see if anyone heard them.

Ricky was staring at the wood floor cursing himself for being impulsive. He never should have confessed. His head was bowed, he didn’t want L.Joe to see his tears.

“I won’t tell anyone this. My family loves you and I think of you like a little brother. It would devastate them if they found out about your preferences.”

Ricky felt like L.Joe was waiting for him to say ‘thank you.’ He wasn’t going to say it.

“ChangJo doesn’t know about this does he?”

“No,” Ricky cleared his throat, “No one but you.”

L.Joe felt bad after hearing the boy’s croaky voice.

“Ricky both of us have bright futures ahead. After I finish college and get a good job, I’ll marry someone. A girl. I want the traditional life everyone strides for. I want a white fence surrounding my house. I don’t want to date a boy. You should forget about these feelings. It will make your life easier to be normal.”

“I just want to be happy.”

L.Joe sighed. “And I just want to help you. If ChangJo ever found out he wouldn’t be able to look at you the same. You would lose your best friend. Would that make you happy?”

“ChangJo isn’t narrow minded like you.” Ricky sniffled.

“Just go home and pretend like this never happened. I’ll tell them you said goodbye.” L.Joe said strictly.

Ricky nodded and ran out of the house. He couldn’t believe what happened. Not only did he get rejected but he was also told to never come out.

A whirl of emotions were churning his stomach and he bent over and puked in one of ChangJo’s neighbor’s shrub. He was angry and devastated. Ricky didn’t know what to do.

He wished that he could forget about the whole day, that he had never even met L.Joe.

The worst part was that Ricky could never tell his best friend. He didn’t want ChangJo to leave him like L.Joe said. He was scared. Ricky had thought L.Joe would never be so close minded, he didn’t want to be wrong about ChangJo too.

Ricky ran home as fast as he could. The tears were flying off his cheeks.

His parents weren’t there. They were probably at work still.

Ricky sobbed into his pillow until he fell asleep, knowing that tomorrow he had to act like nothing was wrong.

AN: SNU is one of south korea’s top universities btw. 

I hope you guys liked this chapter too! please leave a comment telling me what you think! ah also I will be able to update more quickly because things have calmed down recently! I’m excited to finish this story! :D