Changmin POV

                Sunlight stretched across the treeless earth, covering as much distance as the shadows allowed. With each ray that cascaded down from the heavens above came an unflattering heat. Such heat made little beads of sweat glisten at the hairline of the man beside me as we trudged across a barren field. However, this man was so engrossed in his own thoughts to even bother to wipe it away which was unfathomable to me. No matter how hard I tried to shake it off, the air surrounding me pricked at my every nerve like a thousand needles digging deep into my skin all at once. If we were outside for much longer, I was going to go mad.

                “I simply can’t seem to figure it out,” the man beside me finally grunted, causing my heart to leap in shock. “Like Miss Jessica had mentioned, I sensed something back there. I sensed it and knew that we were close. But like sand slipping between my fingers, there was nothing. Not a trace of anything. It was as if it never even existed in the first place. And I understand that we settled on the fact that it could have been my mind playing tricks, but it’s still bothering me. Somewhere deep in my heart, I know that there was something there,” he went on. Doing my best to focus on my friend despite the trails of sweat creeping down the side of my cheek, I realized that his face was twisted as if he was deeply confused. Although I had already shrugged off the problem, it was definitely a matter that he wasn’t taking lightly.

                “Yunho Hyung,” I murmured, forcing myself to come to a stop. “Even if it wasn’t a slip of the mind, then I think that we should be grateful that you felt anything at all. We haven’t been as lucky these past few days. So now that we do have at least something, we’re one step closer. Not to mention, I believe that Jessica should be grateful. If there wasn’t a trace of anything, I probably would have stormed all the way back and taken the woman by the shoulders. I would have shaken her until she pleaded for forgiveness for sending us out in this weather,” I grumbled once he turned around. In return, the clouded look on the man’s face eased into a small smile.

                “At least dusk is approaching. We’re bound to be spared from this suffocating heat.”

                “But how long would this freedom last?” I questioned, solemnly shaking my head. “Until tomorrow, that’s when! And this insane woman will send us out once more like she’s done every day now for the past few weeks. To think, she might be relentless now that we’ve caught onto something. She might even make us stay out longer tomorrow. I must say, though, I think I might decline for the sake of my sanity if tomorrow is as bad as today.”

                “You wouldn’t.”

                “Oh, but I would. No matter how much I would rather to finish with this search, I would drop it all in order to submerge myself in icy cold water. The circles we’ve been running and the heat are making me go mad.”

                “I would join you in that if it wasn’t something that would directly affect Miss Jessica. I wouldn’t willingly dive head first into that woman’s wrath, and I highly doubt you would choose to do the same.”

                Upon hearing the man’s words, my heart stopped. He was right, I wouldn’t risk it. In fact, I have always tried my best to turn right around and put as much distance between such possibilities as possible. When angered, the woman was outright terrifying. Her eyes became like that of liquid gold that had the potential of burning others if she deemed it to be so. Along with such dangerous eyes were the woman’s features. Naturally, she was the epitome of beauty with a proportioned facial structure, sweetly sloping nose, and a perfectly chiseled jaw. But the moment an ounce of fury enters, such features scrunch up to resemble that of a horrifying monster. My entire life was centered on tip-toeing around that fury of hers in order to keep it from focusing on me.

                “See?” Yunho chuckled. “You would definitely go if she ordered it. Now, before the two of us become irrational with this sultriness. I bet Miss Jessica is already pacing before the door, ready to storm out and find us any second now.”

                Knowing exactly what her search could foretell, I set my jaw and pounced into action. As clear as day, I could picture the smirk that Yunho was fighting to keep from appearing as he followed behind. The two of us had fallen into a determined silenced as we rushed back. All the same, my friend’s heavy hand slammed down on my shoulder the instant we reached the edge of our property. Tensing up ever so slightly, I turned to face the man. In return, he quietly nodded his head in the direction of our mansion I was mindlessly racing toward. Confused, I glanced that way.

