.

.

“Sungyeol ah, how can you do this to your Father?! After all these years we’ve worked so hard to build this foundation!
Now it’s all ruined! You’re such an embarrassment to our family! Why did I even had a son like you?!”

Sungyeol stood motionlessly, as he watches the fragments of papers fly in every direction all over the room.
After all these years, he finally had enough of them. The time has now arrived for him to follow his inclinations…

 Since the day he was born, Sungyeol led a life of oppression. His parents have been living through him; making all the choices in his life.
He couldn’t even consider having a dream, because that was a form disrespecting in his family. All his ‘close-friends’ stopped hanging out with him after a while,because they find him ‘boring’. But Sungyeol knows the truth – his mother got rid of them, she always sees Sungyeol’s friends as a bad influence. His family owns a company that is well-known as one of the top business companies in Korea, and there were many who looked up to them. Everywhere he goes, Sungyeol has always been someone that people admires; he had the brains, the looks and the money. With just a flick of a finger, he could get anything he wants. However all this doesn’t matter to him, he didn’t care. He only wishes to be able to live a normal life,without bodyguards tailing him everywhere he go. Every day he imagines himself living in a non-materialistic world...
And finally, it happened.
He had done it.

Sungyeol tore up all the paperwork he could find on his Father’s office desk,
the ones that sealed the contracts with other top companies to collaborate for the next huge upcoming project.
He did it right in front of his Mother, whom he silently resented since young. He hated her for acting so ‘over-protective’,
because in the end, Sungyeol gained nothing from it, other than the attention from people on the streets. He didn’t feel any love.
His mother was always there for his Father because of his fortune, and Sungyeol knows that since he could easily see through her actions.
But nothing could change his Father’s mind-set of his wife, he was too blinded by love to realise it.
After the incident at the office, Sungyeol was banished from the family…
He no longer has a status, he was free.

Sungyeol always thought that life would be easier if he wasn’t living under his parents’ rules,
but he was wrong. It was too much for him to handle...
But he’d never want to return to his parents.
It wasn’t because of his pride, but it was his hatred for them,
that has driven him to choose the final option…

.

.

.


November 20^th, 2013

This place would be good…

Standing at the highest level of an empty open-parking lot, Sungyeol’s shoulders’ sagged in defeat.
He couldn’t believe all his efforts to leave his own family had been futile. His fists clenched as he recollected the memories with them.
Nothing felt sincere and honest. Their world only revolves around money, there was no affection. 

Sungyeol walked over to the end of the parking lot, and look over the concrete. This drop is going to be fast and painless.
He smiled hopelessly as he pushed himself up. As he was bringing his legs over to the other side, he realised there was a guy on his right, who’d been sitting on the other end of the ledge. Why did this guy choose the same spot as me? Can’t I die in peace too?  Sungyeol let out a deep sigh.
Loud enough that the guy turned over to look at him.  Sungyeol was startled at what he saw.
There were multiple cuts around the guy’s face, and purplish spots around his left eye.
His lips had a slight bump, and it looks like there was still some dried blood on it.
What happened to him?

Hesitating for a moment, Sungyeol brought his feet back on the ledge and turned his body to face him.
They were going to die anyway, so why don’t they just have a little chat too.
As he looked over at the guy, he squirmed a little under the intensity of his gaze.



“H-Hey… you there. What happened to you?”

“… Do you even care?”

“Hah, would I be asking if I don’t?”  Sungyeol rolled his eyes.

“What about you? You seems well off. Why do you want to die…?”

…

Looking down at his shaky palms, Sungyeol nodded slowly.
“Yea... Because of my family. All the money, business and stuffs. They ruined my life, so I tried ruining theirs too.
But instead, everything backfired at me… I’ve got my freedom, that’s all, nothing else.
The world is too cruel to live in… What about you…?”

“Hm. Because of my dad. That bastard comes home drunk every day and beats me up. Fighting back doesn’t help at all.
Thanks to him I’ve got scars all over my body… Nobody stepped forward to help me, you know. I’ve had enough of his bull,
I’ve lost hope in my life, and I’d rather disappear, forever…”


…


“Hey, what’s your name...? I’m Lee Sung Yeol.”



“… My name is, L.”







On that fateful day, we met.

It was unforgettable and life-changing for the both of us.

Things wouldn’t have went the same way, if we hadn’t.

I’m glad we met.

And I’m glad that,

we’re still alive…



.

.

.

.

.

.





August 26^th, 2014

Why isn’t that idiot picking up my call? Did he forgot all of our plans?!

