Jongin tugged Yixing through the gaps in the crowd, over to an almost empty corner near the left of the stage where a DJ was playing. Yixing felt elated and extremely anxious.

“You used to dance competitively, right?” Jongin shouted into his ear, hot breath overcoming the pounding music. “Why don’t you show me what you’ve got then, Zhang Yixing?” Yixing’s heart pounded even louder in his ears. His lips twitched up into a mischievous grin and he stood on tip-toes to press his mouth close enough to Jongin’s ear to be heard.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours, Mr. Kim Jongin.” Jongin’s eyes widened and his pretty lips twitched into a little smirk as he opened the top three buttons of his shirt, revealing  an enthralling triangle of smooth skin.

“Well alright then,”

Together, they began to dance, increasing the speed and complication of their dance moves as the song pounded onwards, trying to outdo each other and enjoying every time they conquered or were conquered themselves. Unbeknownst to either of them, a small crowd was gathering to watch the two skilled dancers as they slid their bodies through the motions of the music. Hours passed on that floor and only once both of them were shining with sweat did Jongin lean over and grabbed Yixing’s shoulder.

“Wanna take a break? Get a drink?”

“Sure, okay!” Yixing replied and followed Jongin off the floor. The two headed back to their private room where Jongin ordered a bottle of soju and Yixing asked for water. They collapsed into one of the padded booths and let their breathing return to normal. The lighting was dim and brightly colored, shifting in a rainbow of hues. With a loud bang, Yixing’s herd of puppies appeared in the door.

“Heyyyyy!!” Slurred Baekhyun happily.

“He’s pissed already.” Chanyeol informed the two seated men of the obvious state of Baekhyun’s sobriety.

“I told you you’re a lightweight,” Jongdae laughed, with one arm wrapped around Baekhyun’s waist to keep him steady.

“Shut up Chen-Chen and help me cut the cake!” Baekhyun ordered, addressing his friend by his stage name and poking one finger into his cheek.The rest of their party slowly filtered through the door in varying states of drunken jubilee. They cut the cake, sang, ate, drank, and it was wonderful. Yixing laughed out loud and smiled more than he had in years.

“Come dance with me, Sehun, Jongdae!” Baekhyun whined, grabbing at the sleeves of the boys on either side of him. The cake had been consumed and the clock on the wall read one o’ clock.

“Fine. You guys wanna join us?” Jongdae addressed the room.

“Sure, it’s my birthday, I might as well make a fool of myself!” Chanyeol grinned. Amber nudged Kris in the side with a wink. He glared.

“Excuse me, I am a wonderful dancer, unlike Chanzilla over here.” He insisted stubbornly, eliciting laughs from his companions.

“Zhang Yixing? Coming?” Jongin pushed himself to his feet and started after the birthday boy.

“Yes. I’ll just run to the restroom first. Then I’ll come find you.” Yixing smiled. Jongin gave him a nod and a slightly cheeky smile and disappeared. Yixing stepped out of the private room and was hit by a wave of noise coming up from the dance floor. Spotting a sign for the men’s room on the wall, he followed the neon-painted arrows and arrived in the crowded restroom. The line was longer than it looked, and by the time Yixing had washed his hands and headed out, he thought it might be best to check back in the private room. He’d been gone so long that he didn’t think he’d be able to track any of his friends down on the dance floor, so checking to see if anyone had gone back to their room seemed like a good idea. He shuffled lazily through the hall that lead out of the restroom and towards the back where his friends had set up camp. When he was getting close to the back rooms, he hit a pack of people and had to wade between them to the best of his ability. He was sliding along the wall to avoid accidentally trodding on anyone’s feet when two, long arms suddenly appeared on either side of his face. Yixing felt his breath hitch at the sudden invasion of his personal space and looked up to find the face that belonged to the arms. He had half expected it to be Chanyeol or Jongin or Luhan, but to his shock and terror, he had never seen the man before in his life. He was tall, much taller than Yixing, and had a messy shock of dyed-brown hair. His face was handsome, but dull and entitled. He pressed his face to Yixing’s ear and the Chinese boy froze, cringing all over. The smell of alcohol washed over his face and seemed to turn his limbs to jelly.