                Across the way, a woman was standing on the doorstep. This woman was clothed in the plain brown uniform of the maids that served in the households which were located in the middle of town. Despite her small frame and messy reddish brown hair, she had such a compelling and familiar aura that it sent my heart into hysterics.

                Growing curious as to who could affect my heart in such a way, I carefully closed the distance. Once I was close enough, I opened my mouth to utter a greeting. However, I was instantly silenced when she lifted her arm in order to knock. I composedly shut my mouth and watched as the door was yanked open. In turn, the motion made the woman stumble forward. At first, my shocked maid—who had answered the door—stared at the woman as she made a slight fool of herself.

                Due to the sight of it all, I felt laughter bubble up inside. Even as I tried my best to suppress the feeling, a snort managed its way out. Such a sound forced the young maid to pry her eyes away from our visitor and settle on me. Before she could outright ignore our guest, I motioned to the strange woman. Although I could only see her back, there was something about this woman that made me feel like I knew her from somewhere. There was something so familiar about the way she stood, about the air surrounding her, but I couldn’t place it. Where did I know her from? How did I know her?

                The moment the woman began to speak, my friend—who had unexpectedly appeared beside me—nudged me in the side. It wasn’t until I felt the sharp ache as his boney elbow rammed into my ribs that I realized there wasn’t an ounce of breath in my lungs. I had unconsciously grown so still in order to aid my ears in placing the sound of the woman’s voice. Everything was all so familiar, but it was also mixed with another element that I didn’t recognize.

                “Call on whom, might I ask?” I asked when I received yet another jab with more force behind it. All the while, I was secretly cursing my friend’s name.

                As she responded to my question, I couldn’t tell whether it was the sound of her voice a second time or the way she moved that made the realization crash down upon my shoulders. Suddenly standing face to face with this woman, my ability to think rationally had disappeared into thin air. The one standing in my presence was none other than her—the woman I never expected to see. Of all that I remembered, she was the last woman I believed would set foot on this earth. Nevertheless, she was also the only one that could make my numb heart twist into a thousand torturous knots for the first time in a while.

                “Hello Victoria,” I choked out. Almost immediately, her eyes that were once full pools of the richest turquoise swam with an emotion I couldn’t read. “It’s been a while,” I added, trying my best to keep my eyes from showing the turmoil that was happening on the inside.

                For what seemed like forever, we stood with our gazes locked on each other. At that moment, nothing mattered to me but her. Not even the sound of my friend clearing his throat mattered. Yet, when I thought she would say something, the woman rapidly blinked and turned back to the unsuspecting maid. Abruptly, the feeling of mutual recognition disappeared and her stance grew stiff, as if she was ready to defend herself from an oncoming attack.

                “I’m here to call on Miss Jessica. There is something of high importance I must discuss with her.” Hesitantly, the maid nodded and beckoned her inside.

                Even after the two had disappeared from sight, I continued to stare. Meanwhile, I attempted to digest what had happened. It was as if my appearance brought something different out of her—a strange cold that I never knew she could produce. If I wasn’t expecting it, said cold seemed to have the capacity to freeze my heart.

                “Changmin-ah?” my friend inquired, his voice taking on a tone of caution.

                Snapping out of the daze I had fallen into, I noiselessly stepped into the open doorway. The entire way to the library—where I spent most of my time—I had to force myself to put one foot in front of the other. At my destination, I slumped into my usual high backed chair and watched as my friend silently made his way inside. It was all I could do not to turn around and barge into the receiving room where Jessica was most likely forcing Victoria to wait.

                “Yunho Hyung,” I muttered when he had turned to a bookshelf, awkwardly attempting to be occupied. Without delay, the man spun around. “What did the woman look like?”

                “Excuse me?”

                “What did she look like?”

                “Are you blind?” he blurted, his eyes filled with disbelief. “If you need me to tell you, then what do you use those two eyeballs for? Decoration?”

                “Just tell me.” He sighed upon hearing the exasperation in my voice.

