Hey! So sorry for taking a long time to write this. I kind of stumbled on a block of how to continue the story. Had so many ideas but it was hard to make it all fit. So, this is how I decided to go with it. I hope you guys like it. In case you're confused, the bolded parts are his memories, the ones written in Italic are his thoughts. I’m thinking of continuing the story, making another chapter but I’m not sure felt it ended quite nicely here. But I do have some…kind of…a little idea on a third and final chapter. Tell me what you think. Should I continue it or leave it as is? Also, I'm very bad at giving titles. If you have a better idea for the title please let me know. And if you have any ideas you want me to write about, I'm always up for a challenge!

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As Yugyeom walks out onto the street, he is relieved that none of the usual fans are there. He was glad for this small reprieve because he doesn’t really feel like putting on a show tonight. Not that he isn’t happy for the attention, it just shows how loved they are. It is just that always smiling and acting happy can put a heavy toll on the body. With the way he is feeling now, he didn’t think he could put on any kind of happy face.

Sighing, he looks up and sees nothing but the night sky. Dark, like his mood right now. Not even the few streetlights available could chase it away. Looking left and right, he sees nothing but empty streets. It is like the world itself knows how he is feeling and decided to give him some space to recover. No one is crazy enough to venture out this late, he thinks. Everyone is probably cozying up together in front of the tv and enjoying each other’s company. Everyone but me. Laughing bitterly, he turns to his left and walk, destination unknown. He doesn’t care really, as long as he keeps walking.

Taking one step after another, his mind wanders back to earlier today. How much happier and excited he was to get up and get going.

Despite not having any schedule, he had woken up very early. It was unusual for him because he always takes advantage of these rare free days to sleeps in as long as he could. But today, his mind was just too excited about the day and the special meaning it has. Checking his phone, he could not help but grin at seeing the date. Yup, one year ago today, he finally gathered enough courage to confess to his fatally attractive leader.

Lying back, he couldn’t help but giggle a bit as he thinks back on how he had confessed. He blush at just how cheesy it was. He remembers spending the whole week before asking (bribing and blackmailing) his hyungs to help him. He knew that he would get endless torment for it (and he did get teased mercilessly about it for weeks until Jaebum stopped them, which led to more covert teasing about overprotective boyfriends), but for his plan to work he needed them to help distract Jaebum for the day and be gone for the night.

He sighed as he remembered all the things he had to do. He had to bribe BamBam and Youngjae with two bars of chocolate each, one before and one after the deed is done. He had to do all of Mark’s laundry for a month. For Jackson, he had to promise to give him a massage whenever he wanted for a period of three months. Jackson had wanted more but he had to remind his hyung about a certain attraction that a certain Wild and y had on a certain Red Head. And if that certain Wild and y did not want the said Red Head to know of the small notebook he had filled with Red Head’s name surrounded with hearts, he would accept three months. And no, pictures were taken so he can’t just hide it again. And thank you, he is the devil’s child.

Jinyoung proved the easiest to sway. All he had to do was flash a little aegyo, tell him the reason and he was more than willing to help. He even offered to teach how to bake his famous chocolate cake for the night and promised to keep the others in line. Until now, he could not thank his hyung enough for it.

“Yugyeom, why are you giggling so loud?” croaked a sleepy BamBam, his throat still figuring out how to work. Looking at the clock on the wall, BamBam covers his face with his pillow and whines, “It is way too early to be this happy.”

“Sorry BamBam, didn’t realised it,” said Yugyeom as he covers his smile with a pillow, “It’s just a good day.”

Glaring at him from behind his pillow, BamBam said “Right…And it has nothing to do with the fact that today is your one year anniversary.” Looking at Yugyeom’s shocked face and sensing the unasked question, he throws his pillow at Yugyeom before continuing, “How do I know? Well…It could be that I’m psychic. Or it could be that you won’t stop talking about it last night before bed.”

Yugyeom laughs loudly as he throws the pillow back, earning a grunt from the small boy across from him. Putting on his cutest pout he said, “Sorry hyung, didn’t mean to bother you so much with it. Forgive me?”

“Save it! Your aegyo won’t work on me. I’m the cutest member remember,” said BamBam as he puts on a stern face.

“I thought you wanted to be the manliest member,” teased Yugyeom.

“You know what, I’m just gonna ignore you. It is way too early to deal with you,” said BamBam as he buries himself under his blanket.

Yugyeom smiles a little as he remembers how he had to prod and beg BamBam to forgive him. In the end, he ended up promising to buy him ice-cream (chocolate, of course). Looking around he realised that he had walked all the way to a small park. It was just a small field with two swing sets, a small slide and a wooden bench. His smile widens as he recognised the park. It was his park. Well, not really his park, he doesn’t own it. It probably belongs to the city council or something but in his heart it would always be his park.

It’s the park he visited often when he was a trainee. Whenever the training got too tough or the other trainees too mean, he would always walk to this park to cry. It was always empty, probably because it was nestled in between two houses and far away from the main street. The trees that surrounds the park gives it some privacy from the surrounding houses and the bench is located directly underneath a big tree in the back. It was a perfect place to wallow in his grief and recuperate. Although he hasn’t been here for a long time, his body still remembers this little safe haven.  

Walking slowly towards the bench, he remembers all the tears he had shed here. The bench had witness so many of Yugyeom’s breakdown. If it decided to talk, he would be in big trouble. Sitting down, he thinks back to why he stopped coming.