“I saw you dancing out on the floor a while ago. You’re a pretty little thing, you know that? Now how would you like to come and play with me?” And just like that, he was pressing his harsh lips against Yixing’s throat, one hand coming off the wall to grab at his waist, groping under his shirt before sliding down to squeeze at the boy’s . The Chinese boy pressed his hands into the stranger’s chest, trying to push him off, but he was too strong. Yixing started to hyperventilate, desperately trying to scream for him to stop, scream for help, scream for anything, but sound wouldn’t come.

Please, please, please, please. Not again, please not again. Don’t touch me, don’t touch me.

Tears poured down his cheeks and he shook all over, the present shattering around him as awful memories resurfaced, memories he had prayed would be in the past forever.

“No, Uncle, please stop. Please.”

“Take of your clothes Yixing, or I’ll do it for you. Now, I wouldn’t have to do this if you hadn’t been a bad boy. You were bad weren’t you?”

“I’m sorry Uncle, I’m sorry, but n-no...please....no...”

The hands bruising his body suddenly disappeared, but Yixing hardly noticed through the fog of his terror. He sank to the ground, the world spinning, danger still present in his mind. The dull thud of a body hitting the floor and shouting vaguely registered, but he was too far gone. He slid to the floor and curled into a ball, clutching at his knees and crying, hyperventilating, shaking, unable to stop, calm down, even see. He heard voices, but couldn’t really understand them.

“Don’t touch me, please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll do anything, please don’t touch me again...” He repeated softly, in a whisper, as a prayer, his ghosts still clutching at his skin.

“Yixing are you okay? Yixing?” A tall figure swam above him, deep voice filled with concern.

“Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, please, please. I’m so, so sorry Uncle.” Yixing continued to mutter.

“Jongin! Jongin! Come over here, it’s Yixing!” Another figure appeared.

“Some guy had him pressed against the wall and he was crying. I pulled the guy off, but now he’s just sitting there shaking and...well....listen to him.”

“Zhang Yixing, are you alright?”

No. Not alright, someone save me, please.

“We need to do something, but I don’t....”

“Excuse me, I heard someone saying that someone was hurt over here? I’m a doctor, so I thought I might be able to help?”

“Oh, yes thank you, he’s just over here.”

“Wait...Yixing? Yixing is that you?”

“You know him?”

“Yes, he’s my neighbor, but that doesn’t matter right now. It looks like he’s having a panic attack. Yixing, can you hear me? It’s Junmyeon. I want you to put your head between your knees and do what I tell you to. You’re safe now. It’s alright. Breathe in, hold it, breathe out. Breathe in, hold. That’s right, hold, and breathe out.”

Yixing did his best to do what Junmyeon was telling him, holding onto his voice like a lifeline in a storm.  And slowly, slowly, the world came back to him. Concerned faces swam into focus above him. Junmyeon, Chanyeol, Jongin, Tao....Yixing swallowed and let himself uncurl, wiping beads of cold sweat off of his forehead.

“Yixing, are you alright?” Junmyeon asked him gently.

“Y-yes...I’m, oh. I’m just...so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Yixing gasped, raising a hand to cover his mouth, horrified.

They must think I’m insane. I’m such a burden...

“This wasn’t your fault, Yixing. Don’t you dare be sorry, now let’s go back to the room. You can lay down and get some water, alright? You’ll feel better if you rest...” Tao was obviously worried, holding out a hand to help Yixing up.

“Th-thank you...”

“Yixing, if you want to go home, I can take you,” Junmyeon suggested gently.

“No, I-I’ll be alright. I’ll be okay in just a minute. I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

“It would never be a bother, but if you say so, I’ll go. I came with some friends from school and should be around for a bit longer. Odd that we ended up in the same place, but I’m glad I was here for you. Call me if you need me, okay?” Junmyeon gave the younger boy’s shoulder a squeeze and, tossing an extra worried glance over his shoulder, disappeared. Tao led Yixing back to the private room, followed by Chanyeol and Jongin. Tao kindly pressed him into a seat and got him a glass of water. Chanyeol and Jongin both looked uncomfortable, shuffling from foot to foot by the door, as if they wanted to do something, but weren’t sure what.