                “Well…she was very beautiful…”

                “Yes, I already knew that. I need to know about her features. What did her features look like to you?” I received yet another look that screamed that I was mad.

                “Ah, let’s see…” He tapped his chin in exaggeration.

                “Please take this seriously, Hyung.”

                “Fine. She was average in height, large brown eyes with a weird streak of blue, pale complexion, slender frame, dark red hair…”

                “Did she recognize me?”

                “Look Changmin, I can handle most of your weird moods, but what—”

                “Did she recognize me?” I repeated, trying to remain calm.

                “Her eyes did get a little big when she saw you. It wasn’t a big movement, but it was enough.”

                “So it was her,” I sighed and slid further down in my chair.

                “You acted as if you knew exactly who she was when you actually weren’t sure?”

                “I was shocked, okay?” I finally snapped. “I’m shocked to the point where I can’t believe my eyes. She’s someone from my past. And as you know, when it comes to the past, I can’t believe everything I see. Especially when it comes to her…” I trailed off, feeling as if I had been crushed by a boulder. She was definitely a woman of the past, but there wasn’t a day I wouldn’t go without thinking about her.

                From the way the confusion slowly disappeared from his face, my friend was beginning to understand where I was coming from. From the moment I opened my eyes after falling, this man had been by my side. If anyone knew the pain I faced over the matter of my past, it was him. He knew exactly when it was time to back off, and he knew when to accept my actions no matter how odd. He understood that he needed to tread with care whenever something was linked to my past.

                Knowing that he understood, I closed my eyes and focused on calming down. I always believed that Victoria would stay up in heaven. I believed that she would forever be happy, and that she would spend an eternity laughing. Just the thought of her lips stretched into a never ending bright smile helped me through the darkest of times. Yet when she stood before me, there was no hint of a smile on her face—no bright twinkle. Instead, there was something else, something darker.

                Passing a weary hand over my face, I tried to picture how her life was now that I knew she wasn’t where I had conceived. Had she encountered many hardships? From her outfit, she was obviously not dwelling in any kind of wealth. Did that mean that she was leading a harsh life? How long had she been a maid? Was she treated fairly?

                Suddenly curious, I pried my eyes open. Upon scanning the room, I found out that Yunho had moved and busied himself in a random book. As I stared at him, a small mischievous smirk tugged at the corners of my mouth.

                “Hyung,” I called out, making him lift his eyes away from the pages. Taking notice of my smirk, he lifted his eyebrows.

                “What is it now?”

                “I need you to track her down.”

                “What?” he coughed. “No, Changmin, I can’t.”

                “But Hyung,” I whined, doing my best to pout like the one Jessica regularly wore.

                “Don’t do that, it doesn’t suit you.”

                “It doesn’t,” I snorted. Having broken down his resolve a slight bit, the man smiled. “If I had the ability to cloak myself in invisibility, I would do it myself. But I don’t and you do. So, I need you to figure out her living situation and what she does during the day.”

                “Why do you even want to know?”

                “I believe she was the one of the reasons behind why I became what I am today.” Just as he done not that long before, he gained another look of understanding. With that, I knew that I had won him over.

                “Alright, I will go,” he finally acquiesced to my plea. Unsure as if I should openly celebrate or not, I merely nodded in thanks and watched as he backed out of the room. Once I was alone, I leaned my head back on the chair and stared at the vast ceiling.

                Back when I was in heaven, Victoria and I had been extremely close. I first saw her when I was newly appointed to a higher position. I was taken to the new group of angels I was told to instruct which had gathered around a handful of dancers. She was a part of those joyously moving, her laughter ringing out for all to hear. Everyone knew her through the sound of her laughter which was as refreshing and addictive as bells tinkling gently in the crystalline blue sky. I always thought it was the way she was happily rejoicing that compelled me to step forward and introduce myself. Meaning, it was her laughter that helped create the friendship I held dear to my heart.

