“I’m leaving.”

“This is just a joke, right?  You’re not leaving me.  You’re just joking, right?”

Sungmin shook his head.  His eyes already felt heavy.

"I'm tired of all this...maybe we both are wrong....maybe you are wrong with what you feel all this times...."

"No, I'm not. I still love you.  I always do...it's only you."

The younger shook his head while his tears keep on pouring heavily.

"Our love is a sin from the start.  Maybe this is a sign that we should stop all these.  You have a child and that child is not coming from me.  I love you both...truly but I can't keep this up anymore.  I give up."

The older tried to hug the younger but he pushed him away.  He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes tightly as a sign to collect the strength. 

"Let's not meet again."

“Baby, don’t do this to me.  Please…Minkyu needs us.”

“She already has her own parents.  She didn’t need me.”

“Baby, have a pity on me.”

“I always take care of other’s heart until I neglect my own.  This time let me be selfish.  Take care of Minkyu.  Please don’t make her remember an awful person like me.”

Sungmin still remembered clearly every second happened to him and Kyuhyun on that dreadful night.  He still remembered the shocked face made by Kyuhyun.  He remembered all of them but he also remembered how hard it was to leave the older and their baby.  It was not an easy choice.  He pondered the times when they were finally together after Sungmin finished his three years of study in Japan.  After that, they settled up and ended up as a married couple although not officially.  It was all going on nicely just like Sungmin loved it to be until he made a mistake by suggesting to Kyuhyun to find a surrogate mother.  He never regretted having Minkyu as his daughter but he really loathe Minkyu’s biological mother.  Minkyu was an adorable little baby princess for him while Seohyun was a witch.

Luckily Minkyu took a lot from Kyuhyun’s traits and figures.  He couldn’t understand why Kyuhyun didn’t see the true colour of Seohyun.  Kyuhyun would shrug it off and said that Sungmin just imagining things but those hateful glares and mocking tone from Seohyun really made him wanted to punch her if only he had the guts to do so.  The of their argument was when Minkyu accidentally tripped on her feet and at the exact time Kyuhyun was home and accused him for being irresponsible.  Damn!  If he was not responsible umma how the hell Minkyu could grow healthy and a chubby baby at her seventh months old.  Sungmin was sure he was a great mother figure compared to other real mother out there.

Right now, Sungmin stayed with Donghae in his apartment.  Not that he wanted to go there but Donghae assured him it was okay for Sungmin to live with him since he lived alone and felt lonely sometimes.

“Hey, bunny.  What are you doing here alone?  Watching the tv or let the tv watch you?”

“Oh hyung, you’re here.  How’s work?”  Question was being answered by question.  Donghae pinched his chubby cheeks and ruffled his jet black hair.

“I’m asking you and you ask me back?  Work will always be the same.  Now, I’m asking you what did you do the whole day alone?”

“Nothing much.  Just remembering stuff…”  Sungmin let out a sigh and slumped his shoulder.

“You missed Minkyu, don’t you?”

“Of course I am.  She’s my daughter.  Are you kidding me?”

“How about Minkyu’s appa?”  Donghae tried to provoke him and earned a glare from the younger.

“Don’t start it, hyung.”

Donghae shrugged his shoulder before he pulled Sungmin’s shoulder closer to him.

“Sometimes you need to low your ego and pride, Min. I can see you missed both of them but you try to deny it.  Just go and see them if you missed them so much.  Minkyu missed you too.  Kyu told me she always crying at night.  She must want to be with her real umma.”

“Her real umma is that witch.”

“Aww you know better than that.  She loves you, her adorable Minnie umma.  I bet Seohyun can’t even replace herself in Minkyu’s heart.”

“You’re flattering me, Hae Hyung.”  Sungmin tried to sound firm but he couldn’t hide the small smile crept on his lips when he remembered the times he spend with his little baby.

“Just go and meet them.  I’m sure Kyuhyun missed you too.  A lot.”

***

Sungmin was standing in front of Kyuhyun’s door apartment.  He had ringed the bell several times but not to avail no one opened it.  So he waited patiently until Kyuhyun went back home by leaning at the wall.  Every ‘ting’ made by the elevator added to Sungmin’s nervousness.  He kept on twisted his head when he heard that particular sound.  Finally his waiting was over.  He saw Kyuhyun got out of the elevator but before he could called the older, another figure appeared behind Kyuhyun cradled little Minkyu on her hips.  Sungmin quickly hid behind the nearest wall while watching them with aching heart and a pair of teary eyes.