Sungyeol continuously hit the speed dial button, but the other line was not answering. He looked at the leather watch on his wrist, 7.30pm. They were supposed to be at the cinema at 8pm but Sungyeol himself still haven’t got prepared. He tousled his hair and collapsed onto the bed behind him. Exhaling a long sigh he thought, Where has he been all day… It would be such a waste if they missed the movie since they’ve already bought the tickets… Maybe I should watch it alone if he doesn’t turn up…right? At the thought, Sungyeol hurriedly jumped out of bed and changed into a simple grey shirt and jeans before rushing out of the flat. Well, hopefully he remembers…

It was a chilly evening. Couples on the streets huddled close to one another as they walked. Sungyeol, however, was alone.
He felt down casted by the sight of loving couples and took out his cell phone.
There was an unread message that was sent to him just a few minutes ago.
He opened his inbox.


                                                             “I’m busy. I’ll call you later.”


Sungyeol clasped the phone close to his heart, and slowly breathe out.
So he doesn’t remember then… Sungyeol didn’t want to disturb the busy man, and since all of a sudden he didn’t have the mood for movies,
he decided to wander around instead. In contrast to the people walking by the street, a bitter smile lingered on his face as he passed by the different outlets.
Every step he took, it felt smaller and heavier. Until he stopped, in front of a noraebang. He looked up and stared at the neon board.
This was place which once hold his dreams and friendships, until his ex-Mother found out.
Sungyeol had never once regretted leaving his family, his life now is better than before.
A faint smile touched the corner of his mouth.


“Hahahah, that’s my girl!”

A familiar voice echoed nearby.
It was close.
As Sungyeol lowers his head and caught sight of a guy patting a young lady’s head.
He gaped in disbelief.
No, it can’t be. So that’s why you’re busy?
Sungyeol’s jaws clenched as anger swirled within him. The blissful look on the girl’s face was too unbearable for him.
A river of emotions washed to the tip of his throat. He felt a strong urge to run away, to hide his face from him, but his legs weren’t moving.
Oh no he can’t see me here!
It was too late.

Sungyeol quickly shut his eyes as he saw L approaching his direction.


“Oh? Yeol ah. Why are you here? Ya… why are you-”


The tears that he was trying to hold back, silently fell down his left cheek. It wasn’t the first time he sees L with another girl, a pretty one too.
But today, Sungyeol felt deeply saddened by the fact that L had chosen to spend time with her instead of him.
That wasn’t a good ‘excuse’ to be ignoring his calls and messages. Sungyeol was dumbfounded by the way he was feeling at the moment.
He’d always knew that his heart would beat faster around L, but he tend to ignore it. And even though L had been trying to get close to him,
Sungyeol kept pushing him away. It wasn’t because he hated it, but Sungyeol was afraid that he would lose control of himself if he gives in to L.
There was no way he could ever show his true feelings for him…He wasn’t even sure if L was just teasing him, or hinting something…


“O-Oh L-ah! Hah hah, it’s nothing. Uh, something just caught into my eyes, you know. Heh, I see you’re really busy right now, I’ll meet you back at home then!”

With those words, Sungyeol quickly scurried off in the opposite direction. His heart felt lost and broken.
He didn’t want L to see this side of him. L was enjoying himself, so why bother ruining his mood too?

“Oi, Yeol-ah!”

He didn’t turn back to look at him, but continued moving forward…

 Sungyeol roamed the streets aimlessly, knocking into everyone that passed by. He couldn’t care any lesser.
His mind was filled with memories he once had with L, those instants where L’s attention were solely on Sungyeol.
Those few seconds, where it felt like time had stopped when L looks straight at him with that concentrated gaze. Those moments were his favourite.
Holding himself against a wall, Sungyeol blinked continuously as his eyes swelled.
The cellphone in his pocket had been vibrating ever since he walked away from that spot. Instinctively, he knew who it was.
However all Sungyeol needed now was some alone time for himself. He wasn’t going to face L, not until that depressing feelings are gone.
Checking the time for the final time, Sungyeol off his cellphone.


 11.25pm

The heavy feelings in his heart wasn’t going anywhere, and so was Sungyeol. He couldn’t go back home, because then, he had to face L again.
His mind wasn’t prepared to. After wandering for the past few hours, he arrived at a familiar place. Drawing a sharp breath,
Sungyeol slowly took the stairs up, to the highest level. As he pushed opened the door, a cool breeze blew against his face.
This might be a good place. It was empty and quiet, far away from the streets. The last time Sungyeol had been here, was the day he met L.
Yes, he was back to the parking lot. He’d never expect himself to come back here again, since this was the place he almost ended his life. Almost.
Looking up into the peaceful sky, Sungyeol placed his hand near his heart. His heartbeat has slowed down but the burning sensation was still there.
How did that one girl managed to pissed him off so bad? Sungyeol still couldn’t understand. Or was it what L was doing to her?
Patting her head and squeezing her cheeks. That smile on that girl’s face was fixed in Sungyeol’s mind.

