~~~

The melancholic sun strained my eyes, somewhat heating up this red leather jacket that you had given me for our damn sixth anniversary, five years ago, feeding your stupid obsession for couple stuffs. Do you even remember these couple black sneakers we used to wear, oh and even our couple bracelets? I’m still wearing it now. Though I know this won’t matter to you anymore.

Sigh.

It’s another gloomy Saturday afternoon which I found myself sitting again next to you. Yeah I know, she’ll get mad if ever she’ll find out that I still run to you after all these years. Don’t you worry dear, she’ll never know. “Don’t you miss me here beside you?” The spot where I used to believe where I belong. The spot which I will never trade to anything in this world.

I smirked on how silly I am, trying to be with you even if I am fully committed to Kiko, I must be a retard. “Every ing Saturday, cheating day, huh?”

Once again, I’m ranting endlessly how events turned out to be. How I hate her now, how she treated me these past few days, how she flirted as if I was some sort of garbage she just picked and tossed again where she found me. I know, I am the one who made her like that. I’m the first to make her feel that she will never replace you. But can you blame me?

I’m seriously conscious that it’s my fault why she became so rude. I love her but not as much as how I feel for you. It is unfair, I’m aware of that. If I could only turn back time. I shouldn’t have gotten too wasted that night that you paid for everything. I’m so sorry. I want you back. Please? Come back to me. Can I touch you again? I wish I could. I want to feel your fingertips again, brushing through my soft tendrils before I sleep. Oh, how I miss your surprise back-hug whenever I feel down to cheer me up. Those sleepless nights we spent just watching those stars carving against the greedy black sky canvassed above us. And how could I forget those tender lips of yours? God! This is so frustrating! I seriously want you back this instant! Can’t you see? “I still love you, Dara.”

Yeah, keep your mouth shut.

There you were again with your usual silent self whenever I start to lose my temper. Just like the old times. How could you be so kind to me, even if I almost turned into something like monster and there you were, keeping yourself cool, understanding the my crooked mood. I once again wanted to say, “I am really sorry.” I know, you won’t forget those bruises that made a permanent mark in your life. I was so sick, like a psycho. Ruining everything so good about you, feeling greedy that I thought I was under exorcism. But I learned my lesson now. And I’m deeply sorry, seriously.

After all these years, my feelings for you were still the same. Even those nights I had with her. All I could see was your face, your being, your warmth, your embrace. How could you be so selfish that even if you know that I love you so much, more than I love myself, left me breathless? Not that I’m mad or what, but I just wanted to know why didn’t you hold on in that time when I needed you the most? When you taught me how to believe in forever… Then just leave like that?

Silence.

That’s all you could give me. And I’m fine with that.

I tried my best to keep my distance to you. For I respect how you want your personal space to be. I wanted to lean myself on you and cry like a child being lost in the world where I have never been. But my eyes betrayed me, tears streamed like an avalanche. “I missed you so much.”

I sincerely miss you right now.

The heaven made the sun to perish with the crisp sound of droplets of water against the ground as I cannot control how the darkness swallowed the night with the flock of crows fleeting above, searching for their safe haven as I lift myself up, freeing the bouquet of red roses that you always adored with my head bowed down. I turned away, feet heavily walking through the muddy puddle drowning the green grass. I couldn’t help but to look back at the person I love the most as my lips drew a line of bitterness before I heaved a sigh. “I’ll be back again next Saturday to deliver some fresh roses, I love you…” I murmured as your grave faded with the thick icy mist.

A/N: Told you this is short. Haha. I'm back to tabisan world.

BYE~~~ 

xoxo