i've never thought it would be like this. He closed his eyes,his bloody head,and next to him,is my crush,Ahri.

 

***

 

Doctor said I could walk out from this room and recover myself at home. But instead of heading home,my feet led me searching for Ahri's room. I asked the nurse in the front office and she said Ahri is in 901-A room. Baekhyun still can not open his eyes,i know that. I touched the bandage on my sides and winced,the pain is still agonizing. As I reached Ahri's room,I opened the door and saw Ahri playing with her teddy bear,I smile and then approach her.

 

"Oppa!" She said and then beckon me for a hug. I smile and hug her.

 

She's always like this,some kind of autism attacked her. She looks like an angel in my eyes,I don't care about her autism. She draws perfectly,she always play with her teddy bear. But,in my mind I want to replace those teddy bear with something else,something that she'll love and she'll remember,that 'something' is from me.

 

Doctor said that she may go home today,so I packed her things and brought her to my apartement.

 

***

 

"Oppa,it's not my house.." she said while looking around her new room,

 

"It's your new room,Ahri-ah" I said,she just wandered around her new room while hugging her teddy bear.

 

"Bobi-ya! we have a new room!" she told her teddy bear and once again I just hope that someday,something will replace that teddy bear.

 

***

 

I drove my car to Baekhyun's house. I have a spare key of his house. I know he wont be awake until 2 or 3 days. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. My mind wandered to our memory,I mean me,Ahri,and Baekhyun. I closed the door and headed towards Ahri's room to bring her things and also her medicine.

 

I saw Baekhyun and Ahri posing together in one frame,i want to bring it at first,but knowing those photos will never make Ahri forget Baekhyun,I decided to keep it there.

 

***

 

When I come back home,Ahri was still in her room,watching some cartoon while her hand was playing with that teddy bear. She laughed whenever she saw her favorite character and I smiled seeing her laugh. She's always this happy,she never seems sad. But when you take her teddy bear,you must give it back to her immidiately or she will go insane.

 

I sit next to her and tried focusing my view to her,she has a long black hair with no bangs and also a cute face. Nobody would notice that she actually has some kind of mental sickness but yes,she has it anyway.

 

"Oppa,where's Baekhyun oppa?" She said,I froze there,I didn't know that I should tell her.

 

"He's working right now,he'll be back after he finished all of his work!" I said,as cheerful as I could. And she nodded and continued watch the TV.

 

At first,I was thinking to tell her the truth but would she be maad at me? would she star here? and i quickly changes my mind and decided to keep her as a secret.

 

***

 

1 month later

 

She's fine,she's just like the first time I met her. Cheerful,cute,pretty and just fine. I took her to an art school and the teacher said she could stay because she didn't make the other student feel uncomfortable. She frequently asked where Baekhyun was,but I never told her where he was. I told Baekhyun that Ahri was missing after that accident and I never let him enter my apartement. He's so healthy now,he looks so handsome,as always. I just realized how much he loves Ahri,Baekhyun never wants to call the detective or police,I don't know why but it makes me feel safe to keep Ahri at my apartement.

 

Now,she always stays in her room,drawing any kind of thing she likes. And I just let her draw everywhere she wants because I know it will make her happy.

 

I sat on her bed while watching her drawing a flower. I took a photo of her with my phone and smiled like an idiot. You may tell me that I'm a crazy person,but nope,I'm normal. I love her with all my heart.

 

***

 

It was late at night,I still working on my document because it's not finished yet. I must workhard for myself and of course for her. I must pay for her art school,teraphy,and also lots of her medicine. But i don't mind.

 

I already closed my laptop to get ready to go to sleep when Ahri opened my door and threw something furiously. I approached her to see what she's thrown,and ,that's my phone. She slapped me hard,she didn't bring her teddy bear. I didn't know what made her furious.

 

"Oppa lied! Baekhyun oppa just sent massage!" I wanted to slap her for saying that kind of thing,I didn't even write 'Baekhyun' on his contact name,and he never wrote his name on the message.

 

"I remember Baekhyun's oppa number!" She said and the left me there.

 

***

 

She didn't come out from her room,she locked it. Baekhyun came to my apartement frequently. I never opened my door for him. I'm too scared,too scared to lose Ahri,afraid both of them would hate me. I tried to open Ahri's door,but she never let me in. And that time,I was scared by a loud voice outside my apartement,giving me promise to talk in a good way. But I'd never open that door.

 

***

 

"Chanyeol-ssi,somebody wants to meet you." My fellow friend said,I rise from my seat and see Baekhyun standing there,smiling faintly to me. I try to walk as straight as I can.

 

I signal him to follow me to rooftop. He just folllows me,I don't want to see him but there's no way I could send him back to his house.

 

I lean to the rooftop door and closed my eyes,I'm not ready to hear what he wants to say.

 

"I know you have a crush on her..." He says and my body suddenly tensed.

 

"How do you know?" I said to him,I try not to punch him right on this time.

 

"Becuase you're my brother,I know you too well." He says,and right now,I'm out of control,I punch him,hard,on his face.

 

He holds his side of lips and then smiles.