Was I… jealous?


Sungyeol threw his hands down from his chest, as he faced the sky.

“Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!”

His heart started to feel lighter. He could feel the tension leaving his body together with his voice. Sungyeol smiled a little at himself.
This is working! Maybe I’ll do it a few more times then!

He continued screaming, not once worrying that people would call the police to complain about a crazy maniac randomly shouting in the middle of the night.
This place was abandoned, no one lives near here. Every time he did so, he paused to take a quick breath.
Soon, the image of the girl smiling disappeared from his head. Why did he even cared so much about that in the first place?
L only hangs out with girls for a day or two, and the rest, he spends it with Sungyeol. His mind was just over-reacting earlier.
He let out a snicker as he thought back about his actions.

Pacing towards the concrete ledge, Sungyeol looked down at the exact spot he remembered wanting to jump down to.
The image of the ground would had been his last memory of living in this world, if it wasn’t for L.
Sungyeol was grateful how L appeared in his life at the right time. It was like they were meant to meet on that very day...
Just as he was reminiscing that fateful day itself, Sungyeol heard footsteps running towards him.
As he turned…

Sungyeol felt someone threw his weight onto him, leaving him breathless.
The grip around him was tight.
Instantly, Sungyeol knew who it was…

“What are you doing here Sungyeol-ah?! Do you know how worried I was?!”
L’s voice cracked as he pulled him in tighter.

Sungyeol has always longed for an embrace like that, he always wanted to be near L, to be able to feel his warmth...
Words couldn’t express how Sungyeol was feeling right now. This was something he’d always dreamt of, but never knew would really happen.
Sungyeol placed his arms around L and whispered in his ears.

“L-ah… Sorry...”
There was so much he had to apologise for.
From being so childish, to being jealous over a girl and leaving him without a reason.
And also, for falling for him.
 
Sungyeol couldn’t control himself any more.
Tears started streaming down his cheeks, soaking L’s black jacket.
He could feel L’s hand patting his back as he wept. If only time could freeze at this moment…



“I thought… you were going to do something stupid again when I heard your screams…”


“H-Heh. I was just venting out my anger... Ah, crap...”



Sungyeol heard L snorted beside his ear.

“Why were you angry? Was it that girl earlier…?”


“… Ya. You promised me for a movie but yet you ignored my calls and hung out with another girl...Won’t you be angry if I were you?”


With a choking squeeze, L retreated from the hug, leaving his hands on Sungyeol’s shoulders.

“I would. But I know my Sungyeol too well, that I know he won’t do this to me.” A soft smiled appeared on L’s face.

“H-Hah, so you can do that while I can’t? You shall wait. Wait till I meet a pretty girl! Hmph.”
Sungyeol returned a disgusted face which made L laughed.


Enforcing his grips on Sungyeol’s shoulders, L continued.

“Babo-yah… that girl earlier was my cousin. She came over this morning from Gwangju and contacted me, asking me if I would like to meet up.
She needed help getting some medical stuffs for her parents, and since it has been years we’ve met, I agreed and acted as her tour guide to bring her around Seoul. There’s nothing between us except family relations. Understand? And sorry about not replying your calls… my battery went flat and I only managed to charge it when we entered the noraebang to lend a plug.”

Hearing L’s explanation, Sungyeol couldn’t help but cover his face with his hands.
Ah. So embarrassing! All these while I was misunderstanding everything.
At that moment he just wanted to bury his head in the ground.




“Sungyeol ah….” L’s soothing voice came nearer.

Hm?


Sungyeol peeked through his fingers and sees L slightly looking down at his phone.
The screen illuminated a part of L’s face, showing a mischievous grin he had hidden under the dark sky.


Slowly L reached towards Sungyeol, moving the hands away from his face.

“Sungyeol ah… do you know what time is it...?”


What kind of question is this.
“U-Uh… I turned my cell phone off so-“


“It’s 12midnight…



Happy Birthday, Lee Sungyeol.”


.

.

August 27^th, 2014, 00:00

L leaned forward and cupped the sides of Sungyeol’s face.
Then, their lips met and time stood still.
An explosion of total serenity and peace overwhelmed him. Sungyeol’s heart rapidly beats against his chest as he wrapped his arms around L’s waist, bringing him nearer. The kiss was so tender, so passionate and yet innocent; both could feel that they breathed their souls and their love into it… Sungyeol could feel L’s mouth forming a smile.  


Gently pulling himself inches away from Sungyeol’s face, L’s fingers traced Sungyeol’s warm lips.






“… I love you,




Lee Sung Yeol…”