               There was a point in our friendship when I felt like I was doing what I only saw humans perform. I was falling in love. Her heart was so beautiful—so pure—and I couldn’t help but feel a weird, foreign, flutter in my chest whenever she was near. Along with this newfound emotion, however, came the worry. It was heavily encouraged that every angel should love each other for angels weren’t solely created to be messengers of actions or miracles but to also be messengers of love. However, it was never mentioned what love was acceptable for us to hold within our hearts. No one dared to declare if it was decent to love another in the way that humans loved each other. So, the time I used to spend enjoying the company of those around me morphed into lonesome debates over the love I held for Victoria.

                From that moment on, I couldn’t remember anything else. After I openly complained about not remembering much, it was made known to me that those who fall are unable to remember the reason why. Supposedly, it was the way God showed His mercy to His unfortunate angels. But I found myself thinking that I could care less about this kind of so called “mercy”. In fact, I thought this whole ordeal was a nuisance.

                Despite the memory loss, it seemed like there was a large, festering chasm in my chest the moment I woke up from the fall. At first, when I thought of the few memories I had of Victoria, my gut would twist uncomfortably. Meanwhile, the unbearable pain produced from the void would rake throughout my entire body.

                Each time my mind wandered to her, I felt like there was a legion of invisible hands continuously clawing at my heart. Such a feeling made me want to gauge out the memories of her from my mind. I perceived that I would go insane if I didn’t. Fortunately, I was able to keep myself occupied for a short time. I put myself to work, and focused on establishing myself in the human world. Such freedom eased my heart to a certain extent until one month had passed. When a smell randomly sent my mind reeling back into the memories, the calmness I felt disappeared.

                It must have been around that time when I realized what the pain meant. I had fallen due to something related to Victoria. There was something that had gone horribly wrong between us which in turn caused me to fall. But I couldn’t recall what it was. And now that she, too, fell from heaven, I was sure I was responsible.

                “So it seems as if someone finally decided to confront you,” a woman’s soft voice sounded near the doorway. Grimacing at the fact that Yunho had left it open, I slid further down in my seat.

                “Excuse me?” a colder voice coughed.

                “That maid. She actually talked down to you, our household’s dearest queen.” The first woman adopted a condescending tone as if she was obviously trying to pick at the other’s anger. It was widely known among men that when a problem between women arose, they should do their best not to interfere. But with the women of this household, if their fight lasted on for too long, one would burn the place down.

                “I don’t have time for this,” the second one—Jessica—grumbled. “I need to speak with Changmin. So, if you could—”

                “That’s exactly what you would say. You don’t have time for people who confront you just like that poor woman.” As I listened, my breath caught. What did Victoria meet with Jessica about?

                “That isn’t the case.”

                “Oh, now isn’t it? Because it was clear she was overstepping boundaries and poked your soft spot. Your usual venomous words and the way you slapped her can attest for that. I mean we all know—”

                “Be quiet!” Jessica snapped. “Who are you to think you can speak in such a manner?” The woman’s instantaneous fury was the cue to step in before things got too messy.

                “See? You lash out whenever someone gets too close to breaking down one of your walls. You declare there are certain positions that someone should uphold and that you’re higher than they are. But, Jessica darling, your status isn’t high enough for you to look down on others. Look at where you came from—” the woman was hushed by a slap across the face right as I arrived at the doorway. Due to the impact, the woman dropped the silver tray full of food.

                “Jessica,” I hissed. Finally noticing me, the woman dropped her hand back to her side. A second passed before she turned and darted back toward the stairs. When she began to descend them, the woman beside me reached out and grabbed my hand. But I yanked it away. “Why did you do that?”

                “She frustrates me. You should have seen the ruckus she caused over that maid. The receiving room is full of broken items—my broken items,” she huffed in return. Such news worried me. Aside from the slapping, what else did Jessica do?

                “What made her do that?”

                “The maid was asking personal questions. And you know how your mistress takes to getting personal,” the woman sniffed. Growing aware of Jessica’s feelings, I laid a hand on the woman’s shoulder for a mere second before I dashed in the direction the other had fled.