 

"I know you will do this." He says and the leaves me alone.

 

***

 

Ahri was still in her room,I bet she threw everything in her room,but I was too tired to think all of that matter. I walked straight to my bedroom and laid on my bed. I touched my sides and smiled faintly,remember that I shouldn't have done that,I should have just let him go.

 

***

 

It was early in the morning when I woke up to see Ahri sat in the couch,hugging her teddy bear while rocking her body back and forth. I approached her as soon as I saw her panicked face. She hugged my body,completely forgotten her teddy bear,at first I was surprised at her action,but I decide to stay still and patted her back.

 

"Oppa please just let me see Baekhyun oppa.." She saids,my body tensed, I rose from my seat and slapped her. She cried and then hugged my feet,begging me to allow her.

 

"Get out." I said coldly to her,and I was really furious right then.

How could she said that when she knew that I was the one who had taken care of her since that accident,how could she?

 

***

 

I don't want to go to my office right now. I don't want to go everywhere in such this badmood. I wanted to check on her right now,but I'm afraid that she'll beg me to meet Baekhyun. But in the end,I end up knocking her room,hoping she'll let me in.

 

After a couple of minutes standing here without no answer from inside,I decided to open the door and go check on her.

 

She isn't there.

 

***

 

I went downstairs immidiately after i knew that she was missing. I asked the front office,but they said that they didn't see Ahri. So,I decided to check upstairs. It was raining outside and she was missing with her teddy bear. I opened the door to the rooftop. And I saw Ahri was there,with Baekhyun.

 

I ran across the law on the rooftop,I landed my fist on Baekhyun face and he fell down. Ahri covered with both of her hands and I just kept punching Baekhyun.

 

"STOP!" Ahri covered her ears with her palms and cried there. Her tears blended with raindrops.

 

I stopped and took Ahri's hand and tried to pull her so she could come back to my apartement. But she refused and chose to help Baekhyun. And I knew since then that I had lost.

 

***

 

That night,I went to the nearest bar and decided to drink a lot to forget this day. I smiled faintly,thinking about all of the things that I'd done,for Baekhyun.

 

***

[Flashback]

 

Today is Ahri's birthday,I bought her a necklace. I know she'd like it. But when I arrived there,I felt jealousy all over my body. I tried to look as nornal as possible. I saw Baekhyun pointing at his own cheek to let Ahri kiss his cheek,and Ahri did it. I tried not to punch or break something here.

 

So,I decided to go out and drove my car as fast as I could.

 

I decided to go to Han River and gave myself a break and breathed some fresh air.

 

But after that,I wanted to drive as fast as I could to let out my anger and jealousy. But,the lady of luck was not on my side. I hit a car,hard.

 

Last thing I saw,I crashed another car.

 

***

 

I woke up with agonizing pain on my hand and also my forehead. I opened the door and walked to the car I crashed.

 

I'd never thought it would be like this,I saw Baekhyun,with his closed eyes,his bloody head,and next to him,was my crush,Ahri.

 

I called ambulance and waited there while freaking out. I shouldn't drive this car with high speed,I should stayed in Ahri's party instead of going out and drive like a crazy person,this shouldn't happened.

 

I can't lose both of them,I love both of them. Even though I hate Baekhyun being Ahri's fiancee but I love him I love both of them,please god,don't take them from me.

 

***

 

"He can't survive with only one kidney,he's to sick,don't you know that,Mr.Park?" the doctor said that to me. Without thinking much I pointed at my sides.

 

"Take mine! Take mine!" I screamed,I was frustated. I should be happy that Baekhyun would die if those machine was taken from his body,but I was not. I can't live without my one and only brother.

 

"It will affect your body system,Mr. Park." The doctor said.

 

"I'm okay,I'm a healthy man,I still can live with one kidney." I said.

 

[end of flashback]

 

***

 

And here I am now,on an unknown bar,thinking about what I've done. I just smile faintly. I feel my phone vibrate,I take it out and see Baekhyun's number calling me. I laugh,but I don't know why I laugh. I go out from the bar,feeling a bit dizzy after 4 or 5 shots,but I'm not drunk yet. Baekhyun keep calling,and I'm feel annoyed so I pick it up and hear Baekhyun's panicked voice.

 

"Hyung! I know you saving my life,please do tell me where the hell are you now?" I freeze at Baekhyun's statement.

 

And then I see Ahri,pointing at me and screaming something. I missed her,I really do.

 

I run toward her on the other sides of street,but a second later,I see Baekhyun running toward her and his eyes look at me,I want to hug her so badly,but I can't,I just can't. I remain silent there.

 

I see Ahri screaming and I look to my sides.

 

BAM!

 

I feel all of my body aching like crazy. People surrounding me,so,do Ahri and Baekhyun who is pushing everyone there. I smiled at them.

 

"Hi.." I say,but I know it wont be heard by them.

 

"You crazy?!" Baekhyun says to me,but I just smiled.

 

"Please stay awake!" Baekhyun says to me.

 

But my eyelids grow heavier,I just smile. 

 

Because I know,I should let go.

 

***