It was an accident. Junhong had a broken leg, Yongguk had worse fractures, all of them got hurt but none of them suffered as much as Daehyun.

Daehyun was sitting on the hospital bed when everyone crowded around him, glad to see him awake after days when he started to open his mouth but nothing came out. His eyes widened in fear and the doctors came along, but none of them could make him talk.

Daehyun tried to say something but every time, only a raspy sound came out of his throat. They said it’ll come back sooner or later, just not now and they still have time before the other members healed completely for the next comeback. But when Junhong’s cast was taken off and Youngjae no longer had problems with his arm, Daehyun’s voice still hasn’t came back and the chorus was still empty.

More than a month passed and Daehyun knew they were all anxious for their next comeback. People were making speculations and they were afraid of the uproar that would come if Daehyun’s inability to speech is revealed. Everyone prayed for Daehyun’s voice to recover but it didn’t.

Daehyun cried every night in the dorm like when he first came to Seoul but this time, he didn’t have a dream that wouldn’t come true, he had a dream that was murdered. What was he supposed to do when he can’t sing? He hugged Youngjae and the other friend told him it would be alright because this sort of thing is unpredictable. Youngjae lied beside Daehyun every night they sleep and Daehyun always cried.

Daehyun started to lose all hope when he was still mute after weeks. The company had plans of letting BAP go on without their lead vocalist and the members were all torn between work and Daehyun. Daehyun told them to go on without him because he didn’t know when his voice would really come back. They went on and BAP still did well without him. Youngjae took his parts and Daehyun listened to their songs in the dormitory when he was all alone. He smiled when he watched them perform but then the tears of anxiety came along and he broke down into despair. 

Youngjae hugged him one night when he was pretending to be strong but Youngjae always knew him. He cried so hard that Yongguk took the others out to give him space. Daehyun wrote on a slip of paper for Youngjae to sing for me. Youngjae did and Daehyun told him he wanted to sing again too. Youngjae said he will get better. But there was so much hopelessness, Daehyun couldn’t find the strength to smile.

He eventually faded out of the screen. People were so realistic. It didn’t matter that BAP no longer had Daehyun because he couldn’t even say a word anymore. The hyungs said he should try moving to backstage work and try production.

When BAP was having their third comeback since the unfortunate accident, Daehyun wrote a song for Youngjae and Youngjae only because he wanted Youngjae to sing it for him. He was smiling when he showed Youngjae the song he wrote and Youngjae had tears in his eyes. Daehyun wrote on his paper that Youngjae was a sissy. Youngjae just punched him and yelled like the older times. Youngjae sang the song for him and Daehyun loved it.

Youngjae cried when Daehyun passed him the recording. Daehyun didn’t understand why Youngjae had to cry when they were doing something so nice together but in the end he cried too and he didn’t understand himself. Daehyun gave up hopes on regaining his voice but Youngjae never did.

When BAP finally announced that they were going on as a 5 member group like how it was planned from the very start, nobody felt as sad as Daehyun. Sitting next to Youngjae, Daehyun felt like an average person. He didn’t have dyed hair or a perfect complexion. He didn’t wear nice clothes and he didn’t feel as confident as Youngjae. Daehyun felt like he was shrinking away and he imagined all the taunts inside his mind. He could never sing on stage again like how he always wished to.

Daehyun didn’t know that Youngjae felt as sad as he was.

Daehyun would write songs with the production crew and BAP went on their tours and concerts without him. They were still successful and Daehyun wondered if anybody missed him at all.

When they ended their tour, Daehyun took Youngjae to the studio and played the new song he wrote for him. Youngjae looked tired and Daehyun felt sorry for him but they both smiled when the song ended. Youngjae sang the song for Daehyun, singing every lyric carefully as he stared into Daehyun’s eyes because the words felt so lonely, he felt like his heart was suffering. Every time Daehyun would smile along with them when they were together, Youngjae feels a sort of aching in his heart. Every time Daehyun watched them on stage, every time they went on a tour, Youngjae knew that Daehyun would be watching them from afar, feeling glad for them yet extremely miserable inside. And every time Daehyun hides his feelings, Youngjae felt like he could die.

Remembering how Daehyun said to him that he’s taking over his parts well made Youngjae’s heart sink. Daehyun was feeling like he was nothing special and BAP could have another vocalist as good as him they wanted. Daehyun wasn’t very much needed. Youngjae didn’t like how Daehyun was giving up and fading away. He missed that voice and Daehyun didn’t know Youngjae listens to their old songs every time, repeating Daehyun’s parts over and over again until he would finally fall asleep.

Youngjae didn’t want Daehyun to fade away, he wanted Daehyun to come back and be with them. When Daehyun was fiddling with the recording equipment, or eating quietly by his own, Youngjae could feel how much Daehyun was giving up already. He knew how lonely Daehyun felt when they were all around him because inside, he thought he was no longer part of them anymore. He knew how Daehyun was afraid of being alone in the dormitory, in some place he knew he shouldn’t be stay in anymore, in that silence that scares him so much. When Daehyun showed him the third song he wrote for him, Youngjae suddenly couldn’t hear a single sound in this world because he saw a small subtle smile on Daehyun’s lips and it looked so sad. Youngjae felt something twist inside his chest and he leaned over, pressed his hand over Daehyun’s and kissed the other man on the lips.

