When I think back to it now, I feel like I've made the biggest mistake of my life. I loved him, he was my everything, I can't believe I just let him go like that.

It was my senior year in high school when I was accepted to my dream school, Harvard. The only problem was I had to move from Seoul to the states if I wanted attend Harvard. At that time I was dating my boyfriend, Hyukjae. I didn't want to move, I didn't want to leave anything behind. This decision was very hard for me. Hyukjae always told me to follow my dreams, he was always one of those very supportive boyfriends. Even with him telling me that I was still very conflicted. I used every excuse in the book just to find a reason not to go. After all the convincing Hyukjae did, I finally decided to go.

I hated to think that Hyukjae wouldn't be by my side anymore, he would be across the world, he wouldn't be 5 minutes away from me anymore. He would be 15 hours ahead, he would experience a day faster than me. It killed me, I don't want to leave him.

I don't know if the decision i made at that time was the best. I was going through so much stress packing, getting ready to move to a completely new place. I hurt the one I loved most. The days before my flight went by fast, too fast for my liking. Hyukjae had spent every single second of each day with me. He never left my said at all, I knew this would be the last time I would be able to spend a whole entire day with just Hyukjae, I took complete advantage of the time as much as I could. Every day he would take me to somewhere different every day, I loved these dates, it made me realize that hyukjae really loved me. I don’t know how to explain it, but it just felt like he put in so much effort just to take me on these dates.

It was day for my flight, my parents were too busy at work to take me to the airport ,so of course only Hyukjae took me instead. As we were leaving my house he made me check if I had everything, I lost count of how many times he had asked me to check. He’s so cute. As I reassured that I had everything he were off. Since we had time before my flight hyukjae dragged me to have last date with him before I leave. He took me to one of my favorite cafes in seoul. It was a little café that served the best dessert you could have ever taste. He told me to order everything I wanted, and I did. I was gonna miss this café.

After we finished eating we headed to the airport. I felt like we were driving slower than usual, I could tell he didn’t want me to leave yet. I held his hand and had my head on his shoulder while giving occasional pecks on the cheek throughout the whole drive. It was a sweet moment, but it was very short lived. We reached the airport faster than I had expected. He parked, we got my stuff and headed to my terminal. I checked in and I had another hour before I needed get on the plane. we sat in the waiting area just holding eachother, kissing each other, saying I love you’s to each other. I don’t want to go, I was having second thoughts, I don’t think I can handle not being near him for even a second. I guess he had noticed, he looked at me in the eye and told me, “ you have to go no matter what, I want you to do what you’ve been dreaming of your whole life,” and then kissed me. It was a very comforting kiss, I didn’t want him to stop. I held onto him tightly. He caressed my hair and softly whispered comforting words into my ear.

The moment was ruined when they announced it was time for my flight to start boarding. I wanted to cry at the moment. He looked at me with sadness in his eyes, it was at that moment I knew he was trying to be really strong for me. ‘He doesn’t derserve someone like me.. he should go find someone that isn’t across the world…' We stayed silent, not one of us spoke a word. Hyukjae, he broke the ice, " well, hae baby... You should start boarding or you'll miss your flight... " he said holding my hands tightly. He didn't want me to go, I didn't want to go. I looked at him and nodded. We walked to the front of the walkway. He stared at me," Hae," he caresses my cheek ," I'm always here for you ok? All you need to do is give me a call on skype or anything. And you don't need to feel as if you need to constantly worry about contacting me. Contact me whenever you can. I'll be waiting." He smiled ," I'll miss you, but I want you do well in school, you worked hard." I could tell he was trying to hold back tears. All I could do was stare at him. He leaned down to give my a kiss. A sweet kiss, one that I'll miss. I looked down and bit my lips, i made my decision.

"H-Hyukjae.... Let's break up..."

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I-umm... im sorry...