Forever in my heart. Finally I know what the message on my locket means, thank you Junhong! All those years of examining it and trying to figure out what it meant. Now I know. It’s kind of sad too knowing my mom loved me so much and yet I can’t remember what she looked like. At least I want to know her as much I got to know about my dad from Aunt Linda. I wish I could see her one more time. Just a glance, I’d be so happy….

It was a cool Monday morning and as early as ever I was yet again the first to be seated in my classroom. I was just writing my diary, updating my friend on the latest information when I heard Junhong’s voice which made me look in his direction. He was unusually early.

Junhong was talking to his friend, the one he normally hung out with. I smiled at the sight of their friendship. They were sharing jokes they only knew and looks which they were only familiar with. I wondered how was it like to have a friend like that, who knew what you were thinking. Someone who would know immediately what was on your mind just by the look on your face.

My problem was, as much as I liked friendships like theirs I could never afford to let anyone know anything about me. I couldn’t let anyone penetrate the walls I had created for years around myself. My sorrows were my own and I couldn’t let anyone be burdened by them.

After both of them were done talking and his friend left, Junhong approached me.

“Annyeong Hasayo! I’m sorry about that, Jongup was just trying to coax me into playing basketball with him after school since we have an upcoming match. But I told him that you and I had to walk home together today so I couldn’t.”

“No, no it’s ok. You shouldn’t just let go of your plans just because of me. Besides practicing for a basketball match is much more important, I can walk home by myself.” I smiled, trying to mask the guilt of drawing a wedge in their plans. I didn’t want to break anyone’s friendship. “You should go tell Jongup that now.”

“Are you sure?” he asked me with a tone of uncertainty in his own voice.

I nodded enthusiastically to his question. He smiled, and immediately left the classroom to tell Jongup about the change of plans. Though I did feel a little lamentable about the fact that I won’t have his company while I walk home, I really felt happy when he was around. But let’s not be selfish Hana.

Later, the classroom was full and the bell was about to ring at any minute. Everyone had been seated in their respective places but there was one seat that was till empty; Junhong’s. I had started to fret about his absence.

Just then, a second before the bell rang he came sprinting into the room and had quickly occupied his seat. He was panting but he managed to whisper,

“He was really happy. Thank you Hana.”

A smile stretched across my face to match his.

***

As soon as the bell rang for the last period, Junhong turned to me,

“Hana, I have to meet up with Jongup. If you want, you can come to the gym room and watch us play.”

After I nodded, he swiftly waved me goodbye and rushed out to play basketball with Jongup. I felt contented that he also got to spend time with his friend but I also couldn’t help but feel a little dejected too because after he dropped me home on Saturday I was actually looking forward to doing it again; to walk home with him and talk like we did that day. But I’m ok.

After packing my bag and grabbing my dairy, I decided that before I went home I should go watch Junhong’s and Jongup’s practice. After all, Junhong had been polite enough to invite me. In the gym, they already had started practicing, dressed up in their basketball uniforms. It was only the two of them playing at the moment.

I just moved myself to the first row of the sitting stands and occupied a seat there. I noticed that besides us three the gym was empty. Both of them were so engrossed in their game that they didn’t even notice me come in and settle down and I didn’t even disturb them as well. I just silently watched their game. They both were astounding.

I accidently dropped my diary; I picked it up and looked at the page that had fallen open. It was a page I had written a long time ago, from the time when I had newly developed the habit of writing down my feelings. It was a page referring to my past. A page referring to Junie.

My emotions immediately changed color from amazement and exhilaration to emptiness and melancholy as I looked at the tiny piece of paper slightly bigger than the pendant of my locket, attached to the page in the corner. It seemed to have been drawn and colored by little kids. It was half a circle, deliberately cut from the middle as if only half of the circle was meant for me and half of it was for someone else to keep. And I knew that ‘someone’ was Junie as my half had the letters J,U,N the first three letters of his name and H,A the first two letters of my name. What made this even sadder was the halved plus sign in the middle of our syllables. It was another part of my life that remained a mystery to me. A very important part of my life.