It wasn’t my fault!, Yugyeom scream in his head as he pulls his knees closer to his body, angry tears streaming down his face. How was he supposed to master flipping so fast! It wasn’t his fault that he isn’t as strong as Jackson-hyung. He can’t help it if he isn’t as flexible as Mark-hyung. It just wasn’t fair that the dance instructor would yell at him for something he can’t help!

He had tried so hard! He even asked Jackson-hyung and Mark-hyung to help him. He watched how they did it, how their body just seems to soar in the air. He followed their advice and he practised it every night but he just couldn’t do it. He understands that they are going to be debuting as a martial arts tricking group. For that to happen, all members had to able to do some kind of tricking. He knows he needs to carry his weight. He knows all that but it still wasn’t his fault.

It wasn’t his fault he was afraid of falling. It wasn’t his fault he was afraid of getting hurt. He has seen Jackson-hyung fall once and sprained his wrist. It wasn’t his fault that he didn’t want that to happen to him too. It just isn’t fair that Youngjae gets a free pass but he gets scolded so harshly. Although Youngjae joined much later than him, they both started learning tricking at the same time. Why didn’t the instructor call him a coward! Why didn’t the instructor tell him to get over it and grow up!

More tears fall as he remembers all the harsh words the instructor had directed at him. He could only hang his head low and take it as everyone watches uncomfortably. He remembers the shame as the instructor left the studio angrily. The one tear that broke free no matter how hard he tried to keep it in. How the shame doubled as he looked up and saw Jaebum, the hyung that he admired the most is not even looking at him, anger evident in his body language. He didn’t mean to be so bad at it and disappoint them all. He could only mutter a quick apology before running out of the studio to his safe haven, his park.

The anger he felt quickly turned to shame at that image of Jaebum and he sobs even harder, hunching his body tighter, smaller. He was so lost in his tears that he didn’t realised that someone else was there, watching him cry. Before he knew it, he was pulled into a tight hug, his face pressed into a firm chest.

He was so shocked his body automatically stiffen. Who was it? Who saw him crying like a baby? No one ever comes here. No one should have seen him at all. Did someone follow him here? Glancing up, his heart fell to his stomach.

 “Jaebum-hyung,” Yugyeom whispers in surprise, “Wha…What are you doing?”

Jaebum only gives a soft laugh that Yugyeom felt more than heard. "What do you think I'm doing? I'm giving you a hug."

"How did you know I was here?"whispers Yugyeom again, confused at this rare show of affection.

Shrugging, Jaebum whispers back, "I followed you here."

"Why?"

"Why do you think? I'm here because my maknae just ran out into the night without taking anything with him. No jacket, no phone," Jaebum answers, worry evident in his voice, "I was worried you might get hurt so I followed you."

 Although he tries to hide it, a few more tears escaped and fell on Jaebum’s shirt. No one ever cared enough to follow him before. Not even his best friend BamBam. 

“Hyung, your shirt…It’ll get wet,” said Yugyeom, leaning back. 

“Don’t worry Yugyeom, I don’t care about the shirt. I have plenty at home,” said Jeabum softly while Yugyeom’s hair. The action feels so nice. It felt safe. It felt like home. It reminded him of his mother. How when he was younger and had a bad day, she would always cradle him close and his hair. “How are you holding up?” Yugyeom stays silent, not sure how to answer that. He wasn’t really sure about what is going on. Wasn’t Jaebum-hyung angry at him?

“Why would I be angry at you, silly,” scoffed Jaebum, tightening his arms. Yugyeom blushed when he realised that he actually said it out loud. Mortified, he buries himself even deeper into Jaebum’s chest. Laughing louder now, Jaebum gave a soft peck to the top of his head. “No, the person I’m angry at is that stupid bas…I mean…that stupid instructor and his …I mean… stupid attitude. The only reason I didn’t kick that bas…ahh…guy’s …I mean…you know what I mean,” stuttered Jaebum as he tries to express his thoughts while keeping it clean. Yugyeom couldn’t help but laugh at his attempt and soon Jaebum is laughing together with him. Yugyeoms finds himself liking the sound of Jaebum's laugh.

“You know hyung, you don’t have to keep censoring yourself. I’m old enough to know those words,” said Yugyeom as he calms down a bit.

“Hah…Like that will ever happen. I’ll protect your innocence as long as I can,” pulling back, Jaebum uses one hand to gently lift his face. Kissing his forehead, Jaebum gives him a wink and a big smile, “I’ll always protect you. So always come to me when you feel sad ok. I’ll chase them all away.”

Yugyeom’s face turned bright red as his heart fluttered at the words. He did the only thing he could; he buries his face back into his hyung’s chest.

Coming back from the memory, Yugyeom realises that he is actually smiling. As he looks around the park, he remembers all the times he didn't come here but went to Jaebum’s arms instead. All the tears that Jaebum’s shirts have absorbed. All the warmth he felt from Jaebum’s hugs. All the frowns that turned to smiles at Jaebum’s lame jokes. He remembers how safe he felt. No matter how bad things get, he could always count on Jaebum’s warm hugs.

Closing his eyes, Yugyeom realised that Jaebum has always been there. He feels silly now at his action. So he forgot their anniversary, it’s not the end of the world. Compared to all they have shared, what does a stupid date matter. They’ll have more anniversaries in the future. And even if Jaebum forgets all of them, it won’t matter. He knows now that all that matters is their relationship.

Eyes still closed, he turns his face towards the sky and smile.

He feels him first before he hears the footsteps. Running at first, and then slowing down to a walk, finally stopping in front of him.

“Yugyeom,” someone whispers, sounding almost afraid.

Opening his eyes, he faces the man standing in front of him, the man that has always been there.

“Hyung.”