He kept on observing them walking until they stopped in front of the door.  Kyuhyun was holding the grocery bags and Seohyun cradled their little one.  Minkyu seems sick because her face was pale and her eyes were half opened…but then something happened.  Minkyu caught the eyes of Sungmin.  They were actually near with where Sungmin hid that was why Minkyu could see Sungmin’s presence.  Her eyes wide opened and she started to struggle in Seohyun’s arms.  Her lips kept on whining in her own language.  Her tiny arms kept on stretched to let Sungmin hold her.  Sungmin bit his lower lips.  Seohyun tried to calm her but she kept on wiggling her small body.  The door opened and the little family entered their house.  Sungmin could only watched Minkyu cried and the cried died when the door closed.

“So, that’s why he never contacts me again.  He already found his happiness.  I’m sorry, Minkyu.  Looks like this will be the last time we see each other.”

Sungmin thought maybe they could make up with each other again.  He was willing to ask forgiveness from Kyuhyun if it was not he saw the event happened today.  Kyuhyun and Seohyun looked good together with Minkyu as their daughter and there was no more space for him to be.  He walked slowly from the older’s apartment.

Away from Kyuhyun.

Maybe this time for forever.

There’s no more hope for him.

He kept on walking…sometimes bumped with other people but he didn’t care.  He didn’t care until rain dropped on his face.  He stopped and titled his head upwards.

It’s raining…

He smiled sadly. Luckily it was rain.  The small rain turned into the heavy rain.  People started running to find shelter but Sungmin kept on walking.  He didn’t want people to see his tears.  If he walked in the rain people won’t know whether the water from his face came from rain drops or tears drop.  His tears mixed with the rain but nobody knows…nobody cares anway…

He felt the vibration in his pocket.

Fishy’s calling

“Hello…”  He anwered weakly but Donghae’s voice sound worried.

“Yah Lee Sungmin!  Where are you?  It’s raining heavily now!”

“H-hyung, c-could you p-pick me up?”  He shivered because of the cold rain.

“Where are you?  I’m coming right now!”

“I’m in front of Baskin Robbins.”

The line went dead without Donghae replied.  He squatted there and stared blankly at the road which started to jammed because of the rain.

His whole bode was drenched wet but he made no effort to dry them a little bit.  Waiting for Donghae felt like ages.  His tears still flow freely but there were no sobs accompanied him.  Suddenly he couldn’t feel the rain but he met with Donghae’s eyes whose also squatted in front of him.

“You’re okay?”

Sungmin nodded.  Donghae sighed.  He knew something was wrong with Sungmin but he decided he would interrogate him later.

“Let’s go.”

He hugged Sungmin’s shoulder to support his body while his other hand hold the umbrella.  As they reached Donghae’s car he let Sungmin in before he entered the driver seat.  Sungmin just kept in silence and hugged his own body.  Tried to keep his body warm.  Donghae glanced at Sungmin’s side and he decided to turn on the radio to light up the mood.

FT Island – After Love was being played right after Donghae the radio.  Sungmin heeded every words sung by Lee Hongki, vocalist of the group.

I thought you were my love
I thought you were my everything
I believed that you would be my last love

It was indeed amazing when finally the first time he met again with Kyuhyun after their ten years separation.

I laughed only for you
I lived only for you
I believed in your love and that it was happiness

Along the time period he was finally together with Kyuhyun he could only felt happiness.

It’s all lies. All lies
Your love for me was all lies
You’ve hurt me so
You left me crying

You said you’ll love only me, protect only me
Your love was all lies
You took away my heart and my love
and leaving me was love

Being loved by one person
Giving love to one person
I foolishly believed that person would be you

It’s all lies. All lies
Your love for me was all lies
You’ve hurt me so
You left me crying

You said you’ll love only me, protect only me
Your love was all lies
You took away my heart and my love
and leaving me was love

“You’re impossible, Sungmin.  I can’t trust you anymore to take care of my baby.”

“Where are you going?” 

“Away from here.  Minkyu should be with her mother.”

He remembered Kyuhyun hateful words to him and his intense glared to him.

