::: i’m sorry it takes forever to update. are you guys still here? :::

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À 

The other day, I see Baro at the usual café.

“Hey!” Baro walked to me when he saw m at the end of the café.

“Hello,” I smiled.

“Wassup?” he stood beside me.

“I feel bored at home,” I sighed. “Can I order something?”

“Sure,” Baro let out a small notebook and a pen from his work uniform pocket. “What do you want?”

“Umm..” I looked at the menu in my hands. “A chocochips cupcake.”

“Chocochips cupcake…” Baro murmured as he wrote down my order. “Anything else?”

I shook my head. “Nope. I’m on a diet,” I grinned.

“Yeah, you’re in a diet and you just ordered a high-calories and sugar chocochips cupcake,” Baro teased.

“Hey! A little chocochips cupcake won’t make any change!” I protested.

“But I think you’re chubbier now.”

“Huh?” I put my hands on my cheeks. “Really?”

Baro laughed. “You think?”

I just opened my mouth to argue back, but Baro had run into the kitchen. “That boy!”

I know he just teased me. But still… I was worried about my weight. I gained a lot of weight during the last two weeks holiday.

I didn’t bother to turn my head around when I heard the café door opened. I kept on staring outside the window.

“Gongchan?” I heard a familiar voice calling my name.

I turned around, a little bit shocked to see the figure standing near me. “Jinyoung-hyung.”

“You’re alone?” he smiled.

“Well…” I shrugged.

Jinyoung-hyung sat down in front of me.

“What about you?” I asked. I thought that I’d be happy to meet him here. But I was wrong.

“I’m on a date with my fiancée. He’ll be here soon.”

“Oh…” my heart sank deeper.

Just then, someone came in. he walked to me. Since I know him, I greeted him, “Hi Sandeul-hyung!”

Instead of greeting back, Sandeul-hyung looked shocked. “G-Gong…chan?” he stuttered.

What’s wrong with him? Why did he look so shocked finding me here?

“Oh, so you guys had already known each other? But I still have to introduce you right?” Jinyoung-hyung said. “Sandeul, this is Gongchan, one of my students. And Gongchan, this is Lee Sandeul, my fiancé.”

“Deul-hyung?!” it’s my turn to be shocked now.

Sandeul hyung avoided my eyes. He looked troubled. And I was really shocked. I stared at Sandeul-hyung, couldn’t believe it. Sandeul hyung was Shinwoo hyung’s boyfriend, right? And he was engaged to Jinyoung-hyung?

“What’s wrong?” I heard Jinyoung-hyung asked in confusion, but I was too shocked to say anything. I only stared at Sandeul-hyung in disbelief.

“One chocochips cupcake is here~” Baro’s singsong could be heard suddenly. He came with my order in his hands—I knew it although I didn’t break my stare at Sandeul-hyung—who still avoids it.

“Hey, what happened?” Baro asked and Jinyoung-hyung shrugged.

/

“Hello? Deul?” Shinwoo-hyung picked up the phone. “Oh, hi… Yes… Oh I see, I understand. It’s okay… Yes, Deullie, I won’t be mad, I promise…”

I watched Shinwoo-hyung did the phone call with Sandeul-hyung.

Shinwoo-hyung loved Sandeul-hyung so much. How would he react if he knew that? Sandeul-hyung had been cheated on him? He would be hurt—of course. They had been dating for two and a half year. I don’t know since when Sandeul-hyung engaged to Jinyoung-hyung. Should I tell Shinwoo-hyung? I don’t think so. I knew that all the truth would be revealed sooner or later.

And… What about me? My feelings towards Jinyoung-hyung? Well, yes I like him… I admit that I like him. But I still didn’t know if it’s love or just close feelings between teacher and student.

Did I feel hurt? Maybe… I felt like come to an end when I know that he was already engaged. It hurts to know that he would never love me back. Well, I never wanted a special relationship with him—since he is seven years older than me. But still… It felt hurts. Although I know that the pain I felt was nothing compared to Shinwoo-hyung’s feelings if he knows the truth about Sandeul-hyung.

“Okay, Duckie. I love you,” Shinwoo-hyung ended the call.

/

As I mentioned before, the truth would be revealed—slow or fast. And it’s really true. No matter how tricky Sandeul-hyung had hid it all from Shinwoo and Jinyoung-hyung, in the end, all the secrets would be exposed.

It was another piano class with ‘my favorite’ Jinyoung-hyung. And it was raining when the class is over. So I waited for the rain to go away in the lobby. I blamed myself for not bringing my umbrella when I know that it was going to rain.

I realized that someone else was with me—Lee Sandeul. He didn’t say anything to me, although he knew that I was here next to him. He avoided me since I met him at the café. He never says anything to me when he came to Shinwoo-hyung’s house. So did me. I never spoke first. I always went to my room every time he came.

“You’re waiting for Jinyoung hyung.” I broke the awkward silence. It sounded more like a sentence than a question.

“Oh… Y-yes,” he answered, not looking at me.

I only nodded my head. Again, the silence came.

“Uhmmm, Gongchan-yah,” Sandeul-hyung called hesitantly.

I turned my face to him.

“C-can I ask you something?” Sandeul hyung played with his fingers.

I knew what he was going to say. But still, I asked him. “What?”

“Please do no tell Shinwoo about my relationship with Jinyoung. Can you?” he pleaded.

I didn’t answer. I won’t promise if I can’t keep it.

“Gongchan-ah. Please. I know you are disappointed with me because of lying all these times. But, please. Promise me you won’t tell him. I promise, I will tell him myself someday. Really,” he begged. “Gongchan yah, can you?”

“Uhmm… I-“

I couldn’t finish my sentence because someone called my name. “Gongchan!”