I pondered over it, I couldn’t help but feel frustrated at my failure to remember a person who had once been so important to me.

I was dragged out of my thoughts as someone shouted,

“Watch out!” just before the ball hit me hard on the head. I groaned a little in pain as Junhong and Jongup came rushing to my aid. Jongup continuously kept apologizing for his mistake as Junhong asked me if I as alright while lending me a hand to help me stand up from my seat.

Jongup hastily bowed and apologized for a hundredth time.

“Jeosonghabnida!”  I could see the guilt on his face when he met my eyes. I just sweetly smiled and waved him off telling him that it was alright. He felt relieved.

There was silence between us for a few moments, only their panting could be heard. Junhong was the first to break the silence.

“I forgot to introduce you guys to each other. Hana this is Jongup as you already know and Jongup this is Hana, the friend I told you about.”

Without saying a word he just smiled and shyly waved.

It was the first time I was seeing Jongup up close. He was inches shorter than Junhong but his shoulders were very broad and his physique seemed hard and strong. He had tiny adorable eyes that turned into a crescent like shape when he smiled. His hair, soaked in sweat were matted on his forehead, they were light brown, a color somewhat between blonde and brown resembling the color of freshly dried autumn leaves.

“Hana, so what did you think about our game? Were we good enough?” Junhong asked.

“You both were awesome!” I shyly showed them a thumbs up, further corroborating my statement.

“Cool! Would you like to give it a try as well?” He questioned excitedly.

“I don’t know……” I mumbled and smiled nervously.

But before I could reject his offer he said, “C’mon.” and tugged at my wrist as he pulled me to the middle of the court. Jongup followed behind. Soon, we both realized that he was holding my wrist, Junhong quickly let go. We both blushed and looked away. I felt my heart palpitating in my chest and my cheeks and ears heating up even more.

This awkwardness was soon broken by Jongup,

“You should stop clutching that pin, Junhong. You should put it somewhere else otherwise you’ll end up losing it anyway. Or breaking it.”

That’s when I noticed Junhong’s habit of reaching into his side pocket and making sure that whatever he kept in there was still in his pocket, safe and sound. It definitely seemed something important to him.

Soon we took up our positions and the game began. I was pretty agile even to my surprise and handled the ball with ease. Even though I was a little clumsy here and there but overall I was good, knowing from Jongup’s and Junhong’s expression. We kept playing, absorbed in the game.

***

“THAT WAS AWESOME!” Junhong raised his fist in the air as we breathed heavily, having collapsed on the floor.

“Hana, you were amazing! Have you played basketball before? Jongup asked.

I nodded. “Kind off. At my old school I usually tried to make baskets with a ball, just to kill time and distract myself from things.”

“Cool!” Junhong added in. “I guess that’s enough practice for today. We better get home now.”

After changing their clothes, Jongup and Junhong joined me at the entrance of our school. We both bid Jongup goodbye.

“Now should I walk you home?” He asked smiling, as he turned towards me. And so we did eventually. We both sauntered in the direction of my apartment talking and occasionally laughing. The whole journey even though lasted only a few minutes, was great.

At my doorstep I once again offered him to come in but he told me he better get going. I noticed it again that he reached into his hoodie’s pocket to check whether the thing he cared about so much was there or not. It was his habit, and whatever that thing was I had a feeling he carried it every day in the pocket of either his jeans or hoodie.

Before we waved each other a goodbye Junhong quickly added,

“Oh and Hana, my mom has invited you to have dinner with us on Saturday.” He told me shyly. “I purposely saved this information for the last moment because I didn’t want you to think about it too much in school and at the end of the day decide that you’re not going to come. My mom and I both are not taking a ‘No’ for an answer. Especially my mom, she is super persistent. Sorry for leaving it for the last moment.”

With that he quickly waved a goodbye and ran away down the street, disappearing just before I could answer or say anything.

The color had drained out of my face and a wave of nervousness and a million thoughts and questions washed over me as I stood their blankly staring in the direction he went.