{RAP}
To say it was love was a lie
Saying that you loved me was a lie
Saying it was eternal was a lie
Left me Only with the words that she’ll come back
Where did she go (We’re falling further apart)
Where did she go We’re falling further & further apart
I’ll love only you

Just in case you came back, back to me
I can’t love again
Even though you hurt me, and saddened me
I’m waiting only for you

It’s all lies, All lies
Our separation was all a lie
Because you are my love, my all
I’m waiting only for you

But finally he was aware that waiting for Kyuhyun was useless.

It was all lies.

Kyuhyun’s love to him was a lie.

He shut his eyes tightly and hold back his tears.

This time he really gave up.

***

Donghae just finished made a hot chocolate for the younger…he was aware Sungmin didn’t like the bitter coffee.  He waltzed to the living room and took a seat beside the younger who seemed lost in his thought.

“Your drink.”

“Thanks.”

“Mind to share with me what actually happened today?”

Sungmin turned his head towards Donghae’s side and smiled weakly.

“I guess this is the perfect time to follow your suggestion.”

“What do you mean by that?”  Donghae asked Sungmin.  Curious with his statement.

“Remember when you tell me your father needs a talented guitarist in his music school?”

Donghae nodded.

“Is that offer still available?”

Hearing Sungmin’s questioned made Donghae shocked.  He remembered once he offered Sungmin’s job in his father music school in Japan to teach the student played with the guitar but Sungmin rejected it by saying he didn’t want to leave Kyuhyun.  But now he was the one who wanted to grab the offer.

“Sungmin, what really happened?  You said that you didn’t want to leave Kyuhyun.  I’m not letting you go before you tell me everything.”

Sungmin kept silence for a minute.  It hurt to remember back the event today.  It hurt so much!  His heart felt like stabbed by a million of needles without mercy.

“It’s over now, hyung.  He didn’t need me.  Minkyu’s finally be with his mother.  Kyuhyun’s happy, Minkyu’s happy, Seohyun’s happy.   Everybody’s happy.  End of the story.”  The truth was he knew Minkyu didn’t happy.  He saw how awful Minkyu’s condition today.   She was sick and he bet the baby missed him just like he missed the latter but he couldn’t said that to Donghae.  He would surely threw a fit and dragged him back to Kyuhyun’s condo.

“Sungmin…”

“I’m not happy here.  Please let me go, hyung.”

Sungmin’s voice was so heartbroken.  Everyone who listen to his plea would surely understand how hurt he was.  His foxy eyes brimmed with tears…his once chubby cheeks turned reddish and his pink lips quivered.

Donghae didn’t waste any time.  He pulled Sungmin to his embrace and as soon the younger’s face met with his chest, he started to sob silently.  He kissed Sungmin’s hair…tried to soothe the smaller guy.

“It’s going to be okay…everything will ends well…don’t forget there’s still another person who loves you unconditionally.”

“Are y-you s-sure  s-someone o-out there still loves me?”  Sungmin asked between his tears.

“There is, sweetheart…there is…”

And it is me…

***

Kyuhyun massaged his temple.  It had been two years since he last saw Sungmin.  He didn’t even know Sungmin well-being.  He disappeared just like that.  Minkyu now was three years old baby.  She grew up healthily and bubbly.

Just like her umma.

Since one year ago, he only lived together with his daughter.   Seohyun?  That woman had already forbidden to see his little baby because of one incident happened between them.

That evening, Kyuhyun told Seohyun he couldn’t get back early today because he had meeting with the school’s board and asked her to take care of the sick Minkyu.  The latter already hummed on the telephone and he assumed it as a yes.   He knew Seohyun loved her daughter although she was only the surrogate mother.

Luckily the meeting finished early and he rushed to his home only to found Minkyu’s crying alone in her crib without Seohyun’s presence.  Anger started to build inside him when he knew Seohyun left his daughter alone when he already asked her to take care of his daughter.  Right after Seohyun went home they had a big fight which included Seohyun begged for his forgiveness but it was too late now.  Actually this was not the first time he noticed how Seohyun took care of Minkyu.  She just let it easy when took care of Minkyu but Kyuhyun was in no position to argue how the female took care of Minkyu because he knew Seohyun was an employee.  Unlike Sungmin who was stay at home 24 hours and he could take care of the baby well.  The only mistake that he made was when he didn’t watch Minkyu played until she tripped on her foot and cried.  Finally he gathered all Minkyu’s belongings from Seohyun’s apartment and moved it to his condo.