We both turned around to find Shinwoo-hyung walking to us.

“I bring this umbrella for you,” Shinwoo-hyung said as he hands me my purple umbrella.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Welcome,” Shinwoo-hyung smiled at me. He turned to Sandeul-hyung, “Deullie-yah, what are you doing here?”

[End of Gongchan’s p.o.v]

“I… I’m waiting for someone,” Sandeul forced a smile.

“Someone?” Shinwoo raised an eyebrow. “Who?”

Just then, the ‘someone’ Sandeul meant came. He walked to the three of them and smiled (as always).

“Hi, all. Hi Deul,” Jung Jinyoung greeted.

Shinwoo frowned when that person greeted Sandeul in a different way.

“I’m sorry Deul, for making you wait,” he stepped closer to Sandeul.

Shinwoo was getting suspicious. Who the hell is this guy?

“I-it’s okay,” Sandeul answered.

“Thanks, Baby.”

Shinwoo felt jealousy burning inside him. ‘Baby’?

Shinwoo looked at Jinyoung intensely while he asks Sandeul in his ice-cold voice, “Lee Sandeul, would you please introduce this guy to me?”

“This…” Sandeul wasn’t sure how to tell.

Jinyoung cut off. “Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Jung Jinyoung, Sandeul’s future husband. And you?”

Shinwoo clenched his fists, holding back his anger and not to punch Jinyoung’s face. “You don’t have to know who I am,” he stated. Thankfully he could control his emotions and temper. “Gongchan-ah, let’s go home.”

He took Gongchan’s hand and walked away.

“Who is he?” Jinyoung asked Sandeul. But Sandeul didn’t answer. “Hey, Deullie yah, are you okay? You look so pale. Are you sick?”

Sandeul forced a smile. “No. I’m okay. Don’t worry.”

But it was (another) lie.

/

Gongchan was writing something when he saw Shinwoo walking out from the shower. Shinwoo threw himself on the couch and let out a long sigh. He leaned his tired back and head and closed his eyes.

Gongchan eyed his hyung from the corner of his eyes. He pretended to continue writing when Shinwoo opened his eyes again.

“Life is full with surprises, isn’t it?” he said out of the blue.

“It is,” Gongchan answered.

“So… Who was that guy? What’s his name? Jung… Jung Jinyoung?”

“Yes. My piano teacher.”

“Ah, so that’s your piano teacher.”

There was a moment of silence before Shinwoo spoke again. “It’s funny,” he chuckled, “My little brother’s piano teacher is engaged to my boyfriend.”

And your little brother is falling in love with his piano teacher, Gongchan added in his heart.

/

After the unexpected meeting of the three of them, Sandeul disappeared. Shinwoo didn’t mind at all. He wanted to forget Sandeul, so it’s good that Sandeul has disappeared.

But Jinyoung, who still didn’t know what’s going on, was worried to hell that Sandeul was nowhere. Until one day, he received a letter from Sandeul.

To: Jung Jinyoung

I’m sorry for disappearing all of the sudden. I’m too ashamed to face you now.

I want to say something. You can be mad, angry and everything—but please, forgive me.

I’ve been cheating on you. It’s been two and a half year. The guy we met at the piano course place was  Shinwoo—my boyfriend. I hid it all from you and I felt more scared since we engaged a year ago.

I know it’s wrong. I’m not supposed to do this. But I love the both of you. I can’t choose one between you. I already have you, but then I met Shinwoo and fell in love once again.

I was so stupid. I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. Please forgive me.

I just want to ask you one thing. Please, forget me. Just forget me and everything about us and go back to your life.

And I want to give you back this engagement ring. I don’t deserve it even since the first time you gave it to me.

Jinyoung-ah, thank you for everything you’ve given me. I’m really sorry, from the deepest part of my heart.

Please forget me and all our memories.

I love you.

-Lee Sandeul

And another heart had been broken.

/

Sandeul was in his bathroom, inside the bathtub. He let the water run down from the faucet and into the bathtub although the water was already overflowing. He was stressed. He couldn’t stop thinking about Jinyoung and Shinwoo. He felt so guilty, so blameworthy. And he felt so stupid that he betrayed them, who had given him pure and sincere love.

Sandeul closed his eyes. He let his body moved down into the warm water. The water had reached his nose when he heard his sister knocking the bathroom door.

“Sandeul-ah, what are you doing there? You’ve been there for more than an hour,” his elder sister’s voice could be heard. But he didn’t care. “Sandeul-ah. Are you okay?”

Sandeul keep lowing himself more and more, slowly, until his whole body was inside the water. Sandeul couldn’t breathe—but this is what he wants. Sandeul’s lungs were barely getting any oxygen. Sandeul shut his eyes tightly to lessen the pain. He held back the urge to come above the water.

“Sandeul-ah, you’re making me scared,” the knocks were turning into bangs.

One second, two seconds, three, four and five. He was going to leave this world in no time.

‘Jinyoung-ah, Shinwoo-yah… Please forgive me… I love you,’ he cried inside his heart. And his body was lifeless now.

“Sandeul-ah….”

The pounds on the door keep being heard.

/

“Jinyoung-hyung,” Gongchan called. It was another piano class.

“Hm?” Jinyoung hummed.

“I’m moving this week.”

“Oh. To?”

“Seoul.”

“You won’t be here anymore?”

Gongchan nodded.

“Okay. Good luck in your new place.”

“Thank you,” Gongchan smiled a little—hoping he could make Jinyoung smile for the last time, and to cheer himself up. Afterall, he won’t be able to see Jinyoung anymore. But, yeah, he has to let him go.

Now he understands. Love does feel hurt sometimes.

/

::: sorry—this is the best i can do ;-; :::