Prologue – Taekwoon.

She looked down at the ground for a moment, and I waited with bated breath for her next move, hoping she wouldn’t reject me again. We weren’t alone; in fact the whole room was full of people celebrating, the noise was almost unbearable. I was never one to enjoy a party, but I had to know tonight what would happen. Despite the people around me, all I could focus on was the girl standing across the studio space, my muscles wiring up with the wait.

Her eyes seemed to be transfixed on the floor under her feet and I sighed, it felt like hours went by before she glanced back up. But when they did they sought out my own dark orbs and slowly she began to smile. As her lips widened into a grin, I couldn’t help but mirror her gesture, hiding my mouth momentarily behind my hand. My body felt a surge release throughout it at her reaction, all my nerves dispersing the longer she smiled back at me.

But then it faded and I wondered why, faltering for a moment. The brunette shook her head, a wave of loose curls floating out about her round face. She covered and looked back down at the ground. My heart began to thump from lack of air as I stood there trying to decipher the message she was sending me without being able to talk to her. But in front of our friends, and company staff, I knew better than talking about something where anyone could hear in. I was stuck in a bind, wanting to know everything, but realising my place as an idol restricted me from such knowledge right then.

“I’m sorry,” she mouthed and then diverted her gaze completely, turning to a fellow staff member and talking to them distractedly. What electricity had been flowing through my veins seemed to zap away all my energy, and the pain closed off my lungs. I was jostled about by someone, though I had no idea who, and I pushed them off before walking across the room.

She glanced at me with wide eyes, still maintaining her conversation with the stylist, though her attention was on me. I could feel her eyes following my back as I passed by her and into the small practice room, shutting the door hard behind me as if to shut out the world beyond it. Sitting down at the keyboard, I flicked on the power button and bashed the keys vigorously until my emotions had stopped raging, not allowing myself to react any further than I already had.

I was beginning to fall in too deep with our relationship; that much I accepted. And I knew she felt the same too, which had led us to this pivotal moment. But it was getting frustrating, knowing what I wanted but feeling a sense of obligation to ignore the set of emotions. I was an idol, and dating had been banned by our CEO. Although I was aware that many idols dated behind the scenes, with each other or staff members and trainees, I had never felt the need to bother. My goals had been to become a singer, and then to become the best singer I possibly could be.

I had never expected to fall in love completely like this. I didn’t know how to handle the disruption in my life, and with someone I worked with every day. My reactions to her presence in my life seemed to have a bipolar effect, and fleeting moments of happiness were usually crushed by the reality every time.

Just like tonight.