“Appa!  Appa!”

His daughter called him while running and after that she jumped on her father’s lap.

“What is it, baby?”

“Appa, it’s bed time!  Hurry up and shwing my lullaby!”

“Aigoo, it is your bed time already.  Hop on little princess.  Appa will carry you to your room.”

Minkyu giddily hopped on Kyuhyun’s back and wrapped her tiny arms at Kyuhyun’s neck.  He opened the pink bedroom door and put Minkyu on her pink bed.  Her favourite colour just like Sungmin.

“What song do you want appa sing tonight?”

Minkyu pouted while put her finger under her chin.

“Appa, Minkyu don’t want ywou to shwing tonight.  Minkyu wants appa to tell me about umma.”

Kyuhyun raised his eyebrows.  Story about Sungmin, huh?  Well, that’s easy.

“Appa, huwwy up!  Ywou such a shlowpoke!”

“How could you say like that to your appa!  You naughty little princess.”  He tickled Minkyu’s stomach and Minkyu’s laughter filled the whole room.

“Appa, shtop!  Shtop pweaseee….Minkyu’s showy…”

“Do you want to listen to my story about your Minnie umma or not?”

Minkyu nodded excitedly.

“Well, Minnie umma is one beautiful lad.  He’s kind-hearted, bubbly, childish sometimes…lovable and has a nice voice but not as nice as me though…”

Minkyu stucked out his tongue at her father’s remarks.  Her eyes started to feel heavy.

“One thing you should know, he loves you so much…to him, you’re the most precious treasure he ever had.  Your smile is his smile and your tears is his tears…just remember that your umma loves you more than me…”  He smiled sadly.  Minkyu already had her eyes closed but she still smiled.

“Minkyu loves umma mwore…appa, hwand me my tweasure.”

Kyuhyun understood perfectly what she meant by her treasure.  Not her stuff animals…not her squishy pillow but her umma’s picture.  She tend to hug it before she slept every night.

“Goodnight umma…goodnight appa.”

She kissed Sungmin’s picture and Kyuhyun’s cheeks before she closed her eyes once again.

Kyuhyun hold his tears.  It was Minkyu’s ritual every night before she slept.  He felt dismay because his daughter could only kiss the picture.  If only he stopped Sungmin, maybe Minkyu could kissed both of her parents cheeks rather that kissed a picture.  But it was his fault. Not Sungmin and never Sungmin.

“Goodnight, baby.”

***

One evening, Kyuhyun invited Donghae to come to his house since it already been a while they saw each other.  One more, he couldn’t leave Minkyu alone.  He didn’t want Minkyu to feel left alone by her appa when he was out to meet with his friend.

Kyuhyun was in his bedroom to watch after Minkyu after he heard her daughter crying in her sleep.  He left Donghae alone in the living room after he prepared the drink for him.  He was about to approach Donghae when he heard the latter called out a familiar name.  He froze on his spot.

“You finally want to go home, Lee Sungmin.  I try to persuade you a thousand times already but you reject it.  But now suddenly you want to go back.  What happened?”

Silence.

“So, you know how to see me after this whole time.  I thought you didn’t miss to see my handsome face.”

Silence.

“Okay, I’ll pick you up.  Just inform me when you land here.”

Silence.

“Love you too, bunny.  Bye!”

Kyuhyun marched to Donghae’s side and grabbed his collar.  Donghae who just ended his phone call with Sungmin was shocked.  He didn’t expect Kyuhyun to hear his conversation.  He remembered Kyuhyun told him it was hard and took a longer time to calm Minkyu when she was crying.  He thought it was okay to pick up the younger’s phone call but unfortunately fate didn’t side him this time.  Kyuhyun had heard him.

“Is that Sungmin?”  He shot his deadliest stare to Donghae until Donghae felt his nape hair straightened.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”  He averted his eyes from looking into Kyuhyun’s eyes.

“God dammit Lee Donghae!  I’m not deaf!  How could you??  You know how miserable both me and Minkyu are all these year and you have heart to hide it from us?  You bastard!”  He landed his punch on Donghae’s handsome face and stumbled backwards.  His lips were bleeding but he wiped it with his backhands.