                Whenever anyone got too close to the wounds that Jessica faced in the past, she would become exceedingly defensive. Usually, she would use her fists and hit something, break something, or spit out bitter words. From there, she would never fail to escape to hide off on her own until the chaos within her heart calmed.

                By the time I reached her usual spot by the river, she was curled up and idly staring out at the glittering still water. Ever so quietly, I moved to sit beside her. But even as I sat there for a couple of minutes, she refused to make it obvious that she noticed my presence. When purplish light was creeping across the sky, I knocked my shoulder against hers.

                “Please forgive Sooyoung. She just likes to mess around,” I whispered.

                “Why should I? I should send her away, back to the slums from which she came.”

                “Oh, but you can’t.”

                “And why can’t I?”

                “Because you were the one that brought her here in the first place. You forced me to accept her because you said that we needed her for something.”

                “Yes, but I hate her.”

                “You hate what she says, not her.”

                “Oh, no, I hate her. I always have.” Pressing my lips together in order to keep a blank face, I stood up. Sometimes, I couldn’t understand what the women around me were thinking. Jessica hated Sooyoung even when she pleaded up and down for me to allow her to join our household? Shaking my head, I stepped away and began to lift up the edges of my tunic. “What are you doing?”

                “I’m going to swim. You made me work all day in this damn heat. It’s about time I did what I wanted and jumped in the river,” I huffed and lifted my shirt all the way off. When I moved to take off my trousers, the woman sputtered.

                “Oh, please Changmin, keep those on,” she pleaded. Realizing that I was in the presence of someone of the opposite gender, I scowled her way. “Just keep them on,” she added, softer this time.

                “Fine,” I grunted and headed down to the riverbank. Not waiting another second, I plunged into the deep, stark cold waters. My breath caught from the shock as my head broke through the surface for air.

                “How is it?” Jessica called out.

                “Great. The water is just great!” I answered and turned to float on my back. I rested like that for a while, feeling the water rise up and down. Feeling at peace, I closed my eyes and concentrated on inhaling and exhaling deeply. But the moment didn’t last long. No, I was suddenly caught off guard as the water violently splashed over my eyes. Spitting, I moved to tread the water as I noticed Jessica emerge from the depths. My lips twisted to form a scowl before I splashed her with just as much force. Coughing in shock, the woman turned to glare at me.

                “What was that for?”

                “For breaking my trance,” I sniffed and turned away. As I stayed that way, I could feel the water shift as she closed the distance. Before I knew it, her arms slinked around my neck.

                “I’m sorry,” she whispered in my ear. Tensing up, I waited for her to let go, but she didn’t. Prying her arms away, I quietly turned to face her once more. “You’re so handsome when you’re peaceful, I couldn’t resist.” With that, she tried to place her hand on my cheek. But I swam away. “It’s Sooyoung, isn’t it?”

                “What?”

                “This,” she sighed while gesturing between us. “This distance is because of her.”

                “No, that’s not it.”

                “Can’t you just forget her?” she whispered, ignoring my words. Slowly, she swam towards me. “Can’t you forget her and come to me?”

                “Jessica…” I warned. Her eyes were clouded with some unreadable expression.

Seeing that my words weren’t going to make any difference, I quickly swam for the shore before she could succeed in anything. By the time I shook my crumpled up tunic, I caught a slight glimpse of someone waving from the depths of the trees. Prior to actually moving away, I took a moment to see what Jessica was doing. Relieved to see that she was mindlessly swimming around, I quickly escaped. Once closer, I huffed out at the sight of Yunho’s face.

                “You sure know how to come at the best times,” I sighed while tugging my tunic over my soaked body.

                “Why do you say that?”

                “I was about to get myself in a sticky situation. That woman never seems to catch on…”

                “Again?”

                “Yes, again. She’s persistent, I tell you,” I murmured. “But what did you come here for?”

