We're just about to perform and we're not even 12 yet.

Baekhyun is rehearsing his part near me, giving me nervous smiles once in a while.

I smile back, though I feel my stomach churning and I feel like coughing. I refrain from doing so and my eyes get watery.

I see the last of our members join us on the Show Champion stage and the lights are so intense at one point that I'm sure I'm going to go blind.

Jongdae is just a few meters before me and he gives a thumbs up, puffing his cheeks and exhaling quickly afterwards. How am I supposed to calm down when you're clearly so distressed, you guys?...

Jongin is lounging on the floor just in front of me and it may be easily missed by the untrained eye how he's frowning and how his lips are mumbling dancing steps that he wants to display perfectly.

I call him in a hissed whisper and he snaps his head up, smiling broadly and fluttering his hand from side to side, waving. I pump my fists in the air and he does the same, nodding. I catch the heart he forms with his hands as well and I feel blood rising to my cheeks.

Way to ruin me before the live broadcast.

It starts off quite nicely.

While I'm singing, I remember all of our rehearsals and what each member told me was afraid about. I might come off as quite the cold and insensitive one, but I'm really not. Stress is always right there with me so I can't exactly be on my best behaviour all the time.

But I digress.

I can't hear anything besides the occasional screams of the fans and our bold, but not always with the best pitch, voices, as we flash past each other, carrying out our performance.

Guys, mind your pronunciation.

I hear Luhan singing out his part and I know it's my turn. I come to the front with practiced steps, but Jongin is not to my right where he should be after dancing near Luhan.

I barely get to finish my part when I feel hot breath on my cheek and arms around my waist. Jongin is singing breaths of Jongdae's part in my ear and he finds it appropriate to caress my arms while he's whispering the words "all night" twice, just like in the lyrics, adding a hushed 'Kyungsoo-hyung' that makes me blush hard.

I don't trust my feet anymore, but nevertheless I try to concentrate on the remainder of the choreography. My hand can't seem to get a grip on itself as it tangles its fingers in my left suspender. I get the steps right, though my voice is shaking right until the end, with the exception of the chorus.

Right when the last chorus starts, Jongin finds me again and I wonder if he's lost his mind completely, disregarding the choreography like that. He's whispering in my right ear this time: 'Just like the Christmas daaay~' he says and his lips brush against my cheek, not quite kissing it.

I hiss out an "are you crazy" before I hear my cue and I start singing. And this was the part I was most afraid of, too!

He twirls around, effortlessly, before he grabs my hands and drags me to the centre of the stage.

With his sweaty hands covering mine, he smiles brightly at me, lovingly, I dare say, and he drops to the ground, dragging me down together with him.

I hear fans screaming their lungs out and I look left and right, astounded, knowing I should have been mad at Jongin and be lecturing him, hell, kicking his just about now for all this.

To my right I see Baekhyun panting and stifling bubbling laughter while ushering me to come closer to Jongin. I frown and do my best to look past Jongin, where I see Sehun, eyes crinkled into slits and mouth agape with laughter, hands on Jongin's back to push him forward.

The lights go out.

It feels like my heart goes out as well when Jongin kisses me full on the lips, chests pressed together and right hand grasping the fabric of my checkered shirt, in what I deem a silent plea to accept him.

We'll never hear the end of it from the higher-ups for this stunt.

I know I am going to go backstage and get separated from Jongin by coordinators who want to clean us up as soon as possible. Giving in to the fact that I had perhaps lost my mind completely as well, I huriedly pull back from the kiss and my fingers collide painfully with Jongin's fingers when I realize he must have had the same thought and must have wanted to grab my hand.

I see the outline of his body and I hear his whispering, breathlessly happy voice when he says:

"Hyung...!"

We try to hide our joined hands as we reach backstage, passing by wires and stage lights. A coordinator makes her way towards us at once, but as soon as she barely reaches her hand towards us, Yi Fan's elegant silhouette screens us from her intentions, pouting and addressing her in a whiny manner:

"Noona, the mic scratched my cheek."

Jongin snorts and hisses out an amused "xie xie" before we make our far from the two.

I see Yi Fan slightly smiling.

We pass Luhan and Jongdae on the hall and they direct us to an empty room, used for depositing costumes, giggling with mirth.

Jongin seems just as confused as me by their reactions.

As soon as we enter the room and Jongin closes the door, I slap his arm hard. I don't hear any kind of sound of protest.

He's just smiling quietly and absent-mindedly rubbing his arm.

"What was that all about?" I start.

Jongin pouts, frowning.

"You know what that was all about, hyung."

My cheeks are unmistakably red as I can, indeed, identify some possible reasons.

"W-Why?" I continue, more calmly.

Jongin shrugs and approaches me, backing me up against the wall. He's no longer smiling, lips forming that signature smirk that I am affected by as well.

Damn him.

"I don't know. I just know you're incredible."

My hands are clutching the suspenders when he supports his weight on his fist and leans forward to kiss me again.

And again, I respond.

"You kissed back again..." comes his quiet voice, laced with joy. I avoid looking into his eyes.

"I can kiss you too, if I want to. I can do that. I wonder if you'll be able to respond."

His smirk only widens and he chuckles when he hears me cursing at him.

"Bring it."

Grabbing his tie, I tiptoe to kiss him, blushing when I notice the quick move of his head, seeming like he wants nothing else but to kiss me again faster. We open our mouths at the same time and I shove my tongue inside first, making him squeak shortly before everything inside it. Feeling the vibrations of his moans against my tongue is almost enough to knock me down. He moves his head and deepens the kiss, exploring my own mouth.

I pull back and choke out a "Jongin-ah" when he wedges his knee between my legs.

"Hyung...hyung, you're so great..." he whispers and I shake my head from side to side, overwhelmed because I really wasn't that big a deal, as I caress the hair at the nape of his neck, his forehead resting on my shoulder.

"Kai-sshi, D.O-sshi! We need to get back to the van!"

A coordinator's approaching voice startles us both.

"Hyung." Jongin's voice is muffled by my shoulder.

"What?"

"Do you like me back?"

My throat ties up in a knot when he moves to look at me, top buttons of his shirt ed, tie crooked, suspenders off his shoulders and bottom lip crushed by his teeth.

"Idiot." is all I manage to whisper before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and squeezing his hand, letting go when the door opens for the coordinator to enter.

In the van, on our way back to the dorms, Jongin falls asleep on my shoulder, tired features softening and breaths coming out peacefully through his mouth.

"I like you so much..." I find myself whispering while watching him, obviously severely affected by today's events, and immediately turn red as I realize I said it out.

"Pff." Sehun snorts near me and I elbow him in the ribs.