“Sungmin didn’t want you to know where he was.  And why care?  You’re the one who shove him away and he turned to me!  I was there when he was broken… I was there when he shed his own tears…I was there when he mumbled Minkyu’s name in his sleep.  I was there with him all the time!  Who are you to tell me where he is??”

“Lee Donghae!”

“Don’t Lee Donghae on me!  I’m not going to tell y-“

“A-appa?”

Both of them stopped their fight when they heard Minkyu’s scared voice. She was peeking behind her door and watched everything between the two adults.

“Baby, go back to your sleep okay.”  Kyuhyun approached his daughter and kneeled in front of her but the kid refused to go back.

“I-Ish Dwonghae u-uncle know where ish umma?”

“No, he didn’t.  He just talk nonsense.”

Minkyu shook her head and ran towards Donghae.  She stared at Donghae with her big eyes.

“Fishwy uncle, pwease tell umma to come home.  Minkyu misshed umma sho mwuch!”

She wrapped her hands with Donghae’s big hands with a big hope in her sparkly eyes.

“Minkyu…go back to your room.”

“I dwon’t want to!”

Kyuhyun lift her up and brought her back to her room but Minkyu kept on struggle in his arms.

“Fwishy uncle!”

Donghae watched with heavy heart.  He was torn between keeping his promise with Sungmin or his pity towards Minkyu.  The kid didn’t know anything about what really happened.  She didn’t deserve all this.  She should have a happy family with her parents.

“I’ll tell you where Sungmin is.”

Kyuhyun halted from his track but he didn’t turn his body.  Minkyu stopped from her struggle and already beamed in happiness.

“Remember I do this because of Minkyu and Sungmin.  Not because of you.”

After he finished his sentence, he strode away to the door and shut the door silently.  He wasn’t a short-tempered man who would slammed the door and scared the innocent baby with his act.

***

“Gosh, it’s been a long time I’ve been here.  Hey, Hae hyung, go and buy me some ice cream.  I’m tired you know.”

“Geez…you’re one annoying bunny.  I wonder why I persuade you to go home when actually I should just let you stay there.”

“That’s because you love me too much to let me stay there.  Now go and buy me some or who knows what will I do to your Nemo’s collection.  You like that, huh?”

“Argh I hate you, Lee Sungmin!  You and your evil bunny side!  Stay here and don’t move.  I will be right back.”  Donghae ruffled Sungmin’s hair before he walked away but his mouth still muttered about Sungmin’s annoying act.

He didn’t go to buy the ice cream in fact he hid behind the trees and waiting for his plan to worked.  He smiled when he caught the small figure jumped on Sungmin’s stomach and Sungmin’s shocked face.  It was so cute!  It had been a long time since he saw that cute face.  Sungmin caressed the child’s brown locks and stared at her face softly.

It was until he heard Kyuhyun’s voice searching for his baby.  He didn’t tell Kyuhyun he brought Sungmin today here but he knew Kyuhyun always brought little Minkyu to the park every Sunday and looked like his plan worked because Minkyu could recognize Sungmin through all the pictures hanged on their wall.

Sungmin was back facing Kyuhyun but Minkyu kept on pushing him until he turned around his body and met with the surprised Kyuhyun.  He saw how Kyuhyun hugged him tightly and how Minkyu kicked her father’s leg.  He chuckled with the cute action.  Kyuhyun pulled Sungmin to sit on the bench while Minkyu ran away to play in the sand box.  Both of them seemed in the deep conversation until Sungmin ran to his daughter and hugged her while crying.  Kyuhyun must be explained everything to him.

He watched Kyuhyun took Minkyu from Sungmin’s arms and carried her while his other hand grabbed Sungmin’s small hands.  Both of them smiled to each other fondly and walked together.  Donghae bit his lips.  He was glad Sungmin finally got together with his family.  He still watched them until Sungmin saw him between the trees and smiled gratefully to him while mouthing a ‘thank you.’

He raised his thumbs up and smiled dorkily to his lovely bunny.  Kyuhyun leaned down and pecked Sungmin’s lips and smiled gently to his lover and Sungmin blushed cutely while Minkyu gawked at them.

Donghae leaned his body to the tree and wiped his tears.

“It’s okay, Hae…it’s okay…as long as he is happy, you’re happy too..”

He threw one last glance to the happy family…smiled and walked away from there.

Thank you so much, Lee Sungmin…you bring happiness to the person around you…