Erase

FIVE

Seon walked ahead of Kayleen at the narrow gravel path lined with tall hedges on both sides. “We’re here. This is the First Orphanage.” He said flatly. Few more steps until he finally decided to stop and threw a glance at her. A warm autumn breeze brushed gently over her untied hair. Kayleen, who seemed oblivious to her surrouding, remained at the same spot while her right hand was fiddling with her necklace.

‘First...Orphanage.’

The word "first" bounced inside her brain and caused a heavy sensation knotted in her chest, so tensed that it suffocated her.  She held her palms against her chest and lightly patted over it. Of a memory that she wouldn't be able to understand, she wondered what price would it take if she were to erase everything? 

Two years ago,

Kayleen opened her eyes only to realize that she was no longer inside the hospital's room. Darkness struck its surrounding. Beam of fire scorched her skin from nearby but she couldn't see nor feel anything. A soft fabric shoved inside and was tied around her neck. If locked in the hospital gave her a taste of hell, then, being in here, an unknown place, was far worse than anything she had ever envisioned. Nothing come inside her mind, or rather, she refused to think. If only she was born without feelings, then everything could've been easier. It felt like just a while ago, Jaison was in front of her, telling her about the joy of death..., and in a blink of an eye, she had stepped into a whole new world, but the only difference was: she's alone. 

It had come to her deepest thoughts that perhaps everything was the Heaven's punishment toward her. 

A slight creak of the door had caused her heart to rear up like a startle horse. Her eyes fluttered as she bit her lower lips harder that it could bleed. 

"Take care of the rest." Said the first voice. It almost as if he had a sore throat. His voice sounded so strained and yet managed sending shivers to Kayleen, who had kept her head low. Every bits of defence faded within her when she saw the person's shoes settled just a few inches above her own. She gulped. Small sweats trailed down beside her cheek. When the person wiped the small sweat out of her forehead, she ripped back immediately. 

"Do-Don't!" She yelled in agony. Her eyes widened in shock as she saw the masked man stood before eyes. Memories wouldn't be able to fool her for the second time. It was exactly the same person who had kidnapped her in that hospital during the day Jaison was operated. Then, is he the so-called psychopath surgeon? but, how come? He was already put into police custody, she was sure of hearing it from the nurses talking. 

"Wh-Who a-are..." she barely finished her words when the masked man crouched down beside her, mimicking the way he did back then. 

"Kayleen Alice." He whispered out her name beside her ears. Kayleen clenched her fists. This can't be true. The murderer...was a different person. It wasn't the surgeon like in the news. Twirled of emotions evoked inside her. She could sense the hair on the back of her neck stood.

"Too bad, we met again." He hushed into her ear. That raspy voice stirred her up. Kayleen eyes felt weighted down but with all might, she gathered her strength to look at the person's eyes. She noticed a non-healing scar next to his sideburn. 

"Do you want to live?" with one sweep, he seized her hand and pulled her closer. The moment of eye contact struck her chest painfully. They continued to stare straight into each other's eyes. Kayleen wasn't able to breath; she barely remember how to. 

"Erase everything." His eyes were looking at her unblinkingly. "What you saw that day, about Hana-" In that spur moment, he quickly let go of her hands. Kayleen could hear a hiss beyond his covered mouth.

'Hana? Who's that?'

'Why did everything have to turn out this way?'

'Why...her?'

'What did they want from her?'

'Why...did they force her to remember something that's not register in her memory?'

Seon lowered himself to the same level as her face. Kayleen’s eyes were already welling with tears as she recalled the second kidnappings that happened two years ago. Her lips curved down. Seon felt something clicked inside of him. A strange feeling embraced him as his eyes trailed on her, but only to quickly flit away. In that moment in time, he mirrored himself of her. In the past, he used to be like that – being afflicted, and afraid of something that was invinsible to others. He would rather die than to experience those feelings over again.

Slowly, he reached out his hand to her, and smoothed out her hair softly. Kayleen jerked back the moment she sensed his touch. She wrapped her hands tightly over her chest and was breathing heavily. Her face turned from pink into deadly pale as he tucked her hair behind her ear. Reflexively, she tried to swat his hand off her, but instead, he clutched her wrist. His gaze never left her. Kayleen gulped hard while she struggled to escape from his grasped.

“I won’t ask you to look at me while I speak, or smile when I smile...but,” they were staring into each other’s eyes. His deep, penetrating eyes were sending the shivers up and down to her spine. She froze and a small sweat trailed down from her foreheads. Seon noticed her escalated fears toward him, so he slowly released her wrist, and straightened his posture. “Just don’t cry. Everything would be alright. Just erase everything and live on." Kayleen almost stopped breathing when she heard those words coming out from him. The moment of eye contact with her kidnappers had infested her mind once again. There was a pregnant pause afterward. They stood facing each other, but no one had said a word. It was something new occurred to Kayleen, for one unspoiled moment, she actually felt something, twisting her insides, and at that very moment, it meant the whole world to her.

***

Glancing down the mahogany floor tiles, Kayleen pretended to smooth out the non-existent wrinkles on her knee-length white-laced dress, the only one dress sent by her mother few days ahead. Seon carefully released the door knob before positioned himself behind Kayleen. Despite of knowing her for only about an hour ago, he was able to latch on a few of her peculiarities – she was sensitive with sound – a certain raise of voice.

Frankly, he didn’t know much about the incident that revolved around Kayleen until a week ago, that was when he volunteered to pick her up. He couldn’t read through everything, partly because there were too many of it, nor did he favour reading, and foremost, it didn’t at all mattered to him. The least he knew about her past was the better for him to get along with her. He was relatively realistic; the past should’ve stayed in the past; one’s could’ve learned whatever lessons from it, and went on. Reminiscing only worked for the melancholic one, and apparently he didn’t want to be one of them, or at least, that was his belief.

“We’re here.” Seon said and bowed slightly toward the middle-age man, who stood in front of a large book shelf on the left hand side of the room, with his back facing them. He wore a brownish zigzag pattern of froak coat. The gentleman hummed a response to Seon’s greetings and eventually closed the book that he was flipping at. He took his time before partially turned his body to them. His gestures seemed unnatural and hesitant. Seon cleared out his throat as to notify their presence inside the room.

Kayleen stiffened. She didn’t flinch or had said anything. When she saw movement around the side, she fidgeted. Clearly, she was nowhere comfortable. Both her hands were pressed tightly together, checking out her surrounding warily. The room was furnished with handcrafted wood, mahogany-coloured. Over the right hand side, the wall was made-up with red-brown bricks, which covered by varied colours of floral vines. There was a familiar scent coming out of it. All in all, it was soothingly pleasant to look at; Kayleen could help but to feel a little bit overwhelmed with its nostalgic view. Bit by bit, the skin between her foreheads began to smoothen. Her body relaxed as the tension eased from inside. Odd warmth bloomed in her chest. But that wasn’t all of it, Kayleen almost gasped when she saw a small pond situated at the corner. The rhythmic sound of water pouring through its partial opening had sparked something in her. She blinked her eyes for the umpteenth times, trying to figure out something at the back of her mind. It was when the gentleman passed by her, and strode out toward the small pond had clouded her thoughts. Hence, she dropped whatever pretence she had felt before and hastily lowered her gaze to the floor. She was wrong if she thought today she wouldn’t have to see any stranger around. Her mother had sent some stranger to fetch her, and the girl she saw earlier at the Centre, who claimed herself as Mio, intimidated her.

The gentleman put his bowler hat beneath his armpit while pocketing a cigarette wallet card box. He smiled gratefully at Seon, flashing his white spotless teeth. By the time he was doing