“I’m going to go get everyone else, we were thinking about leaving soon anyway... I’ll be back soon, okay?” Jongin suddenly said, and the look in his eyes made Yixing’s heart melt as he paced quickly out the door.

“Is everyone else still dancing?” Yixing asked with a watery smile, desperately trying to return to normalcy.

“Yixing,” Tao suddenly started, ignoring his previous statement. Yixing cringed, it was obvious that he was going to be asked about what happened and.....

I want to tell them so badly, but what if they don’t understand? They’ll know I’m broken and then what?

“You don’t have to tell us, but I heard what you were saying. It was all in Mandarin, so I know I’m the only one...but...You said something about your uncle...and not wanting to be touched....What happened to you, Yixing? Can we help?” Tao had tears in his eyes.

Yixing's chest swelled with affection. He hated that they were worrying about him. Desperate to explain, he smiled at the boys. “You already have...Ever since I moved here everything has been so much better that...” Yixing took a deep breath. “My mother died in an accident when I was young. After that, my father and I moved in with my grandmother. We were pretty poor and my father became an alcoholic. My grandmother worked full time as a maid, so I was in charge of cooking and cleaning the house. They all had hard lives and it showed...my grandmother always told me that the only way she could ever respect me as a person was if I became rich. That was the only way I wouldn’t be a disappointment. My uncle, he....lived nearby. He and my father would go drinking together after work, when they had work. And sometimes....they would come home really late. And if there wasn’t food ready, or if I had forgotten to do something, or sometimes just because he felt like it....my uncle would punish me. He would...touch me...hurt me...” He stared at the floor, unwilling to meet anyone’s eyes. “He told me it was my fault that he had to do it. That I was bad and deserved it. Even my grandmother said I must have done something wrong or else he wouldn’t have hurt me that way. My father never cared one way or the other. And...” he gulped, “The worst part is, I know what my uncle did was wrong, that I didn’t do anything to deserve it, but part of me still thinks it was my fault...That’s why I don’t like being touched. It makes me feel dirty. Wrong. Bad...”

“Oh my God....Yixing, I’m...” Chanyeol stammered. Tao’s hands were over his mouth and tears were dripping down his cheeks in silence.

“I never really wanted to burden you with all of this...I’m sorry.”

“D-don’t...don’t be sorry.” Tao hiccupped. “You did the right thing. Now we can help you. I’m sure it did you some good.”

“I suppose so...But can I ask you both for a favor?” They nodded. “Please don’t tell Jongin what I just told you. Please. He can’t know about this yet and I need to tell him myself.”

“Of course, honey. Whatever you need.” Tao slung an arm around his shoulders and gave him a gentle hug.

“We...we’re here for you Yixing. You know that, right?” Chanyeol rumbled.

Here for me? It feels true....I hope it’s true....

The door clicked open again, and Jongin appeared, Luhan in tow. “Hey, we’re all ready to go. Jongdae asked to borrow EAGLE’s van, so a manager should be coming to pick us all up from here shortly. That sound good?” Jongin suddenly seemed to notice the fact that Tao was crying and looked confused.

“Tao, what’s wrong?” Luhan asked bluntly and, honestly, a little dismissively. Tao was a crybaby, a fact that everyone was aware of.

“N-nothing. I just got scared when that attacked Yixing and I started crying...”

“Well it’s all over now, so let’s go.” Yixing said, smiling softly and getting to his feet. “Can we wait outside? I could do with some air.” He asked Jongin as cheerfully as possible.

“Sure, anything you want, Zhang Yixing.” And as they walked out of the door, Jongin reached down and took the smaller man’s hand, pressing it gently in his own before releasing him and walking on ahead. Somehow that one small action made everything seem worth it, and Yixing felt a blush creep up his cheeks.

No, Jongin can’t know yet. I need this a little longer. Need him to think I’m mostly normal for just a little longer...

a/n: Geez, longest chapter so far...Now poor Yixing has some friends who understand him at least! I was planning on waiting until next Tuesday to post, but I got over excited so here it is. Thank you all for sticking with me so far, and please tell me what you think in the comments!