No sound came out when Daehyun pulled away with an agape mouth, shocked. Youngjae looked at him sadly and cupped his cheeks, stealing another kiss. It’s late in the night and the studio is dim and quiet. Daehyun’s recording played on in the background as their lips touch one another’s. Daehyun was still reluctant and surprised when Youngjae’s lips captured his own in a slow maneuver, every action very careful and gentle as if Daehyun might just break anytime. He gasped and pulled away again when Youngjae’s tongue touched his own but Youngjae placed a hand over his nape as he brought their lips together again. Daehyun felt his face burning when Youngjae led and into his mouth, hands wrapping around his torso to bring their bodies closer. Youngjae felt so warm and he felt safe at that moment. It suddenly pieced together how much he needed this love. Youngjae let him cry his heart out in his arms and Daehyun knew he was pretending to be strong and only Youngjae knew him.

Nobody else knew about them and when they were alone in the dormitory, Youngjae would hold him in bed and sing into his ear because Daehyun liked to hear Youngjae’s voice. They started to learn how much they wanted one another when Youngjae’s hands held Daehyun’s and pressed them into the bed while Youngjae’s lips took Daehyun’s in a deep kiss. Youngjae kissed down Daehyun’s neck and Daehyun’s eyes turned watery when Youngjae’s hands rubbed his sides soothingly. When Youngjae took him in his arms, Daehyun forgot about the anxiety and insecurity he had. It didn’t matter if he couldn’t sing anymore. He had another dream.

When things started to settle, Daehyun felt like he was sedimenting into real life, finally setting foot upon the ground he didn't touch while struggling to keep his neck up the waters. He brushed the negative feelings off his shoulders and begin to look at his future where he would be in the production studio, doing everything he'd started to love. He didn't want to waste time thinking about what he's lost anymore. He's going to just let this balloon fly away for it might be fate, or just his pure bad luck, but he already had another balloon and that one, Youngjae gave it to him. 

He never would have thought about sitting beside Yongguk, being part of the production process. He was supposed to be the one behind the microphone. But it didn't matter because it was just the same with Youngjae singing, singing it for him and for everyone else.

Daehyun and Youngjae would kiss when nobody was around and that's a rare moment they cherish. Sometimes at the dorm when every one is quietly in sleep, they tried so hard to be quiet it became a game and it always ended up in hurting ribs and stomachs trying to keep the laughter inside. Daehyun murmurred 'I love you' into Youngjae's cheek every night and he knew Youngjae could hear him just fine.

He wondered if years went by or so, it felt like so much have changed but it's all pretty good. Daehyun was contented with life as it is.

BAP had another tour and Daehyun went along, as part of the backstage crew. He was enjoying every moment of it for it felt like he was back in the old times again because he had to share a room with Youngjae and there was always good food to eat. It was BAP whole again. Daehyun's job was to make sure everything could run well during the concert and when Youngjae gestured for him to come over during one of their practices, he thought there was something wrong with the sound system. Youngjae merely passed him the microphone with a smile, hugged him from the back because nobody knew it was more than just bromance. Youngjae said if Daehyun remembered when they were here together the last time. Daehyun nodded and smiled as Youngjae held the microphone in his hands, as if he was going to sing again. Yongguk cheered offstage and the rest joined in. Daehyun smiled really brightly and the music started playing. Youngjae was singing, his face next to Daehyun, hands over Daehyun's, both of them sharing a mic, and both believed they were singing together.

Daehyun mouthed the words and Youngjae smiled because Daehyun looked absolutely perfect under the spotlight. He belonged right here. Youngjae didn't give any time to sorrow, he sang with Daehyun and felt that it was a moment well spent. Yongguk and Junhong were the loudest fan ever.

When they were back in the hotel, Youngjae's lips found Daehyun's the moment he closed the door shut. He pecked Daehyun on the lips once before embracing the other man in a tight hug. The song was still running in Daehyun's mind when he was in the shower. He closed his eyes and mouthed those words again, laughing at himself when he tried to pull a fake high note. He sighed and turned off the faucet. He lip synced as he dressed himself, smiling all the way until Youngjae begin to sing with him when he climbed into bed next to the other man. 

Daehyun loved Youngjae's voice for it made him at ease. Youngjae's arm draped over his torso and he did the same. Youngjae's voice was a soft whisper, a lullaby and he'd love to fall asleep with it surrounding him but it was interrupted by a sudden noise, a croak. A croak that surprised the both of them but it sounded nothing near horrible. It was Daehyun's voice.

Youngjae jumped up from bed and grabbed Daehyun's shoulders when the other man quickly followed suit. Youngjae said, speak again, speak again. And Daehyun tried, a mere sound but it was a gigantic leap from silence. They embraced each other in joy and Daehyun was more surprised than elated. This recovery came when he least expected it, when he least needed it, when he was least desperate for it. Youngjae was right, this sort of thing is unexpected. He tried to project his voice again and again and was closer to pronounciation. Youngjae was thrilled as a hopping rabbit, and yelled that they should tell the others of this great news. But they ended up in bed, with their arms around one another, wordless for their lips were pressed together. Neither of them told the others until the next day.

Epilogue:

The news spread quickly and fans anticipated the return of the lead vocalist. Daehyun was excited and both nervous for his voice was shaky after a long period of inability. The others were sitting at the seats as they watched him practice on stage, all of them had cheerful and encouraging expressions. Daehyun took the microphone up to his lips and began to sing. He didn't sound as professional as he was before but he was singing and that was a blessing. Since a long time, he finally forgone techniques and went with his feelings. He didn't actually hear himself but he felt great. They were all cheering for him when the song ended. They embraced him and spoke of the great plans to comeback as 6 again. 

As they moved off stage, Daehyun felt Youngjae's arms around his shoulder and he closed in and, needless for words, mouthed into Youngjae's cheek, "I love you."