                “Ah, it’s Victoria,” he breathed, his expression darkening. Hearing the way he spoke, my blood ran cold.

                “W-what about her?” My voice was barely above a whisper.

                “She’s encountering something weird. It’s as if she’s in some kind of excruciating pain. I don’t even know how to explain it.”

                “Where? Where is she?”

                Swallowing his words, the man turned and ran. Knowing exactly what I needed to do, I took off after him. We raced all the way through the town until we reached the outskirts completely opposite from where our manor resided. At the edge, Yunho slowed to a walk, not thinking at he walked down the path and skirted around the large mansion. As for me, however, I paused and stared up at the dark house. Surely this wasn’t where she was a maid. Her clothes obviously made it clear she was from town. So what was she doing here? Clenching my fists tight, I finally decided to find my friend who had disappeared from sight.

                “It’s here,” Yunho whispered from above when I thought I had completely lost him. A handful of feet above, he leaned over the edge of a balcony and waved at me. I raised my eyebrows at the extent he had gone through to follow the woman. He seriously climbed the balcony in order to watch her for me? Scrunching up my nose, I moved to take the vines he used and carefully climbed.

                “You’re insane,” I huffed as I struggled near the middle.

                “That’s not exactly the thanks I was expecting.”

                “How did you think of climbing up this?”

                “Well, I was hanging out down below until I heard the doors slam open and she stumbled open. She was so pale.”

                “She’s already pale.”

                “Yes, but it was a different kind of pale.”

                “If she was out here earlier, then where is she now?” I grumbled as I struggled to heave myself onto the balcony only to crash into something.

                “Graceful, Changmin-ah, very graceful,” my friend chuckled.

                “Hush.” With that, I turned to the window and saw that the woman was slumped on a large four post bed in the middle of the room. “What?”

                “Supposedly her long lost cousin came to her mistress’ house to claim her.”

                “What?”

                “I don’t know what’s going on, but that man is definitely not human.”

                At that, a tall man entered the room followed by a maid holding a wash bin and cloth. When the maid tried to dab at Victoria’s forehead, though, she shied away. Such a sight made me yearn to step forward and take over. But it seemed like the man in the room was one step ahead. He took the cloth away and dismissed the maid. When she was gone, he tried to dab at the weakened woman’s forehead. Yet again, she dodged the attempt. A weird ache suddenly tugged at my heart, making me turn away.

                “Thank you, Hyung, for following her. I’m relieved that she’s being treated better,” I sighed and moved to the vine once more.

                “But Changmin…”

                “Let’s just call it a day, okay? We might have to go out and search again tomorrow. If so, then we should head back. And bumps are rising on my skin, so I should probably hurry and change.” Without another word, I climbed back down and headed back the way we came.

                Something deep within my chest screamed that I was the culprit. I was the reason why she was still suffering. And with every heavy step I took back home, I realized how much I hated this inability to remember my wrongdoings.

Author's Note:

Hiiiii readers~~~~~ ^__________^

So, it's been forever since I released the first chapter, and I'm sorry. I hope you are all still waiting patiently. I'm still adapting to my new busy life. I mean, I went from working 15-20 hours a week to 30 on top of getting back into the routine of meeting my personal trainer 3 days a week. Sooo my time is limited. Luckily, though, I have weekends~~~ ^____^ Also, I had this chapter handwritten a week or so ago. But I caught a cold that I'm still fighting off. So whenever I looked at the screen, I'd get uber sleepy T__________T 

Um so about this chapter. I would like your guys' opinion on whether I should change it back to only Victoria's voice. Or if you like this addition of Changmin's voice, then I will happily keep it~ ^_^ That was another thing that made the chapter take so long. I realized that my chapter for him wouldn't have sufficient material...so I had to write and re-write. I think it's because my character for Jaejoong will make any chapter without him dull. T^T I wrote this chapter five times before I decided to finish it and be done. T^T Anyways, I hope you all like it. And please let me know what you think~~~~

Love you all!!! <3

POLL!!!