Mind over matter. Mind over Matter.

That was all I could think of when I did the last set of squats out of the 8 sets. It was one of those days where I was feeling extra energized for Physical Education. My body was fond of physical training, it was somehow one of the ways for me to escape some stress and concentrate on me, myself and my body. I rarely had any time to think about my body these days especially when the Final exams are just around the corner. I had no time to even eat proper food, I recalled eating peanut butter bread and popping some jelly beans in class though.

I didn’t know that when you’re an 11^th grader, your schedule would be this messed up. I hardly have time to watch my favourite drama during the weekends. School work has been occupying my life, piles and tons of them on my desk. I swear my brain could explode anytime soon, if it’s possible. Look at what I’m thinking about now? Schoolwork again, and school hasn't even ended yet.

“Make sure you drink lots of water today! You’re dismissed” as soon as I heard the teacher announced dismissal, I made my way into class and as usual, I reached class the earliest. Nope, I don’t have close friends, my classmates are my friends, and it’s not all of them, just the few that are willing to open their mouths to talk to me are considered one. It’s no longer a surprise if nobody talks to me for a day or even a week. I'm starting to reconsider my existence in this school, fortunately there are some people who recognises me, even those who I haven't really met or talked to. How do I know this? Well, apparently, that day after Physical Ed, I received a very special pleasasnt surprise, at least to me it is. On top of my table, there was a letter with my name on it. The letter smelled nice, the smell of a man's perfume, it made me blushed. Well, face it, when you receive something like that, it only means one thing! Someone has taken an interest on me! I looked around the empty classroom, just in case someone was hiding or peeking into the class, fortunately, I saw no one.

The letter was sweet. It was a short poem that talks about his day and how he finds me beautiful today and the days before. This is something foreign to me and I’m not sure what I should do with the letter. Right at the end of the paper in smaller sized handwriting, was a short note he left for me, he told me to sit at the table near the vending machine at the canteen for lunch so that he could find me. So, I did as I was told. I was kind of expecting a greeting or a conversation. However, I received nothing while I ate my lunch alone at the table like some dumb kid, looking around trying my luck to find the person who sent me a letter. I was clearly disappointed. I even thought someone was trying to prank me with this stupid plan.

The same thing happened every time after Physical Ed on Tuesdays, this continues for about a month. He would always try to make me do something at the end of the letter, something like; sitting at the school’s soccer field and watch the soccer training or even eating the chocolate pudding at the hallway. I find it funny how I’m actually following everything he asked me to. I was enjoying these few acts by myself, it was mysterious and I don't know, I'm thrilled of just wondering that one day, this guy will come out of nowhere and tell me that he is the one that's been giving me all those sweet letters. It's funny how I can imagine myself being speechless and awkward in that situation. It haunts me and excites me, that is why these days, I prepared a skit of my own if anything of what I had imagined will happen in the future. I branched out a few different scenarios and dialogues and try to counter them starting from what kind of person this guy would be and what he might say. 

From the letters, I could tell, he was an outgoing and sporty person. He talks about playing the basketball whenever he is free, goes jogging every saturday with his sister, he is even thinking about going trekking during the holidays. I realised that he loves food too, sometimes his poems would includes metaphors that has got to do with food, some random made ups stuff of his own. I remembered him telling me about his sister in one of his letters, something that goes like his sister went to an all-girls school and is really pretty and talented. I really love how he can easily compliment people, well especially if it's meant for me. It's crazy how I know a lot of things about him without actually knowing him in person. Makes me wonder if he knows anything at all about me except for general things like my appearance and my schedule in school. As much as I love all these mysterious 'fling', I would really love to know who this person is. 

I figured that if I wanted him to reveal himself, I would stop doing what I am told to do for every one of his letters. I mean, I have to admit it, he has been taking advantage of my super nice pesonality. So, I avoided doing anything that he told me to, it took him two weeks to actually mentioned about my little act. He said he discussed it with his sister about the situation and recieved a really bad nagging from her. His sister told him that he was being selfish and that if she were me, she would have already moved on and ignore such person. I love his sister and I believe she is way more smart than what he described her as. So, on friday I received a letter from him which is odd because his letters always came on a Tuesday. I remembered hearing my own heartbeat raced, it felt like I had sprinted around the whole school. His letter started with the usual, "Afternoon Soo-shi", see, what did I tell you about him loving food? Anyways, the letter goes like this;

Afternoon Soo-shi, I've been thinking about stuff a lot for the past three days after passing you the recent letter on Tuesday. I realised how selfish I am, I mean, I get to send letters to you and share my day with you. I needed a person who I can tell everything to without them actually telling me what to do and all and you were kind of there. I could tell you anything I want and I was feeling comfortable putting everything on paper. I don't want you to think that I am taking advantage of you or anything and I'm sure you thought of that, that is why you don't respond to my requests in the letters anymore. I regret what I did and I'm truly sorry. I figured that you would actually know a lot about me already and I don't know anything much about you other than your school schedule. I don't even know if you have any siblings or if you have any pets. As for someone who admire you a lot and has taken quite an interest in you, I feel like I'm losing a lot and I don't want to look back thinking that I've missed a lot on something that could have start at least somewhere. I hope you're free tomorrow, I planned something for us. If you're fine with it, at the end of school today, indicate at least something on the whiteboard in class that you're willing to go out with me tomorrow. If you are able to make it tomorrow, wear something comfortable, I would prefer no heels and meet me outside the famous ddukbeokki store at Samcheongdong at 12 pm. Hope to see you tomorrow!

Firstly, I'm glad he realised some of his mistake. Secondly, what in the living smores am I supposed to do?! This is definitely something new and I didn't think about this scenario. All the 'counter-attacks' I have thought of would be totally useless! I was expecting a meet up in school but a date out of the blue is well, shocking! Of course, I don't want to miss this opportunity, this is what I wanted and as far as I'm concerned, nothing can change my mind for tomorrow. I am going to make myself as free as ever. At the end of class, I took the whiteboard marker and clearly wrote a big 'I would love to' on the board. What is sanity?