My mom once said that my name wasn't only words. She said Ae means love, and Ra means a girl. She gave me that name, hoping that one day I'll grow up to be a girl which full of love. But in fact, I've never fallen in love with anyone. Not until I met Kai that day, at the rooftop.

I used to think that I'll be okay even if i didn't love anyone, but now it's different.I fell in love with him, and I wanted to keep loving him like this.Despite the people who pitied me, he only saw me as myself, not anyone else. He gave me feelings I've never felt with anyone before. He gave me happiness just by being himself.
And now, he didn't look happy. I've never seen him so sad, and it kills me.

"My girlfriend died because of me."
I tried to process Kai's word in my brain. What did he mean? Why would he say that?
"But.." I spoke carefully. "I thought you said she died on car accident."
"I was in that car that day." He said. "We.. We had a big fight. I yelled at her, saying cruel words at her. I didn't realize our car went out of line..." He tried so hard to speak, but his voice started to shaking. 
He tried so hard to held his tears.
"I didn't know... I didn't know that was our last time.."
I put my arms around his neck, holding him. 
I felt his shoulder started shaking as well. Kai is crying.
I knew that boys didn't usually cry except if their heart really can't take it.
Boys didn't usually cry over something, except if that something really matters to them.
Kai is crying, and I can't do anything to comfort him. I felt useless.
"It's my fault." He kept whispering in my ears. "It's all my fault..."
I shook my head. "It's not anyone's fault, Kai. Don't blame yourself."
"I killed her, Ae Ra-ya.." He spoke hardly between his cry. "I'm a murderer."
"Kai..."
He pulled himself off as he stopped crying.
"Please don't like me." He said.
"What?"
"Don't like me. Don't fall for me. Just don't."
I bit my lower lip. Did he just reject me?
"I'm a murderer. I can't make you happy." He said bitterly. "And I'm dying."

I felt my heart was stabbed so hard hearing his last word.
I'm dying.
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