Confession Room

I felt something caressing me; it was a gentle touch. That touch which makes my heart flutter everytime it presses on my skin. I tried to reach for the hand that caresses my face. I grabbed it and held it tight.

"Please don't leave me. I need you with me," I begged the owner of the hand. But soon the owner held back his hand. I held it tighter, not wanting to let go of it but his hand was so strong that it made my hand flew to the other side.

"No!" I cried. Tears flowing from my eyes. "Please... stay with me Siwon," my voice cracked upon saying the last word.

Then I felt a pair of hands shaking me. "Hey! Hey! Wake up!"

I opened my eyes as I realize that I was dreaming again. Dreaming of him again. I looked around where I was; I was at the church. Still at the church; waiting for him to come back. It has already been 8 years since that night happened. I tried to get over it and him, but I just can't. I've been struggling to forget him but I couldn't. I tried to do some stuff just to forget him; even to the extent of taking my own life, but I can't. I still find myself coming back here, to this place where he broke my heart. Deep in my heart, I'm still wishing that maybe he would show up here. That's why I come here every December 25. The very day he left and made me into who I am today; a complete loser. An emotional crap in the society.

"Hey! Are you okay?" A man beside me asked.

"Mind your own business, dude." I answered him with a disgusted look.

"You know what, I always see you here every Christmas eve. What do you do here, huh!"

"Why do you care?" I answered him in a very y voice.

"I'm just curious. You know, I'm a writer. You can tell me your story if you want. I might as well turn it into a bestselling novel. You like it?"

"Whatever!" I shouted at him and stood up from the wooden chair.

"Hey, looks like we got some love letter, eh?" I turned around and saw him holding a piece of paper. He smirked at me and looked at the paper to read the letter aloud.

"here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)"

He stopped reading and made a confused look. I know where that paper came from. I know that poem. I've memorized that poem with my whole heart. It was that poem; that poem which gaves me the assurance that he will forever love me. That somehow made my heart skip. Is it possible that he's here? I ran towards the man and snatched the paper away from him. I looked at the paper and immediately found out that it was his. I knew very well his handwriting. I'm certain that he's just here and I know that he saw me. I searched the large church. I first went to the altar, but he was not there. "Siwon! Siwon! Where are you?" I shouted which made echoes inside the church. Then I went at the back of the altar where there's a door that opens to the house of priests. I was hesitant to go but I did. I searched for him but the lights were turned off. I thought that the priests might probably not here. So I got out and went back to the church. I saw the annoying man watch me as I stupidly shout for Siwon's name. I rolled my eyes and just ignored him.

"Yah! Siwon! Where are you?" I ran around the big church with tears flowing from my eyes. I remember that pain again. But I also remembered something. I ran out of the church and went at the back. I saw a staircase and followed it. I ran upstairs and finally arrived to a dark room. The place was so silent. I looked around and saw the big dark bell hanging at the center. I walked towards it and touched it. It was still rusty, and dusty. I reminisce our past as I wander around this dark and dusty place.

"Paboya! Where are you?" I shouted but no one answered. "Yah! I know that you're just here! Please show up yourself!" I begged. As I walk, I saw another piece of paper; it was covered with dust and brown in color with "S ♥ S" written on it. I could still remember when we wrote this paper. This place was our hang out place.

"Ya! Can't you hear me? I said show up! I'm just here, waiting for you. Please let me see you just once," my voice became softer. I felt something heavy on my throat. I tried to swallow it but instead, tears continued flowing. I tried to call him again; but there's still no answer. I felt myself getting tired. I felt so restless. So I went out and got back in the church. The annoying man was still there but he's not watching me anymore. He's doing something else, which is a good thing. It would be very embarassing if someone sees me crying like a baby.

I wiped the tears on my cheek with the back of my palm. I walked and went in the middle; at the aisle. I pretended to hold a bouquet of flowers; I then marched down the aisle. I imagined him waiting for me there at the altar. I imagined the day of our lives. But stopped walking, when I came to my right senses. I realized that what I want will never happen. Tears started to roll down again as I try really hard to stop it from running down. Due to the embarassmment, I ran quickly, not knowing where to go. Then I found myself inside a cubicle. It was a small room. Inside was a big square hole with lots of smaller holes on it. It was so quiet; so peaceful. So I felt safe to let my feelings out here; where no one would hear me. Loud sobs could be heard from this cubicle; but I don't care. I just want to cry my heart out. But suddenly, a familiar voice was interrupted my dramatic moment.

"Are you crying?" the familiar voice inquired. I was stunned at his voice. I knew his voice. It's like a lullaby to my heart when I heard him speak.

"Siwon, is that you?" My voice cracked.

"What are you talking about, Miss?"

"Yah! I know you are Siwon! You can't fool me! I know your voice by heart. I could tell it!" I cried.

"Oh, you must have mistaken me for someone else. I'm a priest here, Miss. I'm sorry." I heard him say and I swear that this guy is Siwon! I just know!

I didn't reply. I just continued crying.

"You have a problem Miss? Mind sharing it? the man at the other side spoke.

"Why don't you just mind your own business!???"

"I'm sorry Miss but this is my business. It's our job to listen and give counsel to people who need help. Come on, just share it."

Then I just gave in. It would be better to share it to someone. He can't see my face and that means it's less embarassing.

"I, I.........." I struggled to talk.

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Ooh, I wonder who the priest is? and oh! who's the annoying guy??? o.O

Hello guys! Wow! I thought no one will read this fic so I decided to abandon it. But because of you guys, I changed my mind. Hehehe! Tell me what you think about my update, okay? I'll update if Ireceive comments :))

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!